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r90

Bpd & Full-time Jobs

BPD & Work   81 members have voted

  1. 1. People with BPD, Do you work?

    • No, I don't work
      38
    • Yes, a part-time job
      18
    • Yes, a full-time job
      25

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64 posts in this topic

Posted (edited) · Report post  

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As a BPD sufferer, do you work? If yes, a part-time or a full-time job?

Part of my research on BPD, being a BPD sufferer and being a part-time worker, I started to notice that people with BPD can't work for a full-time, because of "that" unexplained symptom of BPD.

r90

Edited by r90

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Posted · Report post  

As a BPD sufferer, do you work? If yes, a part-time or a full-time job?

Part of my research on BPD, being a BPD sufferer and being a part-time worker, I started to notice that people with BPD can't work for a full-time, because of "that" unexplained sympton of BPD.

r90

Hi r90,

That is a good question. I'm 33 and I always worked full time until last year. Admittedly last year and the year before I had approx 3 months off due to symptoms.

I now work three days a week for 6 hours a day. It suits me a lot better. I am also a single Mum so add that into the equation I still feel as though I 'work' full time.

What sort of hours do you work r90?

Girly

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

Oh may God help you, being a single mother is a full-time job by itself :)

I also work 3 days a week, however the number of hours is not fixed, ranging between 6 to 12 hours, but usually 9 hours... But if I were asked to work an extra day, I'd say no way that's going to happen, I just can't :( I guess it's because of that "unknown symptom title" of BPD

Edited by r90

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Posted · Report post  

Oh may God help you, being a single mother is a full-time job by itself :)

I also work 3 days a week, however the number of hours is not fixed, ranging between 6 to 12 hours, but usually 9 hours... But if I were asked to work an extra day, I'd say no way that's going to happen, I just can't :( I guess it's because of that "unknown symptom title" of BPD

LoL r90 you made me smile re being a single Mum.

I know what you mean, since being part-time I've thought if they asked me to do any extra I'd say no. My work have been incredibly understanding with me, letting me reduce my hours and go part-time, something they very,very rarely do as well as letting me change my days off due to therapy etc. So I am very fortunate in that respect.

Girly

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

I worked full time (50-55 hours a week) for 4 years before I was diagnosed. All those hours on no sleep, and I had to be manic every day to handle to stress of the job. It got to the point at the end of the 4 years that once I got my diagnosis, my employer unofficially gave me 6 weeks (until the end of my contract) to get 'better' or they wouldn't renew it. I quit. And made it very well known to my customers why I was leaving. There were so many official complaints and that manager only lasted a month before he quit.

My GP will not let me work full time. And I'm having trouble getting casual work because I'm 'overqualified'.

ETA

I'm currently not working, but studying part time.

Edited by Chasing Sanity

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Posted · Report post  

I'm employed as a teacher (full time) but I haven't been to work since February. I was very good at my job, but I have a tendency to give way too much of myself to the job, never saying 'no' and always going the extra mile; the harder I work, the less other people do and the more unsupported & alone I feel. I end up feeling like I'm carrying the world on my shoulders and I can't stand up. After 3 depressive episodes/BPD crises triggered by my jobs, I've realised I can't cope with working full time.

I'm still on sick leave (though on half pay now) but when it runs out, I have no intention of returning full time. I think 3 days a week is the max I'm going to do now. I need to build 'me time' into my week so that I force myself to switch off & relax. I'm going to start by getting a little Westie & going for very long walks on my days off :shocked:

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Posted · Report post  

Hello! Just thought I'd add to your post :)

I find I really enjoy working because it keeps me busy. I feel trapped though and restless. I hate that I HAVE to be somewhere for a set amout of time. I went to a university full time for three years (with mixed results). Then I worked part-time for almost a year. The biggest problem I had was that I didn't get along with my coworkers. First I was too helpful and nice, so I was called a "pushover." Then I started standing up for myself so I was a "b***h." People thought I was really stuck up. Pshh I would rather scrub poop off the bathroom walls then chit chat with most of the women there.

I got fired and haven't worked for over a year. I definitely want to do the part time thing again if I can make ends meet.

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Posted · Report post  

"The biggest problem I had was that I didn't get along with my coworkers."

Indeed, this was my major problem at work, and I couldn't stop myself getting into daily fights!! Thank you for your contribution =)

r90

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Posted · Report post  

I am presently working full-time. I suppose my bp depression is what keeps me thinking I'm not up to par. That people are talking about me. That I'll be fired soon. I've had NO discussion with any management to make feel this way- it's truly all in my head. I have recently asked to move my workspace. I am currently right by 3 management offices and every conversation I hear, unless they whisper or s*** door. Then I think it's surely about me! I know how'd I get soo important lol. I am telling my manager tomorrow where I'd like to move. I hope I'm right in my pick.

