Jump to content

Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


Recommended Posts

1 hour ago, urivgirl86 said:

I do genuinely like Taylor Swift. She's pretty, talented and seems like a really nice person who does give back generously to many others. I admire her for staying true to herself along her success.

I was just expressing how at times I feel this rise up in me but it's a feeling of insecurity at myself. Others respond to folks on Facebook of people they knew, I respond with a woman three years younger than me who is the biggest female artist in the world at $250 million dollars no pressure.

We all go through bouts and it always seems as the grass is greener but I know she's just a normal person who has a different job & lifestyle - that's all it is. It just makes me feel like no matter what I can never reach that in my own way - it's not realistic.

Fame is fleeting and it's easy to look at others and only see the success without seeing the sacrifice it takes to make it & stay in the game I'm not better then her she's not better then me just different.

I'm sick of this notion of how if you're not married or had kids you're nothing. In Taylor Swift world that's not even an issue.

In the real world of basic people who have real jobs all you talk about is work or relationships / marriage / kids and there is so much more to life then that. How can one be happy being that for the rest of your life? That seems like hell.

I don't want to be in a box until I have to go in a box. Get my drift? Why would I settle for a basic life when I could have been a brand. It's not a realistic career though. It's not even that.

I agree with you that once you get into your 30s, it seems like everyone around you is married with kids and that's pretty much all there is to life. My relatives and coworkers talk about their children and make Facebook posts about them constantly, and to be honest, I don't envy them at all. I'm sure it can be a wonderful experience to have children, but I've gone so long without having them that I don't really feel like it's for me. For one, I'm extremely lazy. I do absolutely nothing when I come home from work! lol If I had kids and a husband, I'd have to cook and clean and put other people's needs and desires before my own. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing to do that, but it would be a major lifestyle change for me. Right now, I only have to take care of myself and my cat. I'd have to really be in love with someone to want to just change everything. Now sure, I like the idea of marriage and kids with my CO, but with a regular man that I actually have a chance of being with? Probably not. I've never been in love with anyone who I was dating, so it's just hard to imagine. So sure, I feel left out because I don't have the kind of life that most people around me have, but then I also don't really want it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@HopelessRomantic2011 I see both sides here. I'm not in love with this man I married. Those who know my story know why. 4 years ago I analyzed my life, and I've been doing so ever since. I've reached the conclusion that it's very possible the only man I ever could have loved is my CO. Any other man would have had to compete with him, and come out unfavorably. He's been in my imagination for very close to 50 years now. I've only been married almost 40 years. I tried to move on. I really did. It didn't stick. My CO came back into my thoughts when I saw his band in concert just about 5 years after I was married, and hasn't left since. When I rediscovered his music 4 years ago, my devotion to him was intensified....I realized I love him, and I realized I always have. 

I don't regret getting married though. Here's why: the best thing that EVER happened to me came as the result of my marriage. I'm speaking of my twin sons, now adults. Let me tell you....I was not completely on board with the idea of having children all along. I was coming up on mid-30's and enduring all the intrusive questions from family and friends because we'd been married quite a while by then. But I know myself... I would have let it get by, and then regret the decision NOT to have children after it was too late. So I decided I'd better go for it, ready or not. The pregnancy was awful, but once I laid eyes on them, after they were born, I've never regretted one minute of that decision. In fact, my life would have sucked without them (hat tip Kelly Clarkson.) 

One more thing...I'm not one to put every move they make on Facebook though. I have friends and family members who do that. ? My sons would shoot me if I did!! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

45 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I see both sides here. I'm not in love with this man I married. Those who know my story know why. 4 years ago I analyzed my life, and I've been doing so ever since. I've reached the conclusion that it's very possible the only man I ever could have loved is my CO. Any other man would have had to compete with him, and come out unfavorably. He's been in my imagination for very close to 50 years now. I've only been married almost 40 years. I tried to move on. I really did. It didn't stick. My CO came back into my thoughts when I saw his band in concert just about 5 years after I was married, and hasn't left since. When I rediscovered his music 4 years ago, my devotion to him was intensified....I realized I love him, and I realized I always have. 

