Jump to content

Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


Recommended Posts

it's funny, I always wondered if there were other people like me out there. I love to sit in my bed on days I don't have to work and daydream about my celebrity crush. When I'm working out I daydream. Some days I have to knock myself out of obsession because deep down I know this person does not care about me but it's hard. I'd rather daydream than have a real relationship. At least I can control the outcome and express myself while envisioning my crush saying the same things to me. I guess the difference with my crushes is I move on to someone new. I fantasize like I date, LOL. I get bored with one and find a new one.

I have right now that helps me to get to sleep at night. I guess I don't see anything wrong with it as long as I'm not showing up at every event or obtaining their personal information. Then again, my Celebrity Crush is like 10,000 miles away so it isn't possible right now....:Coopwink:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Add to that, Celebrity Worship Syndrome is much more powerful than people want to admit! And now I know from experience that sleeping with one will mess with a fan's head, no doubt about it. So Hopeless Romantic, I applaud you for not making efforts to actually meet G or even contact him because like you said, reality never compares with fantasy. I've done a fair bit of research on the subject, and it seems extremely rare for a fan to be committed with a celebrity (whether they have sex or not), and i have yet to hear of a story where the fan and celebrity live happily ever after like in the fairy tales. This has helped me ALOT.

Thanks for the support although I don't think I truly deserve your applause for not trying to contact him. If he lived in my country or if I lived in his (or if I knew someone crazy enough to take a trip with me to his country to go see him on tour), who knows what I'd do! hehe I can't even begin to imagine how difficult things must be for you since you actually had an intimate encounter with Dave. I'd definitely go nuts if I ever had an encounter like that with "G". Over a year ago, I dated a guy for a month who I thought was absolutely perfect and I still obsess over him and the fact that things didn't work out, so I don't think I could ever get over it if something like that were to happen with "G". I'd like to think I could be happy with being with him just once, but I'm not sure I could ever be satisfied with another guy after him, so maybe it would be better not to have that experience. (Also I probably shouldn't mention this but, I do know of a few musicians who married fans they met at their concert and they're still together several years later and seem to be very happy, so while this isn't the norm, I know that it can happen...)

I applaud you for actually speaking to a therapist. I've never seen a therapist myself about any of my issues (I have many!), but I think it's great if you can find one who is actually helpful.

Edited by HopelessRomantic2011
Link to comment
Share on other sites

That's right. Just keep it as a nice, safe fantasy from a distance and you'll get over G much faster than I could ever dream of getting over Dave. We'll be fine though. :)

Add to that, Celebrity Worship Syndrome is much more powerful than people want to admit! And now I know from experience that sleeping with one will mess with a fan's head, no doubt about it. So Hopeless Romantic, I applaud you for not making efforts to actually meet G or even contact him because like you said, reality never compares with fantasy. I've done a fair bit of research on the subject, and it seems extremely rare for a fan to be committed with a celebrity (whether they have sex or not), and i have yet to hear of a story where the fan and celebrity live happily ever after like in the fairy tales. This has helped me ALOT.

Thanks for the support although I don't think I truly deserve your applause for not trying to contact him. If he lived in my country or if I lived in his (or if I knew someone crazy enough to take a trip with me to his country to go see him on tour), who knows what I'd do! hehe I can't even begin to imagine how difficult things must be for you since you actually had an intimate encounter with Dave. I'd definitely go nuts if I ever had an encounter like that with "G". Over a year ago, I dated a guy for a month who I thought was absolutely perfect and I still obsess over him and the fact that things didn't work out, so I don't think I could ever get over it if something like that were to happen with "G". I'd like to think I could be happy with being with him just once, but I'm not sure I could ever be satisfied with another guy after him, so maybe it would be better not to have that experience. (Also I probably shouldn't mention this but, I do know of a few musicians who married fans they met at their concert and they're still together several years later and seem to be very happy, so while this isn't the norm, I know that it can happen...)

I applaud you for actually speaking to a therapist. I've never seen a therapist myself about any of my issues (I have many!), but I think it's great if you can find one who is actually helpful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I just want to say i've had something really similar to this, and I got over it. I've always been into my singers and bands, when I was younger I had a lot of free time so I obsessed over them quite a lot. The odd thing is I loved when they were married/in relationships, and although I found them attractive, i'd hate for anything to break them up. I quickly realised that I was obsessed with the 'perfect' guy, so I admired him for being commited and taking care of his family as much as I did his music. Sooo rock and roll haha. So to me, what hurt would be hearing rumours that he'd cheated on his wife, for example. Because to me that would have broken the perfect picture. I never did hear anything like this about any of the guys I was into, but I quickly realised that it was unhealthy to feel that way and I was ruining the music - that if I didn't cut this feeling, if something like that did ever happen, i'd never want to listen to their music again, and I love their music too much to do that.

So long story short I distanced myself from those feelings. It was hard, but I did it. Now, i'm able to 'fangirl' normally (if you can call fangirling normal); just focus on the good stuff, like a cute picture and new music. It's normal, now, not obsessive. The key really is to seeing them as humans. You should never put anyone on a pedestal for that reason.

