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Now I'm home I can write a longer post and gush a bit more.

On Friday morning I was so excited just about going to see the guys perform live and had planned to hang around afterwards to get a selfie and a hug at least. But before we flew, a meet and greet ticket came up at a reduced cost. My husband said he didn't mind if I bought the ticket and he'd just wait around after the show for me. He's a fan of them and the show but didn't want to meet them. I was so nervous from pretty much when I paid for the ticket, my stomach was just doing flips all the time.

At the start of the show I was a bit worried - there were some jokes about my CO's dating life. Whilst it was funny, at the same time I was thinking I couldn't get through the whole show with these constant references, it was too much. But luckily after a bit about his ex, it wasn't mentioned again so I could just enjoy the show.

The rest of the show was fantastic - so, so funny. I laughed so hard at one point I couldn't breathe and at the end, the security guard who'd been in front of us asked if I was OK. Just watching my CO and his friends on stage was amazing.

After the show, my husband went outside to wait for me (he is a saint really, he sat in the cold for over an hour waiting for me while I basically went girly in front of another guy I love) and I sat with the lady I'd bought the ticket from. There were two groups of 20 and I decided to be in the second group hoping that it wouldn't be as rushed because there was no-one to come in after us. Eventually, it was our turn to go in.

I was shaking. So, so nervous, feared I might be sick. When you walk in my CO is standing there, just hugging everyone who walks in so I had no chance to build up to approaching him (probably better), he just hugged me straight away. It felt amazing but also completely unreal. Because he was welcoming everyone, I couldn't stay and talk to him then so I went off to talk to the other three guys. I got hugs from them all and they signed the back of my T-shirt. They were so easy to talk to, I had proper conversations with all three of them. Then I went back to my CO and managed the longest sentence of the night to him - "Can you sign my t-shirt and my programme please?" which of course he did. I felt so tongue tied that I moved away after that because I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't get me an odd look or worse. I was in the group talking to one of the other guys when my CO came over saying, "Anyone want me to sign anything?" but no-one did so he just said, "Then I'm going to hug people again," turned to me and put his arms around me. That one felt like forever.

Then you get to have a photo with all four of them. You can ask them to pose in silly ways or stand next to your favourite. My CO was on the end when it came to my turn, no-one had wanted to stand next to him. Of course I asked if I could stand next to him. He was so happy that someone asked and bounced over, putting both arms around me and giving me another hug before the photo. For the photo itself we have our arms around the other's waist. I'm hoping I don't look too awful on it because that is going to crop out beautifully. After the photo you have to leave so as I walked off I said thank you to him and as he let go of my waist he said, "Thank you, baby." I practically flew out of there. I was buzzing for the next day but completely unable to properly talk about it. I told my husband a few details but obviously I couldn't gush.

Now, I'm sure my experience was probably not that different from others, I'm sure he's called plenty of women baby in those situations but honestly, I didn't care at that point and it was probably the only way I could have walked out of that room without breaking down. This morning, over 48 hours on, I am still so happy to have met him, to have hugged him and to have had those moments with him but, yeah, knowing that I walked away feels pretty awful. Not that any other outcome was possible - even if he'd thrown himself to the ground and begged me to run away with him, I wouldn't have (probably). I couldn't leave my kids.

They confirmed they're coming back to the UK in October, and coming to my city this time, so I am now just waiting until the tickets go on sale to try and get meet and greet again. It's kind of addictive meeting them all because they are just so lovely and, tbh, I've been ridiculously jealous seeing photos from shows over the weekend from other people who have met him. I realise that is crazy and I need to find a way to deal with it because they have 6 more shows in the next week so I'm going to see even more.

So that's my story. I'm not sorry I did it, it was probably better it was so last minute because I had no chance to get really worked up about it. I'd obviously do it again in a heartbeat but if that's it, I will have the memories as long as I have memory and I will have the photos. 

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3 hours ago, perfectcircle77 said:

Now I'm home I can write a longer post and gush a bit more.

