Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

[Helpme26]

3 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

That sounds like OCD, and I was doing the same thing before my therapist gave me good advice on how to stop it.  When the obsession to search comes on, find a way to distract yourself.  Do anything you need to do to get away from the computer or device for as long as you need to do until the urge passes.  Do this every time.  You have to stop punishing yourself that way.  It’s not good. 

This is actually really helpful advice. Thank you. I also have a tendency to continuously research and look at pictures at him. But specifically the research part because I’m obsessed with knowing where he is. But when I finally find new things, it only makes me more and more miserable. I didn’t realise it could be an ocd kind of thing. So this is really helpful. Thank you love. 

[HeatherG]

1 hour ago, Helpme26 said:

I’m so glad to hear you went to see a psychiatrist today!!! How is he/she? Is she understandable of your situation and how do you feel compared to the old one who was a judging ***** who didn’t take you seriously.

 

hopefully you have had a good experience thus far. Is it going to be a weekly thing? Glad to hear it gave you some relief!!

I'm going to go weekly.  She's taking my CO seriously, and she understands!!  :)  Thanks sweetie!

[Honey1992]

On 1/10/2018 at 10:05 PM, Audrey822 said:

My heart broke for you as I read that. I know how it must have felt...everything was going along fine, getting news from your Twitter fan club and watching him on IG...until it wasn’t. And when it wasn’t, it was devastating...and there’s no going back to the way it used to be.  

You have a place to talk about this now. I understand everything you said about this. It clicked with me when you said you felt betrayed...it’s clicking now when you’re saying you couldn’t sleep for 2 weeks, you felt lost, couldn’t concentrate. Your feelings for this CO are probably not just a mere crush. It’s OK. That’s true for me as well.

Mental health professionals don’t fully understand what we call “celebrity obsession” here...it took 2 years before I was able to get my therapist to really understand. We don’t all have the same experience (that’s the reason I wanted the topic title changed) ...we can’t expect the solution to be “one size fits all.” I didn’t want to be “cured” of my CO...I just wanted to learn to stop or manage the heartbreak. Maybe that’s you, too. The writers of the psychology articles you read haven’t talked to you...they don’t know what’s best for you. If their advice doesn’t sound right to you, it’s probably not. Follow your heart. And come here to talk whenever you need to. 

You are right. There's no going back. Things won't go back to the way they were. I may be able to sleep now and once a while, there's a thought going on in my head about him and his partner. But okay, put aside the negativity. 

First, Thank you for your advise. You don't know how much this is meant for me and I'm grateful for that. And glad that there's someone telling me that this is OK. I need to have that confidence that this is OK and everything will be fine. Although, previously I'm truly scared that this might drive me crazy. Thank you again. 

Dear, I saw your post whereas you've said that you didn't do any online research on your CO. Does this mean that you managed not to look on him online At All? May I know roughly how long you manage to do that? Did you still hearing/listening to your CO album/movies? I still do. I watched his movie everyday or else, I can't survive. I need that part of him in my life. But I can't watch his photo that I previously saved. Even without She-That-Must-Not-Be-Named.(Haha) Only his character in the movies. 

Because on the latest posts, many are discussing their tendencies on doing online research. You've seem to be having quite some time in dealing with this issue and have more experience. 

@HeatherG thank you dear. 

[imalittleteapot]

@Honey1992  @HeatherG @Helpme26  Can I suggest something that might help? 

Can you think of things that you were interested in, loved, or was fascinated by BEFORE you saw your favorite movies with your CO's in it?

I've been doing that for the last few weeks. I've checked out and read the genres of books I used to like- mystery novels, true crime, and historical non-fiction about subjects I was interested in, (the Titanic disaster, WWII and the Holocaust, Biblical figures, famous crimes, historical people like Abraham and Mary Lincoln and General Grant, Einstein, President Kennedy, etc.) There are TONS of things out there to read and research about, and once you do, it helps get your CO off your mind. 

I've tried to 'grow up' in a way- going back to real intellectual interests I've always had instead of characters and actors in a movie. There's a whole world of things out there to fill your mind!

Heather, I'm glad your counselor understands! 

Edited January 12, 2018 by imalittleteapot

[Audrey822]

@Honey1992 

I saw your post whereas you've said that you didn't do any online research on your CO. Does this mean that you managed not to look on him online At All? May I know roughly how long you manage to do that?

There’s not much to find online about him.  That’s not to say I didn’t try. There were photos. That’s mostly what I was looking for in the first place. I didn’t expect to find much information about him online, and it seemed whenever I did, I wished I hadn’t. Almost everything I’ve found online has been hurtful. 

