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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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I'm several hours late posting this in the thread, but I would like to request that 2016 stop hurting us now.  There are only 6 days to go...could you please stop dammit?  George Michael....really?  He was only 53 years old!! W T F??

 

RIP ?

 

Quote

Linnea Crowther is the author of celebrity obituaries for the site Legacy.com.

In October, Crowther offered her analysis of celebrity deaths.

"As of September 30, the total number of celebrity deaths so far in 2016 is 71," she wrote. "That's more than the total number of celebrity deaths for the full year in any of the other years I looked at for this study. We're already outpacing previous years by 5 to 20 deaths, and we still have three months to go."

http://www.cnn.com/2016/12/22/entertainment/2016-celebrity-deaths/index.html

 

Edited by Audrey822
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I was sorry to hear about George Michael also. Christmas was pretty boring for me. The only cool thing was that my CO's band released a new song last week. I like it, but of course some of the other fans complained that it's not as good as their older music. Which I agree it's not, but I'm willing to give the new album a chance when it comes out. 

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I woke up yesterday from a interesting dream. It scared me but it also has given me clarity. I dreamed I was going to die and had died and my obituary was in the paper but I was still alive. 

I saw him in my dream. We exchanged pleasantries and then he told me thst everything was going to be okay and he was so nice to me. I woke up feeling like I had an out of body type of experience and thought I was going to die and or it meant that he was going to die. I don't think that now but yesterday I felt so unsure of how the day was going to be for myself & him.

I feel as though sometimes I made the wrong decision but I am happy for him nonetheless knowing how his life has played out.

I know I don't know him but I feel as though a normal guy who is near my location though he may be pleasant & spiritual willl pale in comparison to an older musician whose been around the world and lived a different type of life. I feel like this normal guy will bore me to death. I probably sound like a gold digger but that's not what I mean. When I was a little girl & teenager I always thought that some guy around town would hold me back from pursuing my dreams because they'd want to settle down & have a normal life but as I grow older and my family members do I can't see myself leaving the town but there's a part of me that needs to see the world and have experiences before I'm ready to let the boredom of routine life funeral me with a guy whose lived in the same place and not done anything other than get a degree and has a normal job but then he as in that he won't be on the road dancing forever so I guess I'm looking at it all not realistic but still I have this yearning to see what and who else is out there.

 

Edited by urivgirl86
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Thank you @OpalP25 I'm really not a bad person. I just hate the feeling of being trapped and to me that's how I look at how life will be. I don't want to live in a box until I have to go in a box. Does that make sense? I'm not unaware of how hard it is in life regardless of what profession but I just feel at times that having a normal life with a normal job is going to make an old woman of me before my time though I do feel old already.

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@urivgirl86 My feelings are very similar to yours regarding dating "normal guys". I think that's an issue for a lot of us in this thread - we have strong feelings for talented, successful people who have very interesting/different lives compared to most of the world's population. Nice, ordinary people with mundane lives and normal jobs just don't have the same appeal.

Don't worry, I know you're definitely not a gold digger (none of us are). It's not the fame and money that our COs have which attracts us to them; it's more the fact that they're just a h*ll of a lot more interesting and exciting than people we meet in our everyday lives! It sounds like it was Usher's talent as a singer and dancer that initially made you fall for him, and that's very understandable.

Your problem is that you're feeling trapped in the life you're living now, and you're not optimistic about finding love in your location. So my advice is this: go out there and do what you want! Travel around and see places. Look for love in a new location. I don't think staying where you are now will ever make you happy, and I think you know that too. It's not too late for you to find happiness, so go for it!

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@urivgirl86 I've never believed you are a bad person. You and I may want different things out of life, and a 3rd person may want something entirely different from the two of us...that doesn't make any of us bad people. Bad actions make bad people. 

I may (or may not) be the odd one in this thread, and I've said this many times...I don't love my CO just because he's an older man, a musician who's been all over the world. Check my posting history...there is documented proof; I'm on record that I would love him even if he was a mere grocery store clerk, or the order-taker at a fast food drive-up window, or (I love this one) the plumber who would show up to fix the leaky faucet under my kitchen sink (to which I always say, yes please!! ❤) I don't love him for what he's done or where he's been, I love him for who he is. He would be who he is without regard for what profession he chose...he just happened to be a talented musician songwriter, which allowed me to notice him. The only thing I needed was the opportunity to notice him; once that happened, he's owned my heart forever. ❤

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I was under the impression we were supposed to do everything in our power to make this a safe place for us since, like it was said above, the world isn't gonna cater to us. There should be one place we can go that's safe. But anyway, I'm sick of hearing excuses for everything I have an issue with yet everything I say is wrong for some reason. There aren't even supposed to be pictures on the page regardless. Its in the endless list of rules this place has.

