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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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Just now, MysteryName said:

Can't find the quote but someone said that being obsessed with a celebrity's relationships is seen as more acceptable than wanting him or her to be single so we can dream of being with him/her. Not sure that's always true. Look at how people react to celebrity breakups -  I've seen enough comments about along the lines "good news girls! Ryan Gosling is on the market again!" or whoever it is. Sure it's mostly just joking but there's poorly hidden genuine feelings beneath the joking. The media is just as obsessed with breakups as it is with new potential relationships and it does not do much to hide its glee and pretend to be sympathetic. Look at how nuts the media went when Brangelina broke up.

There's another factor involved here too: envy. We all, as humans, love to envy others becauses its easier to mutter in a sea of delicious bitterness about how much Wayne Rooney earns for kicking a ball about while we have to slave away at a desk all day than it is to admit that, on a global scale, it is us who are the lucky ones. So when it turns out that the lives of the superstars is not perfect even if it takes the breakup of  long term marriage with children(!) people love it!

Anyway, that may be an aside but it has a point - that a few comments about wishing a celebrity finds love does not change the fact that the world at large generally makes very little pretence that it genuinely wants the best for its celebrity heroes. We, who are in love with a celebrity and want them to be happy.... with us... are certainly very far from being the worst.

In either case you should never be ashamed of feelings you can't help.

Besides fans obsessing over a celebrity's love life and analysing every photo are the ones invading their privacy. If I was a celebrity I'd be more p***** off that I couldn't hang out with a female friend in public or let my relationship develop at its own rate without 1000 fans constantly going on about whether we are dating and how serious it is. Seems like much more invasive than some lonely woman dreaming that she's in a relationship with me.

From the point of view of my own CO I've got a different problem. Her male fanbase is a 1000 copies of me. They don't speculate about her love life, they publicly, shamelessly, wish they were dating her.

It fricken kills me because it cuts short my fantasies. I dream of being with her only to remember that I'm dreaming of exactly the same thing as a million other guys. Ruins it as it makes it less personal. I'm not her soulmate. Weird lonely guys fall for her. That's a fact. I'm a weird lonely guy. I fell for her. It was predictable. She must find this documented phenomena about herself very bizarre and uncomfortable, she only ever set out to entertain and amuse people.

@Audrey822

As it turns out there is no danger of me replacing my CO. So much for my obsession "waning", I'm wasting as much time on endless youtube vides of her as ever. There's always another vid of a live performance or interview with her and if its recommended to me I must watch it. That's part of my obsession. I should probably clear my youtube history so it stops recommending her but I can't bring myself to do that. With the interviews I get a strange satisfaction that I know what her answer will be before she's answered as I've watched so many interviews with her and there's only so many questions they ever ask.

So much for internet dating. If a really good rapport with endless discussion with a girl I know in real life is never going to lead to a relationship then how can I expect to get a relationship with some online girl that I can barely get the odd 2 sentence message out of?! And yet I'm never going to ask a girl I know in real life on a date as there's never signs she actually likes me so what can I do?!

I'll have to just stick to fantasy relationships and I guess its better having one of those with someone I'll never meet than with someone where it could actually harm my day to day interractions with them.

I have at least got one hope though. A dating site "meetup" singles event thing is coming up wednesday and I'm going to it! Finally, a situation where I can talk to women knowing that dating is on their mind when they talk to me, due to the nature of the event, rather than assuming the suggestion of a date with me would be a lightning bolt out the blue and horrifying to them. The problem is I'd be surrounded by normal functioning guys showing off their ****ing "game" and generally being smooth and confident and attractive and having good fashion sense and a ****ing full head of hair. I'd probably give up trying to compete and go home early.

@imalittleteapot, @HopelessRomantic2011 Regarding the shame of liking younger guys - I don't think I'd find it weird if an older woman was into me. Think I'd be flattered. Although I'm not the best example as no woman likes me. My CO is a little older than me (6 years) and I have liked one woman older than that, not sure how old, not that much older but in her 40s anyway. Her bearing a resemblance to my CO was a factor though! She was married of course.