His popularity took place way before the Internet era. His band hasn’t recorded in over 40 years. My generation saw our idols perform on variety TV shows like The Ed Sullivan Show. We relied on magazines for information....information was scarce (unless your CO was a Beatle, or a Monkee, or Elvis.) They told us only what they wanted us to know...not like now, where you might know what any given celebrity had for lunch today. These magazines didn’t tell us everything there was to know, and because their record labels demanded it, we were lied to by the people responsible for giving information about them to the magazines. Hence, it wasn’t until 2013 that I realized my CO had ever been married (even though he actually was when I first saw him. The magazines said he was single....that made me happy. That was the point of lying.)  I blame the Internet for disclosing the truth. I would rather have gone to my grave not knowing that. The 60s was a magical time...too much information is not a good thing.

Did you still hearing/listening to your CO album/movies? 

He’s a musician, not an actor...there are no movies. I listen to his music every day. I watch videos from those old TV shows too. I can’t get enough of that.  Those things are 100% harmless.

Edited January 12, 2018 by Audrey822

[nikki114]

I confessed to my therapist today.  I was so scared that she was going to judge me, but she didn't at all. As usual, I am my own worst critic, LOL.   She was really nice and helpful.  We talked about tips and things.  Limiting exposure.  Then she said "When are you gonna get a real man like we talked about?'".  Typical. 

 

I'm glad I told her, though.  I feel...tired right now.  But relieved after I told her. 

[buttermybiscuit]

^She sounds cool! Glad that she's been understanding toward you!

[imalittleteapot]

19 hours ago, nikki114 said:

I confessed to my therapist today.  I was so scared that she was going to judge me, but she didn't at all. As usual, I am my own worst critic, LOL.   She was really nice and helpful.  We talked about tips and things.  Limiting exposure.  Then she said "When are you gonna get a real man like we talked about?'".  Typical. 

 

I'm glad I told her, though.  I feel...tired right now.  But relieved after I told her. 

I'm glad it all worked out that you were able to get it off your chest to her!

I sometimes wonder how you would go about telling a counselor (or even a trusted friend or family member.) How would you explain it in a way they wouldn't take it lightly, and laugh it off?

I could be visiting with my mom, for example. I could ask her 'Did you see (Movie) last year?' and my mom would probably say sure, she watched it with my nephews and niece on DVD.

And then I could mention, 'You know that one character in the movie? That guy who...' And my mom would say, 'Yeah?' And then I would say, 'Well, I have a huge crush on that actor. He's the most adorable man I've ever seen.' 

My mom would probably laugh a little, and say 'Oh, sure! I used to have a huge crush on (old time actor) from (old time movie)!' She probably wouldn't realize the heart wrenching pain of it. If I I went on to say 'I think about him constantly, he shows up in my dreams at night sometimes, and I'm insanely jealous of his real-life wife, and even the actresses he works with'- then my mom would laugh again and STILL think it's silly. Or any of my real life friends. So I wonder if a therapist would not think it's a big deal, unless you really explain it in full- that the obsession hurts, it makes you cry, the obsession makes you feel guilty and horrible if you have a significant other that you love.

So how DO you tell??

 

 

[nikki114]

53 minutes ago, imalittleteapot said:

I'm glad it all worked out that you were able to get it off your chest to her!

I sometimes wonder how you would go about telling a counselor (or even a trusted friend or family member.) How would you explain it in a way they wouldn't take it lightly, and laugh it off?

I could be visiting with my mom, for example. I could ask her 'Did you see (Movie) last year?' and my mom would probably say sure, she watched it with my nephews and niece on DVD.

And then I could mention, 'You know that one character in the movie? That guy who...' And my mom would say, 'Yeah?' And then I would say, 'Well, I have a huge crush on that actor. He's the most adorable man I've ever seen.' 

My mom would probably laugh a little, and say 'Oh, sure! I used to have a huge crush on (old time actor) from (old time movie)!' She probably wouldn't realize the heart wrenching pain of it. If I I went on to say 'I think about him constantly, he shows up in my dreams at night sometimes, and I'm insanely jealous of his real-life wife, and even the actresses he works with'- then my mom would laugh again and STILL think it's silly. Or any of my real life friends. So I wonder if a therapist would not think it's a big deal, unless you really explain it in full- that the obsession hurts, it makes you cry, the obsession makes you feel guilty and horrible if you have a significant other that you love.