Besides, films and music is supposed to be fun. If you're feeling anxious, it's time to look at what's wrong and try and sort it, before you take the fun away completely. :)

Edited by leigh1987
Link to comment
Share on other sites

*sigh* Saw my obsession on TV tonight. Reached a new ****** low. He's already the closest I'll ever get to God...now he's the closest I've ever gotten to sex. Just gonna say it: it was orgasmic. Seeing him, hearing his voice...D***. I hate that it's gotten to this. HATE. Now I'm feeling somewhat desperate. I have to get these thoughts/feelings under control NOW cause I know I may just wind up doing/saying something that I will regret. I CAN'T afford that. On top of that, I had a CRAPPY day, and it being Monday does me no favors. So seeing him made my just as crappy weekend worth it. I want to put this/him into perspective...but it's just so hard when you just have nothing else to look forward to in life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh me oh my, I do wish there was like, a magic wand we could wave over ourselves to get past these awful feelings lol. I swear I've tried every trick in the book to get past "Dave" but nothing works, and it's been over 3 months since we slept together. Everyone (incl my psychiatrist and my therapist) tells me it's just a crush, but I don't understand how a crush can cause me to think about someone 24/7......

Well, i am thankful we have websites like these to connect and support each other, even if the "healing" process takes its sweet time!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I want to put this/him into perspective...but it's just so hard when you just have nothing else to look forward to in life.

I can relate to this feeling. While my life is far from horrible, I do get pretty bored with it. It's like how many times can I wake up and keep repeating the same boring day over and over?? Nothing exciting ever really happens for me. My job bores me to tears and I don't have much of a social life outside of it. I love the feeling of having a crush because that's exciting for me, but I don't really come into contact with too many guys in my daily life. I suppose that's my fault for not getting out more though. I have two crushes at work: one is really hot and makes me all giddy inside when I see him, but he's married, so nothing is going to happen there. :( The other one is attractive and I talk to him more often because he's not intimidatingly gorgeous like the first one, but I don't think we could ever be a couple due to cultural differences. I meet all of the guys who I date online (which probably isn't the best way to go about it, but I haven't met any psychos yet), and I do think it's harder to make a connection with people this way, so the dates I go on don't usually progress into real relationships, although a few have.

So yeah, since my dating life is kind of in the dumps right now, I'm using my celebrity crush as a crutch. Once again, I don't think that's so bad if I keep it under control, but I've been kind of bad these last few days. My celebrity crush is a Facebook friend, but he actually finds time to update his status every day and he even responds to fan comments sometimes. Though I'm tempted, I've never actually commented on his status or sent him a Facebook message or anything like that because I don't want to feel disappointed if he doesn't respond nor do I want to trick myself into feeling like he's a "real" Facebook friend that I can communicate with. Last night, I was snooping on his page and found his so-called girlfriend of the moment on his friends list and I looked at her page because it wasn't fully private. She's pretty, but not all that! (Yes, that's partially my jealousy talking, but seriously, she's not all that. She's just lucky! lol) But this is an example of me taking it too far. It's not like I sent her a Facebook message telling her to "stay away from my man" or anything like that, but I still think it was creepy of me to actually find her in his friends list and look at her page...and then Google her to see what else I could find. Especially since she's not a celebrity (I'm just nosy, what can I say?)

As others have mentioned, I don't really want to get over my obsession because it's fun for me, but I just have to know where to draw the line, and that seems to be the part that a lot of us struggle with.

Edited by HopelessRomantic2011
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've just developed a simple motto and I'm already starting to feel better! Not sure the thoughts of "Dave" are going away, but it's not getting me down as much as it used to.

"It is what is.....the suffering i've endured these last 3 months is only my imagination."

So yeah, the actual events that happened,, happened ('it is what it is'), regardless of how a person, incl myself, wants to perceive this. The part about my imagination might seem a bit like i'm trying to con myself (and maybe I am), but the thing is, Dave hasn't actually DONE anything to make me suffer. I had a simple, one night stand with him (as i've done with other men), and this time, my perspective was distorted, and yes, probably because he's a celebrity. But again, it is what it is.

To the rest of you, maybe try a motto along those lines, regardless of what your specific situation w/ your celeb interest is. yay.gif

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 months later...

Afternoon everyone :)

Okay a quick background on me before I start. I've suffered from depression since, I think, around 17 and not sure if it's down to getting hit by a car, from taking Roacutane or if it's 'just me'. Three times it flared up pretty badly, once when I was 17-18, once when I was 24 and again this year. The first two times I decided it was down to life choices and refused medication opting to dig myself out of my hole instead. I went back to school and now have a job I enjoy, has much better prospects, girlfriend i'm happy with and am in a much better position financially. Despite all this I had two episodes this year, the first around March that made me feel very sad, probably due to a huge amount of stress in work. The second was around August/September time and was unbearable, like I was on the verge of crying constantly for weeks and weeks but i'm not actually able to cry so I had no release. I went to the Dr and asked for help, i've been on Citalopram since and for the last two months have been a lot better. Not feeling like crying anymore, haven't snapped at anybody for a while, seem to cope better with work etc.

