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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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My main CO has dropped out of the public eye it seems. No new pictures of him, no new movies even though tons are promised. He does not have social media. I am panicking that I will never see anything about him or never be able to find out how he is doing. He is married now and has a small son so I understand he may just be a great father and is focusing on his baby. It sort of feels like being abandoned by your spouse even though he does not even know I exist, I don't exist to people I see every day so why should he? My daydreams used to be an escape for me, but now it is almost another stress. I can't even figure out how to start the book I am planning on writing, I keep scrapping it and starting over. I almost wish I could animate the story that is in my head and make it into a video/series to tell the story.

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@ColdFire No, no, no....you do exist.  Don't do that to yourself!! I've had that feeling at times myself.  You know what you have to do?  You have to make them see you.  Yep.  Don't let them get away with ignoring you and pretending you don't exist.  Why?  Because you're worth it, that's why.  Tell them Audrey822 said so.  

It sort of feels like being abandoned by your spouse even though he does not even know I exist

You're not alone there. I've experienced that myself.  I felt betrayed when I learned about my CO's marriages from long ago.  It was weird to feel like that...my rational mind knew it didn't make sense to feel that way, but there has never been anything rational with regard to the way I feel about that man. :icon12: We're here for you.  (((hugs))) 

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4 hours ago, ColdFire said:

My main CO has dropped out of the public eye it seems. No new pictures of him, no new movies even though tons are promised. He does not have social media. I am panicking that I will never see anything about him or never be able to find out how he is doing. He is married now and has a small son so I understand he may just be a great father and is focusing on his baby. It sort of feels like being abandoned by your spouse even though he does not even know I exist, I don't exist to people I see every day so why should he? My daydreams used to be an escape for me, but now it is almost another stress. I can't even figure out how to start the book I am planning on writing, I keep scrapping it and starting over. I almost wish I could animate the story that is in my head and make it into a video/series to tell the story.

I can relate to everything I bolded. I've mentioned this before, but my CO purposely took a break from the spotlight for several months and this included no longer posting on social media. I totally felt abandoned. It doesn't matter how irrational the feeling is - that won't stop anyone from feeling it. Even though I knew that my level of attachment to him was unusual, I was actually still angry at him over the decision. He was favouring his personal life over his professional life and this meant that the fans suffered. Most people wouldn't think anything of something like that. Most people would say he had every right to "leave us" if he wanted to (of course he had every right), but considering I'm obsessed, I saw it all differently. To me it was like he was saying: "Sorry girl, you're not important!" As if I didn't already know! As if I don't already agonize over that as it is. 

Good luck with your book, and don't be so hard on yourself over it. Stop scrapping it...I'm sure it's great! :happy:

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but my CO purposely took a break from the spotlight for several months and this included no longer posting on social media. 

@posie_riot and @ColdFire I have the two of you beat by thousands of miles. ? My CO was gone from the spotlight for many decades. It's still not accurate to say he's "in the spotlight." It's only true to say the Internet made it possible for me to find him. Between 1972 and now, only two pieces of information got to me at all that weren't on the Internet. Both were about his band coming to my city for a concert, and I didn't even know he wasn't touring with them for one of those concerts until the band came out on stage.  To my knowledge, my CO doesn't have a Twitter or Instagram account, and only "friends" can see what he posts on Facebook. I'm completely abandoned, and have been forever. But you know, I don't mind because not knowing everything is what I (as a fan of the late 60s) am used to. 

When I began searching for him on the Internet, that's when everything fell apart. I would Google too much, trying to learn more and more about him (mission accomplished ?) and I'd never fail to get hurt. As small as his presence is on the Internet compared to most celebrities discussed here, I still have to work hard to fight my own OCD to isolate myself from him.

Edited by Audrey822
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Thanks @Audrey822 and @posie_riot

I feel a lot better knowing others understand. When my main CO got married to the Aussie equivalent of Kim Kardashian I was devastated. I actually think it might benefit me to not see him so much. I guess it helps me to see him the way I remember and I won't have to go through the ups and downs when he goes through them.

I keep trying to translate my daydreams into written form and its not going well, I won't give up though.

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12 hours ago, ColdFire said:

Thanks @Audrey822 and @posie_riot

I feel a lot better knowing others understand. When my main CO got married to the Aussie equivalent of Kim Kardashian I was devastated. I actually think it might benefit me to not see him so much. I guess it helps me to see him the way I remember and I won't have to go through the ups and downs when he goes through them.

