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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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@NCC That must be so hard losing your mother. I'm so sorry you're going through that. You have our support here, always. 

Reina's bob is cute! You're very fortunate that she's been able to bring such joy into your life :happy:  I can see how special she is. 

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8 hours ago, OpalP25 said:

@posie_riot I agree with you that people who sleep around a lot probably do feel wrong about what they're doing and that's why they're so eager to say: "This is normal! This is completely normal human behaviour!" While it may be common, I'm not sure I'd personally say it's normal. Well, at least when it gets to the stage of someone viewing other people only as sex objects, it's not normal.

I'm guessing your CO's type is probably similar to the type my CO seems to have - bleach blonde hair, size zero, plastic t!ts, etc. Ugh, men can be so superficial sometimes... Although I think I have a decent figure and can look nice when I make enough of an effort, I'm just nothing like those Instagram girls. I'm very nerdy and innocent looking. So my CO would be highly unlikely to look twice at me (maybe I shouldn't even feel bad about that)

Not so much the bleach blonde hair and size zero. My CO is a...*inhales*...a b:censored::censored:b guy *exhales dramatically*    

"Innocent looking" is a good term. It applies to me too. Everyone has a different type of attractiveness that they possess. I could be described as "cute", I guess, but my CO isn't attracted to cute women. I shouldn't get so bent out of shape about that, but I am. This is one of the worst effects that this obsession has had on me. I don't have the right kind of appeal for him. This also makes me wonder - how many other men do I not have the right kind of appeal for? I'm 23, and I look exactly the same as I did when I was 15. I'm girlish looking. You know how they say "real women have curves"? Umm...uh oh! If my CO saw me, in all my "cuteness", he might not even realize I'm legal. I'm keeping this short for the thread, but anyway, I feel unwomanly and I blame my CO. It's clearly all his fault. Everyone reading this can see that (sarcasm alert!). Damn him! :rolleyes:

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1 minute ago, posie_riot said:

Not so much the bleach blonde hair and size zero. My CO is a...*inhales*...a b:censored::censored:b guy *exhales dramatically*    

"Innocent looking" is a good term. It applies to me too. Everyone has a different type of attractiveness that they possess. I could be described as "cute", I guess, but my CO isn't attracted to cute women. I shouldn't get so bent out of shape about that, but I am. This is one of the worst effects that this obsession has had on me. I don't have the right kind of appeal for him. This also makes me wonder - how many other men do I not have the right kind of appeal for? I'm 23, and I look exactly the same as I did when I was 15. I'm girlish looking. You know how they say "real women have curves"? Umm...uh oh! If my CO saw me, in all my "cuteness", he might not even realize I'm legal. I'm keeping this short for the thread, but anyway, I feel unwomanly and I blame my CO. It's clearly all his fault. Everyone reading this can see that (sarcasm alert!). Damn him! :rolleyes:

I know how you feel. I've never been curvy either, I'm an A-cup, my butt isn't big, and I'm only about 5'1". I look younger than my age too, but I can't pull off 15 anymore, so enjoy it while you can! ?

 

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I've still been following this thread from time to time and I know many of you have experienced what happened to me yesterday. Yet, I don't know how any of you can deal with it...

Yesterday I saw my CO (the one where the C is doubtful, for he's no real celebrity) with his girlfriend and something died inside of me. Sure, I didn't think he lived a monk's life, but being faced with the actual reality of him with "another" (other than me) woman is more than I can seem to handle. She also works in the theatre where he dances, and she waited for him outside after a show. They kissed and walked away together. It certainly feels like the death of my happy place.

I really thought I've been doing well over the past months, it was enough for me to see him on stage and live this fantasy life in my head, as many of you do. Now I can't escape to this fantasy anymore, because all I see is him with HER.

How do you cope with that? Just how? I don't get it. My everyday life, my job, each tiny chore seems unmanagable right now, like any motivation has left me. Why can't I find that magic "OFF"-button to stop this madness???

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@Julialovesdancing I am so, so sorry. I know the pain, although I wish I didn't. It's indescribable. 

I know it doesn't seem this way now, but it will get easier. By that I mean...everyday life will become easier, over time. The pain is too fresh right now. The best way of coping is by talking it out, which you're already doing. We're here to support you. 

