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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

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2 hours ago, sv14 said:

Hi guys. It's been a while since I was last here. That's not true actually. For the last few months, I've visited this forum, wrote long essays, but never actually posted them. But I have to get this out now. 

My CO's missus released a trashy  clothing line and after saying that she'd designed them and worked for nine hours on some of them, someone found that most of the clothes were identical to clothes on a Chinese website. I thought, finally, we've nailed her and my CO'll wake up to her poison. The outcome of this was her business partners releasing a statement about it whereas she never even had to address it. 

My CO married her today. There were rumours it was happening and I couldn't believe it or I didn't want to believe it until he said. They both posted the same tweet confirming it. 

He looks happy in the pictures and she's smiling too. But it's so unfair that she gets away with anything she wants because of him. 

I'm devastated. Today I went for a lumbar puncture and I wanted something in my procedure to go wrong so badly that I would just never leave that hospital bed. 

I'm physically in pain, emotionally numb and mentally mental.

I am so, so sorry to read this.  It happened to me too this year.  Sending you mega ((((hugs)))) 

Stay strong. 

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31 minutes ago, HeatherG said:

Hey Audrey,

Hope you are well.  I just wanted to post, that you're lucky that somewhere in your brain there wasn't a glitch that turned ALL of your attention, needs, dreams, wants, desires, on your CO.  None of us wants to be this way.  Especially not me, I'm just speaking for those who can't Stop thinking about their CO, and their CO is taking up all of their time and attention and interfering with their lives.  I'm so happy for you.  But I emphathize with those whose lives are being affected by their CO/celeb crush.  It's kind of tormenting.   It is torture.  I just wanted to post this.  But in no way am I saying you don't understand.  You've been warm and kind towards me and allowed me to confide in you -- and I am grateful for your kindness and sensitivity.  :hugs:

Hi, Heather....

I’m glad I was able to help...

I want to clarify what I meant by the post you replied to.... my CO has never prevented me from doing what I needed to do.  But at this point in my life, I do want it to be the way you described...it pretty much already is, and I don’t regret one minute of it...all of my attention, needs, dreams, wants, and desires are now focused on my CO.  For decades he was confined to my imagination in an alternate universe with my alter ego....I could daydream when it was convenient, or when I needed an escape.  That’s not enough anymore.  But he’s still not getting in my way.  If something has to get done, it gets done.  When you love someone, they’re always on your mind...you can’t help it.  That’s how it is with him for me.  He’s just always on my mind as I go through my day, doing what I have to do. He’s not an intrusion or a distraction....I welcome thoughts of him. :icon12: Not that I have a choice....I couldn’t stop thinking of him even if I wanted to. 

 

 

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14 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

Hi, Heather....

I’m glad I was able to help...

I want to clarify what I meant by the post you replied to.... my CO has never prevented me from doing what I needed to do.  But at this point in my life, I do want it to be the way you described...it pretty much already is, and I don’t regret one minute of it...all of my attention, needs, dreams, wants, and desires are now focused on my CO.  For decades he was confined to my imagination in an alternate universe with my alter ego....I could daydream when it was convenient, or when I needed an escape.  That’s not enough anymore.  But he’s still not getting in my way.  If something has to get done, it gets done.  When you love someone, they’re always on your mind...you can’t help it.  That’s how it is with him for me.  He’s just always on my mind as I go through my day, doing what I have to do. He’s not an intrusion or a distraction....I welcome thoughts of him. :icon12: Not that I have a choice....I couldn’t stop thinking of him even if I wanted to. 

 

 

I understand.  I do :)

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Hi. My CO's wife. His wife. He's married. I still can't quite believe it. 

Although lots of girls were upset but ultimately ok with this oh so joyous news, I'm never gonna be. And I know why. 
He said despite his constant failures in England, she was there in his life and she stuck around. 
Well, I was also present for these failures. Being the only girl surrounded by drunk men supporting the opposing team, while my team crashed and burned, was a damn lonely feeling. But I went back every day, on my own, for him. If only he'd noticed me.