As long as people are having pictures on here and have the cruel mindset that a person outside of this would have..that if anyone is affected by the images they should just stay off the internet.. then fine. I will write as many love notes to Mila as I want whenever I feel the need.

I dont care who is offended when I'm feeling hateful. If none of you don't feel the HATE the way I do then you dont feel the love the way I do either. Getting these thoughts somewhere public where the recipient could possibly see it helps me cope. Sue me.

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8 minutes ago, nothingatall7878 said:

I was under the impression we were supposed to do everything in our power to make this a safe place for us since, like it was said above, the world isn't gonna cater to us. There should be one place we can go that's safe. But anyway, I'm sick of hearing excuses for everything I have an issue with yet everything I say is wrong for some reason. There aren't even supposed to be pictures on the page regardless. Its in the endless list of rules this place has.

As long as people are having pictures on here and have the cruel mindset that a person outside of this would have..that if anyone is affected by the images they should just stay off the internet.. then fine. I will write as many love notes to Mila as I want whenever I feel the need.

I dont care who is offended when I'm feeling hateful. If none of you don't feel the HATE the way I do then you dont feel the love the way I do either. Getting these thoughts somewhere public where the recipient could possibly see it helps me cope. Sue me.

You were going to do that regardless.

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@Audrey822 I don't know if maybe I'm the odd one in this thread... I suppose I am a bit different to some others here in that it wasn't my CO's looks that made me fall for him. Of course I find him attractive and always have done, but there are plenty of other attractive men out there. It was only after finding out more about my CO as a person that I started developing true feelings for him.

The main reason why I love him is his personality, without a question. But his talent for his sport, and the things he's done and achieved in his life and career are also big reasons why I admire him so much. The thing is my CO's profession is very much a part of who he is. It's been a huge part of his life since he was a small child, and he's said he never even imagined going into any other job.

I believe that the things we do in our life have a huge effect on who we are as people. So it's hard for me to imagine feeling exactly the same way about an alternative universe version of my CO who has a completely different profession and life, because it wouldn't be the real him - the one I fell in love with.

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whatever your biggest trigger is, what if someone posted it here? Would you ever feel safe coming here again? This is supposed to be a safe place.

I get the feeling that there may be people here who not only believe that Mila is with that horrible person but also think its a good thing and she should be. If you feel this way, please just delete me so I dont have to be burdened knowing you exist. I'm burdened by the knowledge of too many existences to count as it is. I have never felt, amongst people I have bared my soul to, so singled out and being made to feel like my feelings are wrong. She's supposed to be with me damn it. I will believe what I choose! Go ahead, picture your CO with another person having marriage, touching, making love, being in a delivery room having a baby together..put those mental images in your head and tell me you dont want to fight someone. I will never believe these things. They are too painful. So if you think the rumor is a good rumor that should be true, just leave me alone!

All I was doing was looking out for a potential newcomer who may come here looking for help but instead may find their greatest horror come to life in one of these pictures and asking people who are suffering from the same thing to be a little more considerate.

There is no rule here against writing to my person sometimes. I dont criticize whatever it is you people do to feel better. That is..whenever there actually IS something to do to feel better which for me, there typically is not. If people can post pictures here which could potentially traumatize someone for an unknown reason then the last thing I should be seeing is complaints about my love notes! When Mila finally sees them and knows what's in my heart, you'll wish all of you wrote love notes too. She WILL see them if she hasn't already!

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@OpalP25 I don't think that's odd at all....  The thing is, my CO has had other jobs...even since his brush with fame, he's had other jobs.  But the music business keeps calling him back.  There's a reason for that.  He belongs in it, and I think that's what makes him happiest.  

As all of you know, I don't have the same access to social media where my CO is concerned, and there isn't as much written about him as there is for some of your COs...but I'm taking that as a good thing these days.  Of course that means I don't know as much about him as most of you know about your COs, so I've had to fill in a lot of blanks on my own...but I can honestly say there's nothing I know for certain that I don't love. :icon12: And there are all of those little coincidences that still make me believe the universe has marked us as soul mates who may never meet, but that doesn't matter.  I'm still saying, all I would have needed was an opportunity to notice him.  No matter what he would have been doing, all he would have had to do is get my attention...whether it was as a singer or as a businessman.  I would have fallen in love with him because I was meant to do so. 

