My Wife Is Very Depressed, All She Does Is Plays Online Video Games

[beg1984 0]

My wife is very depressed(even the doctor agrees), we have had a really rough first year of marriage... most of the time she gets very angry if we dont do everything right away the way she wants it...

further more she plays these online video games all the time, she says she likes to be with the people, she even gets mad at me and usually yells things like, "What the F*** do you want?!!!" if I interupt here hours and hours of online video gaming... she lets other things in her life go so she can play this game, often even not paying attention to our 11 month old son... however if I sit down to do something she gets mad if I do not stop what I am doing right away to do whatever she wants to do.

so what should I do? I have considered turning off the internet but I can only see that making her mad, I have even considered selling our computers, but that does not seem like the answer either. I have talked with her about how it makes me feel to take second place in her life to a video game, she just sarcastically says, "Ok, whatever you say"

I really think that this is my fault, I am not the best person in the world but i do try, I just dont know what I can do

I really just do not know what to do

Edited July 30, 2010 by beg1984

[Trace 801]

(((((((((Beg)))))))))))

That is a really difficult position to be in, as this will really wear you down. It seems that she will not acknowledge that she is depressed? If she won't acknowledge it, then she may not want to try and do anything to help herself.

Is she on meds?

Could you try and talk to her and let her know how this is affecting you and perhaps suggest counseling. She sounds very trapped in her own world and her way of thinking.

Please take care of you too.

Trace

[jimbow15 531]

Hi beg1984 ,

Well I do agree with Trace. Being isolated away and playing video games online is her way of taking the focus away from her depression and it has become a bit of an obsession.

When you get a calm moment do let her know exactly how you are feeling s she does need to know what her responsibilities are and depression is not an excuse to avoid reality.

Family counselling is a great idea.

But do some straight talking with her and don't just accept a 'OK whatever you say' answer.

Best wishes

Jim Bow

[ocarina 0]

It does sound like the video games are a symptom of depression. However, I'm not sure taking the internet away will fix things - she may just find something else to latch onto and drown her feelings in.

Is she on medication? Is she in counseling? What are the doctor's recommendations? If she won't listen to you, get the doctor to back you up.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. This is NOT your fault.

[hg1940 0]

hello

for a couple of years, maybe more, I was addicted to a simulator. I could say i was in some sort of virtual life that was taking me away from the reality. I did not respond that harsh to my family but I remember that I hated to be interrupted. I even got back pain for so much time at the chair in front of the computer.

one day I somehow realized all this and also understood that it was just an illusion. took me some time. I think that if you take her to counseling she should realize it and it will be sooner her recovery

just try to make her understand. That is not real life.

Take care

[gentle sun 1,916]

You sound like a nice guy who is trying to be understanding. Even if she is depressed, that doesnt excuse her unkind behavior towards you and neglect towards your child. Certainly you both deserve respect. Maybe if she wont talk much and doesnt want to be interrupted, you could write her a letter. Leave it somewhere and tell her when she gets time you would like her to read it. Write from your heart and tell her how this makes you feel. Better use "I" statements. Just a thought.

Gentle Sun

[beg1984 0]

You sound like a nice guy who is trying to be understanding. Even if she is depressed, that doesnt excuse her unkind behavior towards you and neglect towards your child. Certainly you both deserve respect. Maybe if she wont talk much and doesnt want to be interrupted, you could write her a letter. Leave it somewhere and tell her when she gets time you would like her to read it. Write from your heart and tell her how this makes you feel. Better use "I" statements. Just a thought.

Gentle Sun

good idea