And lest I forget, as if by some happy coincidence, a pub shot from her next film dropped in the midst of the wedding celebrations.

I know that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

23 hours ago, HeatherG said:

I am so sorry.  I understand your devastation, completely.  Let me know if you would like to chat/talk.  Is there anything to take your mind off this, while you're healing?  I sure hope so.  I send Big hugs.  (((sv14)))  :console:

 

23 hours ago, posie_riot said:

I'm so, so sorry @sv14. The same thing happened to me. My CO married his "friend" a few months ago. I completely understand your devastation and I feel exactly the same way. I'm sending you a million hugs. 

 

23 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

I am so, so sorry to read this.  It happened to me too this year.  Sending you mega ((((hugs)))) 

Stay strong. 

Thanks guys. Amazing and thoughtful, all of you.

When you found out the person you can't stop thinking about is married and offically someone else's, what did you do? Because the thought of my CO...with, for lack of a better word, his awful wife is making me want to shut down forever. 

I don't really even have a job, I add nothing to the world. I'm a full-time carer for my father. He's got cancer. He's actually the reason I watched this sport so much. But I can't watch it anymore yet I don't enjoy anything else either.

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7 hours ago, sv14 said:

When you found out the person you can't stop thinking about is married and offically someone else's, what did you do? Because the thought of my CO...with, for lack of a better word, his awful wife is making me want to shut down forever. 

I don't really even have a job, I add nothing to the world. I'm a full-time carer for my father. He's got cancer. He's actually the reason I watched this sport so much. But I can't watch it anymore yet I don't enjoy anything else either.

I'm sure being a caregiver is amazingly tough. You're doing much more every day than lots of us do at our jobs, so don't feel like you're less important than anyone else. I'm sorry that you're feeling down right now, but I do hope that it's only temporary and you're able to find your happy place again.

 

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10 hours ago, sv14 said:

Hi. My CO's wife. His wife. He's married. I still can't quite believe it. 

Although lots of girls were upset but ultimately ok with this oh so joyous news, I'm never gonna be. And I know why. 
He said despite his constant failures in England, she was there in his life and she stuck around. 
Well, I was also present for these failures. Being the only girl surrounded by drunk men supporting the opposing team, while my team crashed and burned, was a damn lonely feeling. But I went back every day, on my own, for him. If only he'd noticed me.

And lest I forget, as if by some happy coincidence, a pub shot from her next film dropped in the midst of the wedding celebrations.

I know that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

 

 

Thanks guys. Amazing and thoughtful, all of you.

When you found out the person you can't stop thinking about is married and offically someone else's, what did you do? Because the thought of my CO...with, for lack of a better word, his awful wife is making me want to shut down forever. 

I don't really even have a job, I add nothing to the world. I'm a full-time carer for my father. He's got cancer. He's actually the reason I watched this sport so much. But I can't watch it anymore yet I don't enjoy anything else either.

Honey you do add something to this world.  A lot.  Please don't believe you don't.  For me, I didn't have to worry about a COs wife or gf because I was already warned it was possible (secretly dating his costar), so for me I knew it was possible so when it became public info -- I had been warned.  My stomach still dropped, chest felt tight, I felt sick, like, my world had been turned upside down.  What did I do?  I just went to bed and tried to imagine me as that gf.  With my over-active imagination somehow I've been able to make that work.  It also helps I have a standby CO to go to.  But I wish I had no COs, I'm so tired of how I am.  Let me know how you're doing okay?  Keep me/us updated, okay?  :console:

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11 hours ago, sv14 said:

Hi. My CO's wife. His wife. He's married. I still can't quite believe it. 

<snip>

When you found out the person you can't stop thinking about is married and offically someone else's, what did you do? Because the thought of my CO...with, for lack of a better word, his awful wife is making me want to shut down forever. 

