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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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4 minutes ago, nikki114 said:

No, it's the same person as before.

Okay. How long has this person been in your thoughts? They must be a pretty wonderful person, then. Nothing wrong with admiring someone, but in the process of admiring them, you want to feel good about YOURSELF and YOUR life too. 

 

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Just now, imalittleteapot said:

Okay. How long has this person been in your thoughts? They must be a pretty wonderful person, then. Nothing wrong with admiring someone, but in the process of admiring them, you want to feel good about YOURSELF and YOUR life too. 

 

A while now.  Years, but I forgot how many.  He's like some addictive drug. 

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Hello,

First post it gives me anxiety thinking others might read this thank God for the anonymity of the Internet.  Anyway I found these two internet celebrities I liked them because they were funny, cute, dorky, and had tons content. I thought I could just causally peruse their content so days turned into weeks then I was caught up on videos to the present and a year later here I am. At first I thought well I am just a fan but then I noticed my whole happiness depended on whether or not they posted videos, did live chats, updated their twitter, facebook, instagram and tumblr. A sense of euphoria hits when they update and just an hour ago missed a live chat I got so angry. I don't know them but I can't go a day without thing of them or checking their social media. Please I have been reading for a while don't say block them I have tried. I blocked them on everything. Didn't stop me from thinking about them and didn't stop my depression hitting a low it hasn't hit in years. It was worse than breaking up with someone I was in love with because I got over that person but this it was all consuming pain. I am aware I have issues...but obsession has never been one before so I unblocked them. Now I have this contempt mixed in with the admiration and love for them the causes this deep swallowing sadness because it's tainted also not good for me. I bought tickets to see their live show and each day that looms closer I am feel more dread. Dread they might see me, dread they don't live up to their online personas or worse they do.

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Do you ever feel depressed after looking at your CO?  I often find that to be true of me.  I feel depressed, sometimes even suicidal, in those moments when I look them up.   The next day is like a recovery day.  Then BAM, no more depression.  I'm good again.

 

 

Is it like that for any of you?

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I had a dream last night that I saw someone on the street who looked a lot like my CO. I felt all the butterflies in my stomach and my heart and my skin burned like when I see him. Then I asked someone who was there with me (a friend I guess) "have you ever seen someone you love so much in someone else's face?" the feeling was so intense. I don't think about him all the time anymore but I guess this won't just ever leave.... It makes me feel so bad because life has no point to me if I have no chance of being with him. If I could be with someone who reminded me of him, it would be like the closest I could ever get.

I thought about drawing him... with me maybe... but maybe it'd just make things worse, and I feel terrible about someone finding out. It makes me feel like more of a silly fangirl and less like a normal person who could have a chance. I was playing a video game where you can make your character and I kinda made a lookalike. Which is not much compared to the fact that he is featured as a character in a video game for real. How surreal and ridiculous it sounds. I really wish he was a normal person instead of a celebrity, even if I still didn't have a chance. It would feel much less pathetic.

@nikki114 about depression when I look yes, I don't look him up anymore though, I only did it a couple of times. At first I don't feel that bad but it starts to get worse a couple of days later.
I haven't heard about or watched him in forever (more than a year) and I'm afraid to wonder and to find out things that would make me feel worse. Which could be anything. Even something totally harmless. I don't know. But for me recovery is more complicated. Today is a bad day, but I never really have great days because I never stop loving him and I have no one.

@Hopeful Heroine I'm sorry if it upsets you but it does sound like an obsession to me. I think you have to ask yourself what you really want to do about your feelings. For me to think about the online chats my CO has had with regular people, fans, etc, which I know about, makes me feel awful, so I don't even like to hear the word "snapchat" lol :( Maybe you can get rid of the bad feelings and keep only the good, but it sounds like you know it's not healthy for you. The contempt sounds familiar, it's been a love/hate thing for me. How long did you go without seeing anything about them? Because it takes a lot of time and interests in other things to occupy your mind.

