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I Dont Know What To Do With Myself...


bergzero

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Hey Berg, when I was a teen I also longed for a relationship and it was sooo elusive. I was depressed over my own family's abnormal, dysfunctional situation and now looking back I see that I thought that falling in love would be an escape. It is, but that is NOT the basis of a good relationship. In fact, I escaped pain only to find greater pain, and while there was some kind of strange relief in that and a sense of control, how I wish I had just tried to BE the kind of person I wanted to be rather than look for that in someone else.

Your situation will NOT last forever. I know a few months seems a lifetime when you're a teenager, but it WILL pass and you will have more control over your own life and decisions in the future. If you want to be certain things in the future, take an interest now. I.e., save up and buy a set of drum practice pads and sticks and look for free lessons on the internet, or jam along with your favorite songs on headphones. If you are interested in meteorology visit your nearest radio or tv station and try to meet with the meteorologist there. Find out what schooling you need, what will help you, maybe even where to find scholarships.

None of this is big bucks... I know what it is like to be poor, and how frustrating it can be. God bless.

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Hey Berg, when I was a teen I also longed for a relationship and it was sooo elusive. I was depressed over my own family's abnormal, dysfunctional situation and now looking back I see that I thought that falling in love would be an escape. It is, but that is NOT the basis of a good relationship. In fact, I escaped pain only to find greater pain, and while there was some kind of strange relief in that and a sense of control, how I wish I had just tried to BE the kind of person I wanted to be rather than look for that in someone else.

Your situation will NOT last forever. I know a few months seems a lifetime when you're a teenager, but it WILL pass and you will have more control over your own life and decisions in the future. If you want to be certain things in the future, take an interest now. I.e., save up and buy a set of drum practice pads and sticks and look for free lessons on the internet, or jam along with your favorite songs on headphones. If you are interested in meteorology visit your nearest radio or tv station and try to meet with the meteorologist there. Find out what schooling you need, what will help you, maybe even where to find scholarships.

None of this is big bucks... I know what it is like to be poor, and how frustrating it can be. God bless.

Do I have to take action now though to become a meterologist? Like start make preparations and stuff for it? And if I don't soon am I completely screwed?

Edited by bergzero
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my thoughts are that rarely do people ever find themselves a mature, intelligent, and beautiful bombshell girl (or gorgeous guy) who is capable of making all your sadness and depression dissappear... let alone the fact that we're talking about teenagers in highschool.

most of all the crap about highschool sweethearts that are involved in supposedly fulfilling and long-lasting relationships akin to whatever new melodramatic teenage drama show may be currently popular, is indeed largely based on fiction.

But!... aside from all that... relationships are tough work. They are stressful. They are demanding. They require trust, patience, understanding, maturity, commitment, not to mention time... time which, in my personal opinion, would be better spent on introspection. Meaning you'd be better off (in the long run) finding yourself, finding some form of treatment for that self, and figuring out what kind career and lifestyle that self would find the most enjoyable for the long-lasting and fulfilling life that that self has ahead of it. Worrying about how you're gonna embark on any romantic endeaver while you're still struggling to get both feet on the merry-go-round is usually a bad idea.

But heck. What do I know? After all, I'm here.

Godspeed friend.

I already know what my career will be. I'm planning on going to college and becoming a meterologist or stormchaser. I just don't know if I can accomplish it or not. I might not have the money to go to college (assuming my family is screwed for life and are homeless and broke forever), I hate where I live and want to go to college in a different area (not to far away but away from where I live to a good extent), but that makes a college situation tougher in my opinion. If meterology is not for me I will be a drummer instead. That's my backup. After all, I've heard drummers get all the chicks! (that's not the reason why.)

See my other thread for more details.

Actually, the experienced, confident, compassionate guys get all the chicks. Once you're there, they'll come to you. I still thinks its better to worry about fixing yourself before you try to bring another person into your life. No girl can "fix" you. Nor would they want to. Only you can fix you. And I swear, when and if you do, you won't be able to get away from them.

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck.

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my thoughts are that rarely do people ever find themselves a mature, intelligent, and beautiful bombshell girl (or gorgeous guy) who is capable of making all your sadness and depression dissappear... let alone the fact that we're talking about teenagers in highschool.

most of all the crap about highschool sweethearts that are involved in supposedly fulfilling and long-lasting relationships akin to whatever new melodramatic teenage drama show may be currently popular, is indeed largely based on fiction.

But!... aside from all that... relationships are tough work. They are stressful. They are demanding. They require trust, patience, understanding, maturity, commitment, not to mention time... time which, in my personal opinion, would be better spent on introspection. Meaning you'd be better off (in the long run) finding yourself, finding some form of treatment for that self, and figuring out what kind career and lifestyle that self would find the most enjoyable for the long-lasting and fulfilling life that that self has ahead of it. Worrying about how you're gonna embark on any romantic endeaver while you're still struggling to get both feet on the merry-go-round is usually a bad idea.

But heck. What do I know? After all, I'm here.

Godspeed friend.

I already know what my career will be. I'm planning on going to college and becoming a meterologist or stormchaser. I just don't know if I can accomplish it or not. I might not have the money to go to college (assuming my family is screwed for life and are homeless and broke forever), I hate where I live and want to go to college in a different area (not to far away but away from where I live to a good extent), but that makes a college situation tougher in my opinion. If meterology is not for me I will be a drummer instead. That's my backup. After all, I've heard drummers get all the chicks! (that's not the reason why.)

See my other thread for more details.

