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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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I read these blogs that hate on my CO and I just stress myself out, get anxious and more upset. I don't know why I do this. I feel like something horrible is going to happen soon that they won't recover from and his career will be over. All that time I spent on them will be for nothing. I will be the only one left. His image is ok right now but that could all be destroyed in a second and he could lose everything. There are people who want this and they will win. This is why my CO no longer brings me happiness, I know it will end badly and feel like I am just anxious and waiting for that to happen now. It's just a matter of when. I can't even explain what I am talking about or who, I know I sound crazy. I hate this feeling. I want it to stop.

Edited by scc
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8 hours ago, canibesomething said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 thank you so much for FINALLY pointing out that the obsession Christians have is of the same nature.

I think there are definitely similarities. If I felt the same way about religion as I do about my CO, I'd be very devout and a regular churchgoer. I went to a Christian school for many years, but I've never really been into religion and I'm still not. I don't see a problem with it though as long as you aren't forcing your beliefs on anyone else.  I understand that people believe in religion because they need to feel like there's a reason why we're all here. It can be pretty hopeless to feel like there's no point to your existence, so we all have to find a purpose in something.

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@scc You really have to start avoiding these hate blogs... I know you know that already, and it's much easier said than done. Before you click on them, you could try thinking to yourself: "How will reading this make me feel? Will it just make me feel worse?"

By the way, I can totally relate to this issue. My CO is a professional athlete and I do have a bit of a "thing" about other fans of the sport comparing him unfavourably to other players (i.e. I get p!ssed off lol.) I know now that it's best to avoid reading certain forum topics, etc. and I've got better at sticking to that. It can take time though.

@canibesomething Do you think you could maybe write down all these thoughts in a journal, like I suggested to you before? This really isn't the right place.

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Sure. I don't know why I came back here honestly. I came back here to have people make a big deal about my posts when I'm just releasing like anyone else here (for the first time in over a year soooo sorry) and have the one GIF I've EVER posted here be removed when for HOW LONG I was saying stuff to the mods about all the pictures for months and of course it wasn't a big deal. Yeah I'll write all my thoughts down in a journal and then you can all shove it up your *****. I told myself I'd never come back here. If I wasn't too drunk one night I wouldn't have. Instead of writing my thoughts in a journal, I'll instead find another thread with people that don't suck. You seem to forget that I suffer from the same thing you guys do. You don't want to send a public message to your CO..fine. You're all just mad that I have the best chances of getting my CO cuz well..I do quite well with the girls. It's just hard to care cuz they're not mila. Remove my GIF whatever.. I never should have shown her to any of you anyway. Later.

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I exclude @HopelessRomantic2011from my above post as she didn't judge me for my comments. I'm sure my above post is gonna get me banned but whatever. The only reason I'll ever come back here is to rub it in everyone's face when I hang out with mila and I find out that she would like me. When everyone was triggering me, no one got banned. Later.

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Alright I was more hostile than I wanted to be. I don't mean the stuff I said. Just tired of being the "black sheep" of the obsession thread. I've actually managed to make it quite an enjoyable thing for me now that the backstabber is gone. I know mila was put on this planet for me and I'll never let anyone tell me otherwise. I'll be back sometime if I don't get banned but I really can't make this place a regular part of my life again.

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19 minutes ago, canibesomething said:

Sure. I don't know why I came back here honestly. I came back here to have people make a big deal about my posts when I'm just releasing like anyone else here (for the first time in over a year soooo sorry) and have the one GIF I've EVER posted here be removed when for HOW LONG I was saying stuff to the mods about all the pictures for months and of course it wasn't a big deal. Yeah I'll write all my thoughts down in a journal and then you can all shove it up your *****. I told myself I'd never come back here. If I wasn't too drunk one night I wouldn't have. Instead of writing my thoughts in a journal, I'll instead find another thread with people that don't suck. You seem to forget that I suffer from the same thing you guys do. You don't want to send a public message to your CO..fine. You're all just mad that I have the best chances of getting my CO cuz well..I do quite well with the girls. It's just hard to care cuz they're not mila. Remove my GIF whatever.. I never should have shown her to any of you anyway. Later.