So anyway, during my last bad episode in August/September I took my lovely girlfriend to see a chick flick she really wanted to see, it was 'One Day' starring Anne Hathaway. The girlfriend thought it was okay, I really enjoyed it, but it left me absolutely devastated. I never ever cry at movies but that is the closest I have come to crying at any point, for any reason, since I was a child. I became really attached to the character 'Emma' and since then have become obsessed with Anne Hathaway. I've always thought she was astoundingly pretty, ever since I was flicking channels once, with a hangover, and caught a bit of The Princess Diaries, but i've never given her a second though or had a thing for any celebrity at all, it's just not my thing, i'm more inclined to yearn for a girl i've seen on the street or in work than somebody i've seen on the television.

Anyway since that movie I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, I Google her all the time looking for the latest news articles, today I read her and her boyfriend are thinking of getting married next year and I felt sick. Pictures of her give me butterflies, every time I see her being interviewed she seems so lovely, so kind, so witty, so charming and so normal and she doesn't seem to crave the limelight like other 'stars'. I imagine she would be such good fun to be around, to spend time with, would be a great friend, I imagine going for a coffee or few drinks and just walking around, holding hands, all totally innocent stuff. I imagine I could easily fall for her if we were to date, who thinks these kind of things??!!

At the same time I have this 'mental safety net' that reminds me that these thoughts are completely and utterly insane, that her and I will never ever meet, will never even walk past each other in the street, let alone anything else. That these thoughts are mad, that she would probably be quite scared if she ever found out somebody was thinking like this, that I would be scared if I were her. This then depresses me because I think that

a) I'm insane and I really don't want to be

b) I'm scary when in face I would never hurt a fly and would be mortified if I thought I had upset anybody

c) I'm watching somebody else live their life and not living mine, not achieving anything

d) I'm worthless because i'll never be important (by important I mean do something that touches as many people as she does) enough to ever be able to get close enough to speak to her without her thinking i'm a crazy person.

Then there's the fact that I have a girlfriend. A beautiful girlfriend who in fact is kind of similar looking to ol' Anne, who is lovely, who i'm very happy with, the first woman i've actually considered moving in and settling down with.

I'm really worried that this won't go away, that i'll either keep feeling lovesick over somebody i've never met, spoken to or who has no idea that I even exist. I've always gone out of my way to avoid celebrity gossip, hate celebrity gossip magazines, hate celebrity TV shows, yet here I am yearning after one. It's insane.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Afternoon everyone :)

Okay a quick background on me before I start. I've suffered from depression since, I think, around 17 and not sure if it's down to getting hit by a car, from taking Roacutane or if it's 'just me'. Three times it flared up pretty badly, once when I was 17-18, once when I was 24 and again this year. The first two times I decided it was down to life choices and refused medication opting to dig myself out of my hole instead. I went back to school and now have a job I enjoy, has much better prospects, girlfriend i'm happy with and am in a much better position financially. Despite all this I had two episodes this year, the first around March that made me feel very sad, probably due to a huge amount of stress in work. The second was around August/September time and was unbearable, like I was on the verge of crying constantly for weeks and weeks but i'm not actually able to cry so I had no release. I went to the Dr and asked for help, i've been on Citalopram since and for the last two months have been a lot better. Not feeling like crying anymore, haven't snapped at anybody for a while, seem to cope better with work etc.

So anyway, during my last bad episode in August/September I took my lovely girlfriend to see a chick flick she really wanted to see, it was 'One Day' starring Anne Hathaway. The girlfriend thought it was okay, I really enjoyed it, but it left me absolutely devastated. I never ever cry at movies but that is the closest I have come to crying at any point, for any reason, since I was a child. I became really attached to the character 'Emma' and since then have become obsessed with Anne Hathaway. I've always thought she was astoundingly pretty, ever since I was flicking channels once, with a hangover, and caught a bit of The Princess Diaries, but i've never given her a second though or had a thing for any celebrity at all, it's just not my thing, i'm more inclined to yearn for a girl i've seen on the street or in work than somebody i've seen on the television.

Anyway since that movie I haven't been able to stop thinking about her, I Google her all the time looking for the latest news articles, today I read her and her boyfriend are thinking of getting married next year and I felt sick. Pictures of her give me butterflies, every time I see her being interviewed she seems so lovely, so kind, so witty, so charming and so normal and she doesn't seem to crave the limelight like other 'stars'. I imagine she would be such good fun to be around, to spend time with, would be a great friend, I imagine going for a coffee or few drinks and just walking around, holding hands, all totally innocent stuff. I imagine I could easily fall for her if we were to date, who thinks these kind of things??!!

At the same time I have this 'mental safety net' that reminds me that these thoughts are completely and utterly insane, that her and I will never ever meet, will never even walk past each other in the street, let alone anything else. That these thoughts are mad, that she would probably be quite scared if she ever found out somebody was thinking like this, that I would be scared if I were her. This then depresses me because I think that

a) I'm insane and I really don't want to be

b) I'm scary when in face I would never hurt a fly and would be mortified if I thought I had upset anybody

c) I'm watching somebody else live their life and not living mine, not achieving anything

d) I'm worthless because i'll never be important (by important I mean do something that touches as many people as she does) enough to ever be able to get close enough to speak to her without her thinking i'm a crazy person.

