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Hi I'm new, Im a 25 Year old male, having had deression since my teens. I have problems with alcohol, and have missed a lot of work lately for that reason. I take fluox. I have been having problems with the alcohol for about four years. I am feeling the derpression badly lately, and have come to stay with my family. I have been in meetings with the boss last week, and will no doubt have disciplinary action for not working on friday. I don't really know what to do with myself and could use some friends at the moment.

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A very warm :hearts: to everyone who's recently joined. DF is a very supportive community. I hope you'll all find this a useful place. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all a bit better! See you around...

Be well...

Luv,

Autumn :bump:

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Hello all,

I'm very glad to have found this forum. I'm a 25 year old female and was recently diagnosed with major depression. I was prescribed 50mgs of zoloft daily, but have not yet begun to take the medication. I am trying to treat my depression with other mechanisms before I go to medication. I have been battling depression for six years or so. About five years ago I started to get better, but I have recently begun to spiral again. I also suffer from obsessive compulsive disorder and have done so since I was 7 or 8 years old. My doctor has suggested I be assessed for bipolar disorder, but I've not yet done much about that.

Nice to meet you all.

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A very warm :hearts: to everyone who's recently joined. DF is a very supportive community. I hope you'll all find this a useful place. I'm looking forward to getting to know you all a bit better! See you around...

Be well...

Luv,

Autumn :bump:

Thanks for the warm welcome. I'm glad this place exists. Someone in an earlier post referred to it "my own kind" or something like that. That's exactly how I'm feeling right now. No one I know seems to care or even try to care about finding out about depression. I don't expect sympathy just understanding. All I get is judgement because I'm taking meds. Just yesterday my 20 year old daughter says to me "why do you take medicine? Why can't you just live your life like everyone else and deal with it? Your medicine has side effects so how is it really helping you? Your doctor is just making you a drug addict. I also get this from my husband. If I didn't have responsibilites at home (children still at home) I would have left. I'm so tired of being judged and labeled and no one taking the time to understand what the real truth is. :shocked:

Ok, maybe that will make me feel better getting that out. :shocked:

I look forward to getting to know everyone here. Hopefully we can all help each other and grow friendships.

Cheryl

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Cheryl,

I am sorry to say it is very difficult for people that haven't experienced depression to understand it. It has always run in my family and I was in denial for many years. I even work in the mental health field. A lot of people think it is like you can just drink a cup of coffee and come out of your funk. Try to be strong and when you need the support get on line and it will help you understand a little more. Mental illness is one of the most miunderstood illnesses there are. There is no plaster cast or bandaid for the boo-boo.

My depression was passed on to my 20 Y/O son and he understands. unfortunately because of my medication for epilepsy I am not able to take any medication for my depression so it makes mine all the more challenging. Don't give up and be sure you talk to people, therapist etc. and here. Make sure you do not allow yourself to shut in on yourself. That is the worst you can do.

If you ever need to chat with me feel free I work crazy hours but I will be happy to answer your questions and if you just need to blow off steam that is ok too. Just PM me and I will be happy to answer ok.

Keep talking,

Slim, Tim :hearts:

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hi...

i'm 18 years old and i've been suffering from depression since i was 10. i was in a hospital because of a suicide attempt about a year and a half ago and i was on medications for quite a while. but now i'm off medications (for about 8 months) and i don't have any therapies. everybody thinks i'm really better but i'm not. and i dont want to talk about my depression because i don't want my family and friends to worry about me. i think that it's better for them (and me aswell) if they don't know what's really going on with me.

but i feel like crap.

love*

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So many new folks have joined us since the last time I visited this room! Welcome to all of you. We do understand where you are at - we are all struggling with depression and related problems. Even if you are in the deepest pit right now, don't give up. You can and WILL feel better. Please read around here and jump in on any topics that interest you. There is so much caring and support.

We are glad you are here! Welcome to DF!

Karen

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I am joining this forum to see what I can find to help me with my wife.

My wife has achieved many things, but is still depressed.

1) A University Degree (double-major)

2) A Teaching Degree

3) Married her high-school sweetheart (me)

4) Bought her own home (with me)

5) Paid off the mortgage (totally debt-free)

6) Many overseas holidays (including Europe and the tropics)

7) Ideal Job ( low hours / high wages )

8) Has overseas investments and is financially well-off

Here are her symptoms from (from another website)

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Hi to all the other Newbies,

It is nice to see you younger folks seeking help. This type of help was not around when I was younger, we were not to talk about those things. I think it is great that this forum is available to organize your thoughts and help make sense of what is going on in your life. Especially when you know you are not alone.

