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Unhealthy Obsession With A Celebrity *please Help*

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1 hour ago, emilydresar1983 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I think you nailed it here. People have crushes on other regular people (and often times even to an extent where they can be called downright "obsessed" with the particular person)...who they may or may not know personally. However, the difference probably is that celebrities count on this kind of attention and it's harder to distinguish whether the other person is just really into them or kind of a "stalker". I agree that most regular people are being flattered once they get to know there is someone out there who fancies them a lot, but not so sure about COs in general... I mean, they must be kind of used to it, so they won't get as much impressed by that as "mortals." In my opinion, only a personal meeting can tell if you and the other person really have as much in common with you as you think and if there really is a chance to be friends or more.

To simplify things, I think men date who they find attractive. I've heard that Prince's second wife was a big fan of his who ended up working for him, and I doubt he cared about her fan status. He just thought "Oh she's hot and she's 20 years younger than me. I'll date her!" lol

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@emilydresar1983 Yes, I certainly wouldn't mention my internet stalking of my CO or the fact that the obsession basically took over my life at times either! I also would have to keep quiet about just how much of an influence he has had on what I've chosen to do with my life. Even though that influence has been mostly positive, it still scares me a little bit to think that I could be doing something completely different right now if he had never become my CO.

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On 9/24/2017 at 11:27 AM, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

@emilydresar1983, makes sense to me! If you were still thinking about your CO more than your boyfriend, that would be a bad sign.

I'm someone who checks my phone as soon as I wake up in the morning to get the latest news on my CO. This morning I was greeted by another video of my CO being adorable and I immediately saved it to my phone. I've only been into him for TWO WHOLE WEEKS, but now I'm starting to feel differently for my other CO that I've had for three months. Looking at him and thinking about him is no longer as fun as it used to be although I still think he's basically the perfect man! It's like I can only be actively infatuated with one person at a time and everyone else gets put on the back burner. I am also skipping a concert today of one of my ex-COs because I just don't feel like going, and I can't help but wonder if that's partially because I'd rather stay home and obsess over my new CO all day.

@HopelessRomantic2011,

Whew, I needed to read this thread.  I thank everyone for being open and honest.  Hugs to everyone, also. 

Peace, H

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44 minutes ago, HeatherG said:

@HopelessRomantic2011,

Whew, I needed to read this thread.  I thank everyone for being open and honest.  Hugs to everyone, also. 

Peace, H

@HeatherG, hugs to you too! How have things been going since you last checked in with us?

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11 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

@HeatherG, hugs to you too! How have things been going since you last checked in with us?

Kinda bad to horrible, but today I did some writing and editing and boom, I just feel like, the obsession is waning enough and it's not constant in my head, so, fingers crossed that I do more writing and editing and feel productive and not like a piece of nothing--whew!  Thank you for asking, I appreciate your kindness :)

How are you doing??????

*hugs*

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3 hours ago, HeatherG said:

Kinda bad to horrible, but today I did some writing and editing and boom, I just feel like, the obsession is waning enough and it's not constant in my head, so, fingers crossed that I do more writing and editing and feel productive and not like a piece of nothing--whew!  Thank you for asking, I appreciate your kindness :)

How are you doing??????

*hugs*

Great, I hope you continue with the writing and editing if you feel like it’s helping you. My obsession is constant in my head and I spent a good portion of last night watching my CO’s new commercial over and over (lol),  but I would say that I’m doing ok. :)

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Well, after some thought I've decided I won't book tickets for the event my CO will be playing later this month. There's probably about a 50 percent chance that he'll still be in the tournament by the time I will be in the city, and knowing my luck, if I buy tickets, that likelihood will be reduced to zero! 🤣 And if he does lose early, going to watch the tournament will be the last thing I'd want to do. (I've already made this mistake once before.) So I will go to the city and hopefully have a nice time there, whatever happens. And if I change my mind, maybe I'll be able to get tickets on the door.