Then there's the fact that I have a girlfriend. A beautiful girlfriend who in fact is kind of similar looking to ol' Anne, who is lovely, who i'm very happy with, the first woman i've actually considered moving in and settling down with.

I'm really worried that this won't go away, that i'll either keep feeling lovesick over somebody i've never met, spoken to or who has no idea that I even exist. I've always gone out of my way to avoid celebrity gossip, hate celebrity gossip magazines, hate celebrity TV shows, yet here I am yearning after one. It's insane.

As you may have noticed I have posted on this thread before. I'm going through exactly the same thing, the same feelings, everything. I'm also a depressive, and I'm in a relationship with someone I love. I also see how insane my fixation is, I know I'll never be with him. I hate 'celebrity gossip' and struggle to understand why this has happened and why I can't shake it off. I'm also on citalopram and have been ok so far (my depression is largely seasonal affective disorder).

Is there some quality you thought you saw in Anne Hathaway/Emma that particularly resonated with you? My obsessions usually bloom when I see a character I particularly identify with and because they are fictional I obsess about the actor even if they're completely different in real life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been there, and I've overcome it. I see that this thread is very long and goes back over a year, but I truly hope I can help some people suffering from what I know is an incredibly painful thing.

When the issue first presented itself, it was more minor but still kind of unusual... I was young and not yet interested in boys, so I (at least two times, majorly) became obsessed with two historical time periods. The first was the Holocaust, probably around age 7-10. I would watch hours and hours of documentaries about it, even the really graphic ones, and just cry over it and think about it all the time. For some reason, I felt some unrealistic attachment to these people and their suffering, and the injustice (even being as young as I was) sickened me.

When I was 10-11, I became obsessed with Titanic... first just the movie, and then documentaries about that. I would listen to the soundtrack and pretend I was drowning in cold water. I would run my hands under freezing faucets. I wrote stories about it. I would literally spend time isolating myself and being depressed over such a sad event.

I seemed to just eventually divert my attention elsewhere, but when it finally became a very, very big/unhealthy issue was when I became obsessed with a celebrity from age 12-16. My room was wall-to-wall posters of this person, including one I had to kiss goodnight every night. i listened to this person's music on repeat when I slept. I spent all my money on magazines and memorabilia. I spent all my time researching them online. I even had some pretty creepy shrine like vigils. Not only was I sure I was in love with this person, I was sure I was going to end up with him. When family members made fun of him to push my buttons, I'd become violent. I wrote stories about him and me constantly. A few times, I even convinced myself I was dating him in real life through meeting impersonators online. I was so delusional about it that I even told people we were dating. When I had my first boyfriend at 15, it got a little better temporarily but I still talked to an impersonator online and even had my boyfriend convinced I knew him. (to be fair, i had someone who would send me personal artifacts of the person that I knew were his... she had met him at concerts, and there we crazy coincidences like the release of a CD on my birthday and such which really fed the delusion). When my boyfriend and I broke up, it was the impersonator whose arms I ran to and proceeded to be sure I was in a relationship with this famous person. I have told very few people about this because it still shames me to this day-- not so much shame in terms of feeling crazy, because I feel I have an understanding of why I did this... but shame in that other people who haven't experienced this can have a very, very hard time understanding why this would happen to someone. I finally overcame the obsession and have not since obsessed over a celebrity or major event around age 17... I'm now 25.

I think a big part of why I behaved this way (and I hope this rings some bells for some of you) was that I was coping with some very serious and traumatic issues/emotions underneath the surface that I was not even aware of or didn't think they effected me, until I was much older. From the research I have done on this issue, it seems that is quite common in people with these obsessions. They aren't usually "crazy" or "stalkers" or anything that unsympathetic or non-understanding people may have labeled us as, but have some legitimate feelings, care and emotions towards something/someone that they do not know how to handle. I know, in my case, I felt like a complete outsider in the world, was extremely depressed, felt like a freak... and latching on to this person gave me some kind of hope that I desperately needed to believe my life could get better. By investing that emotion in someone who wasn't actually tangible in my life, I didn't risk them letting me down, losing them, or criticism from them. My low self-esteem didn't matter, because without actually interacting with this person I could convince myself they would think highly of me. In my case, I think if I had not had this delusion (however unhealthy it was) I wouldn't have been able to make it through my teenage years. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I used this person as my escape and my safe-place from there very painful and serious issues I didn't realize were at play. In a weird way, I think it's awfully adaptive to come up with such a clever way to survive. It might not be realistic, but it probably gives you something to hold onto that you need.

What I would strongly suggest to anyone suffering from this is to seek professional help. I know how hard it can be to admit something like this to someone, but counselors understand these issues and don't judge people. Through getting it out there and being able to talk about it freely (eventually) without shame (at least with your doctor, if no one else) you can get at the heart of why this is a coping strategy for you and as such, eventually heal and treat the trigger. I, personally, think a lot of it traces to self-esteem and life-expectations. you'd be really surprised what will come out when you are allowing yourself to speak freely and explore your feelings. Also, your counselor can help you do exercises and such which can help you restructure your thought patterns. Furthermore, they would be able to possibly offer medication which could help the incidence of obsessive thoughts. Yes-- there is medication for that.