I can't speak for anyone else, but I doubt your GIF was reported.  We used to get away with posting photos (at the time you were complaining about it) but about 3-4 months ago the mods started enforcing the rule.  It applies to all of us, you weren't singled out. 

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Will probably regret this post, but I can't sleep and feel like I need to get it off my chest. Gossip blogs have said my CO used to cheat a lot. The thing is they said it in a way this could be proven true. There are some people out there who hate him and his relationship, and if they get a hold of this they will be overjoyed and will do what they can to expose it. The people who have hated him will win and that kills me. I feel like I'm just waiting for this to get out and for everything to be destroyed. Everything will be ruined for him. People won't see him the same way anymore. His fans, famous friends, everyone will abandon him, be disgusted, and he will be alone...I will be the only one left. His image will be ruined and his career will be over. I don't know what I will do with myself when this happens. I have spent years with this obsession...it can't end like this. I can't witness his career and life be ruined. Some of you are probably thinking he deserves it if it's true, but I don't think he could do anything to make me stop loving him. That probably sounds crazy but that is just how deep my obsession is. I want to protect him no matter what and I just feel helpless. I feel this connection to him, and this is destroying me. It's horrible feeling like this everyday, thinking today is the day his career will be over. The sad thing is my CO used to be the only thing to bring happiness in my life and distract me from everything, now it's causing me constant stress, anxiety and my depression has hit an all time low.

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@scc  

When you say he used to cheat a lot, do you mean on his current partner? I can guarantee that if those rumours are out there at all, then he and his partner have heard about them. They might be choosing to ignore the rumours, perhaps because they know they're not true. Even if we imagine for a moment that the cheating rumours are true, are you sure this would ruin everything for him? Couldn't he bounce back from something like that? I don't think that everyone would abandon him. It seems like you are jumping to the worst possible conclusions about all this, and it's only causing you more pain than is necessary. I hate to say it, but celebrities cheat on their partners all the time and it doesn't permanently ruin their careers. 

Edit: I should clarify - I didn't mean this to come across as insensitive. I just wanted to offer a different perspective because I think it would take so much more than a cheating rumour to ruin your CO's career. I don't want you thinking the worst and having no one to tell you that it might not be as big of a deal as you think it is. I'm sorry you're suffering so much over all this, and I understand that it would suck to find out he cheated. 

Edited by posie_riot
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@posie_riot used to on his current partner, but gossip said he cheated in his last relationship too. I never wanted to believe it, but I'm afraid it could be true and people can/will find who he cheated with(it's possible) I don't think he knows this is out there, and I'm afraid he will be completely blindsided. I also don't think he could bounce back from this. I really do believe it will ruin everything for him and people will abandon him. People will be shocked and disgusted with him and he will be publicly shamed and embarrassed. If it's true I don't think his friends, famous or otherwise, know about it, and I just imagine they will not look at him the same anymore and he will lose them. He will lose his fans. His jobs. His career will be done. I won't be able to stand seeing this happen to him. I know it sounds like I'm overreacting, but I don't think I am. I just hate this so much, because I can never be happy with my CO again because I'm constantly worrying about this. I know this will get out one day, I'm just waiting for it. I wish I could stop caring, and I wish I never had this obsession. It has ruined me.

 

Edited by scc
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Quite a few of my CO's fans aren't so happy with him right now. There have been rumors for months that he's been dating someone who they don't approve of. I chose not to believe the rumors until we actually had proof, but now several pictures of them on vacation together just came out so fans are mad. lol Honestly, I'm doing ok. It's his life and he can do what he wants. However, I have become disheartened that his band is not making any progress with releasing tour dates for my country. Though I really wanted to see them live, it looks like I may have to accept that it won't be happening anytime soon. Or maybe not ever.

Meanwhile, my other favorite band (and ex-CO) are still a bright spot in my life, even though I've sort of abandoned them a bit during the past 9 months that I've been completely obsessed with my current CO and his band. I don't regret getting into another band, but recent events that have unfolded make me realize how good things were with the other band. They've been making me happy for 20 years now and while I can't say with certainty that they'd NEVER disappoint me, I have more confidence about who they are as musicians and people. They've never made me feel like supporting them was a waste of my time, so I am grateful for that.