:console:

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3 hours ago, Julialovesdancing said:

Thank you for your kind words, @posie_riot!! I know it's completely irrational to be so mad at this woman I don't know at all and especially at him (whom I barely know). But still I am. And sad and desperate and... everything. :tear2:

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down. I wouldn't want to see my CO in a public display of affection with anyone either. I know it's tough because we all want to be rational adults here, but jealousy happens. Right now, some fans of my CO are really upset because they think there's a possibility that he MIGHT be seeing someone. Basically, all they're going by are some "hints" that they feel she dropped and she keeps showing up in the same cities that he's in while he's on tour. Meanwhile, he's saying that he's single but some fans are still convinced that they are together and they don't approve. Until I see more concrete evidence, I'm not going to worry about it.

However, I did experience some jealousy this week when I was looking at another fan's social media account. Basically, she's in love with my CO and she has tons of pictures with him because she's been to so many concerts. They've only been on tour for like a month now and she's been to about five shows already. She follows them from country to country and I'm like, how does she do that?! Is she rich? Does she not have to go to work? Must be nice! lol As I've said before, I'm older than my CO, but she's quite a bit older than him, but still very open on her social media account about how much she loves him. So I guess in a way, I both admire and envy this woman because while she's not in a relationship with him, she's still living the life that I want to be living by seeing him all the time. :(

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2 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling down. I wouldn't want to see my CO in a public display of affection with anyone either. I know it's tough because we all want to be rational adults here, but jealousy happens. Right now, some fans of my CO are really upset because they think there's a possibility that he MIGHT be seeing someone. Basically, all they're going by are some "hints" that they feel she dropped and she keeps showing up in the same cities that he's in while he's on tour. Meanwhile, he's saying that he's single but some fans are still convinced that they are together and they don't approve. Until I see more concrete evidence, I'm not going to worry about it.

However, I did experience some jealousy this week when I was looking at another fan's social media account. Basically, she's in love with my CO and she has tons of pictures with him because she's been to so many concerts. They've only been on tour for like a month now and she's been to about five shows already. She follows them from country to country and I'm like, how does she do that?! Is she rich? Does she not have to go to work? Must be nice! lol As I've said before, I'm older than my CO, but she's quite a bit older than him, but still very open on her social media account about how much she loves him. So I guess in a way, I both admire and envy this woman because while she's not in a relationship with him, she's still living the life that I want to be living by seeing him all the time. :(

I totally understand what you're saying. Don't ask me how much money I've spent on theatre tickets this year alone (it should be 40+ shows in total, if I'm not mistaken). (I'm lucky he doesn't go on any tours but stays in the same theatre, which is only 20 minutes away from me.) That is nothing short of crazy in my own opinion, but I still do it. Unfortunately from now on I will be in constant fear of seeing HER again, whenever I'm there. That takes a lot of the fun out of it, if not all.

I'm lucky again that there isn't much social media going on concerning the theatre, and as far as I know he himself isn't on facebook. That means so far I was pretty protected from jealousy. I guess I had it coming then.

BTW: I may be two or three years older than him as well, but for now that's really the least of my problems. Age never counts for much in my book anyway. I tend to feel in a range from about 12 to 87, depending on circumstances...

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20 hours ago, Julialovesdancing said:

Thank you for your kind words, @posie_riot!! I know it's completely irrational to be so mad at this woman I don't know at all and especially at him (whom I barely know). But still I am. And sad and desperate and... everything. :tear2:

That's a natural response. Who cares if it's irrational. It means you care and have emotions. Hopefully this relationship turns out to be nothing. You should probably make it a point, if you can, to not look around for him after the show is over. Enjoy the show, distract yourself for awhile afterwards, and forget she exists. She's nobody. She doesn't matter :nod:

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I don't know if any of y'all heard the news about Barry Manilow this morning ... I had to come here to comment on that because I'm very proud of him for two reasons.  It was revealed by him for the first time today that he's gay.  Good for him for coming out about that...it must be a huge relief after keeping that inside for so very long.  I think many people knew he was whether he said it or not, but he decided not to reveal it for over 40 years.  The reason he decided not to reveal it is the other reason I'm proud of him....I read where he said he didn't want to disappoint his fans.  I hope he doesn't mean he assumes his fan base is homophobic...I'm taking his reason to mean he knew a lot of women had crushes on him and he didn't want to disappoint those women.  Good for him.  I've mentioned on here, for a very brief time in the mid-70s I had a very mild crush on Barry.  It wouldn't have bothered me to learn he was gay, or to learn he was married.  I wasn't "that" into him...not at all as much as I'm obsessed with the man I call my "CO" here...but I know many women are (were?) that obsessed with Barry.  For them, I'm proud he considered their feelings.  Wouldn't it be nice if all celebs considered their fans that way?  