I truly wish you all the best and give you a lot of credit for being able to recognize that this is unhealthy. It took me a very, very, very long time to be able to be honest about that, myself. Try not to beat yourself up-- yeah, maybe it's not the "norm" (but what is, anyway?) but we certainly aren't the only ones. If it'd help any of you, I would be more than happy to chat with any of you about my treatment/experience via PM. Best of luck to you all!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

As you may have noticed I have posted on this thread before. I'm going through exactly the same thing, the same feelings, everything. I'm also a depressive, and I'm in a relationship with someone I love. I also see how insane my fixation is, I know I'll never be with him. I hate 'celebrity gossip' and struggle to understand why this has happened and why I can't shake it off. I'm also on citalopram and have been ok so far (my depression is largely seasonal affective disorder).

Is there some quality you thought you saw in Anne Hathaway/Emma that particularly resonated with you? My obsessions usually bloom when I see a character I particularly identify with and because they are fictional I obsess about the actor even if they're completely different in real life.

Hey :) Thanks for the reply.

You may well be right. I've always thought she was staggeringly pretty, take your breath away pretty, but have never had a 'thing' for her or fantasised about her before. I loved Emma in the film, as well as looking like Anne she was just so lovely and perfect but also a little tragic and unlucky and that appealed to my protective nature, I just wanted to give her a big hug and if she were real I imagined I would love to take care of her. Aftrr what happened in the film, the way they did it and the way they flashed back to her younger days afterward, showing her when she was young and full of hope and with no idea of what was coming, I felt sick and was devastated. I feel a little sick and am filling up writing about it.

It was after this film that I become really interested in Anne, id seen her extreme beauty was in fact quite a natural beauty and when I looked up youtube videos of her just to see what she was like as id never heard her speak. She came across as smart, witty, charming, kind, funny and somebody who was an actress not a celebrity. As a consequence I had a lot of respect for her and thought she was a wonderful woman and somebody I would love to get to know. Its that I seem to have come to this quite logically that unnerves me the most The fact that I had been aware of her before, always thought she was beautiful but never followed her like this makes me think that perhaps it was her character in One Day that brought this on and the fact that I watched the film when I wasn't quite right anyway. There's also that my lovely girlfriend sometimes reminds me of her so maybe its some kind of familiarity?

I'm trying to rationalise by asking myself these questions:

You have always thought she was flawless looking, why haven't you obsessed about her before?

What do you want to happen and why?

What really is so unique about her?

is it because she is liked, respected and her work reaches a wide audience and the world therefor knows she exists? Basically what most people, including yourself, would like?

If I manage to answer these ill let you know. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been there, and I've overcome it. I see that this thread is very long and goes back over a year, but I truly hope I can help some people suffering from what I know is an incredibly painful thing.

When the issue first presented itself, it was more minor but still kind of unusual... I was young and not yet interested in boys, so I (at least two times, majorly) became obsessed with two historical time periods. The first was the Holocaust, probably around age 7-10. I would watch hours and hours of documentaries about it, even the really graphic ones, and just cry over it and think about it all the time. For some reason, I felt some unrealistic attachment to these people and their suffering, and the injustice (even being as young as I was) sickened me.

When I was 10-11, I became obsessed with Titanic... first just the movie, and then documentaries about that. I would listen to the soundtrack and pretend I was drowning in cold water. I would run my hands under freezing faucets. I wrote stories about it. I would literally spend time isolating myself and being depressed over such a sad event.

I seemed to just eventually divert my attention elsewhere, but when it finally became a very, very big/unhealthy issue was when I became obsessed with a celebrity from age 12-16. My room was wall-to-wall posters of this person, including one I had to kiss goodnight every night. i listened to this person's music on repeat when I slept. I spent all my money on magazines and memorabilia. I spent all my time researching them online. I even had some pretty creepy shrine like vigils. Not only was I sure I was in love with this person, I was sure I was going to end up with him. When family members made fun of him to push my buttons, I'd become violent. I wrote stories about him and me constantly. A few times, I even convinced myself I was dating him in real life through meeting impersonators online. I was so delusional about it that I even told people we were dating. When I had my first boyfriend at 15, it got a little better temporarily but I still talked to an impersonator online and even had my boyfriend convinced I knew him. (to be fair, i had someone who would send me personal artifacts of the person that I knew were his... she had met him at concerts, and there we crazy coincidences like the release of a CD on my birthday and such which really fed the delusion). When my boyfriend and I broke up, it was the impersonator whose arms I ran to and proceeded to be sure I was in a relationship with this famous person. I have told very few people about this because it still shames me to this day-- not so much shame in terms of feeling crazy, because I feel I have an understanding of why I did this... but shame in that other people who haven't experienced this can have a very, very hard time understanding why this would happen to someone. I finally overcame the obsession and have not since obsessed over a celebrity or major event around age 17... I'm now 25.