 

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@nothingatall7878 what if someone is triggered by the mention of Mila Kunis? Or the mention of the person who is the target of your hateful posts?  What if he's the CO of someone who wants to post here?  Have you ever considered that a possibility?  How do your posts make this a safe place for that person? 

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11 minutes ago, nothingatall7878 said:

whatever your biggest trigger is, what if someone posted it here? Would you ever feel safe coming here again? This is supposed to be a safe place.

I get the feeling that there may be people here who not only believe that Mila is with that horrible person but also think its a good thing and she should be. If you feel this way, please just delete me so I dont have to be burdened knowing you exist. I'm burdened by the knowledge of too many existences to count as it is. I have never felt, amongst people I have bared my soul to, so singled out and being made to feel like my feelings are wrong. She's supposed to be with me damn it. I will believe what I choose! Go ahead, picture your CO with another person having marriage, touching, making love, being in a delivery room having a baby together..put those mental images in your head and tell me you dont want to fight someone. I will never believe these things. They are too painful. So if you think the rumor is a good rumor that should be true, just leave me alone!

All I was doing was looking out for a potential newcomer who may come here looking for help but instead may find their greatest horror come to life in one of these pictures and asking people who are suffering from the same thing to be a little more considerate.

There is no rule here against writing to my person sometimes. I dont criticize whatever it is you people do to feel better. That is..whenever there actually IS something to do to feel better which for me, there typically is not. If people can post pictures here which could potentially traumatize someone for an unknown reason then the last thing I should be seeing is complaints about my love notes! When Mila finally sees them and knows what's in my heart, you'll wish all of you wrote love notes too. She WILL see them if she hasn't already!

This is why I blocked you. 

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4 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

This is why I blocked you. 

But no....I don't want to fight anyone.  It's not my nature to fight anyone because I'm not a violent person.  I just put things I don't like on ignore, like things and people who trigger me.  I just ignore them. 

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I dont understand, what do you mean that's why you blocked me? If you're still referring to the one time I triggered you by accident, I thought we were past that. I would never intentionally trigger anyone as I hate everyones triggers as if they were my own.

What Audrey put in bold that I said is my #1 most painful, unbearable, unable to deal with trigger. To think these things are really happening and to think they are good things may as well spit in my face. If I allow myself to believe that is happening, which I DONT, my heart will crumble to dust. If anybody tries to make me believe its true when its not, I will go on a reporting frenzy.

I'm starting to think that the only people here that can relate to me are the ones that ache for more..the ones of which fantasy is NOT good enough. Its not good enough for me and it never will be. I NEED the real thing. I refuse to believe I couldn't go get it if I wanted. I need that hope to keep my heart beating.