Edited by Audrey822
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On 7/3/2017 at 0:01 AM, museumgirl said:

Hello everyone.

I'm sorry for the childishness of what i'm going to write about. but i have nowhere else to resort to and i'm going mental.

I've written a bit about it before, basically that this one celebrity obsession is taking over everything. I'm listening to his music everyday and they are performing at a festival at the end of march. i'm feeling ridiculous. i truly enjoy his music, but for years now i've often used my latest obsession as part of a fictional character in my life (to compensate for lack of intimacy/fear of opening up to real people most likely???) who i can talk to about all the things i'm afraid to tell other people. since he is now what ocuppies my thoughts 24/7, i'm thinking of ways i could somehow meet him during his stay in my city which is absolutely bonkers but i truly do want to. i mean, i'm even sketching stuff for a potential painting to give him (im an art student)??? i'm literally losing it. i don't know what's being a normal person is like. i'm not a creep i swear. i just have a sort of fantasy world i escape to to cope. what should i do??? what even are the odds of meeting him anyways? am i that delusional?

Ok……

 

 

Ok. I’m not ok.

Like literally, last week was the most insane week of my stupid 20 years of existence in this floating rotating rock. i'm still trying to process it all out and i've had sudden outbursts and episodes of heavy crying bc it’s just ****ing unbelievable and I’m still trying to conceive everything that happened. Is this an embarrassing story? yes. but do I care? Also probably yes but I’m a stranger on the internet and so are you and everything in the internet is just bytes of garbage so who cares w/e

So to give you a bit of a backstory, somewhere in late January/early February I really became obsessed with this one artist because I saw he was coming to my city so I was like huh this is neat …and that was the start of it. and you’re probably thinking uh aren’t you like an art history major?? And a pretentious intellectual hermit with social anxiety? How does his edgy music fit in all of this? Idk dude like, maybe something about controlling parents and internalized rebellion has to do with it and his blunt honesty and “I don’t give a ****” vibe just rly spoke to me idk. so throughout that time and for most of February I’d become obsessed with his music and would listen to it 24/7 (I should clarify that when I become obsessed w an artist I go all the ****ing way in life ruining ways)

Later somewhere in mid February I was walking my dog and I found a painting somebody threw out in the garbage (bear with me ok this is important) with a poor attempt at a cubist portrait and so I took it home bc I’m broke and restored it so it became a blank canvas and maybe I could do something with it eventually??? The only thing I’ve been pretty decent at in my life has been drawing/painting (always talented at the least profitable —I’ve been blessed in that sense) so for a few days I just had that sitting in my room staring back at me. Somewhere between an electric impulse in my brain my mind went like—imagine hooded Kermit meme—MAKE A FANART PAINTING FOR HIM SO U CAN GIVE IT TO HIM WHEN HE STOPS BY and after days of deliberating the sanity of that idea and with the pressure of classes starting soon I just dived in head first. My last days of summer vacations were spent making that painting

finally, by last wednesday it was finished.

so that same day, I had my first medieval art class and was given by a classmate FOUR books of about 600 pages each plus notes that I’d need for this semester’s classes. I became the embodiment of the saddest college student in the city, trudging the streets with books that weighed more than me—and I’m only 5’1” so it truly couldn’t get any more Tragic™.  I got on the subway, rode the eight stations to get to the bus terminal where I’d finally get on my ride back home.