I think a big part of why I behaved this way (and I hope this rings some bells for some of you) was that I was coping with some very serious and traumatic issues/emotions underneath the surface that I was not even aware of or didn't think they effected me, until I was much older. From the research I have done on this issue, it seems that is quite common in people with these obsessions. They aren't usually "crazy" or "stalkers" or anything that unsympathetic or non-understanding people may have labeled us as, but have some legitimate feelings, care and emotions towards something/someone that they do not know how to handle. I know, in my case, I felt like a complete outsider in the world, was extremely depressed, felt like a freak... and latching on to this person gave me some kind of hope that I desperately needed to believe my life could get better. By investing that emotion in someone who wasn't actually tangible in my life, I didn't risk them letting me down, losing them, or criticism from them. My low self-esteem didn't matter, because without actually interacting with this person I could convince myself they would think highly of me. In my case, I think if I had not had this delusion (however unhealthy it was) I wouldn't have been able to make it through my teenage years. I guess what I'm trying to get at is that I used this person as my escape and my safe-place from there very painful and serious issues I didn't realize were at play. In a weird way, I think it's awfully adaptive to come up with such a clever way to survive. It might not be realistic, but it probably gives you something to hold onto that you need.

What I would strongly suggest to anyone suffering from this is to seek professional help. I know how hard it can be to admit something like this to someone, but counselors understand these issues and don't judge people. Through getting it out there and being able to talk about it freely (eventually) without shame (at least with your doctor, if no one else) you can get at the heart of why this is a coping strategy for you and as such, eventually heal and treat the trigger. I, personally, think a lot of it traces to self-esteem and life-expectations. you'd be really surprised what will come out when you are allowing yourself to speak freely and explore your feelings. Also, your counselor can help you do exercises and such which can help you restructure your thought patterns. Furthermore, they would be able to possibly offer medication which could help the incidence of obsessive thoughts. Yes-- there is medication for that.

I truly wish you all the best and give you a lot of credit for being able to recognize that this is unhealthy. It took me a very, very, very long time to be able to be honest about that, myself. Try not to beat yourself up-- yeah, maybe it's not the "norm" (but what is, anyway?) but we certainly aren't the only ones. If it'd help any of you, I would be more than happy to chat with any of you about my treatment/experience via PM. Best of luck to you all!

Thanks a lot, great post, very interesting reading. I'm new to meds but will also seek counselling.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 1 month later...

I have an awful case of Celebrity Worship Syndrome. My celebrity obsessions change frequently, but the intensity of each obsession is the same and very extreme.

One time I paid $200 for a celeb's autograph and two months later I had a new obsession. I spend all day researching the person of my infatuation and they are all

I talk/think about (even when I don't want to). My latest celeb crush (We'll just call him "Bob" I don't want to use his real name) has been different though. This is the first

celebrity that I was obsessed with that I actually got to meet. Bob was really sweet and funny when I met him. We talked a bit, he gave me a hug, and I got a picture

and autograph. His friend said they were in a rush so I said goodbye and left. He said "Wait I want another hug!" My heart was racing and this was the best moment

of my life. I told Bob that I loved him and he said he loved me too. After that we started talking online which was amazing. Then we started live video chatting and things

took a turn for the worse. I would be up all night waiting for him to come on the chats. I wasn't getting much sleep. I actually fell asleep on camera and he yelled and

woke me up. My hair was all messed up I was drooling and he found it hilarious. He started to joke around in a sexual manner and I played along. Little did I know at the

time, he was recording that whole conversation. He posted part of it on youtube. I felt so stupid and humiliated!!!! I flagged the video, but youtube would not get rid of it. I tried to

contact him to get rid of the video, but I haven't got a hold of him. Now I am worried that someone I know is going to see this video and I might lose my job or something.

Lucky for me this guy is not that famous, but I'm still constantly worried about it. :sadwalk:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I just happened to come across this forum and wow! I can't believe how many people are going through the same thing I've been going through! I've been plagued with this obsessive-addictive personality throughout most of my life, and it's been tearing me apart. From as far back as I can remember, I've had obsessions with different people and things (mostly people, though). I feel these obsessions have stemmed from a need to fill a void in my life, such as a need for love, nurturing and acceptance. I don't remember receiving much love, praise or other kinds of positive attention as a child; I remember mostly pain, rebuke and punishment. So I would seek comfort by becoming attached to a certain thing, and later a person. My earliest attachments were to cartoon characters and pictures of my favorite foods or toys that I longed to have. My parents divorced when I was only seven, and I felt I was responsible for them splitting up because I was "bad." :tear2:

Since then, my fantasies and obsessions became more intense. I then developed an obsession with a couple of my favorite TV shows, going as far as writing love letters to my favorite actors (they were never sent), and even lying to the kids in my class that I was going to appear on one of these shows. By pre-adolescence, my obsessions were centered on my favorite rock musicians, all of which were male, perhaps because I was missing an older brother or father figure in my life. My mother remarried when I was 11. Soon, after I hit puberty, I started incorporating sexual fantasies with the objects of my attachment. My peers were avoiding me, thinking I was "weird," adding to my sense of isolation and loneliness. So, to combat this loneliness, I developed these delusional "relationships" with my attachments, acting as though I knew these guys, carrying on conversations and indulging in romantic fantasies with them. When my parents would walk in on me staring at pictures of these rockers, they would scold me; their inclination was to punish me so that I would stop doing it. I then learned to associate fantasies with shame and guilt, and so I would try to be more secretive as my fantasies intensified. But one day, my older sister raided my room and tore down and threw away all the posters I had on my walls. She did the same with all my album covers and magazines. She told me, "You're done living in your fantasy world! It's time for you to live in the real world!" I was crushed. I felt as though I'd gone through a terrible breakup. :cry: I felt so empty and lost. But no amount of punishment could stop me from pursuing my "love."

