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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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@sv14 I am telling you with 99% certainty that this relationship will not last. Your CO may be having a good time being with this awful woman at the moment, but I'm sure that deep down he knows that she doesn't really love him and that she's definitely not marriage material. If he hasn't already realised this and decides to commit further to the relationship, I very much hope for his and your sake that he has good friends and family around him to make him see what a terrible mistake he's making.

Another point - of course I know and understand how strong and genuine your feelings for your CO are. However, he is absolutely not worth you wishing you were dead because of his personal life. I know you already know this, but even if he were single, it would still be highly unlikely that you would have the opportunity to get to know him well enough in order to have a relationship with him.

The truth is most people fall in love more than once during their lifetime. And although it hurts like h*ll when you believe someone's the one for you and they end up with someone else (believe me, I've been there), you have to remember that there's another great person out there somewhere waiting for you. I know only too well that situations like this are a nightmare to move on from, but at some point you have to just stop wasting your heart over this guy.

The way I see it, you have 2 options:

1) Work on finding a way of enjoying your obsession while ignoring your CO's personal life

2) Make the decision to cut him out of your life, take the time to heal from what has happened, and eventually move on and possibly find new love.

This really boils down to what exactly it is that's hurting you so much - the destruction of your fantasy with your CO, or the reduced likelihood of an actual relationship with him. One thing's for sure, you cannot carry on feeling the way you do now. You need to try to find some kind of solution.

Sorry for the long post, but I feel really concerned for you and what you're going through right now. Just know we're thinking of you and wishing you all the best. :console:

Edited by OpalP25
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@Audrey822 I don't mind answering the questions at all, thanks for reading and replying to my post. 

-What scares you so much? -

Losing control. I was in a really bad place with my teenage obsession. I found some old diaries recently and the things I wrote in there are just sad. I loved that man more than my life. That scares me. I wouldn't even say I'm obsessed now, I even came in this thread becuse of another guy who I don't have such strong feelings for anymore. It didn't last that long nor was it that intense but it still scared me just like this new one is scaring me now. There's a pattern and every new CO is a potential disaster in my book.

 

-Not trying to be nosy, but I can only help with more information. What are you trying to prevent? If you don't want to disclose that, at least ask yourself: is that really worse than the "more harmful methods of dealing with depression" you speak of? -

I'm trying to prevent having emotions for a stranger as strong as I once had and being that miserable again. So far I'm enjoying it and I'm hoping to learn from you guys how to control it and make it be the healthiest or just that one good way of fighting depression that won't just drag me deeper. So far it's even been inspiring and helpful.

Could it be worse than other ways? Absolutely. And it could lead to those other stuff. 

I know, I have compulsive behaviours that aren't related to my obsessive thoughts and I've never been diagnosed with OCD but there clearly is something going on in my brain. I see this as a comping mechanism first. When my brain can't take stress anymore it looks for ways to save itself from depression. 

I think as I'm more mature now I'll handle this whole internet thing better than I used to. I understand this better now and know that we aren't really meant for each other and he isn't that special. It's just how I see him rn now and it could easily change in a matter of weeks. 

Thank you for your advice, I don't know how but in my whole CO history I've never been heartbroken in a sense that my CO got married or something. I guess I was lucky but in case it happens staying away from the Internet would probably be the best thing to do. And being brutaly realistic about the nature of my feelings.

Sorry for the sloppy writing, I'm tired, my poor English didn't help either, I know. I hope you understood what I was trying to say.

Have a nice day guys! ?

 

 

Edited by CrazyinLove
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1 hour ago, CrazyinLove said:

@Audrey822 I don't mind answering the questions at all, thanks for reading and replying to my post. 

-What scares you so much? -

Losing control. I was in a really bad place with my teenage obsession. I found some old diaries recently and the things I wrote in there are just sad. I loved that man more than my life. That scares me. I wouldn't even say I'm obsessed now, I even came in this thread becuse of another guy who I don't have such strong feelings for anymore. It didn't last that long nor was it that intense but it still scared me just like this new one is scaring me now. There's a pattern and every new CO is a potential disaster in my book.