So how DO you tell??

 

 

Writing helps out a ton.  You have a problem and you write about it.  Diary, letter to someone, poem etc.  Share it with your therapist or counselor.   The only way to at least start the healing process is through writing and therapy.  

 

It was very hard to confess that secret.  I thought about telling my brother and cousin, the two people I trust more than anyone in the world.  I just couldn't because I was afraid of being judged.  Afraid they would think less of me.  Which is insane because they know things about me that no one else and they've never judged.  I thought about telling my best friend, someone else I love and trust.  But she and all my other friends are very, very busy doing other things.  No room for me right now......

 

I nearly confessed to my therapist when I first began seeing her.  It was very strained conversation.  I guess because I didn't want to tell her or anyone really. 

 

Plus, I'm a fairly independent person and try to solve problems on my own.  This was clearly a problem I cannot solve on my own.  So yesterday, I told myself, "Screw it.  I'll just tell her and see what happens."

 

That conversation started off strained too.  So I wrote everything down.  Told about my CO and how he really reminds of my 'first love'.   Who he was, what he does, how I came to 'know' him.  Everything. 

 

Once it happened, I felt so much lighter.  But she and I have been talking about getting a 'real man'.  She thinks that it's the best way to get over this.  I'm not so sure about that.

 

I've been alone so long, I don't know if I can be with anyone long term.  I'm used to being on my own, and I'm picky as hell.  I've had non-famous I liked and wanted to know.  But the feelings are rarely mutual.

Edited January 13, 2018 by nikki114

[Audrey822]

@imalittleteapot 

So how DO you tell??

what @nikki114 said.   When I disclosed the long story of my CO to my therapist (who was also very understanding) I had it all written out.  That kept me from losing my nerve.   I asked her to read what I'd written...to herself, not out loud.  I told her she could ask me questions along the way if she needed to, of course, but I was so self-conscious and nervous about bringing that to another person face-to-face (after keeping it to myself for 47 years by then) I couldn't even bear to hear her reading my own words.  I've mentioned this before....do you know what that sweet woman said to me when she finished reading it?  She told me one of her colleagues, another therapist, was going through the same issue....this other therapist fancied herself as married to a well-known NASCAR driver (she told me who it was, but I won't reveal his name here to protect his privacy as well.)  Later, I suspected she may have told me that just to make me less uncomfortable that day (and it worked!) because she never brought that up again over the course of 3 more years that I saw her....and considering our discussions, it seems like it should have come up if it had been true.  But that's just how cool a therapist she is.   It didn't matter if it was true, and it doesn't matter to me now.  It worked to make me feel less uncomfortable, and that was the point, and it was greatly appreciated.  Once I got the story out in the open to her, I felt like a burden had been lifted and we could get on to the business of finding out why my heart had been broken so badly and what could be done about it.  I learned a lot about why....the answer to the question "what could be done about it?" had no pat answer(s).  I learned about the stages of grief, and I'm still going in and out of those stages.   I completed therapy in June of last year having gone about as far as I could go, accomplishing all of the goals that therapy could do for me.  I learned some valuable lessons....if you can find a good therapist and make sure you're staying on the right track (meaning, you're not letting the therapist take you somewhere you don't want to go) I recommend it highly. 

[Honey1992]

My dad going for his 5th surgery tomorrow. I feel like I need my CO at times like this. Hopefully I can manage not to check on him online. Fingers crossed I need to stay tough. 

[Honey1992]

On 1/13/2018 at 3:44 AM, Audrey822 said:

@Honey1992 

I saw your post whereas you've said that you didn't do any online research on your CO. Does this mean that you managed not to look on him online At All? May I know roughly how long you manage to do that?

There’s not much to find online about him.  That’s not to say I didn’t try. There were photos. That’s mostly what I was looking for in the first place. I didn’t expect to find much information about him online, and it seemed whenever I did, I wished I hadn’t. Almost everything I’ve found online has been hurtful. 

His popularity took place way before the Internet era. His band hasn’t recorded in over 40 years. My generation saw our idols perform on variety TV shows like The Ed Sullivan Show. We relied on magazines for information....information was scarce (unless your CO was a Beatle, or a Monkee, or Elvis.) They told us only what they wanted us to know...not like now, where you might know what any given celebrity had for lunch today. These magazines didn’t tell us everything there was to know, and because their record labels demanded it, we were lied to by the people responsible for giving information about them to the magazines. Hence, it wasn’t until 2013 that I realized my CO had ever been married (even though he actually was when I first saw him. The magazines said he was single....that made me happy. That was the point of lying.)  I blame the Internet for disclosing the truth. I would rather have gone to my grave not knowing that. The 60s was a magical time...too much information is not a good thing.