I keep trying to translate my daydreams into written form and its not going well, I won't give up though.

I can't say that I've made significant progress with my new story either. The ideas keep coming but I haven't spent a lot of time writing them down. I'm currently reading another story that someone wrote about my CO (I've read about five so far), and this one is really good. I'm on the edge of my seat reading it instead of working on my own! lol At least he brings out the creativity in others. :)

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Today has not been a great one. I just need to vent it here, if that's OK. I've had my CO on my mind all day, way more than usual, just completely unable to concentrate on anything. Normally I can have a normal day with him just in the background, there but not constantly intruding. But not today.

Then we, as a family, watched his show tonight, there was a new episode last night so we always watch it on Tuesday evening. There was a complete throwaway line in it, a line that for anyone else would have just made it funnier but to me just stabbed me in the heart - hearing him announce he had a date that night. It was a throwaway line, meant to stop them being horrible to him. It was probably filmed a year ago, who knows if he's still seeing her or anyone for that matter. He's still not publicly dating anyone, there's still that 'I'm not married' trying to be cute answer when asked if he's single. I hate it. I hate that a man I don't know can reduce me to near tears (they will no doubt come later when I am actually alone). I hate not being able to talk to anyone. I feel so utterly alone and utterly trapped in the wrong life. 

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 I hate not being able to talk to anyone. I feel so utterly alone and utterly trapped in the wrong life. 

@perfectcircle77 You're not alone, and you have us to talk to... :hugs:I'm so sorry that happened.  Of course that blindsided you when it may have gone over everyone else's head. Everyone in this thread understands that, so you're not alone!! It does feel weird to be reduced to tears over someone who doesn't know you, or to feel betrayed by someone who doesn't know you, etc.  It really sucks to feel the way we do....so helpless; triggers are out there everywhere like land mines, and you never know where they are or when you're going to encounter one.  I guess all we can do is reach out to each other for support and be there when someone here needs us.  

Edited by Audrey822
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@perfectcircle77 I know how you feel, and I would've reacted the same way. It's awful when such seemingly innocent comments can affect us so deeply. I'm seriously sorry that happened :(

 I feel so utterly alone and utterly trapped in the wrong life. 

Me too. You're certainly not alone in feeling that way. You know you can talk to us :hugs:

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@posie_riot and @Audrey822 thank you. I feel no better today but it does really help knowing I have this place and knowing that however alone I might feel, I am not really because I have everyone here. I can feel my anxiety rising (world events not helping at all), and I have spent a lot of today retreating into that safe space which isn't necessarily the best thing right now but it's where my mind goes anyway.

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Well its official. An arrogant celebrity gets to run the country and did no work in politics to get there. Just played the magic money and fame card. If the air stinks a little more than usual today, its because we now live in celebrity America. Makes me sick. And of course, we have the celebrities giving their two cents all day like any of it effects their silver spoon fed *****. And reminding us that their opinions are worth public exposure but ours are not. To the list of celebrities who claim they leave the country if the election went this way, GO! If I was worthy to be around your royal highnesses, id help you pack your bags. But those types of interactions aren't for ordinary folks like me!

 

In case anyone cares, I could not feel smaller and more insignificant today. I never have felt more like mila wouldn't look twice in my direction and it hurts so bad. Anyone who has gotten to be near MY person, to talk to her, touch her, god knows what else..you are the deepest sources of my hate and I hope nothing but the worst for all of you today. My inability to destroy certain people makes me angrier than anything. Then I feel small again and the cycle repeats. You want to tell the world that MY person is your wife? I'll never believe it and i deeply wish i could sock you in the face. I hate you so much. She's MINE.

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Hi everyone :)

I don't really know why I've become so paranoid recently. About a week ago, a fan on Twitter started speculating about there being a thing between my CO and a female celebrity. The other fans were entirely unconvinced by this idea, and pretty much laughed it off. The thing is, there really is no evidence at all to suggest my CO is involved with this woman, or anyone else for that matter. I know that the fan was just having a bit of fun... Trouble is I have difficulty finding that sort of thing amusing.

I think I am just in a bit of a low mood at the moment. My CO has finished playing for the year (and his last match was a disappointing end to a disappointing season). I am sad and frustrated that he's had too many injuries this year to be able to benefit from the dire state his sport is in at the moment (and unsurprisingly lots of players I dislike have benefited from it, lol). And of course I am sad and frustrated at the general state of world affairs at the moment...