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@MysteryName 

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Not sure that's always true. Look at how people react to celebrity breakups I've seen enough comments about along the lines "good news girls! Ryan Gosling is on the market again!" or whoever it is.

No kidding, huh?  I've seen comments like this a lot...I'm sure we all have. I don't know if they're half-joking, but they're making that comment for some reason, right?  A few people in this thread have wondered how many others like us there might be who just haven't found this thread yet, (or don't think they have a reason to be here.) Maybe they're not quite as obsessed as some in here are, they may not be in love with a (minor) celebrity like I am, but I would say the people who make up the market for celebrity gossip magazines and tabloids have some level of celebrity obsession or they wouldn't buy those magazines in the first place.  That goes for people who bookmark TMZ and JustJared, and/or watch Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight too. ?

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In either case you should never be ashamed of feelings you can't help.

:thumbsup:

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20 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

@perfectcircle77 I know that feeling exactly as you described it..."it mostly worked...doing ok....still upsets if I think about it too long." Unfortunately, once you see something like that, you can't unsee it....all you can do is try to analyze it logically (or let others do that for you.)  Looking over exactly what you said about this again:

This is only 6 people....6!!  And all they're doing is speculating on a silly question posed by another person in the group....a group of teens and slightly older people. I know it's easier for me to say this (if our situations were reversed, I get it) but your CO hasn't said anything about this; these are just fans with nothing better to do than speculate about a question-of-the-day.  It doesn't look like there's much there to go on to me.  

About the wristband....I know it makes you sad, but there's nothing symbolic in that it fell off right now.  I think it's sweet that you kept it on this long. ? I have a similar thing I've been doing.  I mentioned my CO signed an autograph for me....that pen has a clip on it, and I've kept it attached to everything I've worn since that night. :icon12:   No one's asked about it yet.  I have a feeling everyone who knows I went to the concert knows the significance of it...everyone else thinks it's just a pen. 

You're exactly right. What you've said is what I'd say to other people, always easier to be logical when you're not there in the moment, right? I love that you have kept the pen attached to you since that night. 

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@posie_riot I think you've pretty much nailed the issue I have with these types of fans. It's the fact that the real reason they want their favourite celebrity to have a relationship is for their own personal entertainment. And yet as the same time, they make it seem as if they're the mature, sensible ones who truly care about the celeb's happiness. It's crazy when you think about it!

I believe you're right that there are very good reasons why having a relationship isn't a priority for my CO at the moment. And his fans should definitely be aware of that and respect that. But they're just too d*mn nosy and they won't even admit it, lol!

@Audrey822 You're so right that it's not selfish to feel how we do about our CO's private lives. We can't help who we fall for... 

It's kind of ironic how we live in a society that's so obsessed with famous people and their lives, and yet when someone develops genuine feelings for a famous person, everyone thinks they're "sad" and "crazy".

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I'm severely on the tipping point of CO when it comes to the handful of movie actors I've been crushing on!

I MUST stop following their stuff on Twitter! There currently is so much behind-the-scenes and press footage of those guys laughing, being fun and cute and witty, joking around about my favorite movie ever!  They share the same passion I have for the story and film. :icon12:

The gay actor (who's the most attractive to me "looks-wise") isn't bothering me at all!  Since he's gay, he's more like an aesthetically pleasing person to look at and fangirl over since there is no spouse or girlfriend to cause jealousy. His two co-stars are the ones who are in danger of being CO's. Both would be so fun to meet in real life and even be friends with. Both men are married, and both are VERY cute. Even though my favorite of the two is not considered conventionally attractive, he has so much charisma and spouts off such hilarious one-liners! :icon12:

I had to vent and gush about this here. When I see the movie they are all in, I'm so afraid that CO will strike me hard. My poor husband. 