I don't really even have a job, I add nothing to the world. I'm a full-time carer for my father. He's got cancer. He's actually the reason I watched this sport so much. But I can't watch it anymore yet I don't enjoy anything else either.

I understand the disbelief. Never in all of 50 years have I had to think that way until these last 7 months. When everything was finally going so well...I’d just met him 3 months before that, and it went so well. I’m heartbroken. But I still love him, and I always will.

You asked “what did you do?” I’m different from others here. I don’t live in the real world, and I’m fortunate that my CO isn’t so famous that I have to see news about him unless I seek it out. 

You may or may not know this, but I’m the Crazy Aunt in the DF Attic. I’ve had an alter ego since childhood...she’s me, only better. In an alternate universe (aka, my imagination) my CO has always been married to my AE, and he still is. Reality doesn’t touch that. Reality has tried (and succeeded) to wreck my world a few times since September 2013 when I first learned he’d been married and divorced twice in the past. I just decided to ignore those things. Those other women and events (including the current one, of course) don’t exist in my alter ego’s world. In Crazy Town, I try to keep everything the way it always was. 

This may sound off-the-wall to you, but keep in mind...this is a mental health forum; it should be expected to find people with mental health issues in this thread  (*raises hand*) Mental health issues were behind the creation of my alter ego, and escapism was behind the deep immersion into these fantasies. To this day, they remain the only source of love and romance I have ever had in my life, and the only thing I have to live for besides my sons...I told my therapist that I feel as if I’ve really been married to my CO for 50 years (although I’m not really old enough for that in reality.)

Little by little, I had to put my CO back in that information dead zone that he’d been in between the 1970s until 2013. While I was happy at times to be able to have information about him again, there were other times when certain information was more harmful than helpful. So, social media and searching is banned.  I have his music and I have lots of photos...that will have to do.  I will never see him in real time again. That’s sad, but it’s necessary. Any new photos of him playing his guitar show that damned ring on his finger.  I cannot see that. 

You say you add nothing to the world...then you say you’re a full-time caregiver to your father who has cancer.  Where would your father be without you? You’re adding something very important to his world...that’s all that matters right now. Cherish these moments with him, and take good care of him. I know how difficult and challenging it can be to take on the responsiblities of a full-time caregiver, but you won’t regret doing this when you look back. Don’t for one minute diminish the importance of what you’re doing. It’s understandable you might need support....if you need to talk, we’re here to listen. :console:

Edited by Audrey822

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16 hours ago, sv14 said:

Hi. My CO's wife. His wife. He's married. I still can't quite believe it. 

Although lots of girls were upset but ultimately ok with this oh so joyous news, I'm never gonna be. And I know why. 
He said despite his constant failures in England, she was there in his life and she stuck around. 
Well, I was also present for these failures. Being the only girl surrounded by drunk men supporting the opposing team, while my team crashed and burned, was a damn lonely feeling. But I went back every day, on my own, for him. If only he'd noticed me.

And lest I forget, as if by some happy coincidence, a pub shot from her next film dropped in the midst of the wedding celebrations.

I know that I'm gonna spend the rest of my life wondering what if.

 

 

Thanks guys. Amazing and thoughtful, all of you.

When you found out the person you can't stop thinking about is married and offically someone else's, what did you do? Because the thought of my CO...with, for lack of a better word, his awful wife is making me want to shut down forever. 

I don't really even have a job, I add nothing to the world. I'm a full-time carer for my father. He's got cancer. He's actually the reason I watched this sport so much. But I can't watch it anymore yet I don't enjoy anything else either.

My heart really goes out to you @sv14. I wish your CO could see and appreciate your dedication to him. It isn't fair, and now he's stuck (for the time being) with a woman who seems to have some ulterior motives. For his sake and yours, I hope he wakes up eventually. 

I have to state the obvious here. Marriage doesn't mean what it used to mean. Don't think that all is lost and that he's trapped with this (likely ill-suited) woman forever. You asked what I did when I found out about my own CO's marriage. I started telling myself right away that he'll probably get divorced. It doesn't make the current situation any easier, but I'm not going to give up hope that this situation he's in won't last forever. 