On Friday morning I was so excited just about going to see the guys perform live and had planned to hang around afterwards to get a selfie and a hug at least. But before we flew, a meet and greet ticket came up at a reduced cost. My husband said he didn't mind if I bought the ticket and he'd just wait around after the show for me. He's a fan of them and the show but didn't want to meet them. I was so nervous from pretty much when I paid for the ticket, my stomach was just doing flips all the time.

At the start of the show I was a bit worried - there were some jokes about my CO's dating life. Whilst it was funny, at the same time I was thinking I couldn't get through the whole show with these constant references, it was too much. But luckily after a bit about his ex, it wasn't mentioned again so I could just enjoy the show.

The rest of the show was fantastic - so, so funny. I laughed so hard at one point I couldn't breathe and at the end, the security guard who'd been in front of us asked if I was OK. Just watching my CO and his friends on stage was amazing.

After the show, my husband went outside to wait for me (he is a saint really, he sat in the cold for over an hour waiting for me while I basically went girly in front of another guy I love) and I sat with the lady I'd bought the ticket from. There were two groups of 20 and I decided to be in the second group hoping that it wouldn't be as rushed because there was no-one to come in after us. Eventually, it was our turn to go in.

I was shaking. So, so nervous, feared I might be sick. When you walk in my CO is standing there, just hugging everyone who walks in so I had no chance to build up to approaching him (probably better), he just hugged me straight away. It felt amazing but also completely unreal. Because he was welcoming everyone, I couldn't stay and talk to him then so I went off to talk to the other three guys. I got hugs from them all and they signed the back of my T-shirt. They were so easy to talk to, I had proper conversations with all three of them. Then I went back to my CO and managed the longest sentence of the night to him - "Can you sign my t-shirt and my programme please?" which of course he did. I felt so tongue tied that I moved away after that because I couldn't think of anything to say that wouldn't get me an odd look or worse. I was in the group talking to one of the other guys when my CO came over saying, "Anyone want me to sign anything?" but no-one did so he just said, "Then I'm going to hug people again," turned to me and put his arms around me. That one felt like forever.

Then you get to have a photo with all four of them. You can ask them to pose in silly ways or stand next to your favourite. My CO was on the end when it came to my turn, no-one had wanted to stand next to him. Of course I asked if I could stand next to him. He was so happy that someone asked and bounced over, putting both arms around me and giving me another hug before the photo. For the photo itself we have our arms around the other's waist. I'm hoping I don't look too awful on it because that is going to crop out beautifully. After the photo you have to leave so as I walked off I said thank you to him and as he let go of my waist he said, "Thank you, baby." I practically flew out of there. I was buzzing for the next day but completely unable to properly talk about it. I told my husband a few details but obviously I couldn't gush.

Now, I'm sure my experience was probably not that different from others, I'm sure he's called plenty of women baby in those situations but honestly, I didn't care at that point and it was probably the only way I could have walked out of that room without breaking down. This morning, over 48 hours on, I am still so happy to have met him, to have hugged him and to have had those moments with him but, yeah, knowing that I walked away feels pretty awful. Not that any other outcome was possible - even if he'd thrown himself to the ground and begged me to run away with him, I wouldn't have (probably). I couldn't leave my kids.

They confirmed they're coming back to the UK in October, and coming to my city this time, so I am now just waiting until the tickets go on sale to try and get meet and greet again. It's kind of addictive meeting them all because they are just so lovely and, tbh, I've been ridiculously jealous seeing photos from shows over the weekend from other people who have met him. I realise that is crazy and I need to find a way to deal with it because they have 6 more shows in the next week so I'm going to see even more.

So that's my story. I'm not sorry I did it, it was probably better it was so last minute because I had no chance to get really worked up about it. I'd obviously do it again in a heartbeat but if that's it, I will have the memories as long as I have memory and I will have the photos. 