I don't regret getting married though. Here's why: the best thing that EVER happened to me came as the result of my marriage. I'm speaking of my twin sons, now adults. Let me tell you....I was not completely on board with the idea of having children all along. I was coming up on mid-30's and enduring all the intrusive questions from family and friends because we'd been married quite a while by then. But I know myself... I would have let it get by, and then regret the decision NOT to have children after it was too late. So I decided I'd better go for it, ready or not. The pregnancy was awful, but once I laid eyes on them, after they were born, I've never regretted one minute of that decision. In fact, my life would have sucked without them (hat tip Kelly Clarkson.) 

One more thing...I'm not one to put every move they make on Facebook though. I have friends and family members who do that. ? My sons would shoot me if I did!! 

Same with my mom. Even though she's never really been in love with my dad, she always wanted a child so I guess she thinks that having me was worth it even though he's been getting on her nerves for the last 30+ years. Of course, I've been getting on her nerves too since I act a lot like my dad. She thought I'd come out with her personality, but it didn't work out that way! haha You have to be careful who you decide to have children with.

Also, I didn't realize that your sons are twins... I hope the fact that my COs are twins and I have fantasies about both of them doesn't creep you out too much. lol Sorry about that! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@HopelessRomantic2011....nah, that doesn't creep me out at all!!  Ever since I had twins it's funny....I notice twins everywhere.  And I would have been completely oblivious to that before (I'm an only child...what a culture shock for me! LOL) 

Some of the things you're saying about your mother sound like mine...mine was a classic narcissist.  She took it personally that I didn't come out as a "mini me" version of her.  Of course, that's the last thing I would have done. :cheesy:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011....nah, that doesn't creep me out at all!!  Ever since I had twins it's funny....I notice twins everywhere.  And I would have been completely oblivious to that before (I'm an only child...what a culture shock for me! LOL) 

Some of the things you're saying about your mother sound like mine...mine was a classic narcissist.  She took it personally that I didn't come out as a "mini me" version of her.  Of course, that's the last thing I would have done. :cheesy:

Great! I'm glad to hear that. I mean, I've had COs in the past who were brothers, but never twins before. But they're very different and easy to tell apart, so it's not too weird...at least that's what I keep telling myself!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@urivgirl86 Yeah, I know what you mean about feeling like other people view you as worthless for not being married/having kids. That's not yet the case for me (I'm 21), but I definitely feel judged at times for being single. I think that's partly down to my own insecurities, but I have had "friends" making not so nice comments about how I need to find a boyfriend. Turns out those sorts of people aren't really friends at all; they just want to boost their own confidence by making others feel bad about themselves.

To be honest, I have quite a cynical view of couples. A lot of relationships seem to be more of a lifestyle choice or status symbol, rather than an genuine bond based off passionate and romantic love. Nowhere is this more apparent than in the couples of my own family, lol. It makes me feel like a really awful and selfish person sometimes for wanting so much more than what all my relatives are perfectly content with. However, I'm 100% sure I want to have kids in the future, and I realise I may have to eventually compromise on my plan of "marrying my true love" and settle for someone more attainable in order to have a family. I suppose that's the way things are for a lot of people... it's just most people have a much easier job accepting it.

But the truth is, we can't help what our heart wants. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all for not wanting to be put into a box and for wanting more than just a basic life. But it sounds like you haven't quite decided what exactly it is you want in life... I think once you've figured that out, everything will seem a lot clearer to you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have recently started to think that settling might be better than nothing.  I recently read an article on the subject which said it's better to get some of the things you want than nothing at all.  Being idealistic about relationships and other things in life like careers, hasn't got me far.