Did you still hearing/listening to your CO album/movies? 

He’s a musician, not an actor...there are no movies. I listen to his music every day. I watch videos from those old TV shows too. I can’t get enough of that.  Those things are 100% harmless.

It must really hurt for you to hear about his marriage. However, I'm glad that you've overcome those painful times. Lets us putting aside all the negativity and enjoy our CO as much as we can. Much love xx

[Honey1992]

On 1/13/2018 at 1:38 AM, imalittleteapot said:

@Honey1992  @HeatherG @Helpme26  Can I suggest something that might help? 

Can you think of things that you were interested in, loved, or was fascinated by BEFORE you saw your favorite movies with your CO's in it?

I've been doing that for the last few weeks. I've checked out and read the genres of books I used to like- mystery novels, true crime, and historical non-fiction about subjects I was interested in, (the Titanic disaster, WWII and the Holocaust, Biblical figures, famous crimes, historical people like Abraham and Mary Lincoln and General Grant, Einstein, President Kennedy, etc.) There are TONS of things out there to read and research about, and once you do, it helps get your CO off your mind. 

I've tried to 'grow up' in a way- going back to real intellectual interests I've always had instead of characters and actors in a movie. There's a whole world of things out there to fill your mind!

Heather, I'm glad your counselor understands! 

Thank you for your suggestions but.... I didn't even really have an idea what I like to do actually. I never really had a hobby. I quite enjoy watching movies and listening to music, not sure I can call it hobby though. Mostly I like entertainment stuff. Which leds me to the CO that I'm always have. 

My friend gave me a hardisk full of movies. About 900 movies. I'm currently spend my free time watching it and I like it so much. I'm not fond of reading.

Maybe I'll take a look on your advise. Thank you dear. xx

[Audrey822]

26 minutes ago, Honey1992 said:

It must really hurt for you to hear about his marriage. However, I'm glad that you've overcome those painful times. Lets us putting aside all the negativity and enjoy our CO as much as we can. Much love xx

Thank you. It did hurt, and it still does. I haven’t really “overcome” anything. I don’t even normally talk about that so openly and freely... I try very hard to ignore it, so I have to stuff it back down the black hole now. I agree that we should stop the negativity....staying in that mindset is too painful. Much love back to you! xo xo 

[Audrey822]

2 hours ago, Honey1992 said:

My dad going for his 5th surgery tomorrow. I feel like I need my CO at times like this. Hopefully I can manage not to check on him online. Fingers crossed I need to stay tough. 

I’ll keep your Dad in my thoughts and prayers.  Please let us know how he’s doing when you can. 

[HeatherG]

2 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

I’ll keep your Dad in my thoughts and prayers.  Please let us know how he’s doing when you can. 

@Honey1992  As you've told me, don't put too much pressure on yourself to not check, especially now.  And don't feel too bad when or if you do.  Yes (when you can) please give us an update on your dad.  Take care sweetie.

Edited January 14, 2018 by HeatherG
(when you can)

[SophieViolet95]

It's probably obvious what some of your answers are going to be to this but I could do with knowing some of your input anyway.

Does anyone actually feel genuinely in love with any of your COs? Whether you've met them or not. Like I know it's probably a different kind of love to actually being in love with someone, but the kind of love that you assume most couples to have about each other (if that makes sense).

I only ask because this is the second time it has happened to me in the last year. And both times with a (different) English actor. The first time my CO love has got this bad was like 9 months ago and it faded. Now I found another English actor and I'm certain the feelings are returning. I was relatively okay with the feelings until last night when I started watching a TV show he did and falling completely in love with his character. And managing to cry on and off during the first two episodes before having to stop watching anymore because I got too overwhelmed by him (There is nothing I find more attractive in an actor who can play characters that go from being funny to completely vulnerable in a second). Sometimes he's my last thought when I go to sleep and the first thought when I wake up. And I just seem to have a lot of feelings about him. This honestly doesn't get this bad with the American actors I've become obsessed with.

I know I'm probably just being ridiculously stupid (and I sure feel like it) but I'm single and haven't really had any partners or anything so I kind of just guess that is probably the reason. Plus, I literally don't do anything else apart from the same routine every single day. But I don't know.