The most important thing is to keep talking to people, visit the websites and get help. Don't stuff things inside so that they start coming out when you get older like me. They do not go away they sill just show up in different problems.

You have taken the first step but get involved in life as best as you can. :hearts:

Hope to see you on the Forum

Slim

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Hello Optimist,

Don't give up the ship, or at least on your wife, I have many of the same things in my background as does she except I and a male. Does it make a difference- maybe, maybe not. One suggestion I may give you when my wife was starting on the long journey of peri-menopause is she heard about a book from her gyno that is called " What your doctor may not tell you about MENOPAUSE", The Breakthrough Book on Natural Hormone Balance, By: John R. Lee, M.D. I t can be found in health food stores as well as Barnes and Noble etc. It may answer alot of her questions and yours. WARNING: be very careful how you go about approaching this subject. It can be very touchy for women. There is one on peri-menopause also but it is not quite as good. My wife was having heart palpitations from the chemistry changes and the depression was kicking in big time. After she read the book she started to understand what was going on with her body and calmed down a little. We still have our rough days but we do it together.

I don't want you to think I am some Herb natural food freak- far from it but the book may help and if it does that would be wonderful.

Just remember what I said about treading lightly on how to approach the subject. It sounds like things are a little stressed already so I don't want to add any fuel to the fire.

Good Luck to you and your wife's journey to understanding,

Sincerely,

Slim :hearts:

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I am joining this forum to see what I can find to help me with my wife.

First off I must say "Wow, your wife is very blessed to have someone who cares enough to try and help.

I'm not a doctor, just someone who is depessed, anxious, and has panic attacks.

From what you've posted your wife could be entering menopause and that could be the reasons behind her symptoms. Also we women can be very stubborn especially when we feel ( justly or unjustly) that we are being belittled. She may feel you're attempts at helping her are actually putting her down.

I know you love her but please understand that your trying to cheer her up or prop her up may be helping her not to face reality. Have you tried backing off and maybe then she'll come to the conclusion that she does indeed need help? I'm not sure if you've ever had this condition - I can tell you it's very hard to admit to yourself that you are sick and need help, possibly medication for a while or even the rest of your life.

I commend you for your patience this far. Whether it's perimenopause or depression her thinking may be confusing what is actually reality so she may not see what you and others see. Please consider seeking help for yourself either from your minister or maybe your own doctor to see what is suggested.

I'm new to this board but have found great help here.

I've been depressed for over 10 years ( 10 years that I realized). I wish my family was as supportive as you seem to be.

Keep searching this forum, it's great. There are a great bunch of people on here. Best of luck to you both.

Cheryl

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Welcome New Members! <WAVE> I've been away with Hubby to Chester and surprisingly my anxiety levels remained low: I even managed to sleep at night!

In the UK we have lots of help options. It can be a bit of a trawl to find what suits though both in medication and counselling services. I found talking therapy helped me sort out my brain, ditch what I no longer needed and move on. It took 2-3 years of intermittent counselling to gain control of ME! Depression is a companion helped by medication and anxiety is helped with a beta-blocka. I take a list of problems to my GP if necessary so that he and I can work through any salient points.

MIND charity have drop in centres in some towns. There are several phone-lines for different problems: RAPE support, Gay chat-lines, Samaritans - all helpful for people in crisis.

Browse through DF and post - all experiences can help us keep going on a daily basis. You'll find me all over the place if I'm not in OCD!

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Did she achieve for her own sake or yours? Did she do all these things to please you or were they her ideas? She is probably worn out! However much we want to achieve it can be wearying over the years!

"Here are her symptoms" - these are all signs of depression. Many sufferers are so used to feeling depressed that they cannot recognise this as a clinical state. Have you discussed this with your doctor?

"In addition, she is also "peri-menopausal" "- this won't help. Try browsing menopaus@listserv.icors - you'll find lots of help there! <WAVE>

"I love my wife dearly, but over the last few months I have been considereing leaving her, for my own peace of mind" < caring for a constantly depressed person is tiring. Step back. Begin by getting a life of your own; hobbies, interests etc. - my hubby remains involved with his interests despite my condition. Trying to be cheerful for a depressed person can actually get on the sufferers nerves! Like we have to be happy to keep everyone around us happy - try being happy without her involvement.

It's difficult to approach but does she want 'out' of the marriage? Is she depressed because she is unable to see a way out: daren't speak what she really feels: goes along with the status quo to avoid rocking the boat????

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One suggestion I may give you when my wife was starting on the long journey of peri-menopause is she heard about a book from her gyno that is called " What your doctor may not tell you about MENOPAUSE", The Breakthrough Book on Natural Hormone Balance, By: John R. Lee, M.D. I t can be found in health food stores as well as Barnes and Noble etc. It may answer alot of her questions and yours. WARNING: be very careful how you go about approaching this subject. It can be very touchy for women.