I was a teenager in the '90s when we were encouraged by society to be independent career women.  Most boys I knew were horrible, and I had a best friend who wanted to be a vet and couldn't the stand boys we knew either.  The message from society was to find the perfect career, travel etc before even thinking about marriage and kids.

Later on in my 20s, I had a new group of friends who were content to settle down young with not very desirable men, do boring jobs and live in the middle of nowhere.  I swore I would not be like them, I would never settle.

I have not got very far on the career front.   I tried many different careers/courses and I did a degree in my 30s, but have been stuck in temp work since.  I have never had any financial security and get very lonely, especially around Christmas as my family aren't supportive.  I  am starting to think these settlers I knew had the right idea.  Careers aren't guaranteed however hard you work and friends can't be there all the time.  A friend recently said she would like to meet up, but I haven't heard anything for a while.

It seems like the only way to have regular company and financial security is to be in a relationship.  Even single people in well paid jobs struggle.  But as I haven't dated for an incredibly long time, it's not going to be easy. 

 

Edited by Bittersweet4
Link to comment
Share on other sites

44 minutes ago, Bittersweet4 said:

I have recently started to think that settling might be better than nothing.  I recently read an article on the subject which said it's better to get some of the things you want than nothing at all.  Being idealistic about relationships and other things in life like careers, hasn't got me far.

I was a teenager in the '90s when we were encouraged by society to be independent career women.  Most boys I knew were horrible, and I had a best friend who wanted to be a vet and couldn't the stand boys we knew either.  The message from society was to find the perfect career, travel etc before even thinking about marriage and kids.

Later on in my 20s, I had a new group of friends who were content to settle down young with not very desirable men, do boring jobs and live in the middle of nowhere.  I swore I would not be like them, I would never settle.

I have not got very far on the career front.   I tried many different careers/courses and I did a degree in my 30s, but have been stuck in temp work since.  I have never had any financial security and get very lonely, especially around Christmas as my family aren't supportive.  I  am starting to think these settlers I knew had the right idea.  Careers aren't guaranteed however hard you work and friends can't be there all the time.  A friend recently said she would like to meet up, but I haven't heard anything for a while.

It seems like the only way to have regular company and financial security is to be in a relationship.  Even single people in well paid jobs struggle.  But as I haven't dated for an incredibly long time, it's not going to be easy. 

 

 I guess everyone has to make whatever decision is right for them. Being in a relationship is no guarantee of financial security though, especially if you end up marrying someone who's bad with money. You could end up financially worse off than you were as a single person. Luckily, I've never struggled financially while single and I hope that continues. I'm prepared to be single forever because I can't settle for a man who I don't really want just so that I won't be alone. And I absolutely can't force myself to be physically intimate with someone who I don't truly desire in that way, so it just wouldn't work for me at all.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've had a late night watching YouTube videos.  People say things like 'this song takes me back to when times were good'.  Life was never really good for me.  Bullied as a kid by local kids, because my dad was disabled and we were different.  Then when I moved, being bullied again over how I looked, and that continued into my 20s.  I got into debt borrowing money to improve how I looked (nose job and teeth straightening).  And into further debt because jobs didn't pay enough.  I went to university to study a professional health course, only to be told I didn't have the right personality for a health care job.  Constant financial insecurity and a family who don't care.  

I don't feel I have anything to live for.  I have tried my best and it is never good enough.  At least if I had a decent job and money it would be something, but most well paid jobs want someone who is extrovert and chatty which I'm not.

My CO was a bit of escapism, but even that was ruined when I found out what he was like.  I drink most evenings and sometimes smoke, but I don't see the point in giving up, I don't want to live a long life anyway.  People say life is great be positive, but I don't see a future, it's just constant stress and loneliness.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not much of a chatty person myself. When I was younger kids would always make fun of me for whatever reason and at the time I thought to myself: I'll show you all one day. I'm going to be famous & Usher's going to fall in love with me then you'll think differently . I was clearly out of mind about so many differences about age, race, maturity. I guess I was young.