Echoing what others have said...being a full-time carer for your father is an incredibly important and meaningful job. Your father is incredibly lucky to have you to take care of him. What you're doing is amazing :hearthrob:  You're adding more to the world than most people. 

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On 12/12/2017 at 0:16 AM, sv14 said:

Hi guys. It's been a while since I was last here. That's not true actually. For the last few months, I've visited this forum, wrote long essays, but never actually posted them. But I have to get this out now. 

My CO's missus released a trashy  clothing line and after saying that she'd designed them and worked for nine hours on some of them, someone found that most of the clothes were identical to clothes on a Chinese website. I thought, finally, we've nailed her and my CO'll wake up to her poison. The outcome of this was her business partners releasing a statement about it whereas she never even had to address it. 

My CO married her today. There were rumours it was happening and I couldn't believe it or I didn't want to believe it until he said. They both posted the same tweet confirming it. 

He looks happy in the pictures and she's smiling too. But it's so unfair that she gets away with anything she wants because of him. 

I'm devastated. Today I went for a lumbar puncture and I wanted something in my procedure to go wrong so badly that I would just never leave that hospital bed. 

I'm physically in pain, emotionally numb and mentally mental.

Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s truly devastating when that happens. My CO is not married yet but I’m dreading the day it will come. I’ve travelled to London to try see if I could meet him but I haven’t been able to so far. All I kind of hoped for was that I could meet him and ask him out. But the fact that I haven’t met him yet is absolutely devastating... 

i wish I could offer you some great advice. But I don’t know exactly what that could be. I’m hoping you’re somewhat coping through this terrible time. Try maybe watch some good films or be with your family During this time.

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1 hour ago, Helpme26 said:

Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s truly devastating when that happens. My CO is not married yet but I’m dreading the day it will come. I’ve travelled to London to try see if I could meet him but I haven’t been able to so far. All I kind of hoped for was that I could meet him and ask him out. But the fact that I haven’t met him yet is absolutely devastating... 

i wish I could offer you some great advice. But I don’t know exactly what that could be. I’m hoping you’re somewhat coping through this terrible time. Try maybe watch some good films or be with your family During this time.

@sv14 Both of you keep us updated.

Helpme26, keep yourself safe there. 

Sv14, find some positive or lighthearted distractions right now, okay?  Hugs to you both :console:

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7 hours ago, Helpme26 said:

Oh my god, I’m so sorry to hear that. It’s truly devastating when that happens. My CO is not married yet but I’m dreading the day it will come. I’ve travelled to London to try see if I could meet him but I haven’t been able to so far. All I kind of hoped for was that I could meet him and ask him out. But the fact that I haven’t met him yet is absolutely devastating... 

OMG, you did it!  Best of luck to you!! :hugs:

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7 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

OMG, you did it!  Best of luck to you!! :hugs:

Thanks! But it’s almost a week ago. Haven’t met him yet and I’m going home tomorrow. I’ve started to loose all hope really, it’s not helping that my mentality is acting up. I had a completely different plan. I really thought and hoped I would meet him so I at least had the chance to ask him out so I could get a decline or acceptance. That would help me move on if he declined, but now when I haven’t actually met him, then I’m just still stuck not knowing what to do! I want to go over here again because: 1# I met this old lovely couple who literally said if I ever came to London again I could stay with them for free so I wouldn’t have to pay for accommodation 2# they literally live RIGHT ACROSS from my CO 

problem is though, 1# I don’t have the money to go. 2# some people asked me if I was okay because they’ve noticed I’ve been hanging around for the last couple of days - noticed I was stalking idk? 3# my mental health has decreased the more days that passed and I haven’t seen him. It’s been really bad at times so I’ve had to rely on my medication so I would fall asleep so I didn’t have to constantly think about him. 