This is a very good suggestion. You might also check out the Dr. Phil site. His wife Robin did a show on this subject that included professionals that she uses. I've noticed that the GYNs in my area are advertising this stuff in their listings.

Good luck to you both

Cheryl

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Thanks for your help.

Her symptons got worse, after she was diagnosed with a hormone imbalance and which was further diagnosed as Peri-menopoause, by a doctor. She does not want to take any of those HRT drugs as these may extend her symptoms or have side-effects. Her GP was completely unsympthetic, when she asked for "sleeping pills" to help her sleep. She said go do some exercise, and my wife is one who is on her feet helping the children all day and the last thing she want to do is more exercise.

She has ben trying "St Johns Wort", Evening Primrose Oil as home remedies.

As to her wanting me and keeping the marriage, she does want me and we need to work through these times. I have my own hobbies, and interests, but when I am doing them she says don't you want to be with me and do things with me. I then feel selfish, do them less and now start to miss my hobbies and own activities. And this is where my feeling of resentment start in.

Further background. My wife has had mild "cerebral palsy", which meant she can not use her right hand and has a small limp. She had overcome this to become a fully qualified teacher. We were separated for about 7 years after high-school and when I returned we re-kindled our relationship, which led to our marriage now of over 15 year.

I am not giving up and will try to help as much as I can.

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Thanks for your help.

Her symptons got worse, after she was diagnosed with a hormone imbalance and which was further diagnosed as Peri-menopoause, by a doctor. She does not want to take any of those HRT drugs as these may extend her symptoms or have side-effects. Her GP was completely unsympthetic, when she asked for "sleeping pills" to help her sleep. She said go do some exercise, and my wife is one who is on her feet helping the children all day and the last thing she want to do is more exercise. I was told the same thing for years. Keep looking until you find a doctor that can help. It may take some time but it will be worth it. This lack of understanding by her doctor may be adding to your wife's sense of frustration.

She has ben trying "St Johns Wort", Evening Primrose Oil as home remedies.Maybe they will work for her. Neither worked for me. The evening primrose oil made me cramp and have severe breast pain. Hope it doesn't affect her that way. My doctor said not to take it anymore unless I was in full menopause and maybe not even then.

As to her wanting me and keeping the marriage, she does want me That's good. Hang in there if you can. :hearts: and we need to work through these times. I have my own hobbies, and interests, but when I am doing them she says don't you want to be with me and do things with me. I then feel selfish, do them less and now start to miss my hobbies and own activities. And this is where my feeling of resentment start in. :shocked: Maybe she feels you pulling away to some extent. Don't give up on this though. Keep your own interests and take time for yourself. It will be whats best for you both. Does she have anything she can get involved in while you're gone doing your thing? I agree with what another poster said about trying to be cheerful and leading your life to heal the depressed person will probably have the opposite effect. It will end up tearing you both apart when all either of you want is to have a normal happy relationship.

Further background. My wife has had mild "cerebral palsy", which meant she can not use her right hand and has a small limp. She had overcome this to become a fully qualified teacher. We were separated for about 7 years after high-school and when I returned we re-kindled our relationship, which led to our marriage now of over 15 year. She sounds like a strong willed lady. This depression is beyond her control though. There is nothing anybody can do except finding a doctor that she believes in to help her through possible medication and possible therapy as well.

I am not giving up and will try to help as much as I can. I'm glad you're not giving up. Don't give up on yourself either. Being there to listen to her when she needs it and support her in her treatment is all you can do. The listening though can drive you crazy if the negativity starts bringing you down. There are also ways to get around that. As I said in my earlier post; your wife is a very lucky woman. This forum is great and you'll get a lot of help from people on here to help yourself and also help her.

Hang in there. :bump:

Cheryl

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Hello, im another new user, im 17 yrs old and suffer from depression, generalised anxiety, panic attacks, OCD, post traumatic stress disorder. Im part of many different forums im hoping this helps.

:hearts: Welcome! I'm glad you found this place. There is a mixture of all ages on here. I'm glad you're reaching out to people especially at your young age. Alot of us go into a personal hiding and denial. It's best to attack this head on and accept your own personal reality so you can get the help you need to live a happier healthier life. Never let anyone make you think this is your fault in any way. This is no different than someone with another kind of disease like kidney disease or heart disease. No one would think of putting someone with those kind of diseases down or saying it's their own fault. Depression and other related ailments need to dealt with the same way.

Looking forward to getting to know you

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"she says don't you want to be with me and do things with me ........ "

if she has had a busy life she may have 'empty nest' syndrome! It's common in the UK for a woman to feel 'lost' after raising a family or being involved in a long career. The World seems empty.

