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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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@posie_riot I am so happy to hear that you didn't need surgery!! :emoticon-0141-whew:  I hope that you never do.  

Do you think that if you met your CO, you would be content forever?  Or do you think that at some point, the reality part would kick in and he would be just like anyone else? You mIght like him or you might not? Have you had multiple COs in your life or just one? I've had CO after CO after CO. I don't have those intense feelings anymore for the past ones. I do feel that if my real life and my fantasy life would start to merge, at some point I would be focusing on a new CO.  I didn't feel this way when I was younger, but now that I am older and understand why I need a CO in my life, I feel that what I really need is something that doesn't exist  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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@Audrey822Do you know if your CO has a hobby?  Maybe you could get something related to that hobby.  As to the question of signing your name or not, how badly do you want her to know this gift is from you?  Or would you be happy just knowing you gave her something?  I think that's what it comes down to.

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Yes, I finally thought of something that I could get her. While thinking about your comment about signing my name, I realized that I did want her to know it is from me. Then I started fantasizing that she wrote me a thank you letter. Then I wrote her back and we become "pen pals" until she finally said, "you're 3 blocks away.  Come over for a drink" I'll leave the rest to your imagination ?

What are the chances? 

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4 minutes ago, Vera said:

@Audrey822Do you know if your CO has a hobby?  Maybe you could get something related to that hobby.  As to the question of signing your name or not, how badly do you want her to know this gift is from you?  Or would you be happy just knowing you gave her something?  I think that's what it comes down to.

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Yes, I finally thought of something that I could get her. While thinking about your comment about signing my name, I realized that I did want her to know it is from me. Then I started fantasizing that she wrote me a thank you letter. Then I wrote her back and we become "pen pals" until she finally said, "you're 3 blocks away.  Come over for a drink" I'll leave the rest to your imagination ?

What are the chances? 

cheer.gifwoot.gifhappyfeet.gifclap.gif

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24 minutes ago, Vera said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I'm happy to hear that. Hope you had fun at the store. Christmas shopping or food shopping or CO gift shopping??

Grocery shopping! I'm not supposed to be lifting much, so I only got a few small things. But I'm glad I'm able to drive and walk without pain now. :)

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Well, I just wanted to add my two cents to what everyone is saying.

1. I did have a positive experience with Steven over 6 years ago. We actually video chatted about him being an inspiration for me and my mom's kidney drama. Plus, I got to see Constantine perform live during the American Idol tour in 2005, third row! That was the best concert experience of my life.

2. I think if I met Steven or Constantine face to face, I would be satisfied. Meeting Steven face to face is still one of my bucket list items, despite everything.

3. I've had multiple COs. I've explained them in a past post of mine.

4. I'm not looking for a relationship with my COs. I'm more on the realistic side. I just want to meet them face to face, take pictures with them and have memories to last a lifetime. If a friendship develops, I'll be OK with that too.

With that said, I had a counseling session yesterday and we discussed the Steven thing...again. I keep telling her it's destroyed my life because he gave me something to live for, something to strive towards. Ever since he dumped me over a year ago, I've completely lost the will to live. I feel like I have nothing left in me, no reason to live. I know, I know, overdramatic much? Perhaps. But I can't help it. He was my ticket to a fabulous life. I wanted to know how he got through each day with such a positive, kiss me a** mindset. It still hurts and I feel like a lost cause.

So I told counselor I wrote the letter apologizing to Steven, but haven't sent it yet. I think I got a sign a few days ago that it wasn't meant to be sent. I was gonna send it through his website, but it went down within the last few days. I'm taking that as a sign. Anyway, she said either send it or not, that way I'll have my answer. I don't think I can send it anymore, but he deserves an apology...but I fear that he'll hate me even more. Then again, he could respond in a positive way, which I'm hoping for. I don't think I can take it if he rejects me again. I just couldn't. But I can't stand not knowing if he hates me or not. I don't know which would be worse.