It’s SO ******* frustrating that I haven’t met him. I was so hoping I would meet him so I could finally move on with my life instead of being stranded here in this sort of purgatory state. At least a decline from me asking him out would help me realise: well okay, not gonna happen. Now try to move on. But I can’t, knowing that I haven’t met him yet. 

On a side note I did meet his dog actually. But it was a friend of his walking it and not him so he must be off doing some stuff. 

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On 14/12/2017 at 6:58 PM, Audrey822 said:

@Helpme26...I’m so sorry you haven’t met him yet.  I’m crossing my fingers that by the time I’ve written this your luck has changed.  Give us an update when you can. 

Unfortunately, it didn’t. I didn’t get to meet him at all. Which now makes me feel much worse than before. I knew it was a risk but part of me really thought I would experience at least meeting him so I could ask him. I don’t know what I do now. I thought it would resolve some things if I at least met him. But now that’s out oF the way and I’m left with severe anxiety and depressive symptoms. I’m home with my parents atm. To keep it in check. But I don’t know what to do... I feel so stupid and so insignificant.

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To sv14, my heart goes out to you too. I think we all, to a greater or lesser extent, have had the same feelings, and understand how it is. I hope you're getting through this somehow.

In my case, when I became interested in my CO, she was already divorced, but she's always had this very close relationship with her ex, partly because of their two daughters, and I try to convince myself that I respect that, but... I really don't like him, he just seems so arrogant and takes himself so seriously, he's not down to earth like her. 

But on the other hand... I can see that they care about each other, and that it's great parenting for their kids - they get on so much better that my parents ever did when they got divorced! And then now and then whenever she's pictured with some boyfriend, I hate it. I hate her looking at any man with those tender eyes!

And then there are some fans who want her to remarry her ex, which isn't so crazy, it really could actually happen. Of course I hate the idea, but another part of me says don't be so selfish, if you really care about her you should want her to be happy and not alone forever, and he's always supported her and maybe they're actually soulmates and... aaahhh!! My head explodes!

The problem is a kind of disconnect between who we want our CO to be and the reality of their life. All I can recommend is to try not to think too much about your CO's real relationship and focus more on whatever inspirational talents or qualities first made you love them. Disconnect from any social media connection that throws this relationship in your face. Use your imagination, maybe write something, and remember that in the privacy of your own fantasy, you are in control and they are always yours, and use this to give you strength to get through the tough times! I know this is easier said than done, I understand, but stay strong and don't give up!

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6 hours ago, SeSa said:

To sv14, my heart goes out to you too. I think we all, to a greater or lesser extent, have had the same feelings, and understand how it is. I hope you're getting through this somehow.

In my case, when I became interested in my CO, she was already divorced, but she's always had this very close relationship with her ex, partly because of their two daughters, and I try to convince myself that I respect that, but... I really don't like him, he just seems so arrogant and takes himself so seriously, he's not down to earth like her. 

But on the other hand... I can see that they care about each other, and that it's great parenting for their kids - they get on so much better that my parents ever did when they got divorced! And then now and then whenever she's pictured with some boyfriend, I hate it. I hate her looking at any man with those tender eyes!

And then there are some fans who want her to remarry her ex, which isn't so crazy, it really could actually happen. Of course I hate the idea, but another part of me says don't be so selfish, if you really care about her you should want her to be happy and not alone forever, and he's always supported her and maybe they're actually soulmates and... aaahhh!! My head explodes!

The problem is a kind of disconnect between who we want our CO to be and the reality of their life. All I can recommend is to try not to think too much about your CO's real relationship and focus more on whatever inspirational talents or qualities first made you love them. Disconnect from any social media connection that throws this relationship in your face. Use your imagination, maybe write something, and remember that in the privacy of your own fantasy, you are in control and they are always yours, and use this to give you strength to get through the tough times! I know this is easier said than done, I understand, but stay strong and don't give up!