My Hubby does archery and occasionally I feel resentful at all the time he spends - but only because there are things in house/garden that don't get done! Otherwise I go along, competitions are on Sundays so I buy the papers/magazines/books so that I can read, doze, listen to the radio.

Don't feel guilty or resentful. But do listen. Is she afraid of being alone? When I was depressed I was scared that I would hurt myself and dreaded being alone.

Try the menopaus group I suggested - we discuss all topics, even menopause! Get your Wife to list her questions ready to post - I'll look out for her there <wave> - there might be support groups in your area - try your Library to see whether any are listed.

Is the cerebral palsy a problem or an excuse? As we get older we need more exercise to keep us supple. That can be a huge undertaking just to get the motivation to walk if we suffer depression too. Keep posting!

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Cheryl,

I am sorry to say it is very difficult for people that haven't experienced depression to understand it. It has always run in my family and I was in denial for many years. I even work in the mental health field. A lot of people think it is like you can just drink a cup of coffee and come out of your funk. Try to be strong and when you need the support get on line and it will help you understand a little more. Mental illness is one of the most miunderstood illnesses there are. There is no plaster cast or bandaid for the boo-boo.

Slim Tim,

Thanks so much for your reply. I can see you've run into people much like my family. It's as though they think it's a weakness in my character or I'm just plain lazy and would rather take drugs than fight it on my own. I can't for the life of me figure out how, with them knowing me, they could feel this way.

My focus has got to be to work towards finding the old me and bringing her back. You can't change people. All I can do is do the best I can with me and get well.

Thanks again for your post

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thanks for your support killi...yes, kids are wonderful, i bet yours are awesome, do u have boys or girls? i have three year old boy/girl twins. they are crazy! but they are my main focus in life, and the only thing i live for! i love them so much! you said you have arrythmias? for the past 6 or 7 months my heart has been palpitating like crazy and ive had several trips to the emergency rooms because of it. i kept thinking i was having a heart attack but it was really just panic attacks. they saw i have a mitral valve prolapse, which isnt much to worry about, but nothing else was wrong with my heart. but i still have heart palpitations all the time. i am more aware of my heart beating , its so strange. it feels like its doing cartwheels in there! i am aware of my heart all day and night now, no matter what. i guess it must have to do with depression and stress and anxiety , i just cant believe the things this does to your body. im only 26 years old and i feel like im 80!!! i hope everything is going good for you !

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Hello, I am new here and I hope I'm doing this right. This is the place to introduce yourself, right? I'm much older than some of you here, 55 actually, and have had bouts of depression off and on all my life. Now I am on Effexor and that does help I think. What's causing me to be depressed now is that my wife and I are divorcing and I didn't want it. But we cannot seem to get along so I guess it's for the best in the long run. I just found out she is moving away from our city and she will be taking our daughter with her. This really saddens me. I'm having difficulty sleeping and the things I used to enjoy don't seem very interesting right now. I'm hoping to get better but at this age, it seems so difficult to start over. I am sad! :hearts:

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Hello, I am new here and I hope I'm doing this right. This is the place to introduce yourself, right? I'm much older than some of you here, 55 actually, and have had bouts of depression off and on all my life. Now I am on Effexor and that does help I think. What's causing me to be depressed now is that my wife and I are divorcing and I didn't want it. But we cannot seem to get along so I guess it's for the best in the long run. I just found out she is moving away from our city and she will be taking our daughter with her. This really saddens me. I'm having difficulty sleeping and the things I used to enjoy don't seem very interesting right now. I'm hoping to get better but at this age, it seems so difficult to start over. I am sad! :hearts:

Welcome Tony

Sorry to hear about you and your wife. Do you have an attorney? If so contact him/her to see if there are laws in your state about how far one spouse can move with a child? Your daughter needs you and you need her. There is nothing wrong in fighting legally for her. I'm not talking full custody here, I'm just talking living arrangements and visitation. Sorry if I'm coming off too strong here. This is an issue near and dear to my heart. I was kept away from my father most of life out of pure spite. My Dad didn't know the laws plus they were different than they are now. He is gone now. I only got to spend six months of my life with him when I was seventeen. He died shortly after that. I'm thankful for the time but sad for the time we lost that I can never get back and the unnecessary pain we both went through.

Please understand also I am not saying this is what your wife is doing.

Again, welcome to this site. There is a great deal of wisdom to be gained from many people here. Depression is something that it seems no one can understand unless they've lived it. Hope your meds kick in so you will feel a bit better. Things will get better. Finding this place is a good start.

Cheryl

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