Like I've also said before, I'm not in the right frame of mind to just take myself away from them like some people here suggest, I have a very addictive and compulsive personality when it comes to this so I feel completely incapable to just stop watching him at the moment.

But I guess I just wanted to know some people's opinions/experiences on this.

[Audrey822]

@SophieViolet95 Everyone should know the answer to your question from me by now...I’ve only had one CO my entire life, and yes...I love him.   It’s exactly the same kind of love as being “in love” with someone.  

[HeatherG]

I can tell you what it isn't, it isn't love.

I cannot tell you what it is. 

For me, something is very wrong and that's why I'm seeing a psychologist.

[HeatherG]

1 hour ago, SophieViolet95 said:

It's probably obvious what some of your answers are going to be to this but I could do with knowing some of your input anyway.

Does anyone actually feel genuinely in love with any of your COs? Whether you've met them or not. Like I know it's probably a different kind of love to actually being in love with someone, but the kind of love that you assume most couples to have about each other (if that makes sense).

I only ask because this is the second time it has happened to me in the last year. And both times with a (different) English actor. The first time my CO love has got this bad was like 9 months ago and it faded. Now I found another English actor and I'm certain the feelings are returning. I was relatively okay with the feelings until last night when I started watching a TV show he did and falling completely in love with his character. And managing to cry on and off during the first two episodes before having to stop watching anymore because I got too overwhelmed by him (There is nothing I find more attractive in an actor who can play characters that go from being funny to completely vulnerable in a second). Sometimes he's my last thought when I go to sleep and the first thought when I wake up. And I just seem to have a lot of feelings about him. This honestly doesn't get this bad with the American actors I've become obsessed with.

I know I'm probably just being ridiculously stupid (and I sure feel like it) but I'm single and haven't really had any partners or anything so I kind of just guess that is probably the reason. Plus, I literally don't do anything else apart from the same routine every single day. But I don't know.

Like I've also said before, I'm not in the right frame of mind to just take myself away from them like some people here suggest, I have a very addictive and compulsive personality when it comes to this so I feel completely incapable to just stop watching him at the moment.

But I guess I just wanted to know some people's opinions/experiences on this.

For me, I can tell you what it isn't, it isn't love.

I cannot tell you what it is. 

For me, something is very wrong and that's why I'm seeing a psychologist.

My obsession is not healthy, because I don't want to obsess...  for now I'm empty and I've filled myself up with obsessing... 

Edited January 14, 2018 by HeatherG
For me,

[SophieViolet95]

@HeatherG I know it's probably not love in that way, I'm aware of that. But it feels like it in some ways.

I too am hopefully seeing a psychologist soon I'll probably be able to manage it more.

I wouldn't say it was unhealthy for me. It's certainly a pain sometimes, in the way that I just wish it wasn't so intense. But they help me, they're sometimes the only thing to fill my emptiness.

Anyway, I hope your psychologists appointments go well. 

@Audrey822 It's always comforting to know that I am not alone in feeling like this. 

[starbucksjunkee]

I am thinking about my CO too much again.   It has taken everything in me not  to google him and look at videos and pictures of him online.  I caved and bought a song off his first album Radnor and Lee.  The song is called Hello Beloved.  Try to listen to as a single young woman or man and not cry.  It's so beautiful.   If it was legal I'd post all of the lyrics here.  The first part of it makes me feel like he's singing to me. "I don't know you but I know you well...you were there when both of us fell."

In May of this year my feelings for him were so bad I became psychotic.   I was convinced that we met when I was in the middle of my first breakdown and he saved my life.  It never happened.  I didn't know he even existed then and it was the same year he became a professional actor.  I have a small picture from that time in my scrapbook.  Sometimes when I am really missing him I open the scrapbook page and kiss him.  I really hope and pray that he never knows I exist and that if I ever publish my fiction book about my atypical college experience he doesn't read it.  I am going to write a prequel if this one succeeds and talk about my childhood and middle and high school.  I don't know if I can ever write about more recent stuff without changing a lot of the details because I went through some really tough times from 2007-2009 and again from 2014-2016.  I want to write about my feelings for him and other things that happened but I just can't bring myself to use his real name.   I still care about him even though he was probably the second worst trigger ever.  I want to meet someone with the qualities I see in him kindness, compassion, intelligence, confidence, and politically the same as me. 

He also has said he has given up drinking.  I don't know if that's true but I drink very little and very low alcohol because technically I'm not supposed to drink at all.   I try to be the person that I think he is...and try to be a good role model for young people.  Not an easy task.   I don't want a guy who is a big drinker.  Socially is okay but getting drunk on a regular basis is not because sometimes drinking makes people violent. 