I can't, in good conscience, send the letter, to be honest. The best I can hope for now, (and I know there's a snowball's chance in Phoenix of this happening) is that he stumbles upon this site and reads my posts. Though I doubt his reaction will be understanding, he needs to know that I'm sorry for my behavior in the past, and that I do respect him as a person.

I know I'm rambling now, but I can't help how I feel. I don't think I can move on with my life unless I know for sure. This sucks.

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I think I could make an impression on Mila if I had the chance. My problem would be more wanting to knock the teeth out of everyone else around. And the fear of having the knowledge of how many people there would be. So if you think about it, these "fans" are the ones that make it hard for us to stand out and drown us in numbers..not to mention what wed have to worry about being mistaken for. "Fans" are the enemy!

 

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43 minutes ago, nothingatall7878 said:

I'm not trying to be rude but this is what I mean about the pictures. What if somebodys obsession here is Paul McCartney? Well anyway, happy holidays.

Maybe that person should stay off the Internet then if they can't bear to see anything about Paul McCartney. The world is not going to cater to you or me or anyone else. Happy Holidays! ?

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3 hours ago, nothingatall7878 said:

I'm not trying to be rude but this is what I mean about the pictures. What if somebodys obsession here is Paul McCartney? Well anyway, happy holidays.

What if someone is triggered by talk of hate and violence? See how that works? Paul was a crush of mine before my current CO, FYI...Merry Christmas!! ?

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On December 21, 2016 at 8:22 PM, Vera said:

@posie_riot I am so happy to hear that you didn't need surgery!! :emoticon-0141-whew:  I hope that you never do.  

Do you think that if you met your CO, you would be content forever?  Or do you think that at some point, the reality part would kick in and he would be just like anyone else? You mIght like him or you might not? Have you had multiple COs in your life or just one? I've had CO after CO after CO. I don't have those intense feelings anymore for the past ones. I do feel that if my real life and my fantasy life would start to merge, at some point I would be focusing on a new CO.  I didn't feel this way when I was younger, but now that I am older and understand why I need a CO in my life, I feel that what I really need is something that doesn't exist  

Do you think that if you met your CO, you would be content forever?

No, not in my case. I don't even want to meet him. I would only want to meet him if there were a way for me to somehow know, with certainty, that it would result in a relationship. I know I would never say the "right thing" to him, and that would bother me forever. I don't want to reevaluate my every move after the fact. I wouldn't mind meeting him in a natural setting (I.e...perhaps in a professional environment, rather than a rushed meet and greet), but that would require that I lead a completely different life. There is no way I'm ever going to meet him in a natural setting with my life the way it is now. Not unless he's standing outside the Tim Hortons drive-thru or strolling through Walmart at 10pm on a Tuesday. 

Do you think that at some point, the reality part would kick in and he would be just like anyone else?

Not with my current CO, who is unlike any other CO I've ever had. I don't even want to call him a "CO" anymore. I don't want to group him in the same category as other celebrity obsessions of mine. He doesn't belong there. Usually when someone doesn't meet your expectations it's because you've moved past the infatuation stage and have found out that the person isn't as "incredible" as you thought they were. I can't see this happening with my CO. I've already moved past the infatuation stage with him. It's worth mentioning that I'm more emotionally attracted to him than I am physically attracted. I've already experienced what it's like to be disappointed by him...several times. I have no illusions about him being the "perfect man". My connection to him is a soul-connection. I know that makes me sound wacky, but I don't care. I've had other obsessions with celebrities in the past, but none of them even come close to what I feel for my current "CO". 