Feel free to pm me if any of you would like

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16 hours ago, random alice said:

I had a dream last night that I saw someone on the street who looked a lot like my CO. I felt all the butterflies in my stomach and my heart and my skin burned like when I see him. Then I asked someone who was there with me (a friend I guess) "have you ever seen someone you love so much in someone else's face?" the feeling was so intense. I don't think about him all the time anymore but I guess this won't just ever leave.... It makes me feel so bad because life has no point to me if I have no chance of being with him. If I could be with someone who reminded me of him, it would be like the closest I could ever get.

I thought about drawing him... with me maybe... but maybe it'd just make things worse, and I feel terrible about someone finding out. It makes me feel like more of a silly fangirl and less like a normal person who could have a chance. I was playing a video game where you can make your character and I kinda made a lookalike. Which is not much compared to the fact that he is featured as a character in a video game for real. How surreal and ridiculous it sounds. I really wish he was a normal person instead of a celebrity, even if I still didn't have a chance. It would feel much less pathetic.

@nikki114 about depression when I look yes, I don't look him up anymore though, I only did it a couple of times. At first I don't feel that bad but it starts to get worse a couple of days later.
I haven't heard about or watched him in forever (more than a year) and I'm afraid to wonder and to find out things that would make me feel worse. Which could be anything. Even something totally harmless. I don't know. But for me recovery is more complicated. Today is a bad day, but I never really have great days because I never stop loving him and I have no one.

@Hopeful Heroine I'm sorry if it upsets you but it does sound like an obsession to me. I think you have to ask yourself what you really want to do about your feelings. For me to think about the online chats my CO has had with regular people, fans, etc, which I know about, makes me feel awful, so I don't even like to hear the word "snapchat" lol :( Maybe you can get rid of the bad feelings and keep only the good, but it sounds like you know it's not healthy for you. The contempt sounds familiar, it's been a love/hate thing for me. How long did you go without seeing anything about them? Because it takes a lot of time and interests in other things to occupy your mind.

Feel free to pm me if any of you would like

@random alice  I'm here if you need to talk, too.

I'm sorry that your celebrity obsession still bothers you for so long, even after you stopped looking him up and watching him as much! I just wanna send good hopes to you, that you can get over this if it bothers you.

I had a bit of a resurgence because of the 'anniversary day' when my CO stuff started, but now it's passing and I'm trying to focus on other things and resisting looking him up. 

You posted about that dream you had, and it struck something in me! When I was out with my husband in a different town last weekend, to see a movie (it was a religious, Biblical movie) that wasn't playing in our town- I saw a popcorn counter worker that VERY much resembled my CO! I remember ducking into the bathroom to 'LOOK AWAY' from the sight of that guy. My husband went up to buy the popcorn. This worker was so cute, of course, because he looked like him, and I felt bad/guilty because my husband really does not look like my CO in any way, except maybe eye color.

I didn't want to look at that young man! He was likely much, much younger than my husband or me, maybe even 15, 20 years younger. I bet if I'd gotten a closer look at the employee, I would've realized he didn't look exactly like my CO, but from several feet away, he DID. Since it was a movie theater worker, he probably gets comments about it. "You sure look a lot like....." ;)

At least it was someone I will never likely see again. And speaking of the movie we saw, there were 2 super-handsome actors in it, but did I start getting obsessed with either of them? Nope! Nothing. I'm still stuck on the old CO, so there isn't anyone new yet. Which is good.

Edited by imalittleteapot
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Hi Everyone, 

I’ve not been on here for a very long time, I thought I’d got a grip of this whole CO thing, but apparently not. 

I’m not sure if anyone remembers me as it’s been so long, so just to give you a bit of background on me. I’ve had a long running CO for many years, who I love dearly and he’s always in the background of my life. However he’s not causing me a problem as I’ve learnt to manage the obsession with him.

This is a new CO who hit me like a tonne of bricks on 12th January. Since then I literally can’t get him out of my head. To the point I feel like I’m going insane. I’ve had other crushes over the years but they’ve come and gone just as fast. This new one hit me the same way just as my lifelong CO did. I have no idea why though, it was just instant love. He just seems such a lovely, sweetheart of a person. I’d love to be friends with him. But I know this would never happen. 