as I sat down and dropped those ****ing books on the empty seat next to mine, I took out my phone to check my zero messages and social media. The minute I opened instagram, I saw it, the gate that lead to the most insane thing that would ever happen in my life: the bass player of the band had posted a picture taken from a restaurant facing a crossroads. “seven minutes ago”. Given the building’s façade and the pedestrian street that could be seen, I recognized it couldn’t be farther than a few blocks from where I was. My bus was leaving in one minute. I asked the passenger next to me if he knew where that was. he looked at it for twenty seconds without saying a word. The bus driver got on his seat and started the engine.  I knew that the dude was of no help, so I jumped out of my ride and asked for my ticket back and took those stupid books with me and climbed my way up to the surface and stopped the first cab I saw put my phone in front of his face and screamed DO YOU KNOW WHERE THIS IS I NEED TO GET HERE NOW as I became growingly desperate that I would miss my one chance at finding a link to him

he had two guesses so as we approached the first spot we realized that wasn’t it. He pulled out his phone and opened google street view to see if the other place was it and we recognized the buildings from the picture, so he maneuvered his way out from there and, as it is unusual here, we got held down by traffic.  Then the thoughts came and I started panicking: what if he left, where do I go then, am I a psychopath, I am insane he will think you’re crazy, What the FUUUUUUCK ARE YOU DOING, U ARE ****IN G DELUSIONAL--the driver must have seen my desperation bc he said “we’ll be there in ten-twelve minutes” meanwhile I pulled out some colored chapstick so as to try to withdraw attention from the makeup that was melting on my face ugh

soon I see from my window the building from the picture and I start feeling the anxiety spreading through my body.  I paid the driver as fast as possible so that if the bass player had left I would have a better chance to find him but thoSE ****ING BOOKS DUDE AGHHHHHHHH!!!!!! I climbed out of the cab and thanked the driver

 and just like that, there I was, standing on the opposite side. A pedestrian crossing away. As the light turns green for me, I start approaching the spot, and I see their dreads stand out from the rest of the people: the bass player and drummer on one side of a table, the guitarist on the other. Before I had time to process what I was seeing I was already meters away from them, and like a ****ing magnet I trotted towards them

HHI ARE YOU (BP name)?? AND YOU’RE (drummer's name) RIGHT??I’M—HI MY NAME IS (let's just say museumgirl) AND I’M REALLY SORRY TO BOTHER YOU I DON’T DO THIS AT ALL EVER BUT I SAW YOUR PICTURE ON INSTAGRAM AND I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE MY RIDE HOME FROM COLLEGE BUT THEN I SAW YOU GUYS WERE NEARBY AND THEN I TOOK A CAB AND WITH STREET VIEW WE FOUND YOU AND I WANTED TO GIVE ABEL A GIFT WHILE HE IS HERE LIKE OF COURSE THIS IS NOT ME TRYING TO MEET UP WITH HIM THIS IS NOT WHAT THIS IS ABOU—at this point they noticed my voice cracking and my body shaking in terror because they hurried me to take the empty seat next to the guitarist as if I was about to pass out (even the freaking waiter must have seen it all bc he pulled out an extra chair for me to put my books on; like could I take up any more space or???)

I then started rambling about the painting I’d spent the past weeks doing and how I wished that there was a way he could get it, took my phone out and showed them a picture of it so they knew it wasn’t BS. I kept insisting that I didn’t want to bother anyone and the bass player said that although they’d love to there just wasn’t a way to warrant me it would get back or damaged. At some point the guitarist ordered a water for me (since they were probably still worried that I was so ****ing anxious jfc). Although that might have been discouraging, I understood that it just wasn’t up to them. Still, like, the craziest ****ing thing was that I spent a whole HOUR with them at that restaurant, and they couldn’t have been nicer people I swear to god.

In short, we talked about music, the countries they’d visited for their tour, even asked me about college and a bit abt my life (yikes) what instruments I play and what places they should see here and I told them what they would expect here and about the other time I went to the same festival they’d be playing in… the drummer even asked me to send him a list of my favorite artists for him to check out which is like!!!!!!! Omfg. the guitarist asked me how my day had gone so far and I just showed them the ****ing pile of books and the looks of concern on their faces was everything (god have mercy on my mortal soul)

They probably weren’t expecting that an art history major, the most pretentious sounding career, from the southernmost country in the world would ever approach them  which like made me embarrassed for myself bc like the discrepancies between my interests and my actual scholarly pursues where like ??????? I’m the least interesting person ever and incredibly weird!!!!! hm I want to die k bye!!!!!!!