 

-Not trying to be nosy, but I can only help with more information. What are you trying to prevent? If you don't want to disclose that, at least ask yourself: is that really worse than the "more harmful methods of dealing with depression" you speak of? -

I'm trying to prevent having emotions for a stranger as strong as I once had and being that miserable again. So far I'm enjoying it and I'm hoping to learn from you guys how to control it and make it be the healthiest or just that one good way of fighting depression that won't just drag me deeper. So far it's even been inspiring and helpful.

Could it be worse than other ways? Absolutely. And it could lead to those other stuff. 

I know, I have compulsive behaviours that aren't related to my obsessive thoughts and I've never been diagnosed with OCD but there clearly is something going on in my brain. I see this as a comping mechanism first. When my brain can't take stress anymore it looks for ways to save itself from depression. 

think as I'm more mature now I'll handle this whole internet thing better than I used to. I understand this better now and know that we aren't really meant for each other and he isn't that special. It's just how I see him rn now and it could easily change in a matter of weeks.

Thank you for your advice, I don't know how but in my whole CO history I've never been heartbroken in a sense that my CO got married or something. I guess I was lucky but in case it happens staying away from the Internet would probably be the best thing to do. And being brutaly realistic about the nature of my feelings.

Sorry for the sloppy writing, I'm tired, my poor English didn't help either, I know. I hope you understood what I was trying to say.

Have a nice day guys! ?

 

 

I think the best thing to do to keep yourself from getting too involved is to not take this whole CO thing seriously. Of course that's easier said than done and not everyone can do it. I think the best thing to do is keep your CO in his proper place and not make him the most important thing in your life. Once again, that may not be so easy to do because some of us may think that our CO is the main bright spot in our lives. But we have no control over what they do, they can disappoint us, and they don't belong to us.

I think since you've had COs in the past that you had strong feelings for and you've gotten over them, you know that you can get over the current one as well (if necessary) and continue with your life. As I've said before, I pretty much thought all my COs were the greatest things ever and couldn't get enough of them during the time that I was obsessed with them, but it always eventually runs its course for me. Knowing that will likely be the case this time around too, I'm just going to enjoy it while it lasts but it shouldn't be a thing that I allow to cause me pain because there's no point to that. I think all of my COs have been positive experiences for me and I don't regret having any of them.

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1 hour ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I think the best thing to do to keep yourself from getting too involved is to not take this whole CO thing seriously. Of course that's easier said than done and not everyone can do it. I think the best thing to do is keep your CO in his proper place and not make him the most important thing in your life. Once again, that may not be so easy to do because some of us may think that our CO is the main bright spot in our lives. 

Good advice for someone who doesn't want to get too involved.  If anyone wants to be certain they don't get too involved, they should protect their heart.  I didn't, but I'm fine with the way things are.

I've said this many times here before...my feelings for the man I refer to here as my "CO" are not dependent on him being a celebrity.  When I was hurting and looking for support a few weeks before finally finding this board, I didn't even think of him as a celebrity. His status as a minor celebrity (he was never a household name) only made it possible for me to see his face and know his name, but as @posie_riot said the other day, if he hadn't been a guitar player in a moderately successful band a very long time ago, I, too might have been lumped in the category of those who have an "Unhealthy Obsession With a Grocery Store Clerk." (LOL)  And if that had been the case, we wouldn't be having this discussion because it's only those of us who have crushes/obsessions/love for celebrities who must carry this stigma for some reason.  

Some may want to call me "delusional" because I say I love this man.  That's fine; I can take it.  Only I really know what's in my heart and why it's there. I can't help but make him one of the most important people (not things) in my life because that's what one does when one is in love with someone.  My children would be the only two people in the universe who would be ahead of him; behind those two, he is the bright spot in my life and I don't only think so....I know so.  :icon12:  Just because he doesn't belong to me and never will, doesn't change it.  Just because he'll never know how I feel, doesn't make me feel any less.  

Not directed at you personally, @HopelessRomantic2011....for anyone not in my shoes, your advice is very good. I just had to get this out because I'd feel I'm being unfair to this man that I love if I didn't. 

