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You Know You'Re Borderline When...


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They believe that I'm borderline. Is there syptoms that can help me notice the signs?

I have found this very usefull: http://bpdfamily.com/bpdresources/nk_a102.htm

I have observed the sympotms over the last few months and I can actually trace that behavious to a very young age. I don't think this a mental illness, but depression is co morbid (I would say BPD are prone to depression, because of the greater sensitivity - that is my opinion).

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  • 1 month later...

You know you're borderline when there's nothing else you are.

You're a different person every five minutes and you never know who's next.

One night you scream at your boyfriend that you never loved him and you wish he was dead and you're scared of him, and 24 hours later it's all "honey I miss you, I love you, sorry for what I said earlier and will you go to formal with me anyway?"

..

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You know you're Borderline when... someone doesn't immediately call you back and you instantly think they're not speaking to you. You spend an inordinate amount of time analyzing every conversation you've ever had with them, trying to figure out what you've done wrong.

Funnily enough I had a few friends out of the blue and for no reason stopped talking to me. I can not know wht because they do not talk to me but I find it very frustrating.

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Hi everyone :sigh: It's just another night having difficulty falling asleep that has brought me to this forum- so actually being part of a forum/being a member is new for me :confusedread: After reading this YKYBW thread, I first have to commend everyone for sharing their stories & experiences; for the first time, I can completely relate to others on this level. I can laugh & smile because I've also been there so many times, yet want to cry seeing other people having to endure the (many times unbearable) pain and inner torment we struggle with every single day. I'm 21 y/o diagnosed with MDD & OCD (with SI) since about 15; despite countless meds, I have gotten drastically worse in the last several years. My psychiatrist thinks that I definitely display BPT (looking to get a formal evaluation done soon) and therapist believes I do have BPD. The following quote by Marsha Linehan was a life-changing revelation and confirmation to the countless questions of not knowing why I am the way I am: "Borderline individuals are the psychological equivalent of third-degree burn patients. They simply have, so to speak, no emotional skin. Even the slightest touch or movement can create immense suffering". Maybe the following examples are just me, but you know you're borderline when:

-not getting closure after a fallout from the other person (i.e. break-up), haunts you sometimes for years and re-affirms that of course they were going to 'abandon' you so you shouldn't be surprised/why would they want to be with you anyway because clearly you're a train wreck and crazy

-after you try to explain what you are feeling (for the thousandth time) to your significant other/family/doctors/etc., you get what they think is a seemingly harmless response of "Well it could be worse" (logically, it's a valid point...but not the smartest thing to say to someone who wakes up to and exists in a living hell every single day), and then you proceed to despise them because clearly they are ignorant horrible people...until they become 'good' and 'trustworthy' again

-those closest to you can never win with you because it's impossible to keep track of what will set you off next

-those who you're acquaintances with tell you how many things you have going for yourself/they're jealous of your life, and inside your head your screaming at them, and from there on hate them

-a good day means you were somehow able to keep the paranoia of everyone in your life conspiring against you at a minimum

-the saying "Forgive & Forget" is nonexistent to you...even if you can "forgive", you'll never forget-sometimes even if it is the slightest mistake a person unknowingly makes

-during the times you're 'happy'/'content', you constantly wonder how long it will last this time....a minute...an hour...tick tock

Hoping at least some of this makes some sense :lookaround:

nothing_gold_can_stay

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Hello there nothing_gold_can_say welcome to DF and to the personality disorders room. It is always good to see new people in here. There are a few of us here and it is very friendly.

It is overwhelming realising that others have the same diagnosis and have been through such similar experiences isn't it.

What therapy are you having and is it helping you?

Girly

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Hi Girly, yes it is overwhelming yet a relief in a way as well! I've been in psychotherapy on and off with different therapists since I was 12 (it was more being forced to go until I was 16). I don't think it's been helpful, partially because it was against my will for several years so it's left a negative impression with me and partially because now I understand that it may not have been the most beneficial kind of therapy for me. Only in the past year has my psychiatrist mentioned DBT, and I am now looking for a therapist who is both qualified in DBT and dedicated to working with pwbpd. I know some people say that it can take going through numerous therapists until you find the right one so I have some hope left that I will find the right therapist for me. As scary as it is going through the healing process because being this way is really all I've known, I believe the process will be worth it in the long run when I break the cycle of familial dysfunction.