So an hour passed and the guys let me know they had to leave and each of them gave me a big big hug and told me it was very nice to meet me (!!!!!!!!!) and thanks for everything see you at the show take care!!!! *heart eyes emoji* *deceased emoji* *there’s no such emoji*

------

I’m still daydreaming about everything that happened as if it wasn’t real good l0rd.

I’ll write about what went down at the concert when I have energy again (I got the flu there: shocking!!!) which is probably equally insane so stay tuned ma peeps goodbye

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@museumgirl that sounds like an absolutely amazing experience!! So fortunate you saw the Instagram post at the exact right time!! Sometimes things work out so well in such magical ways it's just hard to believe. Fairy godmother at work, that's all I can say (yes, I do believe in that!! ✨)  I can't wait to hear about the concert, but I hope you feel better from the flu soon! 

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4 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

I don't know if any of y'all heard the news about Barry Manilow this morning ... I had to come here to comment on that because I'm very proud of him for two reasons.  It was revealed by him for the first time today that he's gay.  Good for him for coming out about that...it must be a huge relief after keeping that inside for so very long.  I think many people knew he was whether he said it or not, but he decided not to reveal it for over 40 years.  The reason he decided not to reveal it is the other reason I'm proud of him....I read where he said he didn't want to disappoint his fans.  I hope he doesn't mean he assumes his fan base is homophobic...I'm taking his reason to mean he knew a lot of women had crushes on him and he didn't want to disappoint those women.  Good for him.  I've mentioned on here, for a very brief time in the mid-70s I had a very mild crush on Barry.  It wouldn't have bothered me to learn he was gay, or to learn he was married.  I wasn't "that" into him...not at all as much as I'm obsessed with the man I call my "CO" here...but I know many women are (were?) that obsessed with Barry.  For them, I'm proud he considered their feelings.  Wouldn't it be nice if all celebs considered their fans that way?  

I can understand why Barry didn't reveal his sexuality. There's a good chance that one of my COs may be gay but he doesn't say that he is. He has kind of given fans the impression that he's potentially open to either gender, but I think he probably only says that so as not to dash the hopes of his multitude of female fans. I don't think it would change my feelings about him if he decided to reveal that he's gay since I already suspect that he is. It's part of the reason why he and my alter ego got divorced in my story. lol But he is still the same beautiful person to me regardless of what his sexual preferences are.  He is smart to keep his romantic life private though because some of the fans can be really jealous and crazy! Not me, of course. ?

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Hi guys. 

SHE finally started following my CO on Instagram. He posts these lovey-dovey vom inducing posts to her and, huzzah, she likes them.

 

They were both 'spotted' at the same airport, not together, but close enough so people realise they've been spending time with each other. Her film came out a couple of weeks back and people haven't really been flocking to see that crap. The film kind of just came and went and no one questions the lame box office performance, because everyone's  busy fawning over this showmance.

She posted a beyond cheesy video of herself and people guessed that she was in the same hotel that my CO's in with his team. I'm sure that they both knew that people would figure this out.

 

When it's a been a few days since they've not been seen together or there's no acknowledgement of each other on social media, there's a naive part of me that thinks maybe there's trouble between them.

How awful is that of me? If I truly worshipped him, shouldn't I want him to happy? It's the same naive part that thought my 'reward' for following him around the country would be him noticing the only girl in a field of men and realising he's seen me in different parts of the country. Not in a stalker way, mind. Just to get that clear.

It's a trap I constantly fall into and I've lost count of how many times I promise myself it won't happen again.

 

Many like the sport because of him; since he hit the big-time a couple of years ago. SHE quite brazenly proclaims she doesn't have an interest in his sport. I've said this before, my CO seems to be of the opinion that he is better than 'mere civilians'. Being with her lets him switch off from the game. Heaven forbid he dates a non-famous fan of his who didn't jump on the bandwagon and has adored him well before he was this popular because apparently ALL we'd want to do is talk about his sport and nothing else.

 

She was somewhat decent to look at in the first place, but now her face is chockablock with fillers and implants.

 

I know I don't have a chance, and I'm not simply saying choose me. But I am pleading, not her. Why is he so ****** stupid?