 

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2 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

Good advice for someone who doesn't want to get too involved.  If anyone wants to be certain they don't get too involved, they should protect their heart.  I didn't, but I'm fine with the way things are.

I've said this many times here before...my feelings for the man I refer to here as my "CO" are not dependent on him being a celebrity.  When I was hurting and looking for support a few weeks before finally finding this board, I didn't even think of him as a celebrity. His status as a minor celebrity (he was never a household name) only made it possible for me to see his face and know his name, but as @posie_riot said the other day, if he hadn't been a guitar player in a moderately successful band a very long time ago, I, too might have been lumped in the category of those who have an "Unhealthy Obsession With a Grocery Store Clerk." (LOL)  And if that had been the case, we wouldn't be having this discussion because it's only those of us who have crushes/obsessions/love for celebrities who must carry this stigma for some reason.  

Some may want to call me "delusional" because I say I love this man.  That's fine; I can take it.  Only I really know what's in my heart and why it's there. I can't help but make him one of the most important people (not things) in my life because that's what one does when one is in love with someone.  My children would be the only two people in the universe who would be ahead of him; behind those two, he is the bright spot in my life and I don't only think so....I know so.  :icon12:  Just because he doesn't belong to me and never will, doesn't change it.  Just because he'll never know how I feel, doesn't make me feel any less.  

Not directed at you personally, @HopelessRomantic2011....for anyone not in my shoes, your advice is very good. I just had to get this out because I'd feel I'm being unfair to this man that I love if I didn't. 

 

Not really directed at you @Audrey822, but just my overall 2 cents. 

How does anyone "protect their heart"? Whoever can figure out a way would make billions! I'm talking here about being in love, not necessarily being in love with a celebrity. As you (Audrey) pointed out, this isn't a "celebrity" issue for me as much as it is just a human issue. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have gotten so involved with my CO as a fan, but I couldn't have exactly predicted what would end up happening to me. Maybe I could've nipped this in the bud very early on, but that would've required an extraordinary level of foresight and control. Then again, what really did it for me was an autobiography that I innocently read. Should I have stopped halfway through the book when I realized I was "catching feelings"? lol. I was a "normal fan" of my CO's before reading that book. I wasn't in love or obsessed with him before that.

I'm not comfortable with the "delusional" label, although I realize some will see me that way. I don't know if my CO is exactly "the bright spot" in my life at this moment. As I explained a couple days ago, I'm a little bit stuck now in "manageable misery". I'm not really enjoying this obsession anymore, but I'm learning to accept my love for him because that's the only logical way for me to go about things. I can't ignore his personal life and I know that's not really the right choice for me anyway. I don't have an alter ego. I used to fantasize mostly about a future with my CO (and that future is gone). Trying to "move on" (i.e stop loving him) was making things worse for me because it felt like I was lying to myself. I don't want to blame myself for not doing a good enough job at "getting it together". That's just not how moving on works. It usually has to happen naturally, or not at all. I am going with the flow right now, which is something that I (someone with OCD control issues) am not used to. 

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2 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

Good advice for someone who doesn't want to get too involved.  If anyone wants to be certain they don't get too involved, they should protect their heart.  I didn't, but I'm fine with the way things are.

I've said this many times here before...my feelings for the man I refer to here as my "CO" are not dependent on him being a celebrity.  When I was hurting and looking for support a few weeks before finally finding this board, I didn't even think of him as a celebrity. His status as a minor celebrity (he was never a household name) only made it possible for me to see his face and know his name, but as @posie_riot said the other day, if he hadn't been a guitar player in a moderately successful band a very long time ago, I, too might have been lumped in the category of those who have an "Unhealthy Obsession With a Grocery Store Clerk." (LOL)  And if that had been the case, we wouldn't be having this discussion because it's only those of us who have crushes/obsessions/love for celebrities who must carry this stigma for some reason.  