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9 hours ago, OpalP25 said:

Well, after some thought I've decided I won't book tickets for the event my CO will be playing later this month. There's probably about a 50 percent chance that he'll still be in the tournament by the time I will be in the city, and knowing my luck, if I buy tickets, that likelihood will be reduced to zero! 🤣 And if he does lose early, going to watch the tournament will be the last thing I'd want to do. (I've already made this mistake once before.) So I will go to the city and hopefully have a nice time there, whatever happens. And if I change my mind, maybe I'll be able to get tickets on the door.

Yeah, that makes sense. I can see how that would be nervewrecking if you’re not even sure that he’s going to be there, especially if the tickets are expensive. Meanwhile, I just spent over $1,000 for a concert meet and greet pass. Not for my current CO, not for the CO I had just before him, but for the one I had right before that one. lol I realize that’s a lot of money to spend, but I did it anyway so hopefully I won’t regret it! 😄

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21 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Great, I hope you continue with the writing and editing if you feel like it’s helping you. My obsession is constant in my head and I spent a good portion of last night watching my CO’s new commercial over and over (lol),  but I would say that I’m doing ok. :)

Good to hear you're doing ok.  I spend way to much time still obsessing.  My CO has a movie out and it's big and it's just, too much.  I can't even. I cant.

Anyway, great to hear from you.  Just knowing, I'm not alone.  Thanks a bunch :)

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7 hours ago, HeatherG said:

Good to hear you're doing ok.  I spend way to much time still obsessing.  My CO has a movie out and it's big and it's just, too much.  I can't even. I cant.

Anyway, great to hear from you.  Just knowing, I'm not alone.  Thanks a bunch :)

Mine too, although I didn’t love the movie, but it’s great for his career that it’s doing so well and I’m sure he’ll make better films in the future. You’re definitely not alone! 

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@HopelessRomantic2011 I can see why you spent all that money, because it gives you a guarantee of meeting your CO! I hope that it goes really well for you. 😊

This event isn't too expensive (the one I went to before definitely was though 😣), but it's just not worth it when I'd only have a small chance of seeing my CO and an even smaller chance of meeting him.

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On 10/8/2017 at 9:24 AM, OpalP25 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I can see why you spent all that money, because it gives you a guarantee of meeting your CO! I hope that it goes really well for you. 😊

This event isn't too expensive (the one I went to before definitely was though 😣), but it's just not worth it when I'd only have a small chance of seeing my CO and an even smaller chance of meeting him.

Thanks @OpalP25! It’s been super quiet around here. Hopefully that means everyone is doing well.

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One of my recent CO's (the one who led me to finding this site actually) is doing a book signing in the city I live in....on a day I'm at work 😩 

I'm so torn. Do I go and risk getting found out or just stay away. It would literally be "hello" sign book "goodbye" 

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50 minutes ago, I wanna be me said:

One of my recent CO's (the one who led me to finding this site actually) is doing a book signing in the city I live in....on a day I'm at work 😩 

I'm so torn. Do I go and risk getting found out or just stay away. It would literally be "hello" sign book "goodbye" 

Risk getting found out by whom? Your employer? I wouldn’t advise you to do anything that would put your job at risk, but if it were ME, I’d be taking the day off to go see my CO. Does your job not allow you to take time off?

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1 hour ago, I wanna be me said:

One of my recent CO's (the one who led me to finding this site actually) is doing a book signing in the city I live in....on a day I'm at work 😩 

I'm so torn. Do I go and risk getting found out or just stay away. It would literally be "hello" sign book "goodbye" 

Whenever I sneak and do something I always get caught, or my guilt and paranoia eat away at me.  I wouldn't put a job at risk.  Sorry?

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12 minutes ago, I wanna be me said:

I *could* take the day off, but he's a secret CO of mine and having to say where I was going and why...I dunno. 

 

Are you required to say you’re taking off to go to a book signing? At my job, we don’t need to state a reason why we’re taking off. 

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Hi everybody! It's a while since I've posted here, but I've been back to read now and then. I have phases of forcing myself to avoid CO-related online activity (including this site), as it can just lead onto obsessive searching for anything on my CO. But it's great to come back now and then, catch up on the conversation, and know I can be understood!