I’d quite happily name him, but he is from a band that has a large fanbase and I wouldn’t want his name to lead the other fans here as that’s not fair for you all. 

The other problem with this CO is he is playing a festival near my home, (which I was already attending before his band was even announced as a few of my favourites are on the lineup) My friend (who I’m going with) is a massive fan of his band and they always do meet and greets at this festival and she wants to meet them. I really love their music a lot but I don’t feel like I can even go and watch them play let alone meet the band. I don’t want to miss the festival as one band in particular is a once in a lifetime gig. But it’s two months away and I’m already having major anxiety over it. I was super excited about the festival until his bands new album was released and it all started. How do I act normal in front of my friend (she hasn’t a clue) when I will be going insane on the inside?

I need to get over this CO pronto but I’ve tried everything I can think of. 

Sorry for rambling on, any advice would be greatly received. 

Many Thanks 

 

 

Edited by decado
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@Decado,

Sure, I remember you. Welcome back. :)

I would say to do what you think will really make you happy and avoid whatever will give you pain. If seeing your CO would bring you more joy, then go for it, and don't overthink it. If you feel it will cause months of anxiety and stress if you see him, then don't. There is no right or wrong here. It is a choice that you can make, based on your feelings about it.

As for how to act around your friend, you could say that you're a big fan of the group and (CO's name), and that you're nervous about meeting him. Your friend might even help you get over your anxiety. I think everyone can understand about being nervous to meet a celebrity. You don't have to tell your friend that he's your CO or how far it goes. Your friend doesn't need to know everything, but you can reveal enough so that your friend will understand.

Edited by BlueStarr
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Hi @BlueStarr

How are you? Lovely to hear from you, I remember you and thank you for the welcome back.

Thank you for taking the time to reply back to me. I was seriously starting to feel like I was going crazy. I’ve never fell so hard and fast for a CO for many years, it was very scary.

I’m so looking forward to the festival and I really don’t want my love for my new CO to spoil it. As a band I love so much is headlining and they mean the world to me. Plus GNR are headlining the following night with the original lineup which is a once in a lifetime event, being so close to my home too. I’m just so anxious because my CO will now be there too. 

Thank you for the advice on my friend, I know she will think I am crazy and laugh at me. She’s been a fan of his band a long time and even saw them in January. Although she didn’t do a meet and greet. So she is super excited to have the opportunity I don’t want to ruin it for her. I’d hate myself for that. I want to support her, and be a good friend. I actually blame her a bit (not in a mean way) but she received their new album while we were at work. There is a lovely photo of the band on the back it was the first time I saw my CO. My friend said go home and have a listen to the band on Spotify, I did, I loved their sound, guitar solos and I was hooked by their music. It’s easy to listen to and have a good old sing along. I started then watching the music videos. Then I started finding out who the members were, big mistake! Because I just found myself loving him so much more. 

Anyway so to go off subject. Back to the meet and greet. The rest of the band seem really lovely and enjoy meeting fans especially the singer and drummer. My CO is one of the quiter ones at times and doesn’t interact as much. I’m just so worried he will instantly take a dislike to me and it would be devastating. I have very low self esteem as it is. He is flawlessly stunning and was a model before joining this band. I’d be like a little troll next to him. 

Since I posted on here though, I have restricted the amount of time I spend on Pinterest and only allow myself two short videos of him a day. Luckily their lead singer tends to do most of the interviews and if my CO is in an interview the poor guy struggles to get a word in edgeways. It has helped to calm the obsession slightly. But the other day, I stumbled upon the most beautiful photo of him and then later that night my Spotify decided to add a song in my playlist about his name.  The song itself is ridiculously catchy too which does help as I now can’t stop singing it! 

Gosh I’m so sorry I have rambled on, I just feel so insane at the moment. It just helps to get these feelings out there and not feel so alone and isolated.