Edited by imalittleteapot
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On 7/29/2016 at 8:40 AM, BluesDeluxe said:

Hi, everyone

I stumbled upon this thread the other day when searching "what to do when you're infatuated with a celebrity" and thought I'd give it a try. Now, when I was in the 7th grade, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome(a neurological developmental disorder found on the Autism Spectrum). Many times with this disorder there is extreme difficulty in social situations, which would explain a lot. I've always had trouble relating to people, especially someone of the opposite gender. I'm a guy, I am awkward at times mostly due to nervousness.

I was reading something about women with Asperger's today at work, and it got me thinking. I've never been officially diagnosed with anything, but I do have quite a few of the traits that were mentioned. Particularly the part about spending an excessive amount of time pursuing a "special interest" to the exclusion of other things...such as having a CO. Aside from my CO's band, I'd say I have a "special interest" in like five other things and most of them are related to each other in some way. Aside from those things, I don't care about much else. Also, I've always had problems socially and felt like I didn't fit in which is another trait. I'm not trying to diagnose anyone else, but it just got me thinking, what if the answer to every question in my life and the reason why I behave the way I do is Asperger's? What if I was always destined to become obsessed with someone or something because of Asperger's? It just makes me feel like there's no way out of obsessing for me...not that I was looking for a way out, but this would just confirm things for me.

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7 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I was reading something about women with Asperger's today at work, and it got me thinking. I've never been officially diagnosed with anything, but I do have quite a few of the traits that were mentioned. Particularly the part about spending an excessive amount of time pursuing a "special interest" to the exclusion of other things...such as having a CO. Aside from my CO's band, I'd say I have a "special interest" in like five other things and most of them are related to each other in some way. Aside from those things, I don't care about much else. Also, I've always had problems socially and felt like I didn't fit in which is another trait. I'm not trying to diagnose anyone else, but it just got me thinking, what if the answer to every question in my life and the reason why I behave the way I do is Asperger's? What if I was always destined to become obsessed with someone or something because of Asperger's? It just makes me feel like there's no way out of obsessing for me...not that I was looking for a way out, but this would just confirm things for me.

I wouldn't try to diagnose anyone either, just speaking from my own personal experience.  I know I don't have Asperger's; I'm not on the Autism spectrum at all.  But a lot of symptoms of AS are also present in people with OCD, and I definitely qualify for that.  There's a website that discusses the differences between the two here

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4 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

I wouldn't try to diagnose anyone either, just speaking from my own personal experience.  I know I don't have Asperger's; I'm not on the Autism spectrum at all.  But a lot of symptoms of AS are also present in people with OCD, and I definitely qualify for that.  There's a website that discusses the differences between the two here

Interesting! I do suffer from anxiety, but I relate more to the Asperger's column than the OCD column particularly because it says "the individual may really enjoy their interest or obsession and therefore, not have the desire to resist it." But I know you said you don't have the desire to resist yours either, so who knows? lol

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15 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Interesting! I do suffer from anxiety, but I relate more to the Asperger's column than the OCD column particularly because it says "the individual may really enjoy their interest or obsession and therefore, not have the desire to resist it." But I know you said you don't have the desire to resist yours either, so who knows? lol

That depends on how we choose to speak about things.  I no longer consider myself "obsessed" with the man I refer to here as my "CO"...it would be more true to say I love him :icon12: than "I'm obsessed with him."  Two years ago, however, I was definitely obsessed with Googling his name...and (at times) that was revealing some unpleasant things, and I don't even know if some of the things I saw are what I thought they were (reading things into a few simple pictures that might mean nothing, always assuming the worst) or if what I assumed is really true (I hope not.) But what I finally realized was: Googling, and all searches had to stop.  << That was an obsession I had to learn to stop...it didn't just happen.  That was OCD in action.  I knew I was getting hurt but I almost couldn't stop myself until l learned some cognitive behavioral techniques from my therapist that greatly helped.  

I'm going to add here....the chart mentioned obsessive thoughts and behaviors manifest in early childhood with AS.  To my best recollection I exhibited no signs of obsessive thoughts or behaviors as a young child.  That probably really didn't begin for me until early adulthood, and it's not just "CO-related"...you could spot signs of OCD in many areas of my life!!  