Some may want to call me "delusional" because I say I love this man.  That's fine; I can take it.  Only I really know what's in my heart and why it's there. I can't help but make him one of the most important people (not things) in my life because that's what one does when one is in love with someone.  My children would be the only two people in the universe who would be ahead of him; behind those two, he is the bright spot in my life and I don't only think so....I know so.  :icon12:  Just because he doesn't belong to me and never will, doesn't change it.  Just because he'll never know how I feel, doesn't make me feel any less.  

Not directed at you personally, @HopelessRomantic2011....for anyone not in my shoes, your advice is very good. I just had to get this out because I'd feel I'm being unfair to this man that I love if I didn't. 

 

Only you know what your feelings are for your CO, so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. The good thing is that you accept your feelings, you're fine with the way things are, and you're not torturing yourself over it. My cat is my one true love, and I'm not willing to say that my CO is right behind her. I mean, he's a cool guy and all, but it's going to take more than that to be second in line to my cat! He would have to earn that spot! :)

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30 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

Not really directed at you @Audrey822, but just my overall 2 cents. 

How does anyone "protect their heart"? Whoever can figure out a way would make billions! I'm talking here about being in love, not necessarily being in love with a celebrity. As you pointed out, this isn't a "celebrity" issue for me as much as it is just a human issue. Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have gotten so involved with my CO as a fan, but I couldn't have exactly predicted what would end up happening to me. Maybe I could've nipped this in the bud very early on, but that would've required an extraordinary level of foresight and control. Then again, what really did it for me was an autobiography that I innocently read. Should I have stopped halfway through the book when I realized I was "catching feelings"? lol. I was a "normal fan" of my CO's before reading that book. I wasn't in love or obsessed with him before that.

I'm not comfortable with the "delusional" label, although I realize some will see me that way. I don't know if my CO is exactly "the bright spot" in my life at this moment. As I explained a couple days ago, I'm a little bit stuck now in "manageable misery". I'm not really enjoying this obsession anymore, but I'm learning to accept my love for him because that's the only logical way for me to go about things. I can't ignore his personal life and I know that's not really the right choice for me anyway. I don't have an alter ego. I used to fantasize mostly about a future with my CO (and that future is gone). Trying to "move on" (i.e stop loving him) was making things worse for me because it felt like I was lying to myself. I don't want to blame myself for not doing a good enough job at "getting it together". That's just not how moving on works. It usually has to happen naturally, or not at all. I am going with the flow right now, which is something that I (someone with OCD control issues) am not used to. 

I take no offense to your post @posie_riot...I only said most of that to soften the blow.  I have no idea how one is supposed to "protect their heart."  I'm the one who always says the heart wants what the heart wants.  It's almost like a tidal wave that can't be stopped (in my opinion.) 

Looking back, perhaps I shouldn't have gotten so involved with my CO as a fan, but I couldn't have exactly predicted what would end up happening to me.

At the sweet, innocent age of 11, I suppose I could say this too.  But with just one look, my heart was already hooked even if my little immature brain didn't realize yet what had happened. And the more  saw of him, the more I listened to him, and the more I learned about him....it just kept building and growing.  As I've said before, there were long periods of time when I saw no evidence that this man was even still present on the face of the earth.  I don't only mean a couple of years either.  I've had other crushes that make me cringe when I think back about them after only 3 or 4 years or so....but I've had 10-15 year periods in between sightings of this man, and upon first glance of seeing him again and...(*taking a deep breath*) people here talk about a "honeymoon phase" of a CO...it's like that feeling all over again.  That feeling never ended for me.  When I rediscovered his music after 30+ years of being without it, remastered on iTunes, and with soundproof earbuds....OMG, OMG, OMG!!  There are no words ...only an emoticon will do: :icon12: No, I could not have predicted what would happen, but it brought me in one fell swoop into 2013 technology (hey, I'll bet he's on the Internet too!) and I was gone. ?For good things and not-so-good things, as you know. 

I'm not comfortable with the "delusional" label

Neither am I.  No one would be, but I can't stop someone from thinking of me that way if that's how they choose to see me for feeling as I do.  That's all I meant by that.  