In other news, I have my second therapy appointment later today, and I don't think I'll be discussing this CO stuff with her, but I'll let you know if it ever comes up.

Edited by HopelessRomantic2011
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@scc you really need to give yourself a break, Hon. You're experiencing extreme OCD symptoms with regard to checking your CO's social media, all the "hate blogs"...etc. I know...been there, done that. Not exactly the same, but I have OCD, and I wasn't always able to stop myself from going places on the Internet that might cause me to stumble upon something about my CO I wouldn't want to see...and once in a while, I got burned doing exactly that. I finally spoke to my therapist about the problem and she gave me some good advice I'll share with you: where OCD is concerned, you have to be mindful of separating the "O" from the "C".... meaning, you have this obsession to do something.  It might be (for some people with classic OCD) worrying that the doors are locked...you want to check, worrying your hands are clean...you want to wash them. For us, we're wondering if there's any news about our CO's (for me, it was new photos) so we want to check. The "C" is that compulsive urge to check. That needs to be separated from the obsession. You do this by distracting yourself. Go for a walk. Take a nice bubble bath. Play with your dog or cat. Make a cup of tea and read a book.  Watch a movie or play a video game. Keep doing things until the urge passes. Rinse and repeat. Don't give up....but if you slip, don't beat yourself up. Get up and start over.

I read one of your posts a couple of weeks ago wondering if meds might help you. I would encourage you to seek the advice of a mental health professional for assessment about that. I've been on antidepressants for over 15 years, and I take anxiety meds as needed. I'm not at all embarrassed to admit that. I couldn't cope without them. If you need help, ask for it. Only a professional can say for certain if you need meds, but if you do, they will make a dramatic difference.

Finally, I'll share something my therapist said to me two days ago about unsubstantiated rumors. I was surprised that she said this to me after all the discussions we had about "acceptance" just one year ago...but that was different. That was about a known fact. This problem I brought to her on Wednesday was definitely in the "unsubstantiated rumor" category. She told me: if it can't be confirmed, let it go...and stop working so hard trying to confirm it. Stay away from all sites that might confirm it in the future. This was for the sake of my own mental health...and I gotta tell all of you...that one piece of advice coming from a mental health professional, my therapist, feels like a huge weight lifted from my shoulders. The same advice applies here, @scc...gossip sites gotta gossip. Don't fall into the trap. Chances are, they're pushing lies. Stay away from those sites...they're garbage; they're the worst thing for you. 

Hugs :hugs:

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@Audrey822 I can't give myself a break. It sucks that a person who has made me happy, is now the cause of my depression being at it's worst. It's hard to stop myself from checking up on him or other sites to see what people are saying. I'm just waiting for the day it gets out. He's probably oblivious about this, and I just want to warn him or let him know so he's not blindsided by anything. I even found his email and was thinking about sending him an email that is how desperate I am. I can't stand feeling like this everyday. I've noticed everything I worry about eventually happens.

I realize I probably need to go on medication, but that would mean I would have to leave my house and talk to someone which I don't want to do. I'm too embarrassed, ashamed and depressed to get myself to do anything.



 

 

Edited by scc
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I know it's hard @scc. I've been where you are, and I'll have to hold my breath from now that certain news doesn't find me. It's a real, constant struggle. But your mental health is worth it. 

Chances are, your CO is not oblivious to this situation. Celebrities have agents responsible for staying on top of what's being said about them in media... they have a certain image to maintain and manage. Trust me, they know about this.  You can relax...they'll handle what needs to be handled.

As for being embarrassed to speak to a mental health professional, there's absolutely no need. I assure you, what you're going through is not the worst or most bizarre thing any of them have heard and they're there to help us. That's their job...they won't judge you. 😊

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@Audrey822 I believe he is oblivious. I don't think he has a good agent or management who looks out for him unfortunately. I doubt they know about it. I would probably do a better job. I have an emailed typed up that I'm debating sending him. I know it's probably crazy to send it, but I would think it's better for him to know than be blindsided by anything. There's also a chance it's not really his email, and I don't want anyone else but him to see it.