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Hallo there,

at the end of this year I come back to you to tell you how things are going for me now. I don´t know if you still remember my story or if this is the first time ever that you read a post from me.
I came here to tell you that I think I am finally healed. It was a tough and extremely hard journey, but I am confident that I am over that guy!
I had help from a few other people, not “real life” people though, but people on the internet. The last months have been an emotional rollercoaster for me and only then I realized how much he was ruling my whole life and all my emotions. I analysed myself and the reasons why I was clinging on to him or lets say…the image I had of him so much. The reason was me…and my unhappiness with my own life. I wanted him to save me. I thought he was the only one who could.
I don´t know enough about you and your feelings to judge that, but maybe my feelings for this man have been different from yours for your COs. A fantasy or an alternate reality in my head has never been enough for me! It wasn´t what I wanted. I wanted more! I wanted HIM! I really seriously believed that I could be with him and that I should be…that I am the only one who deserves that and that it was just meant to be. I still think we could be together but I know that it´s only a very theoretical thought. And I still don´t fully understand what has happened to me that I got into this emotional situation at all. But I am on a very good way. Today I can look at myself and my feelings with an emotional distance and every day I understand it better.
Now I know that there is only one person who can save me…and that person is me! I have to love myself and take care of myself. I made a lot of new experiences this year, I travelled a lot and I made new amazing friends. At first I tried to cut him off my life completely. But that is just not possible; too many friends and experiences are deeply connected with him and I don´t want to lose all this. I am very proud that I can still enjoy and love the fandom without hard feelings and sadness about this special person.
As you probably already noticed I don´t call him my CO and I do this for a reason. I never cared much for his celebrity status, I always saw him as my perfect dream man. But he really isn´t the person I always wanted to see in him. And thank god I am not the only one who found out about that. I spent a short time ranting and dragging him on social media, because everyone did and my poor wasted heart needed this. But it did me no good after all. So I just stopped it and unfollowed a lot of people. This hate is like poison and I can´t surround myself with all this negativity all the time. I tried to unlove him, but I can´t. I tried to fight and overcome the pain, but I had no chance. In the end I realized that I just have to endure it. And that´s what I did. He made it kind of easy for me, because he seems to be done with everything and is just lazy….everything annoys him, especially his fans and he´s just a sheer puppet of the company he works for and a lot of other people. But my change of heart does not only come from his public behaviour, all his terrible choices and his incredibly laziness in his job….it´s also something very personal. As you maybe know, I have met him last year in summer and he has made me so incredibly happy with it. It was the perfect timing…I had a horrible time with a tragic family loss; and he was just there when nobody else was. I will forever be grateful and remember this day as one of the happiest of my life. Sharing this experience had bound me together with two of my dearest friends and I am so glad to have them in my life. But he…!? I found out that he hated it. Of course…I know…meeting a fan isn´t that exciting for a celebrity as it is the other way round. I can imagine that it can be quite annoying for them sometimes. But I have found out that he has acted like a diva and made such a drama after we had left. I was so mad about this, that I wanted to shout it out into the world and write it all over the internet what a hypocrite, arrogant a*** he is. But in the end I didn´t. I am just so tired of all the drama and who would listen to me….a rejected fangirl, a nobody? And I don´t have to… he´s on a good way to dig his own grave. In a few years nobody will talk about him anymore, but still people will remember him and will call him this one name of that one character he once played…just like Carrie Fisher never had a real chance to be known for anything else than Princess Leia. Hearing about her made me think about him as well. A life full of drugs and alcohol is what I see for him too, he´s already doing this. I am so glad that I never got any closer to him than just a regular fan and I never got involved in this crazy business any further. I would never want to live a life like this. I struggled hard with the “what did I do wrong” thoughts… and the “what if this and that has happened” theories. But now I know that everything was right exactly the way it has happened. He is not my dream man, never was and never will be!

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12 minutes ago, nothingatall7878 said:

I dont understand, what do you mean that's why you blocked me? If you're still referring to the one time I triggered you by accident, I thought we were past that. I would never intentionally trigger anyone as I hate everyones triggers as if they were my own.

What Audrey put in bold that I said is my #1 most painful, unbearable, unable to deal with trigger. To think these things are really happening and to think they are good things may as well spit in my face. If I allow myself to believe that is happening, which I DONT, my heart will crumble to dust. If anybody tries to make me believe its true when its not, I will go on a reporting frenzy.

I'm starting to think that the only people here that can relate to me are the ones that ache for more..the ones of which fantasy is NOT good enough. Its not good enough for me and it never will be. I NEED the real thing. I refuse to believe I couldn't go get it if I wanted. I need that hope to keep my heart beating.

I'm not getting into this here but you know it wasn't an accident. I could prove it wasn't an accident.  We can be "past" it, but I'm not  unblocking you to give you an opportunity to do it again because there's obviously a huge issue with your memory.  

What I put in bold were your own words. ?Go on a reporting frenzy of your own words.  I'm sure the mods will get a kick out of that. 

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You think I triggered you on purpose? Wow that kinda sickens me. I would never do that but that must explain why even though we are talking again, you still don't treat me the same. Its whatever. I regret trusting you with all my issues like I did just so you can turn on me and take the other side. You're one of many.

 

My bigges

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I used to think you were the most deserving of your dream coming true. Well now its ME. ME ME ME. Me and the people I now PM with cuz they truly GET it.

I was just letting people know what my biggest trigger is but maybe I shouldn't have revealed that information as it could be used to hurt me.

I'm not a violent person either. Not even remotely. I wouldn't want to hurt anyone else this way..only that person. And I would NOT back down.

Mila is my person, I loved her first, I love her the most, and I can't be whole without her attention. I must believe that one day I will have it. Otherwise life is just waiting to die.

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