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farscape002002

Fluctuation And Venting

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I hate the way my depression seems to fluctuate. It went away for a few days, but now it is coming back again. I went to the doctor a few days ago and started taking Paxil, though, so it will hopefully get better soon. But my depression keeps going and coming.

It is very annoying because I am a full time college student and I always end up not wanting to do any of my homework whatsoever; even if I try to do it, I can't physically concentrate on what I am doing. In my right mind I love school and doing homework and studying (I know that sounds weird!) and I try my best to keep a 4.0 GPA. I feel like I want a doctor's note, though, so that the teachers will give me more time to finish my work. It isn't really fair to have me on the same time schedule as everyone else when I am not physically capable, even after all of the fighting against it, to overcome my depression and study. This medication will hopefully help me to return to my normal state of mind, but until then, I have to suffer through this depression and try to do my homework. I dread doing it and I dread going to school while I'm so depressed :-(.

On top of full time school I am trying to write a novel. I'm usually a disciplined person and can find the time to do what I need to do, even if it's a lot. But when I get depressed, all the discipline in the world can't make me accomplish what needs to be accomplished. It really cramps up my schedule.

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farscape-

Paxil is one of the most potent side effect creating ADs out there. Yes, you can start on small doses, but I can almost assure you that you will experience "ramp-up" side effects of insomnia.... I can almost assure it will somehow affect your sleep patterns. Also, Paxil can have SEs that take up to 45 days(perhaps longer) to adjust to. If you are just starting, you may well need a doc's note for some days. My experience with Paxil was that I should have requested to 45 days off right up front.

Paxil was not a particularly good med for me. It made me feel great for several years. Susequently it was determined that i am BPII, and Paxil would flip me in to excessively long periods of hypo-mania.

I loved the feeling, yet hated the consequences.

Warmest Regards,

Deepster

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Guest boo

I am a college student as well, and I feel similarly when it comes to doing schoolwork while being depressed. When I don't feel like doing work and can't seem to get myself motivated, I stop and think: How will I feel tomorrow, next week, or one month from now if I get a bad grade on this assignment? I put far too much pressure on myself when it comes to grades, and there are many more important things in life than getting a 4.0 (please excuse me for being a hypocrite here, I drive myself insane keeping the GPA I want!), but getting work done on time is still important. I don't know if you have taken medication before, but for myself having an increase/change in my medication when I am not doing well really does create a noticeable difference in my ability to get my work done effectively.

Looking at this from another perspective, however, I have taken college courses at three different schools since graduating high school, and at each one I have found professors who have been incredibly receptive to my needs. On the rare occasion that I just couldn't get an assignment done or pull myself together to make it to class, a quick, vague email or talk with a professor has (generally) gone extremely well, and I wasn't penalized for it.

I hope you start to feel the positive effects of the Paxil soon, and if you ever want to vent/chat/whatever, feel free to message me!

-boo

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Guest boo

It's a shame there is still so much stigma around mental illness because it really is quite common among college students. I spoke a few times about my own experiences at my old college and so many students approached me after or sent me messages about their own struggles or those of a friend. I know it doesn't make what you are dealing with any easier, but sometimes it's just nice to know we're not alone. It's possible that there are support groups and/or student organizations that deal with this kind of stuff on your campus. Have you looked into that?

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I'm also a college student. I'm not as good of a student as you are, but I've worked pretty hard to maintain a 3.5 GPA with two majors. But after dealing with depressing thoughts for many years, I took a turn for the worse last April when I finally decided to seek help. The depression got to a point where I started feeling more of the physical symptoms: lack of energy, fatigue, loss of interest in everything I used to love, low motivation...you name it, I had it.

I actually decided to take this semester off from school. It was a hard decision to make; the thought of not going back, delaying graduation, being away from friends, but most of all, truly acknowledging to myself that I indeed had depression, was pretty painful for me to deal with. But you know, I am so glad I made that decision. I'm taking the semester to recover and take a few classes at the local community college that I never got a chance to take in college, with all the hustle and bustle of trying to finish two majors.