Right now I feel I have to post, as the last few days have brought me great joy and then maybe some little pain, none of which I can possibly talk about with anyone in my life, only here! Let me explain...

Last Sunday was my CO's birthday. Around this time of year I allow myself a bit more licence to obsess, to dream, to think of her... I always send a present, a card, and I write her a poem - not a love poem (don't want to scare her off!), but more a fan poem about the great things she's done, her talents and values, and how she inspires me, and so on. And I've been so lucky that many times she's replied to me (a card, an email, maybe both) and told me how she appreciates my support.

So this year, as usual, I sent the poem by post (written in the card) and by email on the day itself. The next day, when I checked my mails... omg, butterflies, her name... I open... it's a beautiful message - it's very her, it's fun, it's full of emojis. She says "your message meant the 🌎 to me" (wow!) and "so much love" (wow!) and I love it!

I keep looking at her message again and again. I keep reading my poem, trying to see it through her eyes, imagining how she felt (I made her smile, I made her feel good, I did something for her that she loved and appreciated) and it's a massive high! I've had the same feeling other times (and when I met her - off the scale!) but each time it's still special.

Of course the high can only last so long before it dissipates into a kind of sadness and loneliness at the distance between us. I'm sure other people understand what I mean. But I'm used to that, and it's not long till Xmas, when I send her something and she usually sends me a card with a sweet message. I know I'm very, very lucky to have this level of contact with my CO and it makes me happy every time I think of it.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. I can't talk about this to anyone except here, and some things you just want to share!

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On 10/17/2017 at 2:32 PM, SeSa said:

Hi everybody! It's a while since I've posted here, but I've been back to read now and then. I have phases of forcing myself to avoid CO-related online activity (including this site), as it can just lead onto obsessive searching for anything on my CO. But it's great to come back now and then, catch up on the conversation, and know I can be understood!

Right now I feel I have to post, as the last few days have brought me great joy and then maybe some little pain, none of which I can possibly talk about with anyone in my life, only here! Let me explain...

Last Sunday was my CO's birthday. Around this time of year I allow myself a bit more licence to obsess, to dream, to think of her... I always send a present, a card, and I write her a poem - not a love poem (don't want to scare her off!), but more a fan poem about the great things she's done, her talents and values, and how she inspires me, and so on. And I've been so lucky that many times she's replied to me (a card, an email, maybe both) and told me how she appreciates my support.

So this year, as usual, I sent the poem by post (written in the card) and by email on the day itself. The next day, when I checked my mails... omg, butterflies, her name... I open... it's a beautiful message - it's very her, it's fun, it's full of emojis. She says "your message meant the 🌎 to me" (wow!) and "so much love" (wow!) and I love it!

I keep looking at her message again and again. I keep reading my poem, trying to see it through her eyes, imagining how she felt (I made her smile, I made her feel good, I did something for her that she loved and appreciated) and it's a massive high! I've had the same feeling other times (and when I met her - off the scale!) but each time it's still special.

Of course the high can only last so long before it dissipates into a kind of sadness and loneliness at the distance between us. I'm sure other people understand what I mean. But I'm used to that, and it's not long till Xmas, when I send her something and she usually sends me a card with a sweet message. I know I'm very, very lucky to have this level of contact with my CO and it makes me happy every time I think of it.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. I can't talk about this to anyone except here, and some things you just want to share!

That’s awesome and thanks for sharing! I’m glad to hear good CO news from someone. There was a little bit of “drama” going on with my CO this week, so that bothered me a bit. In contrast to your CO who seems very appreciative of her fans/admirers/supporters, a close friend of my CO decided to go on Instagram and tell fans of my CO that my CO finds them annoying and creepy. So needless to say, the fans weren’t very happy to hear that. Personally, I think his friend was being a jerk and acting like an overly possessive and immature boyfriend, but that’s just my opinion.

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Hi @HopelessRomantic2011, thanks for your comment! I think you're right to be sceptical about this situation and whether this actually represents your CO's opinion. Much better to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's easy to misinterpret or twist someone's words - like he might think SOME specific individuals have been acting annoying or creepy, but not all the fans!