Thanks for giving us more details, it really sounds like everything turned out wonderfully! Your CO sounds like a sweet guy who is great at interacting with new people. I like that he's so willing to give hugs because not everyone will! Sometimes all you get is a handshake.

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Lately I have been thinking (never a good idea, lol!) about whether or not I would change the way my heart works, if I were hypothetically given the choice.

In some ways, it's a blessing to be able to experience such strong romantic feelings for another person, which is something that quite a lot of people probably never do experience. But obviously (as we all know) there are a lot of downsides when the person in question doesn't know you exist... Sometimes I wonder if my life would be much easier if I never felt this way about anyone, and I could just be happy in a mundane, comfortable type of relationship.

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1 hour ago, OpalP25 said:

Lately I have been thinking (never a good idea, lol!) about whether or not I would change the way my heart works, if I were hypothetically given the choice.

In some ways, it's a blessing to be able to experience such strong romantic feelings for another person, which is something that quite a lot of people probably never do experience. But obviously (as we all know) there are a lot of downsides when the person in question doesn't know you exist... Sometimes I wonder if my life would be much easier if I never felt this way about anyone, and I could just be happy in a mundane, comfortable type of relationship.

I don't think I would change it. I recently met up with the guy I had been chatting with who I told about my story. Sorry to say, but we won't be seeing each other again and I could've had a better time at home obsessing over my CO. lol I am currently chatting with another guy who seems like he might be a better fit, but I won't get my hopes up. 

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@OpalP25 I think romance and "comfortable" can go together (throw out "mundane" though.) Not that I've ever been successful in finding this outside of my maladaptive daydreams, but this is what I think it would look like...first, of course, you find someone who you're head over heels in love with.  

I can't guarantee that feeling will last forever.  People say it doesn't...that the "giddy", white-hot feeling we feel at first settles into something deeper, because life happens...you're facing problems together...you're sometimes seeing each other at your worst (and that's OK!!) This is why it's important that you've found someone who respects you, listens to you, someone who's trustworthy, who makes you laugh, who makes you feel good about yourself, who tells you that you're the most beautiful woman he's ever seen (even on your worst days...especially on your worst days) someone who tells you often that he loves you, who never forgets your birthday and your anniversary, someone who wants the best for you...in your career, your personal life, and in the relationship you have with him.  And YOU have to do these same things for him!!  

If you find that person, and you both do those things, I think you'll have romance forever, I think you'll be comfortable in a good way, and I don't think it will ever be mundane. 

 

 

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@HopelessRomantic2011 I'm sorry that didn't work out for you.  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for better luck next time.  I have to say, my discussions with younger men online (not looking to date them, mind you, just discussing sports and politics on other sites) have not been positive experiences.  There's something about the generation of young men between the ages of 25-40 (I would guess) that makes them very cynical about women, and I don't know why.  They aren't ALL like that though.  I know this for a fact.  My sons aren't, and neither are their friends who have been looking for better-quality young women just like you all have been looking for better-quality young men (finally one of my sons found someone, but it's been a long search.) 

Edited by Audrey822
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2 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I'm sorry that didn't work out for you.  I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for better luck next time.  I have to say, my discussions with younger men online (not looking to date them, mind you, just discussing sports and politics on other sites) have not been positive experiences.  There's something about the generation of young men between the ages of 25-40 (I would guess) that makes them very cynical about women, and I don't know why.  They aren't ALL like that though.  I know this for a fact.  My sons aren't, and neither are their friends who have been looking for better-quality young women just like you all have been looking for better-quality young men (finally one of my sons found someone, but it's been a long search.) 

I like what you said in your previous post about romance and relationships. It sounds like a dream to me but I guess some people are fortunate enough to experience that kind of love. 

Thanks, but I don't feel too bad that things didn't work out with this guy. I actually just received a message from another guy who noticed the reference to my CO's band in my profile and the first thing he mentioned to me is that he loves one of their songs. When I responded back, he named a few more songs of theirs that he likes (including one that I don't even know) and said that he was surprised to find someone else who listens to them. It's rare for an American man in his 30s to be a fan of my CO's band (and actually admit it) so he gets brownie points for that! ?