I feel that what I really need is something that doesn't exist

You bring up an interesting point here. I do feel that all my COs (including my current one) have helped to fill a void inside me. I don't believe that a person like me can ever truly be made happy by external acquisitions. I know that true, lasting happiness comes from within and that without inner peace...we're all screwed. In the case of my current CO, I'm not expecting him to solve my problems or bring me true happiness. There's no hero-worship going on with me. There might have been some of that going on in the beginning, but not now. I genuinely care about him and think highly of him as a human being. I believe that my life would be better with him in it, but I know he's not the antidote to regular human misery. I would still continue to act in obsessive-compulsive ways, whether he were in my life or not. It's in my nature. Something has to fill the void. My obsessions aren't always with people though. If my CO and I were to get together, I don't think I would become obsessed with any more people. It's hard to say for sure though. 

So yes, I actually agree with you...what I really need is something that doesn't exist. But I'm not expecting my CO to fulfill that need. My obsession with him evolved over the years into something more meaningful - a kind of legitimate love. I've never had that happen with anyone other than him. 

You're very wise to recognize why you have COs in your life and the purpose they serve. We don't talk enough about that here, which is interesting, considering this is a mental health forum. I'm like a textbook case for "person most likely to fall in love continuously with unattainable people" (history of OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder dating back to childhood, depression, general anxiety, introvert...and I'm sure there's more). 

Edited by posie_riot
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I don't even want to meet him. I would only want to meet him if there were a way for me to somehow know, with certainty, that it would result in a relationship.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!!! Anything less would be unacceptable. The thing is, my CO very well could be strolling through a Walmart at 10 pm on a Tuesday, and no one would bat an eye. If he ever is, and if I get that meeting and it turns out well, I'll certainly come back just to report it. ?❤ 

Do you think that at some point, the reality part would kick in and he would be just like anyone else?

My CO is pretty much like everyone else. The only thing that separates him from everyone else was my own idealization of him. I say "was" because I've been trying to train myself to get over that. @posie_riot , you rightfully acknowledge the placement of this thread on a mental health message board, and it's here for a reason. This is not a mere "crush" for me that any reality would "cure." I'm going to agree with a statement you made, @posie_riot, but I'm going to change one significant word...I'm emotionally attached to my CO (you said "emotionally attracted.") I'm still very physically attracted to him too ❤...but it's so much more than that by now. Ironically, I know very little about him, yet I feel as if I know so much. He's lived in my heart for all but 11 years of my life. How can I not know him?

Even when I think of him as a man with those little irritating habits that so many men have (sorry, guys!) I still love him in spite of that. The only thing/person who could destroy my love for him is my CO himself, and he'd have to work very hard at doing so, because I'm willing to tolerate an awful lot for him. ❤ 

 

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I have to add this to what I said above, and @posie_riot can vouch for this...as I said, I don't know much about my CO, but there are some odd coincidences about things I do know about him. Some things he and I have in common that are almost bizarre. One involves a certain date, another is that our writing style is almost exactly alike, and yet another involves a collection he has of something that I also began collecting for a completely different reason. Considering how little I really know about this man, these commonalities between us are almost freaky. 

Edited by Audrey822
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The only thing/person who could destroy my love for him is my CO himself, and he'd have to work very hard at doing so, because I'm willing to tolerate an awful lot for him. ❤

I love that, @Audrey822. Isn't that the truth. Think of what we've already tolerated up to this point. 

I think it's very accurate to say that I'm emotionally attached too. He's more than a bad habit that I just can't break. He's a person, after all. Everything gets so complicated when you involve human beings. I should've taken up skiing or something (...this is a joke :laugh:).

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1 minute ago, posie_riot said:

The only thing/person who could destroy my love for him is my CO himself, and he'd have to work very hard at doing so, because I'm willing to tolerate an awful lot for him. ❤

I love that, @Audrey822. Isn't that the truth. Think of what we've already tolerated up to this point. 

I think it's very accurate to say that I'm emotionally attached too. He's more than a bad habit that I just can't break. He's a person, after all. Everything gets so complicated when you involve human beings. I should've taken up skiing or something (...this is a joke :laugh:).

And it's a very good joke...I'm having a good laugh right now!! :roll2:

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