Many people with depression are the ones who work themselves to the bone. They're the overachievers, the ones who expect so much of themselves, and many of them panic when they don't achieve perfection. I go to a Top 25 college (Top 2-3 public school in the country), had a great GPA, played saxophone in the jazz band and in another band on the side, was a member of two a cappella groups, and had a job on-campus. Yet somehow, I managed to convince myself that I had no future, and my life was meaningless. I've since been seeing a psychiatrist and have been put on meds, and I'm slowly starting to clear my head, see things rationally, and improve a lot of these physical symptoms.

Talk to your professors and see if they can grant you extensions. When my depression hit me late last Spring, my professors were SO understanding. They extended deadlines, offered me encouragement, and just cut me a little extra slack overall. I'm convinced that since you're an especially good student, your professors will be more than willing to help you out. My dean was especially supportive and even called me personally to see how I was doing and to offer some advice.

But if you're still finding you're dealing with too much, you might want to consider taking a semester or two off. I'm doing it, and I know other high-achieving students who have done it, and there's no shame in it whatsoever. Graduation a little bit late really makes no difference in the long run, and neither does a small difference in your GPA. Your health comes first, and there's no reason to put any more stress on yourself than you need.

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I hate the way my depression seems to fluctuate. It went away for a few days, but now it is coming back again. I went to the doctor a few days ago and started taking Paxil, though, so it will hopefully get better soon. But my depression keeps going and coming.

It is very annoying because I am a full time college student and I always end up not wanting to do any of my homework whatsoever; even if I try to do it, I can't physically concentrate on what I am doing. In my right mind I love school and doing homework and studying (I know that sounds weird!) and I try my best to keep a 4.0 GPA. I feel like I want a doctor's note, though, so that the teachers will give me more time to finish my work. It isn't really fair to have me on the same time schedule as everyone else when I am not physically capable, even after all of the fighting against it, to overcome my depression and study. This medication will hopefully help me to return to my normal state of mind, but until then, I have to suffer through this depression and try to do my homework. I dread doing it and I dread going to school while I'm so depressed :-(.

On top of full time school I am trying to write a novel. I'm usually a disciplined person and can find the time to do what I need to do, even if it's a lot. But when I get depressed, all the discipline in the world can't make me accomplish what needs to be accomplished. It really cramps up my schedule.

I feel the same way school is so tough on me and i have failed many times because of depression

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I hate the way my depression seems to fluctuate. It went away for a few days, but now it is coming back again. I went to the doctor a few days ago and started taking Paxil, though, so it will hopefully get better soon. But my depression keeps going and coming.

It is very annoying because I am a full time college student and I always end up not wanting to do any of my homework whatsoever; even if I try to do it, I can't physically concentrate on what I am doing. In my right mind I love school and doing homework and studying (I know that sounds weird!) and I try my best to keep a 4.0 GPA. I feel like I want a doctor's note, though, so that the teachers will give me more time to finish my work. It isn't really fair to have me on the same time schedule as everyone else when I am not physically capable, even after all of the fighting against it, to overcome my depression and study. This medication will hopefully help me to return to my normal state of mind, but until then, I have to suffer through this depression and try to do my homework. I dread doing it and I dread going to school while I'm so depressed :-(.

On top of full time school I am trying to write a novel. I'm usually a disciplined person and can find the time to do what I need to do, even if it's a lot. But when I get depressed, all the discipline in the world can't make me accomplish what needs to be accomplished. It really cramps up my schedule.

Hey Farscape!

I was a college student struggling with depression as well. Unforunately my depression had gotten so bad that I'm taking a break from it at the moment :( Anyway, you should definitely seriously consider talking to your teachers about extensions if you are worried that this depression will affect your progress. It can take a lot of pressure off your mind.

You mentioned your depression fluctuating, do you think it could've been triggered by something? It could be just some freak change in your brain chemistry or something weird like that, but more likely, it's cause and effect, and there was some event that occured that set it off. Can you think of anything that had happened prior to the onset of these periods of depression? Did you see something, talk to someone, do something etc. It can range from something blindingly obvious to something seemingly small and trivial. For example, for me, seeing a mention of my university in the newspaper is usually enough to send me into hours of deep depression because it reminds me of how I had to leave it as well as all the intensely negative anxieties I have in relation to it.

If you're able to identify the triggers to your low moods, it will be one step closer towards being able to do something to control them.

Anyway, best of luck to you :) Hang in there.

Edited by PageUp

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