I know a mental health professional won't judge, but I'm still ashamed, and the truth is I haven't left my house in ages so even thinking about doing that is giving me anxiety. 

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4 minutes ago, scc said:

@Audrey822 I believe he is oblivious. I don't think he has a good agent or management who looks out for him unfortunately. I doubt they know about it. I would probably do a better job. I have an emailed typed up that I'm debating sending him. I know it's probably crazy to send it, but I would think it's better for him to know than be blindsided by anything. There's also a chance it's not really his email, and I don't want anyone else but him to see it.

I know a mental health professional won't judge, but I'm still ashamed, and the truth is I haven't left my house in ages so even thinking about doing that is giving me anxiety. 

So it sounds like sending the email won't necessarily relieve your anxiety if you're not really sure it's him because then you'll be worried that you revealed the information to someone else. So is it going to make you feel better to take a chance and send it or not send it?  Are you going to feel bad if you don't get any response?

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@HopelessRomantic2011 That's true. I will have anxiety no matter what. If I send it I will worry there's a chance it's not him who is getting the email. What if it's someone who will spread that information further? I do believe there's a good chance it is his, but I will still have that worry. I wouldn't expect a response from him if it's him, I just want him to read it. 

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@scc On this site, you should be able to find the official fanmail address for your CO:

*link removed*

Though of course the likelihood of getting a personal response depends on the level of fame of the celebrity in question. If your CO's an A-lister, it's probably unlikely that he'll read his fanmail himself. But the addresses on the site are definitely legit, so it could be something to keep in mind.

Edited by Natasha1
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I know his fanmail address, but that would require me to leave my house to mail it...and I would have to explain to my mom who I'm mailing a letter to and I can't do that. 

I realize that I live vicariously through them. If anything bad happens it's like it is happening to me too. With all my time and dedication put into this obsession, and how long I've followed and loved them, I can't stand sitting around waiting to see that destroyed. I used to talk, and post about him with other fans, but now I've stopped. I can no longer do that knowing it's all about to be ruined and those fans will leave. He will disappear and I will have nothing. I just imagine how he will feel after and it kills me, he will lose everything. I know I sound like I'm overreacting, but I'm not. I just see him having a good time, and it hurts knowing he's unaware it could all blow up in a second. I can't believe a blog will be the cause of his career and life being ruined. I no longer have any happiness in my life and I never will again because of this. My CO used to be the only thing I had that made me happy.

I'm sorry for ranting so much, I'm just having a hard time. I never thought this would be my life. I wish I could go back to the way things were.
 

Edited by scc
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I feel like it just gets worse everyday. I spent all day and night reading blogs where they talk about my CO and I feel so awful and anxious. I can't do this everyday. This is the lowest I have ever felt. 

Edited by scc
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@scc, please believe me that he can and will get through this!

Let me tell you about my CO. Years ago, before I was even interested in her, she was caught cheating on her husband, and a tabloid had topless pics of her with the other guy. At the same time, she was massively in debt - as in, millions of pounds! She got divorced. It was a horrible time for her but she got through it. She wrote an autobiography about her experiences, she went on chat shows, she basically said "I'm human and I've made mistakes, but I'm moving on with my life". This was actually the start of the next phase of her career, and if anything she got more popular - more books, TV shows, product endorsements, etc. And in fact, if you ask her fans, they would all say that going through tough times and owning her mistakes, and COMING BACK STRONGER is part of why we love her and are inspired by her!

There was also another more recent "scandal", which was tough for her, but in the end she was able to turn things to her advantage with a book and TV show that came out of it, and her fans stood by her.

Famous people have the disadvantage that anything like this happens in public, which must be hard to deal with. But at the same time, they have the possibility to use even bad things as a kind of springboard for future career developments.

And one more thing - I hope you can try to go out, just to the park, the mall, wherever. Get some air, some exercise, some space to think. And talking to a professional about your mental health is a good thing and a normal thing. Hang on in there, your CO will get through this, and just as importantly, so will you!

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