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Mr_Teeth

I Have A Thought Disorder.

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I wasn't sure where to post this, so if there is a better place for this post please let me know. :shocked:

Alrighty then. Here's the problem, guys...

After many months of testing my diagnostician has come to the conclusion that I have a thought disorder. We don't know what type yet but we should know in a couple of weeks after I undergo my sleep study and complete a few other tests.

One of the major symptoms my doc noticed was thought derailment. Evidently I switch from one topic to another with no real reason motivating it. As a matter of fact, I never know when I do this, but it is evidently apparent to others.

I am very worried that my condition has impaired my ability to effectively communicate with others, and that my thought and speech patterns will only worsen over time.

I've lost some cognitive abilities. For that I am certain, and I am terrified TBH. I am so lonely even though I have several close friends who are accepting of my condition. I just feel like I'm in a world of my own most of the time despite being around those I love. Every day is the same to me. I don't get excited over anything, nor do I get sad when I receive bad news; I just get angry and recede into myself.

I have perpetual visual hallucinations (floaters, hazy vision, walls look fuzzy, etc.), but no audible ones. Even so, they are distracting to say the least. I also have chronic nightmares full mostly of Eraserhead-type psychotic imagery.

I'm on mood stabilizers now, and they help a bit, but I don't think I'll ever get back to baseline. Besides, the mood stabilizers I take only level me out (as they are advertised to do. lol.). I am never happy, which is what I desire more than anything. But if I can't communicate with others (or, more importantly, with myself) what is left? I would have no reason to live. Thought disorders are like cancers of the mind. If I don't get proper treatment soon my sickness will only progress.

For those who have suffered through similar situations what should I do? Will my visual hallucinations ever go away? Will I ever get back to baseline? I just want to be normal again. Please help... I am so scared and alone.

If you have any questions please don't hesitate to ask.

Thank you.

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I don't know much about thought disorders, tbh I haven't heard of them before although maybe I have a mild form of it, I do jump from one conversation to another sometimes yet other times I'll stay on the same subject for hours.

But what I was thinking is that there is something called cognitive therapy which I think teaches you how to challenge your thought processes. Also there might be mental exercises you can do to keep your cognitive processes from deteriotating. Again I can only speak from my own experience but when I left school I kind of stopped using my brain, I was just depressed all the time and it was like my brain slowed down and I couldn't do anything. Then I started online courses and at first I couldn't retain any information but now I retain information pretty well and I'm actually getting back to the sorts of test results I was getting lbefore I started to feel depressed.

One thing I am sure about though is that your diagnostician knows about thought disorders so I'm sure he/she will also know how best to help you. It could be therapy, it could be different meds that do a bit more tan the mood stabiliser, maybe it will be something completely different I haven't heard of.

I hope this helps a bit but if not, at least it bumps your topic back to the top of the page.

Baley xx

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Dr_Teeth-

"Thought Disorder"? I'm not fond of this terminology as it's somewhat stigmatizing as it is so broad and draws no conclusions, especially on the part of a "professional". This is more specifically a "schizoeffective disorder", or more commonly known as "schizophrenia". The individual variations can swing wildly. Best news is that there are generally accepted and proven treatments. Then again, perhaps your mental health professional is trying to "protect" you from something.....like THE NEWS of your diagnosis. I just still don't even feel good about that either.

I understand your concerns, and am totally sympathetic. These types of psychotic disorders can be difficult to diagnose, and can be difficult to trea,t as there are so many "types" and so many medications.

My thinking is that you should just seek out the best and the brightest of MH professionals for treatment, and understand that relief may not come instantly. Find a doc you trust, and follow the advice given.

Warmest Regards,

Deepster

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Dr_Teeth-

"Thought Disorder"? I'm not fond of this terminology as it's somewhat stigmatizing as it is so broad and draws no conclusions, especially on the part of a "professional". This is more specifically a "schizoeffective disorder", or more commonly known as "schizophrenia". The individual variations can swing wildly. Best news is that there are generally accepted and proven treatments. Then again, perhaps your mental health professional is trying to "protect" you from something.....like THE NEWS of your diagnosis. I just still don't even feel good about that either.

I understand your concerns, and am totally sympathetic. These types of psychotic disorders can be difficult to diagnose, and can be difficult to trea,t as there are so many "types" and so many medications.

My thinking is that you should just seek out the best and the brightest of MH professionals for treatment, and understand that relief may not come instantly. Find a doc you trust, and follow the advice given.

Warmest Regards,

Deepster

I've seen at least a dozen psychiatrists and have been diagnosed with many different disorders, but have never been properly treated. Some of these doctors were indeed very unethical in their practices.

However, now I'm at a very, very nice clinic and see a team of doctors who have been testing and studying me intensely in order to find out what's really going on in my brain. I trust these doctors. There are none more reputable in my state or the surrounding area. They are among the elite, and I can tell you from first hand experience that they do not tolerate even the slightest mistake in practice. As a matter of fact the clinic's intake coordinator was immediately fired after she accidentally set me up with a therapist too early in my treatment process... even though it was my own mother who requested the appointment to begin with. If I can be frank... This place is the s***.

I seriously doubt that these doctors would try to "protect" me by hiding my diagnosis, which would not "protect" me at all. They realize that I want to know exactly what is wrong with me, but the fact remains that all the information required to paint an accurate picture of my illness is not yet available to them. They still need quite a bit of information from my previous doctors (notes, charts, test results, etc.) as well as further testing with me at the clinic, so my saying that I have a "thought disorder" was probably a little presumptuous. This is simply the condition my diagnostician is heavily leaning towards at the moment. It's not set in stone by any means. I could have an autism spectrum disorder or severe depression for example. Many disorders exhibit psychotic symptoms identical to those I experience, so I apologize for stating that I have a "thought disorder" as if it were a fact. It's really all up in the air at the moment, and no, I seriously doubt that my doctors would intentionally feed me false or misleading information regarding my illness.

As to my current state...

I'm on Trileptal now, along with a low dose of Seroquel XR at night and clonazepam in the morning and at night, and they do help. I am no longer as paranoid as I once was and am not suicidal anymore, with the exception of a few minutes after I wake up from my nightmares, but after I swallow my meds I stabilize. Hopefully once I'm officially diagnosed I'll start taking antipsychotics or other meds and possibly start talk therapy in order to treat my condition more effectively.

Thank you so much for your concerns and your good wishes.

Other questions or comments are more than welcome.

Edited by Dr_Teeth

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