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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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@SeSa Thanks for trying to make me feel better. I'm glad things worked out for your CO...but I know it won't be like that for mine. I can't really explain anymore about the situation but there's no coming back from this. I wish he didn't have people who were so obsessed with gossiping about him. I don't think he's aware of how closely people follow him. 

Honestly, I just have no motivation to even take care of myself anymore or do anything. When I was happy with my CO, I took way better care of myself. I wish I could go back to that time when things were good.

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@scc The truth is that only your CO knows the full story of what's going on in his personal life. Those gossip blogs probably don't know much more than you do about the situation. It sounds like getting caught cheating would be extremely damaging for him, so I'm sure if he actually has cheated on his partner, he'd have been very very careful not to be found out by anyone, especially random internet gossipers.

The fact of the matter is that you just can't carry on destroying yourself worrying about something that might never happen. And I know it might not make you feel better, but like @SeSa's CO, my CO was in a really really bad situation at one point (which could have destroyed his career and life). He also got through it and eventually managed to put it behind him.

If all this stuff these blogs are saying does turn out to be true and does come to the attention of the public (and both of those things are far from a certainty), I'm not sure the fallout will be as disastrous as you imagine. I can think of at least a few celebrities off the top of my head who have done far far worse things than cheating on a partner who still have a large number of fans.

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I've just been going back to read some earlier posts and I was so interested by the comments from @CulturedGuy, @HopelessRomantic2011 and @canibesomething  (and if I forgot anyone I apologize) about this obsession being a kind of "religious" experience. This struck a real chord with me.

This is difficult to talk about because it can seem offensive to people with faith, and I don't mean to offend anyone. But in some way this does make sense of my feelings.

Obviously I know there's a disconnect between my CO as a human being with all the flaws and weaknesses that entails (see post above!) and how she exists to me in my mind. When I think of her, it's it's like a spiritual feeling that completely encompasses me. I feel small (and not in a bad way) and lifted by a special kind of energy of love towards her. She has a big personality and a unique energy that just fills me up. At bad times in my life, I know that just by thinking of her, I'll feel better.

I'm not religious, but I can recognise these same kinds of feelings when people talk about religion. In fact, some of my CO's books are a mix of autobiography and self-help, including a lot of spiritual elements that she's into like Buddhism, Hindu philosophy, meditation and transcending the ego. So she kind of gives me a path to follow in life, which is another "religious" type element.

When I met her, it was like the human and the transcendent sides came together. The physicality of her as a human being, there in front of me, talking to me, the feel of her hair and cheek against my face as she gave me a hug (wow!!!), and at the same time I felt that energy of love so strongly and the feeling of being face to face with the object of my "worship". So much so that I was in tears and could barely talk!

Of course I know however special she is to me, she's only human, and my mind is layering these thoughts and perceptions onto her, but that love and that devotion are real, and I try to follow in her footsteps spiritually, so it is definitely a kind of "religious" experience!

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@OpalP25 The thing is I don't think he was careful, if he was that gossip wouldn't exist. I honestly wouldn't be as worried and anxious about this if the gossip just said he cheated, but there's more to it that I can't explain.

I know it's awful for me to carry on like this, but I don't know how to stop. I can't stop thinking about it. It has caused me so much damage already and that is just from me worrying about this getting out. I can't imagine how I will be when it happens. I wish there was a way for me to stop caring about my CO. I can't seem to distract myself with anything. 

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11 minutes ago, scc said:

Thanks for being so understanding. This is the only place I can talk about this. Had another awful day I'm feeling so anxious.

It's the only place any of us can, @scc....we're here to support each other. :hugs:I hope you can find peace soon. 

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@Audrey822I hope I can too but with this I don't think it's possible. I need to find a way to stop caring about him and I don't know how. I never thought this would happen, things used to be so good with my CO and now everything sucks. When he posts about his gf I get even more anxious and depressed...like he doesn't even realize this could all be ruined in a second. when this gets out, I really think it will hurt me beyond repair because it will hurt him beyond repair too. 

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@scc You don't have to answer this if it would give too much away, but I'm curious to know what makes you believe that he doesn't know what you know. What makes you think he could be ruined? Is this blog that's posting stuff about him a prominent, well-known blog, or a fan girl type blog? 

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@Audrey822 I can't really say why I know he doesn't know...but If he did know he could do something that could help him not get caught and he hasn't done it. They are well known gossip blogs that posted it, and there are also blogs that like to gossip about him who hate his relationship, and when they get this it will be over. I just know everything would be ruined, no one would support him after this and people won't see him the same way anymore.

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I been talkin to this girl for the past couple weeks thru text and we finally went on our first date last night. I felt like the most boring person on earth. She's barely talked to me at all today. She is ordinary. If I can't wow someone from my dull area, how can I honestly believe I would be noticed by mila? Makes me wanna freakin die man

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My obsession is making me do crazy things...