 

Edited by Audrey822
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3 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

That depends on how we choose to speak about things.  I no longer consider myself "obsessed" with the man I refer to here as my "CO"...it would be more true to say I love him :icon12: than "I'm obsessed with him."  Two years ago, however, I was definitely obsessed with Googling his name...and (at times) that was revealing some unpleasant things, and I don't even know if some of the things I saw are what I thought they were (reading things into a few simple pictures that might mean nothing, always assuming the worst) or if what I assumed is really true (I hope not.) But what I finally realized was: Googling, and all searches had to stop.  << That was an obsession I had to learn to stop...it didn't just happen.  That was OCD in action.  I knew I was getting hurt but I almost couldn't stop myself until l learned some cognitive behavioral techniques from my therapist that greatly helped.  

I'm glad your therapist was able to help. My CO's tour just started, so right now I'm obsessed with watching all of the concert videos that I can find. Unfortunately, I'm hearing that they probably won't be adding any US tour dates, so I won't get to see them this year (or maybe not ever), so I'm sad about that. But of course I have to tell myself that maybe meeting them would've ruined my fantasy somehow, so it's all for the best. :(

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7 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I'm glad your therapist was able to help. My CO's tour just started, so right now I'm obsessed with watching all of the concert videos that I can find. Unfortunately, I'm hearing that they probably won't be adding any US tour dates, so I won't get to see them this year (or maybe not ever), so I'm sad about that. But of course I have to tell myself that maybe meeting them would've ruined my fantasy somehow, so it's all for the best. :(

I'm so sorry you may not see him (them?) but don't give up hope if they only said "probably."  Ruining my fantasy was the main thing I was always so frightened about, so I understand. 

BTW, on the AS vs OCD discussion, I want to add...I wouldn't be surprised if some people who are, or who have been, in this thread may find their symptoms more closely aligned with AS. I'm sure those with AS are just as likely to have a celebrity obsession as those who have OCD. The symptoms are so closely related, it would only make sense. 

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56 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

I'm so sorry you may not see him (them?) but don't give up hope if they only said "probably."  Ruining my fantasy was the main thing I was always so frightened about, so I understand. 

BTW, on the AS vs OCD discussion, I want to add...I wouldn't be surprised if some people who are, or who have been, in this thread may find their symptoms more closely aligned with AS. I'm sure those with AS are just as likely to have a celebrity obsession as those who have OCD. The symptoms are so closely related, it would only make sense. 

Thanks! :( I didn't hear an exact quote, but supposedly they said they "don't know" if they're coming to the US (which is bad because at this point I would think they would know if they were). Also, I know they have other reasons why they probably aren't too excited about coming here right now, so unless I hear differently, I'll just assume that they won't be coming. And yes, it's "them" for me. I was talking about the whole band, really. Of course I really want to see my former CO also, who technically is still a current CO... So really, I have two COs in the same band. But I felt like I needed to declare one over the other so that I could just say "my CO" in singular form when I post something here. "My COs" just doesn't have the same ring to it, you know? lol But it's still both of them for me. I really don't have to choose! I mean, my alter ego in the story has to choose, but I don't. :)

Edited by HopelessRomantic2011
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I don't have Asperger's, but I definitely have OCD. I show all the symptoms of OCD based on that list (the one @Audrey822 shared). I should mention though that I've shown signs of it since early-childhood. Many people with OCD show symptoms as young children, although it doesn't surprise me at all that it would go undiagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. I imagine there are certain traits associated with Asperger's (the social issues, probably) that would trigger parents to seek out a diagnosis. To parents who don't know any better, OCD might just seem like a collection of odd "quirks". I was dealing with intrusive thoughts, rituals, superstitions, hoarding, physical twitches, and more when I was as young as 6 or 7. I was ashamed of it all, and I knew what I was doing was weird, but I couldn't control myself. 