I know you and I are on the same page.  I'm preaching to the choir here. :hugs:

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12 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Only you know what your feelings are for your CO, so it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. The good thing is that you accept your feelings, you're fine with the way things are, and you're not torturing yourself over it. My cat is my one true love, and I'm not willing to say that my CO is right behind her. I mean, he's a cool guy and all, but it's going to take more than that to be second in line to my cat! He would have to earn that spot! :)

I've always known you understood me, and I appreciate that.  We're not on the same page as far as COs are concerned, but it's not necessary to be.  We both accept each other for the way we are.  :hugs:Thank you. ?

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@After Rain, thanks for the question.

Not much has happened since the Steven revelation. I still enjoy him from a respectable distance. As for finding something to fill the space, I have my other CO, Constantine. He's doing a great job being himself. :-) I'm doing better there, but I'm actually doing worse off because of new issues that have come up. More on those later.

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On February 16, 2017 at 1:11 AM, posie_riot said:

@sv14 I agree with everything @Audrey822 said and I am sincerely sad that you're going through this. 

To answer your question: Do you ever feel like you know your CO and you are sure of what they're going to do?

Yes. When I was still keeping up with my CO's every move, I was also predicting his every next move. I drove myself insane this way. I know him better than the woman he's marrying. This is one of the many reasons I had to back off. My CO is mind-numbingly stupid too (in his personal life) and I could no longer put myself through the pain of just sitting back and watching his life play out while being powerless to do anything. It's a slow death.

You are worth so much more than this. 

Quoting my own post here. I know I've mentioned this so many times before, but it occurred to me that I should say it again. When I say that "I had to back off"...that's pretty much a euphemism for what actually happened. It wasn't so much a decision. It was totally necessary after I hit rock bottom over information I couldn't deal with. I don't want it to seem like I'm saying to you: "It's simple! Just do what I did and back off!" :closedeyes: You are worth more than the pain your CO is causing you right now with his bad decisions. Your life is worth more than you think it is. That's what I meant. I didn't mean: "Don't be silly, stop doing this to yourself, you're worth more than that." I know how difficult it is to stop when real emotions are involved. Your CO is a person, not a "bad habit". 

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In a post I made here a couple of months ago, I mentioned a guy who was showing some signs of having a crush on me. Well, he is no longer showing those signs and, judging from his Facebook, it seems he now has a serious girlfriend lol!

Of course I'm relieved that things didn't get to an awkward stage, as I don't like him in that way. But I find it both amusing and bizarre how fickle some people are! It's true that I do have occasional minor crushes/obsessions that don't last, but in general, when I fall for someone, I'm in it for the long haul. So this guy's sudden change in behaviour (although I'm glad about it) seems quite odd to me. Just another example of how little I relate to other people my age and their dating styles. :roll2:

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18 minutes ago, OpalP25 said:

In a post I made here a couple of months ago, I mentioned a guy who was showing some signs of having a crush on me. Well, he is no longer showing those signs and, judging from his Facebook, it seems he now has a serious girlfriend lol!

Of course I'm relieved that things didn't get to an awkward stage, as I don't like him in that way. But I find it both amusing and bizarre how fickle some people are! It's true that I do have occasional minor crushes/obsessions that don't last, but in general, when I fall for someone, I'm in it for the long haul. So this guy's sudden change in behaviour (although I'm glad about it) seems quite odd to me. Just another example of how little I relate to other people my age and their dating styles. :roll2:

Guys (and girls) can definitely be fickle, but in this case, it's best that he did move on since you weren't interested. I'm not interested in anyone other than my CO at the moment, but since work is stressing me out so badly, I decided to reactivate my dating profile once again as a distraction. It's always the same faces on there but a few new faces too. 

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I started to post about this last night, but I included too many details...I had to delete it. I wasn't ready to think rationally yet. I may never be ready to think rationally again (LOL) but I'm going to try to do better this time. ?

I met my CO last night. :icon12: That's why I got so crazy...crazy enough to post something that might have given away everything. And I do mean everything.  As I said, I couldn't think rationally or even be trusted to spell my name correctly last night :cheesy: so this was perfectly understandable, but it had to be scrubbed. 