I found out my CO managers email, and I emailed saying I would like to discuss something regarding my CO. The manager emailed back, and seemed a bit rude and unprofessional...didn't seem happy that I emailed. Basically said if I wanted to discuss something to tell them, and then to stop sending emails from here on. Now I don't even know if I should respond and I'm kind of afraid to. What will the response be if I told them about the gossip? They sounded annoyed with me and like they wanted to be left alone.This is the people he has looking out for his career...I feel like they should be aware of the things being said and try to protect him but they're obviously not. They need to do a better job. 

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@scc, remember that the manager doesn't know who you are or what your motivation is. If I were you I would just email again, and send a link to this blog, saying "I'm sure this isn't true but I think you should be aware that it's out there". Make it clear that you have nothing to do with the blog, and that you don't want anything for yourself, you are only trying to help, and that's it.

You can then rest assured that your CO's people will be on this, and that if there is a real danger, they will do whatever they can to fix the problem or minimise the damage. There will be PR professionals in the team who will know exactly how to deal with it. This will be ok, honestly! ☺

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2 hours ago, scc said:

The manager emailed back, and seemed a bit rude and unprofessional...didn't seem happy that I emailed. Basically said if I wanted to discuss something to tell them, and then to stop sending emails from here on. Now I don't even know if I should respond and I'm kind of afraid to. What will the response be if I told them about the gossip? They sounded annoyed with me and like they wanted to be left alone.This is the people he has looking out for his career...I feel like they should be aware of the things being said and try to protect him but they're obviously not. They need to do a better job. 

Seems pretty normal, try to remember that they get a TON of e-mail everyday and they're only really going to care about business opportunities. They will have developed a good sense for "time wasters" which is what it looks like to them when someone contacts them with a vague request. It may be a bit rude but it's not unprofessional. Same thing happens when you call up a CEO's assistant.

Don't bother responding, you probably wouldn't get a response at all in which case you'll just end up feeling frustrated. Also, more likely than not they're already aware of the gossip, just because they haven't released a public statement doesn't mean they don't know about it. Seems you have turned this into a white-knight fantasy of you "rescuing" your celebrity. Keep in mind that sometimes "drama" can help celebrities by making them relevant again, cheating certainly isn't something career ending (unless he's built his career around a religious community); celebrities survive cheating, legal troubles, drug abuse, mental illness, tax evasion and all kinds of other scandals on a regular basis.

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18 hours ago, canibesomething said:

I been talkin to this girl for the past couple weeks thru text and we finally went on our first date last night. I felt like the most boring person on earth. She's barely talked to me at all today. She is ordinary. If I can't wow someone from my dull area, how can I honestly believe I would be noticed by mila? Makes me wanna freakin die man

Sorry to hear, but dating can be tough. I've had three dates so far this year and none of them led to anything. I'm supposed to be meeting a new guy from a dating site this weekend but I'm not too excited about it because I know these things rarely work out. All I expect is that we'll have a pleasant conversation, some drinks, and then go our separate ways.

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@HopelessRomantic2011 I've been single for a few months now and been out of the game for six years and hooooly freakin crap girls suck even more now than they did back then. EVERYTHING is a game. 

In order for mila to notice me, Id have to be the kinda guy that would make an ordinary girl stop in their tracks just at the mere sight of me. I have no idea how to be that. It's very frustrating. Not that I look bad..my looks are pretty much the only thing that gets me dates cuz I am boring. I could feel how boring I was on this date. My ex ruined everything for me. I'll never be able to trust another person again anyway. I honestly just want a fling for the summer that's about all I can handle. 

You'd think now that I have all this freedom now that I didn't before that I'd have made some effort to communicate with my sweet mila but I just can't do it! 

You know how there's talk on here about the horror that is a celebrity's mailbox and how hard it is to make your attempt to communicate stand out cuz there's so many damn people? Well it seems with the state of the dating game in 2017, ANY girl that's a 7 or over might as well be a celebrity with the fan club they all have. Meanwhile dudes get happy if they get one friend request from a hot girl in their area. 

Why am I on such a hunt for female attention? Well, the way I see it I had BEEN suffering for years due to my condition which alot of you have seen. Once I left here awhile and my medication finally started truly doing its thing, over time, I actually started doing alot better and I was finally falling in love with my life and my family all over again. Looks like all that therapy and medication finally paid off right? Wrong cuz that's when she decided to leave. I know now that there is NO amount of time that a person can be in your life that you can say you FULLY know them. Everyone changes at the drop of a hat, it's just a question of when. Trust no one. I fought tooth and nail to overcome my problems and to keep my family and after I did all that fighting, I lost it all anyway. But, I still have how much I've grown as a person and how much my depression has subsided so I just block the last six years out and I want to share my new found happiness with somebody. I deserve that. 