I was a teenager then. It's kind of weird that he's only eight years older than me and it still seems like a big difference but yet not.

I'm grateful for my life regardless. It could be much worse though.

 

Edited by urivgirl86
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Bittersweet4 I agree that sometimes settling can be better than nothing. I suppose it depends on what your priorities are. Someone who's never been a romantic but who really wants kids & financial security would probably not have an issue with settling for a nice, reliable person who doesn't set their world on fire. I think the idea of having it all (true love, happy family, financial stability, dream career, etc.) is unfortunately fairly unattainable for most people.

At this stage in my life, I've got my heart absolutely set on finding "the one" (a big part of the reason why I've ended up with this CO issue, lol). It's become very apparent that my dream career is highly unlikely to ever be anything more than a hobby for me. This has been really difficult to come to terms with... but part of me feels like if I'm not destined to ever achieve that particular dream of mine, I will be destined, instead, to eventually find true love. Which I know makes no sense, and isn't really how the universe works... However, I think there will come a time when starting a family will become my main priority. If I haven't been lucky in love by that point, I may have to reconsider what I'm willing to accept in a relationship.

I agree with HopelessRomantic that you should make whatever decision feels right for you. If you think that having a relationship with someone you're not in love with, but who you can get on well with and who has many good qualities, could make you happier than you are now, you may very well be right. It could be a good idea to try a bit of dating, without any serious expectations. I can understand that that's a pretty scary step to take though.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 4/14/2017 at 10:36 PM, Bittersweet4 said:

I've had a late night watching YouTube videos.  People say things like 'this song takes me back to when times were good'.  Life was never really good for me.  Bullied as a kid by local kids, because my dad was disabled and we were different.  Then when I moved, being bullied again over how I looked, and that continued into my 20s.  I got into debt borrowing money to improve how I looked (nose job and teeth straightening).  And into further debt because jobs didn't pay enough.  I went to university to study a professional health course, only to be told I didn't have the right personality for a health care job.  Constant financial insecurity and a family who don't care.  

I don't feel I have anything to live for.  I have tried my best and it is never good enough.  At least if I had a decent job and money it would be something, but most well paid jobs want someone who is extrovert and chatty which I'm not.

My CO was a bit of escapism, but even that was ruined when I found out what he was like.  I drink most evenings and sometimes smoke, but I don't see the point in giving up, I don't want to live a long life anyway.  People say life is great be positive, but I don't see a future, it's just constant stress and loneliness.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling down. I'm generally depressed all the time too but I don't even really think of it as depression because it's just my normal state of being. Sundays (like today) are the hardest for me because I know the work week starts tomorrow and I hate my job. And it's a decent job but I still hate it, so then I have to feel bad about myself for not really being grateful for it. I often feel like I don't have much to live for either, so I can relate.

Also, today being a holiday depressed me too. I don't celebrate Easter so it's been a pretty boring day for me. I mowed the lawn but other than that, I didn't do anything remotely productive. I don't smoke at all and I drink very little, but I do eat junk food a lot. I ate four cupcakes this weekend which isn't unusual, but I always feel guilty about it. I've been lucky to be the kind of person that can just eat whatever without gaining much weight, but now that I'm in my mid-30s, I should probably stop that! I know I want to look my best if/when I see my COs, but since they haven't announced the tour dates yet, I'm not really motivated to start dieting and working out. They said maybe they'd come towards the end of the year so I figured I still have time to eat cupcakes. But once I know exactly if/when I'm going to see them, it's just going to be salads and dry, skinless, flavorless chicken breast for every single meal. And jogging  even though I never jog... And I'll actually start using my kettle bell instead of just letting it sit around and collect dust like it's doing right now! Yup. I'm going to become a whole new person when they announce these tour dates. ??

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi everyone, I have been feeling down today and was going to post something on facebook, but I thought I'd come here instead.