And I think often around someone famous, there are so many people competing to get attention or influence from them, and possibly feeling threatened or jealous of others. And it's possible, like you say, that this person feels jealous or threatened by the attentions of the fans. No point listening to these kinds of rumours!

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1 hour ago, SeSa said:

Hi @HopelessRomantic2011, thanks for your comment! I think you're right to be sceptical about this situation and whether this actually represents your CO's opinion. Much better to give them the benefit of the doubt. It's easy to misinterpret or twist someone's words - like he might think SOME specific individuals have been acting annoying or creepy, but not all the fans!

And I think often around someone famous, there are so many people competing to get attention or influence from them, and possibly feeling threatened or jealous of others. And it's possible, like you say, that this person feels jealous or threatened by the attentions of the fans. No point listening to these kinds of rumours!

Yeah, you're probably right! People keep saying that his friend was just "joking" anyway, but it didn't come off as a joke to me and I didn't find it funny. Not because I was personally offended, but considering how most of the fans are probably quite young, I'm sure their feelings were hurt by that.

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On 10/17/2017 at 2:32 PM, SeSa said:

Hi everybody! It's a while since I've posted here, but I've been back to read now and then. I have phases of forcing myself to avoid CO-related online activity (including this site), as it can just lead onto obsessive searching for anything on my CO. But it's great to come back now and then, catch up on the conversation, and know I can be understood!

Right now I feel I have to post, as the last few days have brought me great joy and then maybe some little pain, none of which I can possibly talk about with anyone in my life, only here! Let me explain...

Last Sunday was my CO's birthday. Around this time of year I allow myself a bit more licence to obsess, to dream, to think of her... I always send a present, a card, and I write her a poem - not a love poem (don't want to scare her off!), but more a fan poem about the great things she's done, her talents and values, and how she inspires me, and so on. And I've been so lucky that many times she's replied to me (a card, an email, maybe both) and told me how she appreciates my support.

So this year, as usual, I sent the poem by post (written in the card) and by email on the day itself. The next day, when I checked my mails... omg, butterflies, her name... I open... it's a beautiful message - it's very her, it's fun, it's full of emojis. She says "your message meant the 🌎 to me" (wow!) and "so much love" (wow!) and I love it!

I keep looking at her message again and again. I keep reading my poem, trying to see it through her eyes, imagining how she felt (I made her smile, I made her feel good, I did something for her that she loved and appreciated) and it's a massive high! I've had the same feeling other times (and when I met her - off the scale!) but each time it's still special.

Of course the high can only last so long before it dissipates into a kind of sadness and loneliness at the distance between us. I'm sure other people understand what I mean. But I'm used to that, and it's not long till Xmas, when I send her something and she usually sends me a card with a sweet message. I know I'm very, very lucky to have this level of contact with my CO and it makes me happy every time I think of it.

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. I can't talk about this to anyone except here, and some things you just want to share!

Thank you for sharing.  I'm on this site because of my CO, you're right--can't talk to anybody else about this.  I came here to learn I am not alone :)

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On 10/8/2017 at 0:05 AM, HeatherG said:

Good to hear you're doing ok.  I spend way to much time still obsessing.  My CO has a movie out and it's big and it's just, too much.  I can't even. I cant.

Anyway, great to hear from you.  Just knowing, I'm not alone.  Thanks a bunch :)

My CO has a new movie out too- and thank goodness that my local theater is not playing it!  Otherwise I'd want to see it, but I'm not sure I'd want to see it with my husband, you know- when an object of desire you're trying to get over is on the big screen. ;) 

Our local theater doesn't play movies that have a 'niche' market, and his new movie is one of those. But my CO has another movie due out around the holiday season, and that will be more of a mass-market hit. I want to see with my mom, just because I know SHE will like it because of the genre of movie it is. 

