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Is It Normal To Stay In Your Bedroom All Day?


Doommantia

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I've probably spent the last two weeks in my room. I do everything except go to the toilet in here.

I really don't see any point in going out. It's cooler in here during the hot days and warmer during the cold days. I don't have a job, so I spend all day playing games, surfing the web and reading. There is really nothing I can do outside, I can't do within the comfort of my room. The only days I do go out is when I have enough motivation to go job hunting, but that's a rare occurrence. I get wound up very easily and my opinion of the public in general is a pretty low one, to say the least.

I attempted to spend the afternoon last sunday outside, so i went to the park to read a book and listen to my ipod. But I felt pathetic and that everybody was laughing at that poor lonely miserable guy on the bench, so after an hour I gave up and went home. I do have friends, but I don't ever see then anymore. Plus lack of money (none actually, all my dole money goes to my parents for keep) doesn't help the situation and limits the amount I can do.

Don't get me wrong I really want a job, and I'm not sure why I can't get motivated enough to find one. The only thing I'm really motivated about is my Army application, but I've fallen into a bit of a rut and keep putting off going to my GP to get my medical form signed and completed.

I guess my question here is, is my behaviour normal?

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Hi Doommantia,

I cannot say that it is normal to want to spend all your time in your bedroom no matter how comfortable it is. The question is what would you really love to be doing if nothing could stop you and you had the energy and motivation to do it.

What are you passionate about and would love to do regardless of the pay and conditions because you are so attracted to that way of life?

There are a lot of lonely people around who cannot go out because of illness, disability and severe crippling mental health conditions, but it sounds like you do not fit any of this criteria.

So make up your mind to see your Doctor, get the Army application rolling, exercise and change your mood by being as active as you can. It does not matter what other people may think, it matter only what you think. Do ask your Doctor to give you a thorough check as well.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

Edited by jimbow15
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Hi Doommantia,

I cannot say that it is normal to want to spend all your time in your bedroom no matter how comfortable it is. The question is what would you really love to be doing if nothing could stop you and you had the energy and motivation to do it.

What are you passionate about and would love to do regardless of the pay and conditions because you are so attracted to that way of life?

There are a lot of lonely people around who cannot go out because of illness, disability and severe crippling mental health conditions, but it sounds like you do not fit any of this criteria.

So make up your mind to see your Doctor, get the Army application rolling, exercise ans change your mood by being as active as you can. It does not matter what other people may think, it matter only what you think Do ask your Doctor to give you a thorough check as well.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

((((Doommantia))))

I agree with Jim. When I don

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I spend days not leaving the bedroom as my computer is there and I don't like to socialize. I leave to just take a "potty break" but sometimes I won't eat for a whole day or I sleep a lot or sometimes I just game to get my anger out and don't sleep enough. I hate dealing with people face to face in the outside world as they see me and they judge me.

You are not alone in not wanting to go out.. I finally got a job after 2 years and even though once I got it I regretted it only because it took me away from my room .. but after a few months I realize it is the ONLY thing that gives me purpose which is positive. It is just hard to get out there at first. I still don't like to leave but for work I have to and don't mind so much cept the getting up early part. The people I work with (they are on disability) don't judge me so it is a good fit.

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i actually spent a few years living in my bedrooms years 14- 16 i spent pretty much in my bedroom i kept heavy blankets over my window and never knew day from night i would loose track litterly of months come out of my room asking what the day was and what the month was only to go back in. i would shower maybe once a week and eat about 1 every 2-3 sometimes 5 days. of coarse i went to the bathroom but it was upstairs right across the hall there were no windows in the hall or in the bathroom. i didnt have a computer all i would do was draw or sleep or somtimes read not much else ti was very disorienting. sometimes i would feel like sleeping so i would sleep for sometimes a few hours waks up draw for an hour or so then go back to sleep sometimes i wouldnt even leave the bed just lie there and think for a few hours and fall asleep again i would wake up and not know what time it was or what day becuase sometimes ide sleep for a few days straight and then sometimes i would be awake for a few days straight. so if you can imagine that you can imagine how confusing it was.

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I am pretty new to reading the forums and how strange it is to me to envy you for being able to stay in your room. I am sure it's not healthy as far as the worlds standards are concerned and doubt I could do it for long but from my present condition it sounds somewhat appealing! I mean, if I am going to be alone anyway (and it appears that way) might as well make a little safehouse. But no, it's probably not normal, again by todays "standards".

BTW the picture of me is in my rented room with all my friends! Ha.

Edited by Rob1
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Some more woes I have.. (didn't want to fill up the forums)

I have friends, they were good friends up until recently. Due to something that went down at a party. Ever since they've left me out of everything. I haven't been out with friends, or seen any for months. I can't stand the thought of not having them in my life. I did apologise to my best mate, and we do talk over facebook and its fine. But he never invites me out or anything.

Loneliness is something I can't and will never be able to handle. I brought it on myself I realise, but I'm a firm believer in second chances. Maybe I'm over thinking it and they know because I dont have a job I couldnt afford to join them. Though it would still be nice to invite me if that's the case, regardless of my financial difficulty. Maybe I should stop relying on them to invite me and I should ask them, I know this. Though I fear rejection and if they were to say "sorry mate cant do tonight" (for example) I would worry more.