I usually volunteer at a food shelter on Sundays and I did today.  It made me feel better for a while, but when I come home my problems are still there.  My main problem is finances.  Like I said before, I have never really had any security.  In my 20s, I had a long term job, but it was in an expensive area, so I ended up having to borrow money to get by, as landlords would not accept benefits.  Then I got into more debt going to university and doing insecure temp work.  I am behind with the rent and scared.  It seems like all the hard work I have done has been for nothing.  As I said I do drink but I don't spend much money on anything else. There seems to be no end to the hardship.  

I can't see things getting better, as I don't think I can handle a responsible job like being a manager.  I have taken low paid jobs before because I thought I had to make the safe choice, as my family have refused to help me financially.   If I had taken a higher paid job, it might not have worked out and I may have ended up destitute.  

I have also been homeless a couple of times in the past, once when I was working full time!  I can't take the stress any more and the lack of hope of having any of the things I want.  I really think I would be better off dead, I'm not being crazy, just realistic - no money, family, pets, holidays.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi gang, me again,

Thank you all who said kind words about my mom passing.

Well, anyway, back to Reina. It's been over a year since I discovered her. The feelings I have for her haven't changed. I'm surprised I haven't gotten bored of her. But I don't. I still get that craving for her every time I see her.  

Another thing which relates to Reina. Recently I've gotten big into anti aging. Getting older is horrible and I will fight it every inch of the way. Of course you have to eat right and work out. This goes without saying. There's just a lot more to this than eating right and working out.  So I started taking a supplement which I read about. Glycine. *link removed* Anyway, I started taking this and I feel much better, in fact I feel younger. I have more energy. So how does this relate to Reina? She looks better to me now, if that's possible. It's like I'm a kid again having my first crush. She looks so wonderful and exciting. It's almost like I'm looking at her with new eyes. I have this child like infatuation and adult attraction going on intertwined with each other.  It's wonderful most of the time.  I just hope this new supplement continues to work.  So far so good.  Reina time is better because of it. 

Since my mom is gone now, it's time for me to start posting here again. 

Edited by Natasha1
Link in violation of ToS
Link to comment
Share on other sites

6 hours ago, Bittersweet4 said:

Hi everyone, I have been feeling down today and was going to post something on facebook, but I thought I'd come here instead.

I usually volunteer at a food shelter on Sundays and I did today.  It made me feel better for a while, but when I come home my problems are still there.  My main problem is finances.  Like I said before, I have never really had any security.  In my 20s, I had a long term job, but it was in an expensive area, so I ended up having to borrow money to get by, as landlords would not accept benefits.  Then I got into more debt going to university and doing insecure temp work.  I am behind with the rent and scared.  It seems like all the hard work I have done has been for nothing.  As I said I do drink but I don't spend much money on anything else. There seems to be no end to the hardship.  

I can't see things getting better, as I don't think I can handle a responsible job like being a manager.  I have taken low paid jobs before because I thought I had to make the safe choice, as my family have refused to help me financially.   If I had taken a higher paid job, it might not have worked out and I may have ended up destitute.  

I have also been homeless a couple of times in the past, once when I was working full time!  I can't take the stress any more and the lack of hope of having any of the things I want.  I really think I would be better off dead, I'm not being crazy, just realistic - no money, family, pets, holidays.

Having little or no money bites, I've been there.  Starting out in life as an adult can be hard. I remember one time standing in line to get something to eat. There was a boy about 8 years old paying for his food with a $20.00 bill. He had more money than me. It was painful and embarrassing. Another time I remember going into a store with my then wife.  She wanted me to buy her a pair of jeans. They cost about $30.00. I didn't buy them for her because the little money we had was needed for food and gas.  She threw a fit like a little kid, but I didn't cave in, I couldn't, we had little cash. 