Everyone here who's known me long enough knows I've always said "I don't want to meet him!" because my fantasy that includes him and my alter ego, ongoing for almost 50 years, must be preserved at all costs. I always worried about 2 things: Would I see him with someone? And would I be able to walk away? 

But the way this transpired, I was almost given no choice. It was going to be an unavoidable situation. On the afternoon of January 26, I was stunned to learn that my CO's band would be performing at an annual event that takes place approximately 4 blocks from my house. ?I have no idea why it never occurred to me before that this might be a possibility one day; this event has always included bands from the 60s & 70s as part of the 3-day lineup...but there it was. 

There was no way out; not going was not an option...that would be tortuous. I knew from past experience, even with the windows closed, I can always hear the music from this event from inside my house. I don't mind that, but knowing it's him ...4 blocks away...that would have been the cruelest thing in the world. I didn't think it was fair that I had to break my rule that way, but what choice did I have?  ?

So I made plans to go (alone, because...why not? My husband is always saying he's sick of hearing this band when I play them on my iPhone...yes, he's jealous ?...and having him there would have been unnecessarily awkward. So we mutually agreed I'd go alone.) I got a backstage pass and -- without providing too many details that would give too much away, I'm just going to say circumstances made it possible for me to have a brief one-on-one meeting with my CO that left me very happy....fantasy not only intact, but intensified. :icon12: 

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38 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

I started to post about this last night, but I included too many details...I had to delete it. I wasn't ready to think rationally yet. I may never be ready to think rationally again (LOL) but I'm going to try to do better this time. ?

I met my CO last night. :icon12: That's why I got so crazy...crazy enough to post something that might have given away everything. And I do mean everything.  As I said, I couldn't think rationally or even be trusted to spell my name correctly last night :cheesy: so this was perfectly understandable, but it had to be scrubbed. 

Everyone here who's known me long enough knows I've always said "I don't want to meet him!" because my fantasy that includes him and my alter ego, ongoing for almost 50 years, must be preserved at all costs. I always worried about 2 things: Would I see him with someone? And would I be able to walk away? 

But the way this transpired, I was almost given no choice. It was going to be an unavoidable situation. On the afternoon of January 26, I was stunned to learn that my CO's band would be performing at an annual event that takes place approximately 4 blocks from my house. ?I have no idea why it never occurred to me before that this might be a possibility one day; this event has always included bands from the 60s & 70s as part of the 3-day lineup...but there it was. 

There was no way out; not going was not an option...that would be tortuous. I knew from past experience, even with the windows closed, I can always hear the music from this event from inside my house. I don't mind that, but knowing it's him ...4 blocks away...that would have been the cruelest thing in the world. I didn't think it was fair that I had to break my rule that way, but what choice did I have?  ?

So I made plans to go (alone, because...why not? My husband is always saying he's sick of hearing this band when I play them on my iPhone...yes, he's jealous ?...and having him there would have been unnecessarily awkward. So we mutually agreed I'd go alone.) I got a backstage pass and -- without providing too many details that would give too much away, I'm just going to say circumstances made it possible for me to have a brief one-on-one meeting with my CO that left me very happy....fantasy not only intact, but intensified. :icon12: 

Yay!! This is such wonderful news! I think it was probably a good thing that you found out about it at the end of January so that you didn't have too much time to stress out over it. Imagine if you knew you were going to see him but that you would have to wait months or even longer. I am glad that the meeting went well! I imagine that you probably had a hard time sleeping last night! Did it take you forever to decide on an outfit? ?

But it sounds like 2017 is off to a good start in terms of positive encounters with COs! I hope that everyone who wants to meet their CO will get that opportunity someday.

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42 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Yay!! This is such wonderful news! I think it was probably a good thing that you found out about it at the end of January so that you didn't have too much time to stress out over it. Imagine if you knew you were going to see him but that you would have to wait months or even longer. I am glad that the meeting went well! I imagine that you probably had a hard time sleeping last night! Did it take you forever to decide on an outfit? ?

But it sounds like 2017 is off to a good start in terms of positive encounters with COs! I hope that everyone who wants to meet their CO will get that opportunity someday.