 

I know I'm constantly venting on you guys like you're my therapists, but being here is so cathartic. And believe it or not, I am trying to cut back on his social media activity.

 

 

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Vent all you like, @sv14...that's one of the purposes of the thread, I think. 

there's a naive part of me that thinks maybe there's trouble between them.

How awful is that of me? If I truly worshipped him, shouldn't I want him to happy? 

 

It's not awful of you at all. It's quite normal of you. You're not being asked to be happy about your best friend, or your daughter, or your brother. This is someone you love in a way that's unique to a romantic relationship...in that situation, you don't want to share him under any circumstances. Why should you be happy for him if he's with someone other than you? It wouldn't make sense for you to be. Give yourself a break there. You're not awful, you're human and normal. :hugs:

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@sv14 I agree with @Audrey822 entirely. 

Also, based on what you've said in the past, I don't think you worship him. That's a good thing. That's a different type of celebrity obsession altogether and it has a name (Celebrity Worship Syndrome). Those people will, in most cases, be happy for their favourite celebrity when he or she gets into a relationship. In your case, you're in love with this man. It's not normal to be happy when someone you're in love with is dating another person. Imagine for a moment that he's not a celebrity. Now analyze your feelings. 

Consider for a moment too that this woman is clearly bad for him. Why would you be happy for him that he's with herThat makes your unhappiness even more sensible. 

Edited by posie_riot
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Hi guys - I hope you don't mind me posting here with my own experience. I just thought it might be a good place to get some advice. I've never spoken about this before and I apologise if it's a little incoherent.

Basically, I've always had strong reactions to celebrities, even from being a kid. I would imagine characters on TV, cartoons etc. being a part of my life, but it was a pretty harmless fantasy. As I got older and developed crushes on celebrities, these could be quite obsessive but still very insular (I wouldn't tell anyone I had them, and I didn't like other people sharing in my interest). About 5 years ago, I developed a crush on an actor that, again, began harmlessly enough. As the actor began to grow in fame, however, my interest started to become laden with anxiety. I don't know exactly when, or how, but now I'm at a stage where I am still "attracted" to this person but I can't look at them or talk about them. It's actually a feeling more akin to hatred. I've been treated for anxiety and depression in the past, but I know I have OCD tendencies and I feel this is a part of that, because when somebody mentions this person or I see a picture of them, I feel fear and sickness. It's got so bad that, now I'm relocating for a job (something I should be happy about) I'm worried sick because I'm convinced my future landlady will somehow be a fan of this person and will talk about him constantly to me or watch his films and I'll have constant panic attacks, even though I know this is utterly stupid.

I don't know how to google this because all that comes up is Celebrity Worship Syndrome - that's not what this is. This person occupies my mind but in a similar way to how other rituals of mine do. I don't even know how to describe the feeling I have towards him, but I certainly feel as though it's affecting my own ability to have a normal relationship with someone.

Does anyone know a name for this type of thing so I can at least start looking for help? The problem is, I know if I have some kind of counselling for this I'll be forced to acknowledge/talk about this person, and possibly watch their films etc. in a manner similar to CBT, and I just don't know if I could handle that. I'm so embarrassed by this but if I know what it actually is then little by little I can perhaps start to tackle it myself.

 

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@yellowpaint Welcome to the thread! This is absolutely the right place for you to share your experiences and ask for advice about anything regarding obsessive feelings for a celebrity.

I'm not sure there is a name for what you're going through (or for what any of us are going through), but I'm pretty sure it's not Celebrity Worship Syndrome. Maybe I'm wrong, but it kind of sounds to me like these feelings of anxiety you're experiencing because of this actor could be caused by a sense of embarrassment or shame over your obsession with him. That's very understandable because, let's be honest, people who have never had these sorts of obsessions don't always view those of us who do have them very favourably. These sorts of attitudes make it hard not to feel embarrassed about having this issue.