Now turn the clock ahead 25 years. I have money, my credit score is awesome.  The only debt I have is a car loan which I could pay off right now. A few years ago I owed a lot on my credit card. I was paying more than the minimum, but getting nowhere.  So I started making large payments and paid it off in about a year.  I still use it, I just pay it off monthly now. 

The point I'm trying to make is your financial situation will get better as you get older. As long as you're smart about it. And one more thing. If you haven't started one, get into a 401K plan if your job offers one. Someday you will be thankful you did. 

Edit: I see a couple of posts about bullying.  I had a bully in school.  For whatever reason he hated me. I don't know why, but he did. 

At work, there's this guy who was hassling me. He thinks I snitched on him so he's been a jerk ever since. I asked him to stop to no avail.  So one day I literally got in his face and said to him. " Let's step outside and settle this, I'll beat you into the ground."  He hasn't said a word to me since. In fact, he leaves the area if I come in. I'm 6'4" and about 250 LBS. I lift weights so I'm not small or weak. So I used what I have going for me and scared him. I hate bullies and will get in their face if I have to. 

Edited by NCC
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On Sun Apr 16 2017 at 9:59 PM, NCC said:

Hi gang, me again,

Thank you all who said kind words about my mom passing.

Well, anyway, back to Reina. It's been over a year since I discovered her. The feelings I have for her haven't changed. I'm surprised I haven't gotten bored of her. But I don't. I still get that craving for her every time I see her.  

Another thing which relates to Reina. Recently I've gotten big into anti aging. Getting older is horrible and I will fight it every inch of the way. Of course you have to eat right and work out. This goes without saying. There's just a lot more to this than eating right and working out.  So I started taking a supplement which I read about. Glycine. *link removed* Anyway, I started taking this and I feel much better, in fact I feel younger. I have more energy. So how does this relate to Reina? She looks better to me now, if that's possible. It's like I'm a kid again having my first crush. She looks so wonderful and exciting. It's almost like I'm looking at her with new eyes. I have this child like infatuation and adult attraction going on intertwined with each other.  It's wonderful most of the time.  I just hope this new supplement continues to work.  So far so good.  Reina time is better because of it. 

Since my mom is gone now, it's time for me to start posting here again. 

Hey there, glad to see you back! Yes, aging is no fun. And you're saying that we need to do more than just eat right and work out? But I haven't even started doing those things yet! Glad you're feeling better. :)

Edited by Natasha1
Quoted link removed
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Hey there, glad to see you back! Yes, aging is no fun. And you're saying that we need to do more than just eat right and work out? But I haven't even started doing those things yet! Glad you're feeling better. :)

Eating right and working out are essential.  But there has to be more and there is. What do the young have that we lose as we age? Hormone levels decrease. There's cellular breakdown.  So how do we stop up without expensive prescriptions or going to anti aging clinics, which cost a lot of money.  Supplementation? That's the direction I'm going in now.   The amino acid I mentioned in my previous post has had done some good things. So I'm using it now. As I said I feel younger right now and I have more energy. And I sleep better.  Will it work? I don't know, but I'm going to try. If I can turn the clock back or slow aging down that will be a plus.  

I really hate seeing my youth fade and old age looking at me in the face. So I'm going to fight it. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

So I recently showed my mom how to use Instagram and today I noticed that she "liked" a few photos of my CO and commented "gorgeous" on one of them. And she's always talking about how sexy he is. Should I be jealous?? I've turned her over to the dark side! ??

giggles. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Not updated here in a while so thought I'd return again. (This is really long though, so I apologise).

(I feel I sound even crazier than I did before but I just need to get all this out. I am actually so glad for this forum because I literally have no one else to talk to about any of this because I don't think anyone in my life would even understand any of it. So I'm glad I can just pour my heart out on here and not really be that judged for it and I know some of you can possibly relate). So here we go!