He also said he is anti pornography which I am too.  Have been all my life.  So, he and I have a lot of the same values and it's just so sad because I want someone like who he says he is.  But he could be totally different than he says he is.  He could be boring, narcassistic, and think only of himself and not others.  He wrote the article for LA times "Kindness Matters" but he could have someone else writing his newsletter for him.  If he is such a nice smart, rich, successful, handsome guy...why would he be 43 and still single?  I am a good woman and I'm smart and I know how to cook. I can be fun and interesting and I don't have a job but I am very active in my church and my community and I do lots of volunteer work and I love to travel.  I don't know if I'll ever find the right one but I am not working and I have mental health issues and I'm not ready to settle down.  The only time I was the guy found out about my issues and that I might not be able to have children and he dumped me. 

It's going to be a long time before I am ready to work and date again. The only thing that has helped me lately in trying to get over him is making the realization that I do have a very good friend who is his age...granted I haven't seen the person in a really long time but now when I think of him I try to replace him with the friend.  It kinda helps...a little.  But I can only listen to the song once per week and I have to be active.  If I'm just sitting around I cry when I hear it.  I even started to cry a little yesterday at the gym.  But fortunately not so much as to make a scene.

 

[HopelessRomantic2011]

4 hours ago, SophieViolet95 said:

It's probably obvious what some of your answers are going to be to this but I could do with knowing some of your input anyway.

Does anyone actually feel genuinely in love with any of your COs? Whether you've met them or not. Like I know it's probably a different kind of love to actually being in love with someone, but the kind of love that you assume most couples to have about each other (if that makes sense).

I only ask because this is the second time it has happened to me in the last year. And both times with a (different) English actor. The first time my CO love has got this bad was like 9 months ago and it faded. Now I found another English actor and I'm certain the feelings are returning. I was relatively okay with the feelings until last night when I started watching a TV show he did and falling completely in love with his character. And managing to cry on and off during the first two episodes before having to stop watching anymore because I got too overwhelmed by him (There is nothing I find more attractive in an actor who can play characters that go from being funny to completely vulnerable in a second). Sometimes he's my last thought when I go to sleep and the first thought when I wake up. And I just seem to have a lot of feelings about him. This honestly doesn't get this bad with the American actors I've become obsessed with.

I know I'm probably just being ridiculously stupid (and I sure feel like it) but I'm single and haven't really had any partners or anything so I kind of just guess that is probably the reason. Plus, I literally don't do anything else apart from the same routine every single day. But I don't know.

Like I've also said before, I'm not in the right frame of mind to just take myself away from them like some people here suggest, I have a very addictive and compulsive personality when it comes to this so I feel completely incapable to just stop watching him at the moment.

But I guess I just wanted to know some people's opinions/experiences on this.

I don’t feel like I am genuinely in love with my CO the person, but I do feel like I’m in love with the idea of him. I can’t be in love with someone who I don’t know. The feelings I have for him are what I would want to have for someone in real life and maybe it could progress to love, but it’s not love right now. And no, I don’t think that most couples who are actually together feel the way I do about my CO. I’m in the infatuation stage where I think everything he does is adorable and perfect, and you can only feel that way about a person who you’re actually in a relationship with for so long. I’ve never been in love, but I would assume that being in love is feeling extremely comfortable with the other person, having trust in them, feeling like they’re your best friend and the closest person to you, feeling like you make each other better people, and being willing to put their needs before your own. So based on what I just said, I’m in love with my cat...not my CO. lol I am simply infatuated with him which means that I think about him constantly and believe that he’s the most beautiful person on earth. That’s it.

[SophieViolet95]

@HopelessRomantic2011 I guess that's actually probably a better way of putting it. I am probably more in love with the idea of him. Infatuation is probably what I have, I just have a different perception on it I guess (I'm a little stupid with these kind of things ). 

[HopelessRomantic2011]

15 minutes ago, SophieViolet95 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I guess that's actually probably a better way of putting it. I am probably more in love with the idea of him. Infatuation is probably what I have, I just have a different perception on it I guess (I'm a little stupid with these kind of things ). 

No, you’re fine. I’m right there with you! My real life romantic and relationship experience is pretty limited, so I can only say what I think. I know infatuation very well, but I have not experienced much beyond that. I am similar to the main character in the movie “The 40 Year Old Virgin” (I’m just not quite 40 yet. lol)