I agree with your advice although I understand that some of us can’t be satisfied with just having a fantasy life with a CO. But like @Audrey822 mentioned Crazy Town earlier, I choose to mentally reside in The Hopeless Romantic Realm where things always go the way I want them to. Oh, and I just got a brand spankin’ new CO last week so I’m happy! 😄

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14 hours ago, Helpme26 said:

Unfortunately, it didn’t. I didn’t get to meet him at all. Which now makes me feel much worse than before. I knew it was a risk but part of me really thought I would experience at least meeting him so I could ask him. I don’t know what I do now. I thought it would resolve some things if I at least met him. But now that’s out oF the way and I’m left with severe anxiety and depressive symptoms. I’m home with my parents atm. To keep it in check. But I don’t know what to do... I feel so stupid and so insignificant.

Honey!  You're not stupid.  You're not insignificant!  Alright?  Don't do this to yourself.  You were brave and reached out to see if you could meet your CO.  Do you journal?  You should definitely start journaling.  Maybe make sure to reach out to your therapist this upcoming week, okay?  Keep us updated, okay?  I send love and hugs your way.  :hugs:

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14 hours ago, Helpme26 said:

Unfortunately, it didn’t. I didn’t get to meet him at all. Which now makes me feel much worse than before. I knew it was a risk but part of me really thought I would experience at least meeting him so I could ask him. I don’t know what I do now. I thought it would resolve some things if I at least met him. But now that’s out oF the way and I’m left with severe anxiety and depressive symptoms. I’m home with my parents atm. To keep it in check. But I don’t know what to do... I feel so stupid and so insignificant.

I’m so sorry it didn’t go the way you planned. I understand why that makes you feel worse, but as @HeatherG said above, you’re not stupid or insignificant. He didn’t even get to see you...there’s no telling what might have happened if he did.  It’s very unfortunate and unfair that he lives so far away from you....maybe you can try again in the future, but please be sure you can really afford it before you go again.  Sending lots of love and hugs. :console:

7 hours ago, SeSa said:

The problem is a kind of disconnect between who we want our CO to be and the reality of their life. All I can recommend is to try not to think too much about your CO's real relationship and focus more on whatever inspirational talents or qualities first made you love them. Disconnect from any social media connection that throws this relationship in your face. Use your imagination, maybe write something, and remember that in the privacy of your own fantasy, you are in control and they are always yours, and use this to give you strength to get through the tough times! I know this is easier said than done, I understand, but stay strong and don't give up!

Welcome back, @SeSa ... it’s good to see you here again.  This is excellent advice. This is exactly what I do, and have been preaching for almost 4 years since I’ve been here.  It’s not always easy....these last 7 months have thrown at me the biggest challenge in 50 years.  But he’s worth every struggle I endure to get through it all because I love him.  As you said, in my imagination, he’s mine (or my alter ego’s) and I control everything that happens.  “Certain people” who exist in his real world have never been born in the alternate universe otherwise known as my imagination...they flat out do not exist

48 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I agree with your advice although I understand that some of us can’t be satisfied with just having a fantasy life with a CO. But like @Audrey822 mentioned Crazy Town earlier, I choose to mentally reside in The Hopeless Romantic Realm where things always go the way I want them to. Oh, and I just got a brand spankin’ new CO last week so I’m happy! 😄

Thank you for saying this!!  I’m not joking when I say, I feel so validated by your comment... and a little less crazy.  :hugs:Congratulations on your new CO!  Are you still writing stories? 

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12 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

Thank you for saying this!!  I’m not joking when I say, I feel so validated by your comment... and a little less crazy.  :hugs:Congratulations on your new CO!  Are you still writing stories? 

@Audrey822, No problem! I’m always happy to make others feel a little less crazy! lol My new CO was a surprise. One day I had no idea who he was and the next day, he was all I could think about. He’s an actor, so not exactly accessible to me in the way that some of my touring musician COs have been. But I like this one, so I guess I’ll have to admire him from afar. Yes, I’m still coming up with story ideas, but I haven’t been terribly productive in writing them down. Maybe when I have some time off for the holidays, I’ll work on that. Thanks for asking! 😄

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Hi all.