I really thought once I had complete freedom that I'd do something to try to get Mila's attention but I still can't do it. The most I've managed to do that I couldn't before is I got 3 of her movies (angriest man in Brooklyn, black swan, bad moms) MONTHS ago and I gotta be wasted drunk to even get those out and once I do I turn them off halfway cuz I spend the whole time that I'm watching on the edge of my seat wondering if something is going to happen that hurts me. I just can't handle any of it but at the same time I have to have my fix.

Somebody on here recently used the term "being filled up" by seeing your CO. That is definitely the case. She makes me feel ways that I wouldn't otherwise. Sometimes a picture of her is the only thing that WILL make me feel alive. Only problem is eventually the pictures and movies and YouTube videos do the opposite to me and leave me feeling empty cuz I need her here for real and she isn't. She is the holy grail and I need the experience. I need it!

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In the off chance you ever read this mila, I know there are so many people who claim to love you but please believe that I am the one that's for real. I bury it deeper down than I used to because no one will ever understand but I am so empty without you. Please give me what I've been aching for all my life. You never know, it may be what you have been looking for too. I hope you see this one day. It's all I have to go on. OK I'm gonna go cry over you now cuz im a crazy person. Bye.

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This is my brain: MILA MILAMILAMILAMILA God it hurts me. Mila's face, her eyes, her laugh, her smile, God her body especially her legs, it's like there are over a million women out there and she manages to be the diamond in the rough out of all of them. That's why I worship her. And this is one post I hope she DOESN'T ever read lolololol I swear shed like me. We are connected.

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The crippling attractiveness of Jackie burkhart.. A TV character.. Is something only Mila could have done. If she wanted to make a TV character that made me weak in the knees, then she succeeded. And the funny thing is..if you guys knew me..I hardly ever watch TV and don't get into celebrities whatsoever. I don't even like them! It has nothing to do with that I swear. If it were up to me mila would have absolutely nothing, not even a part time job, so I could just take care of her.

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Thanks for the advice, but still debating with myself if I should email the manager back. I swear I have anxiety over everything. I'm afraid of the response, and that I could somehow make things worse...I don't have a good feeling about his management team.

I'm just so depressed because I can't look at pictures or videos or read about my CO and feel good anymore. It's not the same. I hate those blogs so much for ruining everything. The one thing in my life that made me happy is gone now. Whenever I look at him I just think about what those blogs said. I really wish it wasn't true, but I know it is. When you read about it on multiple sites there has to be some truth to it, and the more I think about it, it just adds up. There's proof out there to support it, and people will find that proof and then it's over. I'm mad that he was this stupid and careless. I wish he could have stopped himself because I know it wasn't worth it. He could have saved himself a lot of trouble, and myself. Now his career is going to be over because of this and he's going to lose everything. He's going to have to face public shame and embarrassment and lose all his fans, and friends. I know he will lose a lot of people in his life. His famous friends, and every connection he ever had in the industry will not support him...and I don't believe I'm overreacting when I say this. You don't know how he is seen in the media right now or by his fans, and everything will be destroyed. I don't want anything to change for him...I want people to love him, and for him to have fans and a successful career, but now he won't. This is going to come out, and I will be spending everyday dreading it and then when it happens I'm scared of what I will do. I have been sleeping so much because it's the only way I don't think about this, and even then sometimes I have dreams about it. If I could take some magic drug to make me forget I would take it right now.

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@scc Under these circumstances, I don't see how it could possibly make things worse if you emailed the manager back.  Just be sure to include all of the details in this follow-up email...don't leave anything out, don't be vague at all; say everything you want the manager to know, cover all of your concerns in this follow-up email....be sure that after you've sent that email, you've said everything you can possibly say so that your conscience will be clear.  

But remember:  there's no guarantee your email will be welcomed by the recipient.  You may still get a reply that's less than gracious or appreciative....or you may get no reply at all.  Don't let that concern you.  You will have put the information in the right hands, and you will know you've done everything you could do.   It will up to his manager at that point to do what needs to be done.  If no action is taken, do not continue to allow your anxiety to increase over it.  You have to let it go.  

I want to ask you something.  I went back to read some of your early posts....I noticed something I should have noticed before (sorry, I was a little out of sorts myself on the day you posted this)

Quote

My depression and anxiety got much worse after one of those blindgossip sites published something meant to be about my CO. 

Are you worried about some anonymous rumor that you assume is about your CO?  

Even if this is about your CO, and the rumor is true....you have to accept the fact that your CO is a grown man, an adult, and he has to assume the responsibility for whatever it was he did that could have ruined his reputation, his career, etc. himself.  You do not carry this burden alone.  

I just saw your response come in while I was writing this.  I'm so glad you're going to get the help (medication) you probably need. :hugs:That will be a tremendous help to you.  

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