What kind of experience(s) have you had with therapy or coping with bpd?

Thanks for the welcoming,

nothing_gold_can_stay

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Hi nothing_gold_can_stay I can understand your negative impression of therapists after what you've experienced. How sad to force a child to therapy against their will.

I've not had DBT personally, although I must say I've only heard positive things about it. I think it is hard to get on a DBT programme due to their availability so I do hope you find one that works for you.

I agree that it is tough going through a course of therapy where a lot of what you know is undone but it is so worth it. You will still be you but you'll have better techniques for coping with the symptoms.

I've had CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and MBT (Mentalization Based Therapy) the MBT was very tough but it has made a huge difference to me.

Girly

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haha thanks for posting this! wow i can relate to almost every single one of these...

YKYBW

you flip out at someone- for doing nothing wrong (like taking too long to look up a phone number, or putting the something back in the wrong spot and it took you and extra 2 min to find it) and make them feel horrible and then five minutes after venting you expect everything to be fine- like nothing happened, because your fine now. i dont know how many times ive heard "wow you rebound very fast- i just cant get over things quite as quickly" and then i feel rejected and im mad again...

ME too i cant believe other people act this way too. I am new to these forums and its so strange i feel like its me saying this

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I need someone to talk to can someone message me as im so confused and dont know where to turn x

Hi LostLeann

If you need support you can just create a topic on the boards. If you need immediate support you may want to create a topic in Members Needing Extra Support Now.

Trace

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Hi LostLeann

Welcome to DF, I'm glad that you were able to find this thread and to see that you are not alone.

Do you have a diagnosis of BPD or another specific condition? I hope that you continue posting and are able to get some support and friendship here.

Girly

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You know you are borderline when ...

You are in a good / healthy relationship but still find yourself looking 'outside' because you feel unsettled.

You scare yourself because you don't know who you are / who you should be.

You want to scream at someone for being 'stupid' or absentminded.

Crave excitement ... then want to be left alone.

Feel like you're on a never ending emotional roller coaster called life.

You'd rather sleep and dream fantastic thoughts that get up and 'live' in the real world.

Have crazy idealistic thoughts and expect them to become reality somehow ... and fast.

I don't know ... just a few things I feel

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I don't know if this counts as BPD, but...

You assume all sorts of crazy things in your head that leads to imagined feelings of tension with a friend, when in reality nothing happened.

You're hypersensitive to the point of seeing the word "no" in any context as a form of rejection and start being passive-aggressive.

You may forgive but don't forget, and start demonizing every single thing that person does.

You have a rigid idea in your head about what is "right", so when someone tells you that you've gained weight and you look better, you immediately start hitting the gym and your diet plan.

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I don't know if this counts as BPD, but...

You assume all sorts of crazy things in your head that leads to imagined feelings of tension with a friend, when in reality nothing happened.

Hi catatonic

This. Yes it certainly sounds like me and I have BPD.

Girly

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  • 5 months later...

I miss this place.. So i came and revive it.. =p

You know you are borderline when...

You see not keeping promise (someone not going to sleep when they say they would etc.) as lying to you, or cheating or betraying you.. and end up raging as though they had killed your loved ones..

You can say "I love you today" and another day "I hate you so much!" to the same person

You spent $300 to get your hair done (When normally you don't even want to spend $200 on it) just so that you can lift up your mood for a bit...

You feel that there is always something like a storm in you.. invisible but troubling.. you always have the urge to open yourself up and take it out.. (Is it the reason we SI?)

You feel like wanting to die, but you still actually wanting to live.. just without BPD!!!

Edited by Joyandsmile
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You know you are borderline when....

Your friend has done something wrong and as you are pointing it out .. you try to make it worse by making them feel guilty about when they probably shouldn't feel so guilty..

(I think i'm more on the manipulative sense in bpd.. unless we all do it just half of us dont admit we do it lol)

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Oh my.. I do it very often towards my bf.. for little things like.. didn't put back the things he use, forgot to off the light.. drop his food accidentally, didn't wash the plates before use... I can get very angry for very little thing.. and when I myself forgot.. I just shed it off.. lol

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