I've been lurking on here for about 3 months now.  But I finally joined.  I can't take this anymore.

 

I've had this celebrity obsession for years now.  It's gotten worse and worse ever since I was forced out of school.  It's the same guy that the OP was talking about.  I'd go days without getting the slightest urge to research him, then BAM!  I'm back to looking up everything I can find about him.  Feeling jealous and unpleasant with him and his partner.  Getting the stomach cramps.

 

  I'm on the spectrum, so getting special interests/obsessions is usually a joy.  The difference between those and this one is that I want this one to stop.  This is INSANE!

 

I guess what I'm asking is how do you get it to stop?  Like completely stop?  What can I do?

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Hi @nikki114 ... welcome to the board.  You’re not unlike many here who want to rid themselves of their CO, but I see you mentioned that you usually enjoy this sort of thing.   But for some reason, this one is different.  Is that mostly because of the jealousy you’re feeling about his partner?  Is it possible to enjoy him by saving some photos of him (alone!) and then giving up searches?  A few posts up you’ll see that @SeSa mentioned disconnecting from social media and anything that will throw the relationship in your face.  I totally agree with that advice.  I realize you can’t forget what you already know, but you can try to ignore it and stop putting it in front of you day after day.  

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3 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

Hi @nikki114 ... welcome to the board.  You’re not unlike many here who want to rid themselves of their CO, but I see you mentioned that you usually enjoy this sort of thing.   But for some reason, this one is different.  Is that mostly because of the jealousy you’re feeling about his partner?  Is it possible to enjoy him by saving some photos of him (alone!) and then giving up searches?  A few posts up you’ll see that @SeSa mentioned disconnecting from social media and anything that will throw the relationship in your face.  I totally agree with that advice.  I realize you can’t forget what you already know, but you can try to ignore it and stop putting it in front of you day after day.  

I think that jealousy is possible, I won't lie.  I'm usually able to block the 'other woman' when I have these kinds of obsessions.  And they don't last nearly as long as this one.  Typically, I try to look at pictures of him alone or with the ex, whom I also like.  But she sneaks in.  ICK!

 

But there are a few accounts where I'm not bombarded with mentions and pictures of 'the other woman'.  I could focus more on those.

 

I can try the social media trick.  But that would probably mean getting a new Instagram, LOL.  Gaming might have to change too.....

 

Wow.  Just talking about this makes me feel better.  Thanks.

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7 minutes ago, nikki114 said:

I think that jealousy is possible, I won't lie.  I'm usually able to block the 'other woman' when I have these kinds of obsessions.  And they don't last nearly as long as this one.  Typically, I try to look at pictures of him alone or with the ex, whom I also like.  But she sneaks in.  ICK!

 

But there are a few accounts where I'm not bombarded with mentions and pictures of 'the other woman'.  I could focus more on those.

 

I can try the social media trick.  But that would probably mean getting a new Instagram, LOL.  Gaming might have to change too.....

 

Wow.  Just talking about this makes me feel better.  Thanks.

I’m glad it makes you feel better to talk about this...it usually does.  Just knowing you’re not going through this alone probably helps (it helped me when I came here.). 

Try to focus on those accounts where she doesn’t show up.  I get that she’s going to sneak in now and then.  But when she does, visualize yourself gently moving her out of the way while you take her place. :Coopwink:  Read the excellent advice @SeSa gave earlier today....you control everything that happens in. your imagination.  She doesn’t have to exist there at all.  Do what makes you happy and avoid what doesn’t.  And if it makes you feel better to talk, there’s always someone here who will listen...usually we’ll respond within a few hours, often much sooner.  

Edited by Audrey822

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17 minutes ago, nikki114 said:

@Audrey822:   Is it bad that I made a Sim of him?  I love playing The Sims.

Same here! I have tons of celebrity Sims in my game. I tried to make a Sim of my current CO and it looks nothing like him, so hopefully a more artistically talented player will make one of him soon. 😄

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