Unfortunately, every "love" I had turned to disappointment and heartbreak as I found out they were either married (with or without children) or in a relationship. I would be hit by this tidal wave of emotions - rejection, grief, anger, jealousy, confusion and low self-esteem - all at once. I would start comparing myself to these guys' wives or girlfriends, wondering "What do they have that I don't?" This pattern would repeat itself with every guy I became infatuated with. If I had a real boyfriend at the time, my relationships would become strained due to my obsessions. It seemed my real-life boyfriends would always fall short of my ideal because of details like hair style or color, physique, attitude, lack of musical talent, etc. I didn't think I would ever get to meet my dream lover, so I would have to settle for second-best.

There was one guy I was with for 15 years. He was the first person in my life who taught me to love and believe in myself. We were engaged, but sadly he died from an accidental drug overdose. :tear2: So I remain never-married and childless to this day. And my infatuations, fantasies and obsessions continue as well.

My latest infatuation was with a young man who is nearly 23 years younger than me (I'm almost 42 now). But he is a handsome drummer with wavy golden hair. We first met at an open mic in the Seattle area, and we became friends. I also met his family, who attended these jam sessions as well, and they treated me like I was one of them. This young man was single at the time, and I had soon developed a crush on him. But I didn't want him to think I was being too forward, so I didn't mention anything about having a crush on him. My head was telling me that he was way too young for me, but I just couldn't help my feelings. A few months later, I had to move back in with my mother in Utah due to circumstances beyond my control. I had lived in Washington for many years, and it felt like home to me. I was very sad about having to leave my "home" and all my friends behind. Then, to my horror, I recently found out that he now has a new girlfriend. I was heartbroken and devastated. :tear2: I finally admitted to being infatuated with him, and he felt bad that my heart was broken. I have had to endure such a great deal of hardship and loss in my life during the past several years (death of my fiance, having to sell my house, getting laid off from my job, bankruptcy, struggling financially, having to move away, recent heartbreak) that I actually began contemplating suicide. But I know that suicide is not the answer; I can't just throw my life away. I now realize this young man is just too young for me. But I can't let myself get discouraged. I've been staying in touch with the young man's mother, and she has been encouraging me to hang in there, that I deserve a happy life. She has been my motivation.

I was diagnosed with dysthymia in my 30s, and I have been suffering most of my life with this obsessive-addictive personality. I realize that while I'm consumed by my obsession, I end up missing out on other important things in life, like making friends with a variety of people. I am more outgoing these days than I was when I was growing up. On one hand, I enjoy having these fantasies because they make me feel good and help me get me through the days. On the other hand, it's been messing up my life. :yuck:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

So I have a girlfirend who has this same issue -- there is a celebirty that she first saw in 2008 when we went to a concert and got obsessed with her. I then wrote to this celebirty and got her a signed autographed picture from this celebrity. The next year, we went to see this same band on tour and I introduced her to the celebrity. The celebrity now know who she is, talks to her on facebook (she does talk to me as well) and essentially goes crazy anytime she gets any sort of response. She does pretty good at at hiding it from me but it isn't like I don't know...I know she doesn't wash that jacket that the celebrity hugged her when she was wearing it because it still smells like her, I know she talks to other people about her and spends hours looking up the pictures on the internet.... I guess here is my question for you all who are the same way: I get horribly jealous and don't want to. She treats me well and I love her very much. She appears to love me as well. Do I have to worry or should I learn to deal with it? Do you love your spouses any less? Is this just feeling some different need? She isn't a intimate person at all. She doesn't cuddle, sex is few and far between but she also has a family where she was once told to sit on the couch for 30 minutes as a kid because she hugged a stranger and we don't show that kind of intamacy. I know the lack of intamacy is that she doesn't know how to express it but she seems to be able to express a obsession with this celebrity. it really hurts me....talking about it leads to her telling me that she does love me and I am being silly because there is no way she can end up with the celebrity who is already in a serious long term relationship and doesn't realize she sees the celebrity that way....Thanks for your feedback. I am just trying to figure out the best way to deal with this. I love her lots and will never leave her, this is something I know I need to come with terms with this.. just wanted to know your take on it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi all. Several years after starting this topic, I am back. I am so relieved and comforted that so many others suffer from the same problem. I don't feel so alone. I managed to get control of my obsession for a little while. I changed my career, went back to school, studied, and tried to keep myself busy. Now I am back at square one. It's the same celebrity again. Over the last year, this actor has become more and more famous, so he's been hard to avoid. Some of you said some interesting things in previous posts. Someone said something about finding things in common with the person is usually what starts the obsession. This is exactly what happened in my case. I found out I had alot in common with this guy. We are both from the same country, are the same age, had no friends as a kid, bullied at school, are passionate people, appreciate the same types of music and arts, both shy, both are thought of as a bit eccentric, etc. The obsession is in full force again and it's taking over. I feel so lost. He's all I think about 24/7. And he's been talking about getting engaged to his girlfriend, which really upsets me, and it shouldn't. It's crazy! The constant googling to find out any new stuff about him is out of control. I'm too embarassed to tell my husband about this. This is so hard, I wish I could stop it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