Two of them (i think) are going on holiday and they didn't even tell me. This is my best mate of 17 years we're talking about. I feel so pushed out and rejected. In the space of 18 months I've lost my friends, my mums and step dads respect, my girlfriend of 4 years, my job and my dad. (Who passed away). I'm a loser, literally. Though I know the latter one wasn't my fault.

I feel very close to the edge. People say "oh if you think negative thoughts negative things will happen" or "its karma!" its a crock of bull. I've not done 1 thing wrong in my life, never committed a crime, never hurt anybody, never done a single thing that would make me deserving of all this pain and misery.

I understand there are worse off people in the world than myself, but I can't help how I feel. I'm so angry and just wanted to vent.

Thanks for your responses and words of advice, it means a lot and it's great to think that are still some decent people still left in the world. Welcome to the forums Rob1, I wish you all the best. Though I don't understand the joke about your picture? lol

Edited by Doommantia
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  • 6 years later...

Hi, I have anxiety and I don't know how to deal with it. These past 7 months I've been stuck in my room all day. Every time I'm around my family I get anxiety, but when I stay in my room all day it comforts me. I don't like being bothered , I like being left alone all the time. I'm never able to sleep at night. I don't remember the last time I got a full night of sleep. I stay up in bed all day worrying about what's ahead of me. Every time my dad tries talking to me I wanna talk to him but I get anxiety and shut everyone out by telling them to get out my room or to leave me alone. I only get out of my room on the weekend and I find that not normal. I wanna be able to have a normal day out in the sun but I can't because of anxiety. I'm currently homeschooled but when I attended school I had anxiety 24/7 and it would cause me to not concentrate in class

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I rhink it's human nature to want to feel "safe," and your room offers you that at present.  I stay in my room a lot because it's my "apartment," as I say teasingly to my parents.  I'm living with them due to my difficult financial circumstances and my rather challenging health issues.  My room is my bedroom (bed, closet, night table), my office ([a computer desk that doubles as my vanity]) desk with computer), my living room (my docking station with which I use my ipod), my family room (television) and library (books, cds, dvds).  I make it a point to leave as often as possible, though my parents insist I spend too much time alone.

Can you take it one step at a time?  Leave for 5 minutes?  Or maybe even go outside (alone) for a walk--maybe even wear sunglasses if you're not comfortable with meeting peoples' eyes--which might make you tired enough to sleep at night.  Just a couple of ideas.  But it doesn't sound to me like you're lazy.  Just afraid, and fear can be a hard emotion to handle. 

Wishing you a warm welcome and some peace of mind --

WOTL

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That was me 6 years ago, Im more comfortable being outside now than I was then because I worked up until January this year from 2011 which meant I had to face my fear of meeting to and talking to new people on a daily basis (I worked at a busy train station in customer service, how I got that job Ill never know lol). Since Jan though Ive rarerly been going out, but I started volunteering last month at a charity shop just to get out more. I still have bad days or weeks where I just cant even get out of bed but Im better than I used to be

 

Quote

Hi, I have anxiety and I don't know how to deal with it. These past 7 months I've been stuck in my room all day. Every time I'm around my family I get anxiety, but when I stay in my room all day it comforts me. I don't like being bothered , I like being left alone all the time. I'm never able to sleep at night. I don't remember the last time I got a full night of sleep. I stay up in bed all day worrying about what's ahead of me. Every time my dad tries talking to me I wanna talk to him but I get anxiety and shut everyone out by telling them to get out my room or to leave me alone. I only get out of my room on the weekend and I find that not normal. I wanna be able to have a normal day out in the sun but I can't because of anxiety. I'm currently homeschooled but when I attended school I had anxiety 24/7 and it would cause me to not concentrate in class

Sorry you feel this way, sounds like a major social anxiety issue and I cant recommend professional help enough in dealing with it if you havent already sought any. In the meantime you could try womanofthelights advice like taking a walk around your neighbourhood for 30 minutes a day and then try to increase that overtime it will help a lot. 

Also and it might not help everybody but it helped me, online gaming. Online gaming helped me a ton when it came to talking to people as long as you dont get someone in the game who is being abusive or something which honestly is rarer than people think. I play a lot of Counter Strike and it has a reputation of having really abusive gamers but I havent come across many in my many hundreds of hours and its easy to mute them, but that games particularly great because it needs team communication and team work, I found it particularly helpful. 
 

 

Edited by Doommantia
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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 5 months later...

You know what? I don't think any of you room dwellers sound weird at all. I wish I could get 6 of you to rent rooms in my house - the perfect tenants! What I do consider weird is people that like to run around trying to define what is normal behavior for everyone to adhere by. TO ME THEY ARE THE REAL BUSYBODY WEIRDOS!

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  • 4 years later...

Plenty of people accomplish great things from their bedrooms. Proust wrote his greatest fiction in his bedroom. Mozart composed in his bedroom. Emily Brontë wrote Wuthering Heights in her bedroom. Martin Luther ended the Middle Ages from his bedroom. Florence Nightingale did most of her work in her bedroom. Larry Page founded Google in his bedroom and the first two years he ran it from there. Justin Bieber launched his career from his bedroom. Find something amazing to do in your bedroom. If it is where you feel safest, it is where you can be greatest. Success breeds success and maybe one day you can leave your bedroom, but there is nothing preventing you doing great things there.

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This is my world right now as my bedroom is now my office also since I work from home and there isn’t anywhere else in the house with adequate space for my work setup. I have no social life, friends or hobbies so I just sit in my room for long periods of time drowning in self pity.

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