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PeacePilgrim

Positivity Thread: 3 Things That Went "Right" Today, Edition #4

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Wednesday October 6-2010:

1. My mind was racing all day, but I somehow pulled off both getting three pieces of 4 x 4 lumber to create temporary bed frame at apartment-

AND getting rid of Ashford ice cream from fridge. Both errands were done by Marlene, who also did some healthy grocery shopping for me.

I loaned Marlene my apartment key for the first time to accomplish both tasks. It is an act of courage for me to let someone into one of my "spaces" unsupervised.

2. In addition I prepped for Eric's (contractor's) visit from 4pm to 5pm at Wormwood. We went over the details for construction of landing on side of house at West Hartford, and I gave him all the materials for the door.

It was comforting to me to be able to use Grandfather's desk (newly moved from apartment) to lay out all the materials on.

3. As a bonus, Eric both fixed the broken back walkway light unit--and easily switched cable outlets in electrical closet so that tv in "mural room" now works!

4. I could see from tracking record that Pam now has the troublesome doorstop package in hand.

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Thursday October 7-2010:

1. In spite of extreme exhaustion, I was able to work with Aimee from 3:40pm to close to 9pm (she had plans for after 9 o'clock). She moved the heavy carbon filters for the air purifier to basement at Wormwood, and packed up all the trash (there was a lot!!!). Then we traveled together to Ashford apartment to work from 4:30pm to 8pm. We pulled the wagon up close to the building to make packing up easier. Got the drawers to Grandpa's desk packed and moved, and got the apartment sorted out and back in order after leaving of big furniture pieces last Sunday.

2. It was comforting to me to see my living room at the apartment set up anew as a combination liv rm/bedroom, with my old box spring/mattress perched on three wooden 4 x4s as a temporary bed frame now that the big furniture pieces have left. I have the one small tv, a lawn chair, and my "bed" with comforter all arranged in a cozy corner while i break down the rest of the apartment.

3. Pam came at just the right time (to deliver doorstop package at 6pm) to be able to help with insertion of third 4 x4 for improvised bedframe.

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10/08/2010

1) I woke up. Because as stupid as it sounds, waking up is always a good positive thing. Even if you're depressed and such. It just means you have a chance of change for the better.

2) I actually had time to sit down and read I am Number Four. It's a good book so far and my girlfriend liked it.

3) I actually started trying to write again. I haven't really done anything so far but, I'm sure I can if I keep trying.

4) I joined DF. I think of this as a positive thing since I really do need the support.

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1.) I did 2 baskets of laundry early this morning

2.) I slept for three in a half hours FINALLY!!!!!! :yay:

3.) I have started to write a positive letter to my boyfriend

4.) I have started to write a thinking of you card to my ex best friend

hoping she'll make an amends with me?

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friday october 8-2010:

1. Survived the day.

2. Made a blog entry about my ongoing racing adrenalin/panic attack. (Responses appreciated, thanks.)

3. Aimee came through after all and delivered mail, healthy raw meatloaf, and coconut water.

4. I managed to throw out 2 small floodlights from the back walkway set.

5. I had written this earlier on a piece of paper while trying to get past panic attack: The hum of the dehumidifier in basement is comforting, meaning that at least one thing is in working order. The bright yellow leaves outside the window are beautiful against the brilliant solid blue sky. My cat is comforting.

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I only woke up two hours ago, but!

> I slept really well

> I didn't have any bad dreams

> I feel energized and reasonably positive

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Saturday October 09-2010:

1. Successful coaching session with Cynthia, the first in 6 weeks. Managed to sandwich this in between shopping errands that Marlene was doing for me this afternoon.

2. Marlene successfully returned those pints of Ben & Jerry's and Haagan Daz ice cream that I don't eat anymore, along with some Stonyfield Farm frozen yogurt. Earned me approximately $27 back. Marlene turned on my heat at the Spring Hill house. She took away some of the raw "mock meatloaf" that didn't appeal to me. And also, she resolved the question of finding one of those simple double-belled toilet plungers w/yellow handle. Actually, that was thanks to a VERY helpful customer service person on the phone at Home Depot, who had explained that most plungers these days come with the inside part of the plunger tucked up invisibly inside the outer bell!! Turned out I had one at home that was double-belled and I never knew it!