In my first ever post here, I mentioned a CO that became rather minor when I first posted. About two months ago, I mentioned that it returned with a big vengeance. (My original one I came here about has died down a lot for now due to the fact he's literally not doing anything)

It has only got worse since then. And by that, I mean really bad. Almost (what feels like at least) 10x worse than any I've had before.

A quick background on this one though: I first fell in love with this particular actor (I did name him in my first post, if you're feeling curious. I don't mind.) just over a year ago, after my nan gave us a bunch of DVDs and one of them happened to be a film with him in. The obsession initially lasted about 3 months and went away again. It came back about 3 months ago when I happened to see a picture of him on Tumblr.

It's definitely become a lot bigger since I watched his latest TV series (which I watched back in January). Before all of this, I probably had watched about 9 of his filmography stuff, now it's probably about 18, with so much more to go (27 to be precise. Yes, I have it written down).

I do not know how to control it right now.

Everything I have watched with him in lately has reduced me to tears, either watery eyes, a few drops or full on crying a waterfall. 

 

He personally doesn't have Social Media or anything but since this obsession has returned, I found myself following two of his oldest children and his ex-wife on social media, just in case he turned up on them. (Wow, I sound crazy. But he sort of did on one of a few months ago and it made me happy. Luckily, they're a little famous too so I don't think they would've notice me following for that reason).

Another thing I mentioned briefly on one of my other posts is the fact that I can't go and see him in theatre (which started tonight). I've been really disappointed about it, which I shouldn't be, because I feel stupid being upset about it. But I understand the reasons I can't go. Except I can't stop being really sad about it.

I was searching across Twitter just now (which I attempted to tell myself not to do much during the play) and came across people having pictures with him (which is the exact reasons I attempted to minimise my search of him during this) and I actually cried (like the weirdo I am). I don't know why I did, I think I felt like this was the best chance I ever had of meeting him myself so I think I'm just being a little jealous. It is being broadcast live in the cinema next month so I'm not totally missing out but I just would've loved to of gone to see him in the flesh.

 

I am very well aware I need professional help. My last doctor's appointment (the first step to getting proper help) got cancelled so I have no idea when I'll get another one.

 

I have tried telling myself to try and calm it down but I simply can't. The thought of giving this up is too much to bear but it's just so very intense feelings right now. Like, I even began to feel like I was genuinely in love with him and I don't know why. Though, I don't think I want to be with him romantically, I think I wish he was in my life, but not romantically (I mean, he has a girlfriend and I think they're rather happy).

In my daydreams, he is. Like I've said with my previous COs, them in my fantasies, are definitely a coping thing for my anxieties, sadness, etc. I imagine him telling me things will be okay, because sometimes, I find it hard to believe anyone else that it will.

 

 

I've come to realise though that the feelings you can have for a CO is such a rollercoaster of emotions. In most cases, they're the most comforting, calming and happy emotions but just every now and then, certain events, situations can make you extremely sad and distressed. I didn't sign up for the latter.

 

I didn't mean to ramble on like this but I don't feel I have anyone else to talk to about this, because my family just don't understand. But I just needed somewhere to just write it all down. :smile:

Edited by SophieViolet95
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@SophieViolet95 you aren't alone. 

*crawling back after lurking for ages*  

Hello again. I'm imalittleteapot, and now I can honestly say that yes, I now have a CO!  And it's NOT fun anymore, which is the difference between a regular celebrity crush and a CO. A few months ago, it was fun. But now it's crossed the line into making me really sad. :(  It's come to where my first thought upon waking up is him, how funny and cute he is, how married he is, and the fact he's now a 'bigger name' because of a role he played that made me fall in love with a fictional character about 100 times more intensely.

Overexposure and seeing this actor becoming more popular is also the reason it's become painful. Before, he (and another actor who I still have a 'fun' crush on) weren't quite as visible in my social media, but now because of his amazingly adorable role, he's a huge part of the fictional 'fandom' I've belonged to for a long time. I don't want to go into much about  'fandoms' - but I'm sure a lot of you are familiar with them. It's a situation where fictional characters are more than just that. They are like your friends, your 'darlings.'