Edited by decado
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@Decado,

You don't sound insane, lol! (There have been some pretty crazy people on here in the past, and I don't think you're one of them! :laugh:)

My advice still stands. I really don't think your friend would think you're nuts. Just tell her you're fan too. You could even tell her that she made you a fan when she introduced you to the band's music! (That might even make her feel pleased and flattered.) Tell her your nervous, ask her to help you meet the band, and for help getting over your shyness. You don't have to tell her that he is your CO, or how far it goes. If you really don't want to meet them (him), then tell her you're too scared to meet them, but that she can go ahead and have fun and meet them without you. I personally think you would feel bad if you didn't try to meet your CO, so if it wouldn't be too stressful, I think you should go for it! Let your friend help you get introduced to him at the fan meet. What are friends for? :smile:

Please drop the idea that he'll take a dislike to you! Rubbish, lol! I don't mean to sound like I don't understand what it's like to worry about being disliked because I do. But I think you're likable, so I don't think you have anything to worry about. (Also, from what you describe, it sounds like your CO is kind of shy too, so maybe he'll understand.)

Edited by BlueStarr
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Hi @BlueStarr

Thank you so much again for your advice and for being so lovely. 

I think will have a chat to my friend when we return to work after the Easter break. We don’t live close so we only really see each other at work or our special events we attend each year. It’s the first time she will have attended the music festival. I just want to make sure she has the best time. 

I’ve never met anyone famous before. I’ve never attempted to meet my lifelong CO due to my anxiety that he wouldn’t like me. I know it’s wrong to assume this, but I can’t help it. I think we sometimes put these COs on a pedestal which makes it worse. My new one is also a lot more famous than my lifelong one. I think that’s what also scares me a little, but I don’t know why. I would like to meet the rest of the band as they seem really nice and down to earth and their music really makes me smile. I guess I’m just going to have to try.

If you have any advice on what to say that would be great. What on earth do you say to the man you love who hasn’t a clue who you are?? I’m hoping that by the time the festival comes around my crush on him might have died down, although it’s been three months on the 12th so it’s not looking likely. He’s the most amazing, beautiful man I’ve seen in years. Why did they have to release a new album, Lol! 😂

Thanks again for your advice, hope I can return the favour! 😘

 

 

 

 

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Hi Decado,

Good for you! I am so glad to hear that you're going to take the plunge and try to see you new CO! That's very brave and I am so proud of you! :smile: I think talking to your friend might help. Just tell her what you've said to us here, (except the part about him being your CO). Saying you're shy, you've never met someone famous before, and that you love the band is enough. I think your friend ought to understand and give you support during the event. (At least, that's what I think a friend should do. I know that I would try to help a friend in that way.)

It's not "wrong" to be worried that he won't like you, but you need to stop doing that to yourself. I see no reason for him to dislike you, so just be yourself when you see him. As for what to say to him, just say to him that you love his music and you think he's great. You can't go wrong with a compliment. Maybe you can try to get a picture with him and/or an autograph.

Thanks for offering to return the favor. That's sweet of you. I might take you up on that offer because I can always use advice on my CO too. :smile:

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Happy Easter everyone! 

Hi @BlueStarr You really are a little star! Thank you so much for the support, you have helped me see things so much more clearly. I’m not going to let my love for my new CO ruin the music festival, I look forward to it every year. Plus it’s a chance to my favourite band and GNR, I can’t let my heart stop me from enjoying the whole experience. Also I will get to see my COs band play for the first time. 

I messaged a girl on Instagram who has met the band several times, and she’s reassured me that they are all really lovely. Apparently the two guitarists also suffer with anxiety so she said they would understand that I was anxious. I didn’t mention about my CO or anything as I don’t know her personally. I feel so much better about meeting him. 

Thank you again 😘

Hello @nikki114 I completely understand how you feel!  I know I’m going insane, because I can’t get him out of my head. He’s just too perfect! I had hoped it would have faded, but nope everything I see or hear makes it worse. More so now because they are releasing new music videos and press stuff. Everything just makes me love him more!