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10 minutes ago, fabulousrockstar said:

Just wanted to pop on to let y'all know it's my birthday today! :Party_fest30: So far 2017 has been good to me. In case you missed it, last week, I had the big Steven revelation that he's not going to be a big part of my life anymore. He's just a muse and nothing more. That's all. :grinning:

Happy Birthday!! I hope you're having a great day! ?

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29 minutes ago, fabulousrockstar said:

Just wanted to pop on to let y'all know it's my birthday today! :Party_fest30: So far 2017 has been good to me. In case you missed it, last week, I had the big Steven revelation that he's not going to be a big part of my life anymore. He's just a muse and nothing more. That's all. :grinning:

Happy Birthday!

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I didn't miss your revelation last week :hugs: I'm glad you're staying strong, and remember we're here for you if you need us!! 

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7 hours ago, fabulousrockstar said:

Just wanted to pop on to let y'all know it's my birthday today! :Party_fest30: So far 2017 has been good to me. In case you missed it, last week, I had the big Steven revelation that he's not going to be a big part of my life anymore. He's just a muse and nothing more. That's all. :grinning:

Happy birthday! :Party_fest30: :birfdayCake:  Hope you've had a good one. And I apologise for being so self involved last week that I did miss your revelation. It's a great moment to reach and I hope you stay strong with it. :hugs: 

 

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On January 11, 2017 at 5:28 PM, OpalP25 said:

Lately I have been thinking (never a good idea, lol!) about whether or not I would change the way my heart works, if I were hypothetically given the choice.

In some ways, it's a blessing to be able to experience such strong romantic feelings for another person, which is something that quite a lot of people probably never do experience. But obviously (as we all know) there are a lot of downsides when the person in question doesn't know you exist... Sometimes I wonder if my life would be much easier if I never felt this way about anyone, and I could just be happy in a mundane, comfortable type of relationship.

It's a difficult question that I don't really know how to answer (I guess that is my answer). I think you are right that your life would be easier, but the hopeless romantic in me says that "easier" does not equal "better". If any of us are ever lucky enough to find someone to reciprocate our feelings, it'll have been worth the suffering to get us there...I'm almost sure of that. 

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Really struggling today - a combination of post-show blues and general non-specific depression. I don't regret last week but the whole walking away thing has been really hard this week and I just have no-one to talk to about that, or anything else. My husband doesn't really understand depression - he thinks I can just snap out of it. I just want to run away from it all. 

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5 hours ago, perfectcircle77 said:

Really struggling today - a combination of post-show blues and general non-specific depression. I don't regret last week but the whole walking away thing has been really hard this week and I just have no-one to talk to about that, or anything else. My husband doesn't really understand depression - he thinks I can just snap out of it. I just want to run away from it all. 

Aw, I'm really sorry you're feeling down today. Go back and read your recap of what happened...how happy your CO was because no one else asked to stand next to him except you...you made him so happy when you did that!! :hearthrob: Go look at that picture again and indulge yourself today. And if you need to just talk, you know where to find us...we're here for you. :hugs:

Edited by Audrey822
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Hey guys.

So Christmas break my CO spent with HER. And there were rumours that they were getting engaged, but he denied it. But, this week they were spotted at a construction site of a new apartment building. It won't be completed for a couple years, but the fact that he was with her makes me think that he's going to move in with her. This time last year, they broke up and during that time there were stories that the new buildings were a business venture for him, more than a new living place.

He and his team will come to my country later this year, and I want to see him, so much. The last time he came, they were trying to hide it. Now they're out in the open, when he's super successful, and BTW just been made captain of the country, I know she's gonna tag along.