No. I don't want to take any more antidepressants. I gained so much weight last time and I'm afraid to have it happen again. I managed to lose all the weight I gained, and it took alot of work. I cannot afford therapy right now because I just graduated from school and am looking for a job. I am hoping to try and stop this on my own if I can. Does anyone have any tips which helped? I will seek help if I'm still struggling with this in a few months. I hope to have it under control by then.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

I have had a crush on the same celebrity, "Dave," for going on 4 yrs now. Slept with him once last year, and the obsessions/fantasies/ruminations, etc have been with me constantly ever since. There is no off button for this thing. I can tell myself the same mantras and self-help talk repeatedly, but it doesn't help. I have no real-life chance with Dave, but that doesn't make it go away. Acceptance is the best tool for me. This is not going away anytime soon no matter how distracted I am, or how much mental health treatment I have. I still believe that one day (could be a very long time I know), things will get better. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have been obsessed with an actor for 3 1/2 years now, and I can honestly say that I am not ashamed to admit it, nor am I suffering from it. I'm even married too, and my husband is well aware of my feelings for this actor...is he happy about it though? Well, I don't tell him everything about how I feel for this actor, because I'm quite sure that he wouldn't be too happy about it, so some things I keep to myself. My co-workers all know about how I feel about this actor, and nobody gives me a hard time about it. I'm sure they get tired of hearing about him all the time, so I don't talk about him too much at work. My Facebook page is totally dedicated to him, and I talk about him constantly on there. I tell people up front, that if you want to be friends with me, I talk about him all the time, so if you can't handle that, then there's no point to us being friends. I'm really very happy with my obsession with Scott, and I couldn't be happier with it. Oh sure, there are times when I get depressed about his personal life, and the fact that he is married....I can't stand to see photos of them together, and I can't handle hearing about her, so I have to avoid doing searches for him online, just in case a photo of them together shows up, or an article about him might include her name in it too. I'm better off keeping the fantasy of him through his movies, especially when he was younger, as he is 69 years old now, and still acting. Of course I love the 'older' him just as much as the 'young' him, but it's the 'younger' him that I have a fantasy life with and I love it!! I truly do love him, and if there was a chance that we could be together, you bet I would jump at that! But I know it will never happen, and I'm ok with it. I would love to meet him someday, as any fan of their favorite actor would, and I almost had that chance last year when he was supposed to be at a convention in Los Angeles. I went all the way out there to go to the convention, and the day he was supposed to be there...he WASN'T!!! They said he was sick, and I was totally heartbroken over it :tear2: I thought my dream was going to come true, and I was going to meet my idol, but it wasn't meant to be. I was so angry with him for awhile, but I forgave him and I'm still in love with him! I'm not giving up hope that I'll meet him someday. I hope he's going to be somewhere this year....fingers crossed that he will be. I am very happy with my obsession, and it's not interfering with my life at all. I know that for some people, these obsessions can be very devastating for them, and I'm very sorry about that. I don't know how I could help. I just hope we can talk with each other about it. I don't want to stop obsessing over him, I love him too much to let him go. As long as I have a handle on my situation, and I totally understand that this will never be 'real life', I can deal with it. If anyone would like to talk, please feel free to message me on here. Hope to hear from someone soon :smile:

Edited by scottsgirl67
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Well in my adulthood since age 21 (I'm 28 now), I've had obsessions with Prince William, Kanye West, Dev Patel, and starting to have one on Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I don't know if this is technically OCD, a relative of mine said it was and refused to see it as a positive, even though I swear I've grown spiritually from it and my IQ has been raised some. I find that the biggest issue with this thing is people can be downright cruel about it, even the people who claim to be so open minded can be so closed minded the minute I mention anything about it. I know my life isn't completely 100% but the way I was born and brought up, it wasn't going to be that way. It's funny, I get bashed for wanting a more normal life, but I get bashed for it not being normal. People are a funny species.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've posted here before, now happy to say that at the moment I don't have an obsession. The last one lasted about 18 months and seemed to fritter away of its own accord around New Year. No idea why - circumstances hadn't changed as he's a retro crush deceased in real life. I still look at his photos occasionally but the intensity of the obsession has gone.

It's odd because otherwise I am having a very bad depressive episode due to unemployment. I've been extremely depressed for about 7 months and ordinarily this would be the time that I'd cling to obsessions to 'escape'. It seems to have gone the other way and I haven't developed a replacement object of desire either.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...