Edited by posie_riot
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16 hours ago, posie_riot said:

I don't have Asperger's, but I definitely have OCD. I show all the symptoms of OCD based on that list (the one @Audrey822 shared). I should mention though that I've shown signs of it since early-childhood. Many people with OCD show symptoms as young children, although it doesn't surprise me at all that it would go undiagnosed until adolescence or adulthood. I imagine there are certain traits associated with Asperger's (the social issues, probably) that would trigger parents to seek out a diagnosis. To parents who don't know any better, OCD might just seem like a collection of odd "quirks". I was dealing with intrusive thoughts, rituals, superstitions, hoarding, physical twitches, and more when I was as young as 6 or 7. I was ashamed of it all, and I knew what I was doing was weird, but I couldn't control myself. 

My parents have always known that I'm quiet, not really into socializing, and that I obsess over my favorite bands, but there was never anything alarming enough that they felt a need to seek out a diagnosis for me. I'm an only child so they probably thought that was normal for me. I always got good grades and never got into any trouble, so they were happy. Also, I don't think people were talking about Asperger's much when I was a kid. And like I said, maybe it's not Asperger's but if it is, I would think that's a big part of why I tend to obsess over bands, make them my whole life, and think of them 24/7 as opposed to just being a casual fan. Maybe that would explain to me why I was never able to just be "normal," and why I still act and feel like my 15 year old self 20 years later. 

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I was taken to a child psychiatrist when I was about 8 or 9 (partly due to lashing out at other kids at school and throwing tantrums). He said it may have been aspergers but didn't think the label would be helpful. As an adult my mum has casually said that she thinks both me and my dad might have it. A therapist has said I have elements of an aspergers mindset but not that I have it.

The thing is though - I'm like a pyschological/neuro hyperchondriac - I've self diagnosed myself with pretty much every non physical thing going at some point despite not really fitting the criteria for anything and, for me, its not helpful. It's almost an obsession in its own right! I'm just searching for some excuse for how I've ended up where I am - almost certainly single for the rest of my life, unable to connect with people, too wimpish to ask a girl out, with a CO, feeling I can't do my job, lacking basic life skills, not exersizing, void of interests besides me CO these days and wasting all my free time on the internet. If there isn't a medical explanation then I'm just plain really bad at life - and that's harder to stomach. Especially when pretty much everyone seems to have something psychological or neuro these days and yet they're all doing better at the stuff I just listed than I am.

Interesting that @HopelessRomantic2011 mentioned being an only child. I am too. Are there many of us here? It would make sense if there's a correlation between being an only child and having a CO. You do learn to live in your own mind a bit when you don't have brothers and sisters to play with growing up.

Edited by MysteryName
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Regarding the OCD/Asperger's question, I think both could definitely be strongly linked to having a CO. In my case, I believe it's fairly likely that I have OCD, and it's definitely played a big factor in terms of obsessively searching for info about my CO, etc. (though thankfully I've been able to cut that down to a more manageable level now). I wouldn't say that OCD caused me to develop feelings for my CO - that happened purely because I find him very handsome, interesting and charming. However, I'm not sure things would have ever got to this stage were I not such an obsessive person.

Most people have at least one celebrity crush whose looks/personality/talents they admire a lot. But somehow they don't invest a tonne of hopes, dreams and emotional energy in that person, and they remain capable of feeling content in a relationship with someone more attainable. I think they have a sort of switch inside their minds that they can press whenever they notice an attraction to someone unattainable that allows them to be realistic about the situation, and just enjoy having a harmless crush with no expectations of anything more. This is just my theory of what it might be like to live inside the head of a more "normal" person, lol!

Sadly, I am cursed to live inside my own head... And it seems I have a big problem regarding obsessive romantic attractions with unattainable guys... Twice in my life I have fallen very very hard for someone. One was a guy I knew personally, the other is my current CO. I had/have very little chance of a relationship with either of them. (It's worth mentioning that all the other more minor crushes I've had have also been unattainable.) But for whatever reason, that didn't/doesn't stop me feeling the way I do. If anything, it just makes me even more fixated... Because the truth is, I just can't make myself see things realistically. Something inside me carries on obsessively believing I have a chance, even though the logical part of me knows I don't...