3. I made it to Ashford apartment on my own just at dusk, around 6:30pm. And worked (with a bit of sleep along the way) until 7:00am in the morning, longest time since perhaps last November when I moved Maggie out to new house. The new sleeping arrangement worked (my cozy living room nook). Watched Saturday Night Live (featuring Glee) and slept maybe 3 hours after that. I got laundry done and discovered that there is a small heating unit in the bathroom that would help dry my hanging clothes faster. (I never knew that that unit could operate independently).

4. I discovered new Laughter Yoga group in Meetup groups; meets an hour away once per week. Worth exploring.

---------------------------

Sunday October 10-2010:

The day started with 2 "healthy" hours of sleep between 9am and 11am. (a positive). But then I was disrupted by a negative that I have had trouble coming back from: faithful Aimee at this crucial moment in time decided last minute to cancel today's work session so that she could rest up for time with her family tomorrow. I am still angry, and floundering from it, hard to get past, but I am here to harvest positives, so here goes:

1. Those "healthy" 2 hours of sleep that I did get.

2. After numerous phone calls ended up in voicemail (Michael, Marla, Warmline), Marlene did call me back, so I had at least one live human being to talk to today. I also texted Eric and he is willing to give me a hand with moving stuff from apartment tomorrow. He also emailed me some information about the West Hartford project.

3. I did two very unexpected things today which I had been waiting ages to do:

--I responded to the CVS lawyer saying that I was NOT satisfied with the settlement offer.

--I actually went ahead and ordered the small supplemental freezer online, and asked for Eric's help in unpackaging it once it arrives (he said yes). I had realized last night that I will badly miss that extra freezer space at the apartment.

I am quite astounded that I did both these things; can't quite believe it.

4. I have been remembering to do some stretches today, and it also helped a lot to beat my bed covers with my cane to get some of the anger and frustration out. And tonight, when I couldn't access my itunes music, I found some relaxation music on youtube, which I am listening to right now.

5. I unwrapped my new jumbo doorstops and put some in place. I also hung my handicapped parking permit in the car at long last.

6. I made a new Greenies drink.

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Monday October 11-2010:

1. Found soothing rain forest audio on YouTube. Helped me gain focus.

2. Marlene helped at Ashford today 3pm to 7pm, as substitute for Aimee in moving things. More stressful than working with Aimee, but we got the important things moved. Also got rid of a lot of trash, and Marlene took away another portion of the raw potluck "mock meatloaf" dish that I don't care for. Pleasant weather for doing this.

3. Aimee confirmed tonight that she WILL be able to help with West Hartford project on Wednesday. Will pick up materials at 2 pm tomorrow. I lucked out and found my previous list of supplies she needs for West Hartford work.

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Tuesday October 12-2010:

1. Was able to get stuff together in time for Aimee pickup at 2pm. She was here for 3/4 hour as we went over the details of the West Hartford project tomorrow, which she is supervising.

2. On Dancing with the Stars, I was able to catch the terrific Jennifer Grey tango which I sadly slept through last night (it was their highlighted dance of the night).

3. Using different "tools" to maintain calmness at this stressful time: rain sounds on YouTube, passages from book on depression and meditation, occasional stretching exercises, healthy diet choices (gluten-free pasta, new Greenie drink), sitting and centering.

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Wednesday October 13-2010:

A job that I have been waiting to have completed for 2 years at West Hartford was done today.

Here are some things that went right:

--everyone arrived on time, 10:00 am exactly!

--the door fit!

--it was done without any major problems

--the phone photos sent by contractor came through just fine

--Marlene was available for backup consultation and brainstorming

--Dan brought his own vacuum, and agreed to leave it for my use

--Aimee reached brother Tony, and he agreed to do yardwork on Sunday

--Aimee came tonight to show me photos of the project

There may be more, but I'm too brain-weary to think of them right now!

Edited by PeacePilgrim

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What a wonderful idea for a thread, I hope you all don't mind if I join in. I have a hard time seeing positive things at the moment, and this might help. So, here goes...

1) my four year old didn't have a potty accident today, for the fourteenth day in a row. I am very proud of her.

2) I'm going to a social gathering at her school tonight even though I absolutely dread it, and would much rather stay home. This makes me feel proud of me.

3) I can't think of one, but I might be back later today to add something

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