I can actually relate to your problem to a certain extent, and I know for sure that, for me, it's caused by shame and embarrassment. Unlike you, I'm very content to look at pictures/videos of my CO and read news and info about him when I'm all alone on my laptop. However, when he comes up as a topic of conversation in my everyday life, it's a whole different story... I find it awkward and cringe-worthy beyond belief. I feel so exposed and worried that I'll be "found out". Fortunately, this has significantly improved over the last couple of years, and I put that down to signing up here. Thanks to being able to talk with other people who also have COs, I feel a lot less weird and ashamed about my situation now. I even managed to briefly mention my CO in a conversation I had with my parents at the weekend, without going red or seeming too awkward. I would never have been able to do that a year or two ago.

Here, you can talk all about your experiences to people who understand what you're going through and who won't judge. I think that might be something that will help you to deal with the feelings you're having, whatever the cause of them may be.

Edited by OpalP25
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welcome @yellowpaint....I agree with @OpalP25.  What you have is definitely not Celebrity Worship Syndrome, but anytime anyone speaks of having a crush on a celebrity, daydreaming about a celebrity, being in love with a celebrity, anything involving a celebrity, people who don't understand us lump everything together under the convenient (for them) umbrella of Celebrity Worship Syndrome...and as Opal said, those who don't have these feelings view those of us who do very unfavorably.  Opal's suggestions for why you feel the way you do are very reasonable...I would also ask if maybe he's done something to make you angry or jealous.  I don't think you'd have anything to fear if you went to counseling.  Just tell the counselor that you don't wish to reveal the person's name (I was in therapy for almost a year before I told my therapist my CO's name...when I did, she'd never heard of him which didn't surprise me at all, LOL) Also tell the counselor that you don't wish to engage in any type of exposure therapy, the sort of thing you mentioned where you'd be forced to watch him or acknowledge him/talk about him.  I just had my very last therapy session on Monday after almost 3 years....I had a wonderful therapist, even if we didn't always understand each other.  That was not always her fault.  BUT...she constantly reminded me that we were working toward MY goals, not hers.  I believe that's very important.  If you decide to see a counselor, make sure you stress that ... your goals are the priority in the sessions; not the counselor's.  

(Adding on edit:  try to have a good idea of what those goals are before you show up.  Maybe your goal is to stop being so angry and/or anxious at the sound of this person's name.  Or maybe your goal is something else...but give that some thought.  Don't be afraid of taking this to a counselor....I believe in the process.  It helped me immensely with regard to many issues.)

Edited by Audrey822
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I'm not going to talk about anything spiritually inclined.

I'm going through my life feeling at times like I have screwed up my life. I compare my self to Taylor Swift who is three years younger than me and I go to bed at night afraid for what else she's going to take over the next day in my search engine.

It scares the hell word out of me. I'm at times thinking that she would have been a better version of me. She's already accomplished much of what I had expected to it just scares me that she's three years younger and worth $250 million dollars .... not even 30 years old. She could retire then. She could if she wanted to.

I'm going through some type of crisis here. I have stress and a few gray hairs already. I know now that I don't think it would have worked with Usher with age race maturity and timing as well  ... I don't think he would have been interested in me let alone want a conversation. I  have to remind myself that or else I will go crazy. I'm sorry. I just am getting old quickly at almost 31 ...

Edited by urivgirl86
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I do genuinely like Taylor Swift. She's pretty, talented and seems like a really nice person who does give back generously to many others. I admire her for staying true to herself along her success.

I was just expressing how at times I feel this rise up in me but it's a feeling of insecurity at myself. Others respond to folks on Facebook of people they knew, I respond with a woman three years younger than me who is the biggest female artist in the world at $250 million dollars no pressure.

We all go through bouts and it always seems as the grass is greener but I know she's just a normal person who has a different job & lifestyle - that's all it is. It just makes me feel like no matter what I can never reach that in my own way - it's not realistic.

Fame is fleeting and it's easy to look at others and only see the success without seeing the sacrifice it takes to make it & stay in the game I'm not better then her she's not better then me just different.

I'm sick of this notion of how if you're not married or had kids you're nothing. In Taylor Swift world that's not even an issue.

In the real world of basic people who have real jobs all you talk about is work or relationships / marriage / kids and there is so much more to life then that. How can one be happy being that for the rest of your life? That seems like hell.

I don't want to be in a box until I have to go in a box. Get my drift? Why would I settle for a basic life when I could have been a brand. It's not a realistic career though. It's not even that.

Edited by urivgirl86
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