This post has ended up being longer than I expected. But I just wanted to mention that interestingly enough (well, to me at least), quite a few people think my CO might have OCD. I couldn't say if that was true or not, but he's certainly an obsessive person. Which is a sign that we're destined to be together. Obviously. :roll2:

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2 hours ago, MysteryName said:


Interesting that @HopelessRomantic2011 mentioned being an only child. I am too. Are there many of us here? It would make sense if there's a correlation between being an only child and having a CO. You do learn to live in your own mind a bit when you don't have brothers and sisters to play with growing up.

Another one here. ?

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My only child theory: we spend a lot more time alone vs. those growing up with siblings. I'm sure that accounts for intense, almost constant maladaptive daydreaming, and maladaptive daydreaming will eventually include a romantic interest for the daydreamer. When the daydreamer is very young, it's likely this romantic interest will come from the entertainment field: TV, movies, music. It may be especially true for an only child with limited experiences...seeing these celebrities is what we know best. 

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36 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

My only child theory: we spend a lot more time alone vs. those growing up with siblings. I'm sure that accounts for intense, almost constant maladaptive daydreaming, and maladaptive daydreaming will eventually include a romantic interest for the daydreamer. When the daydreamer is very young, it's likely this romantic interest will come from the entertainment field: TV, movies, music. It may be especially true for an only child with limited experiences...seeing these celebrities is what we know best. 

Yup! I always loved movies and music as a kid. Some of my first "romantic" daydreams were about Jean Claude Van Damme after I saw him in Kickboxer. ?

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Hi all. Just wanted to drop in and say hey.

I was diagnosed with autism when I was 3. I don't know about Asperger's though. Forget about getting diagnosed in my city, they'd rather diagnose you with a mental illness. I'm not an only child. I'm actually the youngest of 5 in my adopted family. My parents didn't know what to do with me. I don't think they believed in autism. My mom was 60 when she adopted me. My oldest sister was instrumental in my being raised. She knew more about autism than anyone in the family.

I know I have OCD at some level. It takes a lot to get me obsessed with something/someone these days. I still have obsessions with crushes from high school. One of my main obsessions these days is a guy I met my first semester in college. I want him to take my virginity, but he's gay. Part of me is still holding out hope that he could be bi so he could actually want to be with a woman. I've always liked a challenge. I've had several obsessions with guys that I've known that were either unavailable or not interested in me.

I guess you could say I'm still obsessed with Steven to an extent. It's getting really hard for me to not like his posts on FB, but I made a promise to him in my e-mail and to myself that I wouldn't do so.

And how am I doing? Well, not much has changed. I have a new case manager that I like. No luck in the counseling area. Life still sucks a lot of the time. I don't know what else to do or say about that. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired, but I just feel stuck in my ways. I see myself changing, yet I also don't see myself changing, if that makes sense. Whatever. I'm just taking it one day at a time.

 

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On 3/16/2017 at 3:38 PM, MysteryName said:

The thing is though - I'm like a pyschological/neuro hyperchondriac - I've self diagnosed myself with pretty much every non physical thing going at some point despite not really fitting the criteria for anything and, for me, its not helpful. It's almost an obsession in its own right! I'm just searching for some excuse for how I've ended up where I am - almost certainly single for the rest of my life, unable to connect with people, too wimpish to ask a girl out, with a CO, feeling I can't do my job, lacking basic life skills, not exersizing, void of interests besides me CO these days and wasting all my free time on the internet. If there isn't a medical explanation then I'm just plain really bad at life - and that's harder to stomach. Especially when pretty much everyone seems to have something psychological or neuro these days and yet they're all doing better at the stuff I just listed than I am.

@MysteryName "If there isn't a medical explanation then I'm just plain really bad at life - and that's harder to stomach." That's exactly how I feel. In my case, I feel like I've had so many opportunities to succeed in life, and I still don't. Yes, I earn a decent living, own a home, am a law abiding citizen, etc. but I feel like I've failed at the things that really matter, such as having the ability to make meaningful connections with other people. For some reason, I just can't do that. 