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Posted · Report post  

I am presently working full-time. I suppose my bp depression is what keeps me thinking I'm not up to par. That people are talking about me. That I'll be fired soon. I've had NO discussion with any management to make feel this way- it's truly all in my head. I have recently asked to move my workspace. I am currently right by 3 management offices and every conversation I hear, unless they whisper or s*** door. Then I think it's surely about me! I know how'd I get soo important lol. I am telling my manager tomorrow where I'd like to move. I hope I'm right in my pick.

Good luck with that and keep us updated =)

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Posted · Report post  

Well I asked my manager and she seemed to understand. Here it is 9 days later and I heard nothing, so I asked about it. She said she went to HR and HR asked the top dog and I was denied. That infuriated me. First if she had an answer why did I have to go back for it, why didn't she tell me. Second I don't understand their reasoning of why not. I don't believe the top dog was told why. I think it was played off to him as I just wanted to move. The lady in HR and I are not very supportive of each other.

So, after hearing that today, I asked my manager if I should speak to top dog myself. She said no it's not a good time. Wait until he cones back from his long vacation in oct. Huh, what's that mean?

I went to the partner above my manager and explained why I wish to be moved. He seemed very understanding. He said he'd find out if there were other reasons or not.

Did I screw-up? Going above my managers head? We have lots of empty desks as they plan to grow quite a bit. When they first moved me into the spot I'm in, I requested a change and they said no. Mainly because another girl was b****ing about where she was moved too and they told me to try it out because of that other issue.

I'm angry, nah, not angry I'm mad about this.once again I've got all the negative thoughts running overtime. I mean why would they let me move if they are setting up to fire me? They really don't want me to get better. I swear I'd look for a new job but I am malady a great salary and cannot get this as a starting wage anywhere else. I just bought a house. Which I think I overdid that too. I bought much more garden than I can handle! Lol, it's true

I hope all are doing well. A good night sleep will help my issues.

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Posted · Report post  

Hey Jeanya61! Hope you're better at this moment...

I am sorry about this awful experience you had, I hope things get better soon, if you had to choose between staying in the current situation and being fired ? I guess staying is better, anyway good luck =)

r90

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Posted · Report post  

Not if firing happens down the road. And actually I have no reason to believe I am getting fired. It's that low self-esteem talking. I haven't felt worthy of my job for almost 2 years now.

Thanks for responding r90. I've yet to speak to r88 ha ha

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

I did 20 years in the military. I barely made it. By my 13th year my borderline was making things difficult. By my 17th year i was down to a couple days a month. I made it to 20 and got my retirement.

Now I'm finding it difficult to get thru each day. Some days i wake up from nightmares feeling suicidal for hours or days at a time. Only thing I've found to get myself out of it is to self harm.

Then I'll have a couple good days and think "Oh, I'm OK. I can go get a job now. I'll start looking tomorrow". Then the cycle starts over again.

So right now I'm in limbo. :(

Edited by Girly
Triggering content

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Posted · Report post  

I did 20 years in the military. I barely made it. By my 13th year my borderline was making things difficult. By my 17th year i was down to a couple days a month. I made it to 20 and got my retirement.

Now I'm finding it difficult to get thru each day. Some days i wake up from nightmares feeling suicidal for hours or days at a time. Only thing I've found to get myself out of it is to self harm.

Then I'll have a couple good days and think "Oh, I'm OK. I can go get a job now. I'll start looking tomorrow". Then the cycle starts over again.

So right now I'm in limbo. :(

Hi there AricB,

Welcome to DF :welcomeani: it is good to have you here.

It is amazing that you were able to get through 20 years in the military with BPD, tht is some achievement.

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling so much at the moment :console: are you currently on meds or receiving any therapy to help with the BPD? Don't try and push yourself into finding a new full time job, could you consider doing volunteer work for a few hours a week or do you think even that would be too much at the moment?

Take good care,

Girly

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

Hello AricB,

I'm sorry things are so difficult for you. I want to tell you that you do have the strength to get through these hard times. If you survived 20 years in the military (wow!), Aric, you are stronger than you're giving yourself credit for. You will get through this and things will get better.

I speak from experience. My illness has prevented me from working, but I did regain my life in other areas. You will to. Take one moment at a time, Aric. Lean on us for support.

Are you seeing a doc? Taking meds? In therapy?

Hang in there. It will get better.

:hugs:

~Bean

Edited by Beanchop99

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

20 years, wow! :bow: I can only imagine the amount of inner strength and courage one would need to have to endure that long in such a demanding and strict enviroment. I think you have a whole lot to be proud of. :nod:

And what Girly said about volunteering sounds like it could be worth a try. I've been out of work for over a year cos my last job just tore me apart and feels like maybe even sapped much of my strength to work again but my therapist recommended me to try volunteering so I gave it a shot. I started volunteering at my local humane society once a week helping to walk their dogs and it has offered me some much needed activity and distraction (I can relate to how they probably feel being "locked up" most of the time). Otherwise I'd just be stuck at home all day every day which I know would just add to my frustration and lead to a lot of agitated depression that I'm prone to.