Thank you!! I've had the biggest smile on my face all day!! :icon12: 

Let me tell you, I had exactly 22 days advance notice, and I experienced enough anxiety during that time to last me for the next 10 years!!  I was on an emotional roller coaster ride and it wasn't always fun.  I imagined the worst possible outcomes at times...my therapist rightly accuses me of "catastrophizing" situations.  She knows me quite well.  

You're right about not being able to go to sleep last night!  I was wired!!  I just wanted to party all night, but there was no one to party with!! LOL  When I made that post on here, I knew I had to shut myself down though.  It was an intoxicating feeling, but I didn't have anything to drink.  I've heard warnings about "drunk posting" though,  The feeling that I had was enough to stop me...LOL

It was an outdoor venue, and the weather was far from perfect, so that factored into what I wore.  I had to make a last minute change, about that but I was satisfied with my decision.  Everything turned out perfectly!! ?

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6 hours ago, MysteryName said:

Wow @Audrey822 that's great news! I can't begin to imagine how amazing that must have felt! I'm not surprised you were on such an almost drunk like high afterwards! So happy for you! :)

I'm still in a trance. I'm looking at my beloved pictures from "back in the day" when I first fell in love with him...and I'm thinking Oh my God! I met that man!  I listened to my very favorite song that he sings (which just happens to be my very favorite song of all-time in the world :icon12: ) on my playlist last night...same thing: Oh my God!  I met that man!  I can't believe it.  It feels like it happened in a dream.  But it was the nicest dream ever. :icon12:

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11 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

I'm still in a trance. I'm looking at my beloved pictures from "back in the day" when I first fell in love with him...and I'm thinking Oh my God! I met that man!  I listened to my very favorite song that he sings (which just happens to be my very favorite song of all-time in the world :icon12: ) on my playlist last night...same thing: Oh my God!  I met that man!  I can't believe it.  It feels like it happened in a dream.  But it was the nicest dream ever. :icon12:

*coming out of years of lurking*

AUDREY- I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!! <3 

To think that now you and your CO have a connection, and you have the satisfaction of knowing he will be your "forever friend."

I'm so, so glad that you were finally brave enough to meet him! That is wonderful! :) I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I kept lurking and checking this thread the past 2 years to follow your CO story. I wanted you to be happy, Audrey. I am so, SO happy for you now!  

I posted in this thread years ago, but I didn't truly have a CO. I had a case of 'limerence' which I had been very confused and troubled by. This CO thread was the only thing that came close to what I was going through. I've had hundreds of celebrity crushes in my life but none were the heartwrenching ones as so many of you here have described. They were all fun!

My problem and why I'm back here is this- I think I am about to START getting CO's! Yikes! I'm trying to nip them in the bud by not researching or finding anything about these semi-famous men. I want to keep them 'fun'- not feel like I'd rather be married to them than my own hubby. That would not be good! One is a contemporary Christian singer (I am a born-again Christian so I listen to that type of music all the time. One male singer's beautiful voice, along with his photos and videos- oh, he just made me swoon, a lot like Audrey's story!) The other potential CO is an actor in an upcoming movie. I don't really feel 'in love' or swoony about him though. He's still just fun. The Christian singer is the one I'm worried about.

I'm a happily married 46 year old woman, with the same guy for 23 years, and I've just had this tendency. I'm a Myers-Briggs INFP, and it's a symptom of my personality type. 

Anyway, out of lurking, so happy for you Audrey with your CO! Carry on.....

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11 minutes ago, imalittleteapot said:

*coming out of years of lurking*

AUDREY- I AM SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!! <3 

To think that now you and your CO have a connection, and you have the satisfaction of knowing he will be your "forever friend."

I'm so, so glad that you were finally brave enough to meet him! That is wonderful! :) I hope this doesn't sound weird, but I kept lurking and checking this thread the past 2 years to follow your CO story. I wanted you to be happy, Audrey. I am so, SO happy for you now!  

I posted in this thread years ago, but I didn't truly have a CO. I had a case of 'limerence' which I had been very confused and troubled by. This CO thread was the only thing that came close to what I was going through. I've had hundreds of celebrity crushes in my life but none were the heartwrenching ones as so many of you here have described. They were all fun!