For some reason, he really has fallen for this woman. But I can't shake the feeling that this same ambitious and delusional woman who says she wants to be known for her work, who flip-flops discussing him in public, who broke up with him last year and now is more than happy being 'spotted' with him at least once every week is gonna keep her claws on him. 

My CO is an athlete and since she's been in his life, I don't watch his matches as much as I used to. It sounds ridiculous but the possibility of her being in the stands and showing her on TV, keeps me on edge now. My family are wondering why I don't watch as keenly as I used to, but I'm mortified to say I forego seeing him because of her.

I don't think you need a psychiatrist degree to see I have issues. I found out I have swelling in my eyes and that I need to see a neurologist. There's a chance of a tumour and I'm hoping for the worst. Because, I don't see myself ever getting over him, no matter how hard I try. And if the alternative is seeing this guy that I... like with anyone, I know which one I'd be happier with.

I'm probably boring you. Thanks as always for listening to the whinings of a depressed d-bag.

 

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@sv14 I'm so sorry to hear you're having such a tough time at the moment. 

Firstly, I really hope the problem with your eyes isn't too serious. It might seem impossible right now, but there is a happy life out there for you, and you deserve to be able to live it.

About the construction site thing - I don't think it 100% means that your CO's going to move in with her. She might have just been following him to his business venture in order to gain more attention and publicity for herself. Based on your posts, it really does sound like she's very fame-hungry.

And please don't worry that you're boring other posters here. That couldn't be further from the truth - we feel a lot of concern and sympathy for what you're going through. :console:

Edited by OpalP25
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@sv14 Major, mega prayers and best wishes going your way for whatever is the problem with your eyes...I don't want you to hope for the worst any longer.  There is no one who is worth that, no one.  I would not say that about my own CO and I love him to pieces, but I would not throw my own life away for him...anyone who causes you to feel that way is no longer worth your time. Trust me on this.     

I will let @OpalP25 's theory stand as what may be going on with your CO and the construction site...it sounds good to me.   I also agree with what she said about "boring other posters" -- you're not.  The kind of thing you posted, as unfortunate as it is, is the reason this thread exists.  We're here for you, so come back and talk to us if you feel you need/want to.  You're not boring us at all.  :console:

 

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On ‎1‎/‎4‎/‎2017 at 11:53 PM, SeSa said:

A question for everyone - are there songs or artists that have helped you with this CO thing or somehow thrown a light on how you feel? I'd love to hear people's thoughts!

Songs about "unrequited love" have been on my mind lately....I'll post a few over the next couple of days.  I'll warn all of you that you may not be familiar with most of them because they're from the 60s & 70s.

This is "Goin' Out of My Head" by Little Anthony & The Imperials (1964)

Well, I think I'm goin' out of my head
Yes, I think I'm goin' out of my head over you, over you
I want you to want me, I need you so badly
I can't think of anything but you

And I think I'm goin' out of my head
'Cause I can't explain the tears that I shed over you, over you
I see you each morning but you just walk past me
You don't even know that I exist

Goin' out of my head over you
Out of my head over you
Out of my head, day and night
Night and day and night
Wrong or right

I must think of a way into your heart
There's no reason why my being so shy should keep us apart

And I think I'm goin' out of my head
Yes, I think I'm goin' out of my head over you

Goin' out of my head over you
Out of my head over you
Out of my head, day and night
Night and day and night
Wrong or right, night and day and night

 

Edited by Waffles
Removed video IAW DF TOS.
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Hello

I'm a newbie here just now 2017 yehey, and i am glad I found this site and red about the topic. Yes guys lately I'm having this obsession  with a celebrity teen girl turning 19 I guess  so.. I know I know.. but just like others I'm obsess with her every hour very minute i've been checking her interviews, latest news her images on Google her love life. Just this time I realiased and cried that it came to my mind. What have I've doing my life is ruining I have a loving wife and still I'm like this. it hurts when you want to see her but its impossible from other country it hurts as it is its a relationship  between with the both of you. Help me and PM  me.