I was never one to have painful CO's before! I had dealt with limerence feelings for 'ordinary' men I didn't know well, which when looking back gave the air of mystery because I didn't truly know them. This CO thread was the closest I could get to people who felt the same. Now I feel that the only way to extinguish this is to unfollow all the things related to him on social media, and spend less time in the fictional 'fandom.' Which is hard, because it is something that has brought so much joy for the past 3 years or so. :(  

And, oh yes, I am married, which makes it worse to have a celebrity crush or CO. Especially when there is very little similarity, if any at all, between my significant other and my crush. If I could have a CO, at least I could have picked someone who resembled my own husband in some way! Many years ago, I had a fun celebrity crush who DID resemble him, and that was fine. This is not. 

Edited by imalittleteapot
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I would just like to add my latest experience, especially since meeting a CO personally is a topic mentioned here often.

I have met my "not so C"-CO before, when I asked him for a picture with him last June. In the time since then a lot of stuff has happened, some of it really bad (from my point of view) and I felt really stuck with this obsession, especially now that I know he has a girlfriend.

Two weeks ago a very good friend of mine, who kind of knows about my obsession, went to the theatre with me. After the show she actually convinced me to go to the stagedoor again to get another picture with him, since I look VERY different from 9 months ago. No idea how she made me do this, because I was really scared of meeting him (or even his girlfriend), He ended up being alone and really appreciative for being approached by two girls at once.:Coopyahoo:

What can I say? He's really the nicest person ever. He talked and talked and answered every possible question and even jokingly offered to lift me for the picture (he's a dancer after all). He even made a little fun of me forbeing in the shows so often ("Don't you have any other hobbies?"), which my friend said came over really flirty. :grinning: He didn't even seem to want this talk to be over, and after about 15 minutes I was the one to finish it by thanking him.

Strangely enough talking to him for so long (comparatively) kind of "humanized" him for me. I'm not saying I'm not still obsessed with him, because I am, but for now I find it easier to deal with the situation, because he's so.... normal. Does that make sense? Of course there's a big difference to actual celebrities, who - depending on their grade of fame - would probably not talk to a fan in this form. To me this experience was extremely helpful as in "I don't obsess 24/7 anymore". Sorry for rambling, I just had to get this out... 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, Julialovesdancing said:

I would just like to add my latest experience, especially since meeting a CO personally is a topic mentioned here often.

I have met my "not so C"-CO before, when I asked him for a picture with him last June. In the time since then a lot of stuff has happened, some of it really bad (from my point of view) and I felt really stuck with this obsession, especially now that I know he has a girlfriend.

Two weeks ago a very good friend of mine, who kind of knows about my obsession, went to the theatre with me. After the show she actually convinced me to go to the stagedoor again to get another picture with him, since I look VERY different from 9 months ago. No idea how she made me do this, because I was really scared of meeting him (or even his girlfriend), He ended up being alone and really appreciative for being approached by two girls at once.:Coopyahoo:

What can I say? He's really the nicest person ever. He talked and talked and answered every possible question and even jokingly offered to lift me for the picture (he's a dancer after all). He even made a little fun of me forbeing in the shows so often ("Don't you have any other hobbies?"), which my friend said came over really flirty. :grinning: He didn't even seem to want this talk to be over, and after about 15 minutes I was the one to finish it by thanking him.

Strangely enough talking to him for so long (comparatively) kind of "humanized" him for me. I'm not saying I'm not still obsessed with him, because I am, but for now I find it easier to deal with the situation, because he's so.... normal. Does that make sense? Of course there's a big difference to actual celebrities, who - depending on their grade of fame - would probably not talk to a fan in this form. To me this experience was extremely helpful as in "I don't obsess 24/7 anymore". Sorry for rambling, I just had to get this out... 

That's awesome! I'm glad you got to talk with him.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...