My problem and why I'm back here is this- I think I am about to START getting CO's! Yikes! I'm trying to nip them in the bud by not researching or finding anything about these semi-famous men. I want to keep them 'fun'- not feel like I'd rather be married to them than my own hubby. That would not be good! One is a contemporary Christian singer (I am a born-again Christian so I listen to that type of music all the time. One male singer's beautiful voice, along with his photos and videos- oh, he just made me swoon, a lot like Audrey's story!) The other potential CO is an actor in an upcoming movie. I don't really feel 'in love' or swoony about him though. He's still just fun. The Christian singer is the one I'm worried about.

I'm a happily married 46 year old woman, with the same guy for 23 years, and I've just had this tendency. I'm a Myers-Briggs INFP, and it's a symptom of my personality type. 

Anyway, out of lurking, so happy for you Audrey with your CO! Carry on.....

It's so good to hear from you again!!!  Thank you so much for commenting on this!! :hugs:

I remember your story and how troubled you were over it.  

I, too, am INFP.  I guess it does go with the territory!! 

Please stop by, even if just to say "hello" more often.  And if you need help with this current situation, we have a great group of people here at the moment to talk to you.  

Thanks so much again!! ???

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I've been doing much better lately. I would be lying if I said that I sometimes wonder if I did the right thing or not in the end.

I just heard that singer David Cassidy is battling dementia. I've had a person close to me deal with that when I was much younger. He was a part of my life & a member of my family who I shared a special bond with.

I'm saying all this to say that though I don't know my CO as I'd would have like to I have to believe that he's going to be okay in life. He has someone to take care of him. It's not my job. I know that but I still worry that what if I get to the end of my life & God sends me to hell because I was supposed to take care of him and be in his life? I screwed up if it was to be.

It's hard because you feel like if I had gone & could have made a life of being in my dream career & having him but what about him?

I can easily blame myself the rest of my life or I can look at him with telling myself that I did the right thing. He has a whole new life & additions to his life. I'm just the girl who got lost in her way but maybe I didn't - maybe I stepped back and gave myself a chance to see how it would be and you know what?

Whether I fall in love or not in my lifetime I am going to be alright. Maybe it took me losing him to see what I'm really made of.

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me. - Philippians 4:13

 

Edited by urivgirl86
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What if my dreams of being in the entertainment industry were not temptation by Satan but what God wanted me to do? What if this man was meant to love me and I love him? I brought this on myself. I did not believe in myself nor believe that God was at the center. 

I was more concerned with what others would think about me. I wouldn't be singing about taking my clothes off or moving vulgar but when you are raised that it's OK to sing about Jesus but not about that fine man you dating ...

 I'm ok. I've accepted that I did what I did. I'm learning. I'm growing. I just feel like I missed out on an opportunity to be a light in a dark world & get to know an incredible man.

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I am thinking about going to see one of my former COs again. I mean, why not? The opportunity is there and all of the other fans will be going like always! The event is still a long ways off, but I can start making travel arrangements soon if I decide that I want to go. This time around, it won't be about me going to see him specifically since I'm not currently infatuated with him. I wasn't infatuated with him the last time I saw him either, but I always enjoy seeing his band play regardless. It's just good to have something to look forward to and since I'm not nuts about him like I used to be, maybe I can actually be (somewhat) patient during the long wait until the event. Probably not though! :) 

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@HopelessRomantic2011 I hope you enjoy it, and I'm sure you will!

I saw Paul McCartney in concert in 2014...I talked about it in this thread before and after (around October 2014.) My crush on him was a very long time ago...I've often mentioned I fell in love with my current CO at age 11, so I was even younger (of course!) when I had a crush on Paul (8 years old...LOL) but he was my first. A girl never forgets her first, and always has a soft spot in her heart for him no matter how intense the current one is, how long ago, or whatever circumstances intervene ?.  Anyway, it was amazing (he's a former Beatle -- how could it not be amazing?? ?) He still looks adorable. ?

I hope you enjoy your event as much as I did seeing Paul. :thumbsup:

Edited by Audrey822
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