If you ever want to talk, feel free to message me any time. I can’t tell you how much this forum has helped me over the years. I’m truly grateful to each and everyone of you. I also met my best friend on here although we live half way around the world from each other our COs brought us together and I will be forever grateful to them for that. 

 

Edited by decado
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@Decado,

Thanks for the kind words about me. I'm glad you feel better about meeting your CO. If you start feeling anxiety again between now and the concert festival, feel free to message me or ask me for more support here. I am happy to help. :smile:

@Nikki,

I hope you feel better soon. You can message us if you need more help, or post here in public, and people will support you.

@everyone,

HAPPY EASTER for all who celebrate the holiday! Even if you don't happen to celebrate Easter, have a great day anyway!

Edited by BlueStarr
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@random alice Thank you for your reply. You said something that made me really think. What do I want to do about my feelings? If I could honestly choose to feel nothing rather than everything I would choose nothing. I don't want talk medication don't ask.  To answer you question I went 3 months give or take a few day without them. The hardest was when I was at work. I am an office worker and am at my computer all day. It's tedious and my options to occupy my time are limited. I work but in between tasks the thoughts crept in. Do you know how to keep the good without the bad? How do you do it?

 

On 3/31/2018 at 6:26 PM, nikki114 said:

I wish I could tear out my brain.  I just can't stop thinking about him!

@nikki114 I just wanted to tell you I feel the same not that it helps it stop but it helps me feel less weird knowing I am not suffering alone.

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Hi All,

I hope everyone is in good health and Happy Easter (hope still not too late)....

I just wanted to post on my updates. Well, I feel much better now. It's not that I've already CO-free. No, it's totally far from there. The thing is, I accept this feeling that I have with my CO with more positivity. I accept that it's part of me now, and I don't want to think so much on how to remove it. I learn to manage my time by limiting the CO activities and not letting it affect my daily routine. I tried to resist myself from searching on him online and it's totally lesser than before. I avoid to look for anything that will hurt me. I admit that I do fall back into my old habit from time to time, but one of my friend said to me to never give up. And I hold on to that. 

I believe that my condition will be better. I will always try to find the solution. Anyone that need to talk or need help, you are welcomed to message me privately. Cheers

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Hello, I hope everyone is doing well? 

Hi @BlueStarr your welcome and I meant every word! I really appreciate your help and support. My CO is driving me nuts at the moment (I’ll explain a bit below). Although I did hear back from the girl I asked about M&G. She told me that he is fine to talk and will have a conversation with you if you make the effort with him. He apparently likes to have a laugh with people, so that makes me feel more confident. It’s the next few weeks that are going to be hard. Because my crush on him is getting stronger. 

Thank you for your offer of chatting via PM, I might take you up on that if your sure you don’t mind? Thank you again for being amazing xx 

Hi @Honey1992 I’m so glad you are feeling better about your CO and they are helping you to be more positive. You are definitely doing the right things to help keep your CO at a level where you can still enjoy them but enjoy your life too. I have a similar situation, with my main CO I’ve had for 25 years now. I’m able to love him to pieces and still get excited by his Instagram posts. Like today he was doing something for Porsche and I had a little fangirl moment then got on with my day. If you ever want to chat feel free to pm me. Best of luck xx

Now my new CO is a whole different story, he is driving me crazy! I would like him to be at the same level as my main CO. Where I could be a fan without the heartache. He has made a positive impact on my life in the fact, I want to look and feel better about myself. I’ve started eating healthier and got back into my running. I am trying to look for the positives with this obsession as best I can.

I do ok for a couple of days, then the  overwhelming need to look on Pinterest comes and I always come across something I don’t want to see. I just can’t help myself from going on there. It’s like an addiction and I don’t know what to do. I’m lucky in the fact he very rarely posts on Instagram, (only thing I follow him on)

Sorry for rabbiting on, I just have no body to talk to about this and I’m super struggling at the moment. I feel this is a safe place where I can vent without being judged or being a burden. 

Good luck to everyone xx 

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