Actually, the experienced, confident, compassionate guys get all the chicks. Once you're there, they'll come to you. I still thinks its better to worry about fixing yourself before you try to bring another person into your life. No girl can "fix" you. Nor would they want to. Only you can fix you. And I swear, when and if you do, you won't be able to get away from them.

Just my 2 cents.

Good luck.

I was sorta joking about drummers getting all the chicks. And what do you mean I won't be able to get away from them? Girls?

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yeah I was referring to chix

and kudos for the musical ambitions. music/art can be an excellent outlet... and at times, it may be the -only- outlet. I'd go so far as to say that I probably wouldn't be alive right now if I never had it as an outlet myself. Seems kinda cheesy to think that strumming on a guitar and singing your heart out could make such a difference, but its the one constant thing in my life that I can always rely on... music is one of the few outlets that allow you to channel all of your worries, fears, and anxieties into something positive.

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yeah I was referring to chix

and kudos for the musical ambitions. music/art can be an excellent outlet... and at times, it may be the -only- outlet. I'd go so far as to say that I probably wouldn't be alive right now if I never had it as an outlet myself. Seems kinda cheesy to think that strumming on a guitar and singing your heart out could make such a difference, but its the one constant thing in my life that I can always rely on... music is one of the few outlets that allow you to channel all of your worries, fears, and anxieties into something positive.

True.

And I keep having dreams about the upcoming schoolyear.

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yeah I was referring to chix

and kudos for the musical ambitions. music/art can be an excellent outlet... and at times, it may be the -only- outlet. I'd go so far as to say that I probably wouldn't be alive right now if I never had it as an outlet myself. Seems kinda cheesy to think that strumming on a guitar and singing your heart out could make such a difference, but its the one constant thing in my life that I can always rely on... music is one of the few outlets that allow you to channel all of your worries, fears, and anxieties into something positive.

And when you say I once I "fix myself" and get more confident and then not being able to get away from girls does this apply to all confident guys? Even ones that look extremely dorky? Or do I just have something special, but am just too depressed to show it?

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Also, I've been thinking about those three years (age 12-15) of being homeschooled.....not great to be honest, and having pretty much no one around.....and losing tons of social skills. And at my school the middle school everyone says was a great experience. I left in the middle of my last year at lower school(or elementary as some call it but not really) and came back 3 years later (last december) in the high school. It feels so weird. I don't have any problems with my teachers, it's just students that sometimes intimidate me. At the lowerschool I did pretty well social wise. Now....I consider myself a wreck. I imagine if I didn't move, and stayed through the middle school, I would have even broken completely out of my shell and have done even better (even in the good old days of 5 years ago I was somewhat quiet in class). This depresses me sometimes. Especially since I am considered one of the higher level students in the high school. I don't feel like it at all. I even feel like I'm starting to hate my school.

All that on top of being homeless, family problems, non stop thinking about loneliness and relationships, pressure, my future.....man I feel terrible!!!

Edited by bergzero
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Personally I still struggle a LOT with making friends and relationships with (in my case) guys. I never once "hooked up," or dated anyone in high school or belonged to any click. I still don't have any close friends but once you are out of high school belonging to a click really doesn't matter much anymore. People told me that too when I was in high school and I never really believed them but I found that is really what happens. Myself and other girls I know really don't care how many friends a guy has if we are interested in them. I just look at how he treats others. So by all means, you don't have to be friends with them, but many more girls will notice if you are at least nice to the geeks/nerds and every other type of person you come in contact with.

As far a preparing for your future job I'm not sure what you exactly can do to become a meteorologist but just having job history will always work for you. I have been working since i was 15 (im 21) and, even though most jobs I have had and the job I am hoping to have don't exactly realate to each other, I have a very high success rate of getting work. Work isn't exactly fun but it definitely takes my mind off of my lonelyness and sadness. Its nice having something I HAVE to concentrate on other than my feelings 24/7. Its like a break. You would also be able to start saving so when you do turn 18 you could look at getting a small apartment so you wouldn't feel as low because you live in a "borrowed" house.

I hope some of this helped and I wish you the best of luck!

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((((((((((Bergzero)))))))))

There is no place like DF, everyone is very understanding, kind of like our own little family. I am sorry that another board is not treating you with the respect that you deserve.

Trace

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((((((((((Bergzero)))))))))

There is no place like DF, everyone is very understanding, kind of like our own little family. I am sorry that another board is not treating you with the respect that you deserve.

Trace

It isn't a big deal, plus, some of the advice is useful.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Found out about my school schedule. Don't have the same homeroom teacher as last year which sucks because she was pretty cool. Also teacher I have this year sometimes can be confusing. Don't know if I'm ready. Especially proving myself. It might be harder to break out of the shell with my homeroom teacher around this year. She is a lot less patient than my one last year.

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Hi bergzero,

True, it doesn't. However, it is always better to have tried and failed than not tried at all, particularly where hope is concerned.

And I don't mean that as an empty platitude or rote saying, I truly do believe it.

Hircon

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Today I started school. As I expected, the two guys that hate me and some of my friends are in my class. But I was planning on talking more and breaking out of my shell. I didn't really do that today. I figure it was because I was dead tired. I only got 2 hours of sleep or so. I don't know if I'm ready.....

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Hi Bergzero

Take each day as it comes. I think it is great that you want to start talking more, but take it slowly, the more pressure you put on yourself, the more you will become overwhelmed.

Trace

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  • 11 years later...
  • 2 weeks later...

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