I've been doing well! I've been busy enjoying the nice weather this month, busy with a part time job, and I even started another creative writing project that has nothing to do with CO's or my 'fandom' I write in. My CO has gone on the back burner in my mind, mostly because I don't see his words or posts on Twitter anymore the way I did last spring and summer. And it's been months since I watched my favorite movie or even seen 'gifs' of it, since I quit browsing Tumblr. 

Twitter is so strange if you follow famous people. It gives you this "familiar" feeling that a celebrity is your friend, almost like the Facebook friends you have that you never actually meet, but they "sort-of" know you and are friends with you. A celebrity on Twitter DOESN'T know you, or even OF you. With all of those followers, they really can't.

 @HopelessRomantic2011 a lot of that drama is something you can avoid simply by getting off sites like that. Celebrities like their fans. But if there really are any that they're annoyed by, it's probably the ones who 'Tweet' them non-stop!

I remember one of the artists whose cute anime-style fan art of the character my CO played would tweet or tag my CO all the time. Then, she drew this cariacture drawing of him based on something he posted of himself- and he ended up re-tweeting it with the comment 'L.M.F.A.O.' I think she must have been in seventh heaven after that! LOL! He didn't seem to be annoyed by it, just flattered. I guess if I had made a tweet linking something fandom-y I created, and tagged him or my other two minor CO's in it, I could have had the same thing happen. But I could never, ever work up the nerve! I even remember imagining that my CO wouldn't like my surname if he did see it, because it would remind him of Nazis or something. That's what used to go through my head...'what if he saw my name in print and thought of Nazis?' (I adore you, CO, don't dislike me, I can't help what my last name is!')

Weird, but that's how my mind used to go. I am so glad I unfollowed my celebs from Twitter! Probably the best decision I ever made for my mental health lately.

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12 minutes ago, imalittleteapot said:

My CO has a new movie out too- and thank goodness that my local theater is not playing it!  Otherwise I'd want to see it, but I'm not sure I'd want to see it with my husband, you know- when an object of desire you're trying to get over is on the big screen. ;) 

Our local theater doesn't play movies that have a 'niche' market, and his new movie is one of those. But my CO has another movie due out around the holiday season, and that will be more of a mass-market hit. I want to see with my mom, just because I know SHE will like it because of the genre of movie it is. 

I've been doing well! I've been busy enjoying the nice weather this month, busy with a part time job, and I even started another creative writing project that has nothing to do with CO's or my 'fandom' I write in. My CO has gone on the back burner in my mind, mostly because I don't see his words or posts on Twitter anymore the way I did last spring and summer. And it's been months since I watched my favorite movie or even seen 'gifs' of it, since I quit browsing Tumblr. 

Twitter is so strange if you follow famous people. It gives you this "familiar" feeling that a celebrity is your friend, almost like the Facebook friends you have that you never actually meet, but they "sort-of" know you and are friends with you. A celebrity on Twitter DOESN'T know you, or even OF you. With all of those followers, they really can't.

 @HopelessRomantic2011 a lot of that drama is something you can avoid simply by getting off sites like that. Celebrities like their fans. But if there really are any that they're annoyed by, it's probably the ones who 'Tweet' them non-stop!

I remember one of the artists whose cute anime-style fan art of the character my CO played would tweet or tag my CO all the time. Then, she drew this cariacture drawing of him based on something he posted of himself- and he ended up re-tweeting it with the comment 'L.M.F.A.O.' I think she must have been in seventh heaven after that! LOL! He didn't seem to be annoyed by it, just flattered. I guess if I had made a tweet linking something fandom-y I created, and tagged him or my other two minor CO's in it, I could have had the same thing happen. But I could never, ever work up the nerve! I even remember imagining that my CO wouldn't like my surname if he did see it, because it would remind him of Nazis or something. That's what used to go through my head...'what if he saw my name in print and thought of Nazis?' (I adore you, CO, don't dislike me, I can't help what my last name is!')

Weird, but that's how my mind used to go. I am so glad I unfollowed my celebs from Twitter! Probably the best decision I ever made for my mental health lately.

Yeah, I know what you mean. My CO is very active on social media, but I like following him and receiving his post notifications. I’m already over the drama. :) 

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