Edited by lithium_trip

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Posted · Report post  

I work full time as a nurse...3 twelve hour shifts....If I could afford it, I would cut back....having a mental illness and trying to work has been extremely hard on me. I am only 25 and know that I wont qualify for disability....but sometimes, I really wish I would....Anyone else feel this way???

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Posted · Report post  

I work a part-time job (between 8-16 hours, depending on how busy) in a bar (as well as full-time education). I find it helps in some ways, such as keeping my head busy with little time to think about various worrying things that make me angry or sad, but at the same time, it means when I do crash, I tend to crash harder because I'm physically and mentall exhausted. It's also intensified and made more frequent the migraines I have (which usually appear when my mood deflates).

But I think not having to worry about money is a lot of my mind.

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Posted · Report post  

It's my final year of high school and nothing career or university wise interests me. I want to go to university but that's only to feel normal.

Everyone use to say i had a lot of potential, but i never tried so i guess they just stopped believing that. My mum makes me feel like a failure all the time. So at the moment everyone thinks i'm an *****, I think im an ***** and right now my end of school predictions pretty much mean i'm an *****. It's really hard to put effort into things like school because i just can't find a reason to try, so i leave everything to the last moment and they turn out crap. I see people who can do schoolwork as they please and i think "why can't i do that?". It's hard to gather effort to work toward a goal that you can't see or imagine.

Everyone i talk to about this says it's all up to me, but I'm not a reliable person.

Is there help or am i just screwed?

(i didn't taint the poll results as i am still at school.)

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Posted · Report post  

I'm glad somebody asked the question. I voted no I do not work because most of the time I don't. Every blue moon I sub at the high school because it's easy and there is a planning period where I can gather myself together to put up with the next batch of rowdy teenagers. Honestly, I have not been able to hold a steady full time job all of my life. Even a part time job was a stretch. It's hard to explain. I would start off doing fine. After about a month or two something inside me would tell me, you can't do this. You hate this. Why are you here. Get out of here now! I would cry before I went to work, be angry and depressed for reasons I still do not know, and only feel relief when the shift was over. I started working when I was 15, and until my therapist told me I had bpd, I had no idea why I could not keep a job. I was only fired once in all my years working. All the other times I quit because I couldn't take it anymore. Now here we are in need of money and the fear is back. The anxiety is back. The system calls me to work and I turn down every job, and I am in college working towards a degree to work with children! I feel like I lost my courage, I lost whatever held me together last year to where I worked more than a few assignments. I can't afford a therapist anymore. I just restarted taking my meds so I hope in time I will feel better, more together.

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Posted (edited) · Report post  

Hi! I have BPD and currently work full-time, although I've already had a month off this year due to hospitalizations.

I am considering going Part-Time as I am really struggling :o(

Edited by biddle__

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Posted · Report post  

I was laid off from my job a little over 2 years ago. At first it was very stressful because I felt the pressure to pull in an income along with my husband - you know, "pull my own weight". It was impossible for me to even land a response to my emails/resume due to the economy, so I gave up. I have a little online store that doesn't rake in much, but it seems to be enough to satisfy my husband. I use the money to pay for our date nights. It turns out I could not be more relieved to be out of the office environment. I just could not handle it well; I would get distracted easily with gossip, and I couldn't concentrate on my work. Also, I had used all my sick days AND most of my vacation days as "mental health" days. I needed so much time off. :mellow: The only stress I deal with now is being diligent about paying my COBRA and when that runs out, hoping the transition to HIPAA will go smoothly this year.

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Firstly, I appreciated reading everyone's shares on this topic. I've been very curious about this exact question.

Personally, I work full-time. I am part owner of a new company with 4 partners, and the description of my job when I signed on is nothing like what I actually do. Working 55+ hours weekly is absolutely draining, and although I have some Dialectical Behavioral Therapy under my belt, I feel that I'm regressing. I pictured myself being able to work mostly from home with minimal travel and instead I have been on assignment for almost two months and forced into a sales role. Sales are great if the sales person can handle rejection, but BPD has me unequipped in that area. Needless to say, I'm on my last fuse with this venture. I don't want to quit, but I don't know if there is another position for me if not this one.

In the past, my work was almost always part-time and if it progressed to full-time, I quickly became overwhelmed and left. The same goes for my school career. Everytime this happens, I feel guilt and shame, even though I understand that it's a reflection of the disorder, not me. When enough time has passed, I'm ready to take on the world again and get in over my head. That's where I am now; treading water for dear life, and I don't think this is how I deserve to feel every day.

At the crossroads, once again...

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Posted · Report post  

I am currently unemployed and have been for the past 5 months. Before that I was working part time in a book shop - but battled to keep it together because I was constantly having symptoms flaring up. I am finding it very difficult to find a new job now - and it may be because my last one was such a disaster. I feel like such a failure because my boyfriend is currently supporting both of us and I feel like a sponge. I hate being dependent on others. All I want in the world is to open my own art gallery/coffee shop combined, but I haven't got the finances to open my own business. But I do need something that is flexible to my moods - because I am doing very badly in the depression department. Most days I don't even get out of my pajamas...

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