 

Thankyou

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On January 13, 2017 at 4:31 AM, perfectcircle77 said:

Really struggling today - a combination of post-show blues and general non-specific depression. I don't regret last week but the whole walking away thing has been really hard this week and I just have no-one to talk to about that, or anything else. My husband doesn't really understand depression - he thinks I can just snap out of it. I just want to run away from it all. 

Are you feeling any better today? Your husband might not understand it, but the way you're feeling makes sense to me. It's hard to experience such a rush of adrenaline and positive emotions and then be forced to come down from it so quickly. I'm sorry you're going through this :(  I think it's a natural response for people like us. There are highs and lows, and that "so close, but so far" feeling is one of them. You had such a special moment with him though, and not all fans get to experience that :happy:  And who's to say it can't happen again? 

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@isiahjames Welcome to the thread.  You sound just like all the rest of us here, we understand what you're going through.  We're here to give you all the help and support you need, I think the most important thing for all of us who come here to understand is that you're not alone.  Feel free to stop by and share whatever feelings you need to share with us...we'll support you however we can. 

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39 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

Are you feeling any better today? Your husband might not understand it, but the way you're feeling makes sense to me. It's hard to experience such a rush of adrenaline and positive emotions and then be forced to come down from it so quickly. I'm sorry you're going through this :(  I think it's a natural response for people like us. There are highs and lows, and that "so close, but so far" feeling is one of them. You had such a special moment with him though, and not all fans get to experience that :happy:  And who's to say it can't happen again? 

Thank you @posie_riot I am feeling a little better today. Partly because I had this rather lovely sweet dream about my CO last night which had me waking up smiling. I've also been indulging myself with the pictures I have, as @Audrey822 suggested. As weird as it may sound, I kind of need him to go home now so that I don't feel continually bombarded with photos and the whole social media circus surrounding the tour.  I just feel overwhelmed by it. (I know I could just not go on any social media sites until next week but realistically that is unlikely in the immediate future). I need him to go home and for it to calm down and let me have the fantasy back - it's just felt like real life and the fantasy collided this last 10 days and I lost my safe space. 

I know how lucky I've been, I know that meeting a CO rarely goes this well but 'so close, so far' sums it up perfectly. I am trying not to tinge that whole evening with sadness that I left but there are still moments when that overwhelms me. Time will help, hopefully. 

@sv14 - I can't add much to what   @OpalP25 and Audrey have already said. I really hope you are ok health wise and never think you are boring us, we are very much here for you :console: 

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Welcome to the thread @isiahjames  :smile:  

@sv14  First of all, I'll echo what others have said...you're not boring us, and this is a depression forum, so it would be ludicrous for anyone to be annoyed with the "whinings of a depressed d-bag". Sometimes I feel like we veer too far off from the intended purpose of this thread when there isn't as much "whining". This is a place to come for support. I hope the issue with your eyes is minor and nothing too serious. I'm saying this as someone who has reached rock bottom over my CO's relationship (so I know how hard this is), but please do not allow that silly woman to have so much power over your emotions. You are worth more than that, your life is worth more than that, and today isn't forever. I wish I had more advice (I still struggle a lot myself), but the only advice I can give you is to stay away from his social media and news stories related to him. I know that can seem impossible though. Just know that you're not alone in the way you feel. 

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8 hours ago, perfectcircle77 said:

As weird as it may sound, I kind of need him to go home now so that I don't feel continually bombarded with photos and the whole social media circus surrounding the tour.  I just feel overwhelmed by it.

That's not weird at all, and I can relate. I felt that way to some extent after going to my CO's show in 2013. It is absolutely overwhelming, and I'm sure it's contributing to the post-show blues. It's weird to sort of relive such an intense experience, from a distance, through other people's photos. I can't put my finger on why, but something about what you said really registers with me. The moment is over for you, so it seems like it should be over for everyone. It's hard to process that it's "continuing without you". I don't think I'm articulating it well, but I know what you mean. 

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