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Interesting discussion. I certainly don't have autism (Aspergers is now just considered under the autism spectrum umbrella).  I have normal relationships, a normal marriage. I'm a good parent, I have fulfilling friendships. I do keep my friends at arms-length, though. I really shouldn't. 

I just have this super-daydreamy, creative mind which some people might consider odd if they find out. I've been too obsessed all my life with entertainment, music, movies and actors. I have 'movies in my head' going on all the time and love to create my own sequels and backstories for movie and TV characters. I've done it since I was 9 or 10, and never outgrew it. Luckily, I've channeled it into real writing. At first it was fanfiction (childish hobby for sure) now I come up with original stories. I'm still plugging away at trying to pitch my novel manuscripts to agents!

I have a few celebrity crushes right now, but I'm glad to say they are NOT CO's. The good thing is that these actors and musicians I love don't have their significant others in the public eye. We don't see them.Their wives are ordinary citizens and I'd imagine it to be very hard for them right now- their husbands being away, jet-setting all over the world, making their promos and public appearances with fans. These actors are now much more famous in recent years than they had been.

Besides, for me it's one of those cases where it's the fictional characters these actors play that I am truly in love with! 

 

Edited by imalittleteapot
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16 minutes ago, imalittleteapot said:

Interesting discussion. I certainly don't have autism (Aspergers is now just considered under the autism spectrum umbrella).  I have normal relationships, a normal marriage. I'm a good parent, I have fulfilling friendships. I do keep my friends at arms-length, though. I really shouldn't. 

I just have this super-daydreamy, creative mind which some people might consider odd if they find out. I've been too obsessed all my life with entertainment, music, movies and actors. I have 'movies in my head' going on all the time and love to create my own sequels and backstories for movie and TV characters. I've done it since I was 9 or 10, and never outgrew it. Luckily, I've channeled it into real writing. At first it was fanfiction (childish hobby for sure) now I come up with original stories. I'm still plugging away at trying to pitch my novel manuscripts to agents!

I have a few celebrity crushes right now, but I'm glad to say they are NOT CO's. The good thing is that these actors and musicians I love don't have their significant others in the public eye. We don't see them.Their wives are ordinary citizens and I'd imagine it to be very hard for them right now- their husbands being away, jet-setting all over the world, making their promos and public appearances with fans. These actors are now much more famous in recent years than they had been.

Besides, for me it's one of those cases where it's the fictional characters these actors play that I am truly in love with! 

 

Good luck with that! Two of my former coworkers (who I had no idea were writers in their spare time), recently had novels published, which is awesome for them. As I've said before, I really don't like the idea of showing my writing to other people or feeling pressure to write something to please an audience, so I just prefer to write for myself. Of course, there's also the fact that I never finish any of my stories anyway, but I'm also not trying to finish them. It's just an ongoing thing that I do to entertain myself, so I guess I'm more of a daydreamer than a writer. But I'm happy to have a creative mind in this regard even if I don't actually do anything productive with it. :)

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2 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

@MysteryName "If there isn't a medical explanation then I'm just plain really bad at life - and that's harder to stomach." That's exactly how I feel. In my case, I feel like I've had so many opportunities to succeed in life, and I still don't. Yes, I earn a decent living, own a home, am a law abiding citizen, etc. but I feel like I've failed at the things that really matter, such as having the ability to make meaningful connections with other people. For some reason, I just can't do that. 

I'm just going to make a brief statement in response to this before I end up triggering myself.  I'm not really bad at life...or I wouldn't be, but I know exactly why I'm not as successful as I should be, and it all goes back to the way I was raised.  I've tried my best to rise above it as best I can, but a lot of things that we need to know in life, we need to learn earlier than I learned them...and we need to do them earlier than I could do them.  A lot of things in life passed me by before I even knew they existed.  I'm not autistic, I just spent a lot of time living in my head because if I hadn't done that I wouldn't have lived much at all.  When I've said "my CO saved me" it wasn't hyperbole....it was literal.  

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