Can someone just wake me up when it's 2017? :roll2:

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Hi Mila. The cover of your new movie (and my constant exposure to it) just makes me melt. You are too cute for human eyes. I know one day we will have our romance under the stars and all this waiting will finally feel worth it. I cant wait to touch you and hear you talk to me and say my name. Its my greatest wish baby. I want to make the earth shake for you. Please find me.

 

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@OpalP25 Can someone just wake me up when it's 2017? 

Be careful what you wish for.  I just got through commenting on @posie_riot 's blog that I said a similar thing about 2016 as we approached the end of 2015, thinking last year was just about the worst year ever....and then 2016 didn't take long to prove me wrong.  (It hasn't been all bad for me lately...the Cubs won the World Series, and the Cowboys are still in first place, but I gotta agree with you on the world affairs. Please don't blame all Americans: #NeverTrump.  Things are getting a bit shaky on the CO-front, too. Nothing concrete, just my own paranoia working overtime here.)

It's understandable how you felt after reading that on Twitter, but remember: people can say anything on the Internet and social media is poison!!  My advice is to do your best to put it behind you and ignore it.  We're here for you whenever/if ever it starts to get to you.  :hugs:

 

 

Edited by Audrey822
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I know that from a distance, I am a fool to presume anything. But, what isn't hard to see is that my  CO is always the one who is tactile and shows PDA more than she does. That for me is enough; just seeing him hold her hand is soul destroying. I never want to see anything more than that. 

But she's not following him on Instagram. I know that doesn't sound like big deal, but he follows her and is constantly liking her mind-numbing asinine posts. He'll mention her dog causes on his social media, but there's nothing from her, ever. 

For a while now, this has really been making me question my CO's intelligence. She's beyond hideous due to lots of plastic surgery and she's a Biotch. I'm not a violent person, but I feel like punching her obnoxious face and quite honestly, giving him a slap for his stupidity. 

It's so sickening to hear people bark they're made for each other. They met while making a shampoo ad together. She never followed his sport and she pre-judged as arrogant. Now she doesn't endorse even that ****** brand anymore. She took the money, she took the guy and went for another company. Nasty ungrateful cow.

He is so adamant on proving that she has nothing to do with his performance, but he fails everytime she's watching him play. Some people say she should stay away yet others say because she's famous, it makes her an easy target to lay the blame with her. Well, unless he decides to lower himself to us mere civilians, this will happen. I'm not saying it's her fault, but he is too good to be dragged into her seedy, superficial film industry and she and it are poison to his career.

I may chastised for this, but here goes. There's a song by One Direction called 'Loved You First' and this is essentially my letter to to my CO.

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@sv14 I'm suggesting this only because I hit total rock bottom with my CO over his relationship, so don't think I don't understand how passionate you are about your CO or how difficult this would be. It's probably in your best interests right now to limit the amount of searching and social media viewing you do of your CO. You will save yourself a lot of anger and day-to-day heartache. Perhaps instead of following your CO on Instagram, you can just visit his page...that way you won't see what he's 'liking'. Try not to read tabloid stories filled with paparazzi pics...it's all vile, pointless garbage. Definitely avoid looking at her social media (it appears you wouldn't be missing much). Feel free to disregard this advice if it seems impossible or too obvious. I wouldn't have responded well to this kind of advice a year ago, but I'm at a point now where I'm no longer looking at anything related to my CO online or otherwise. This decision was made following a major breakdown that occurred after I found out he was expecting a baby and is engaged to a woman who I don't feel he belongs with. After that news hit me like a ton of bricks, it no longer seemed possible for me to expose myself to any information about the two of them ever. 

It's so sickening to hear people bark they're made for each other.

People say all kinds of lovey-dovey crap that they don't sincerely mean and haven't really thought through. The people saying that either 1) don't know them as a couple and therefore couldn't possibly judge whether or not that's true or 2)  do know them as a couple and wouldn't dare say anything negative on a public platform. You never know what people are really thinking. It's easy to overanalyze comments like that. If you're seeing this kind of thing from other fans of your CO...definitely ignore it. It's all part of the mindless adulation they feel for him and wanting to believe he's perfect and has a perfect life. You sound like you're more realistic about him - even questioning his intelligence. You see him differently than others. You actually care about him, as opposed to an over-idealized image of him that most fans develop. You'll drive yourself crazy if you pay attention to what other people think and say. They're not thinking as hard about all this as you are. Trust your own gut, and realize that this will pass. I'm pretty confident that nothing will come out this relationship he's in. Relationships fail all the time, even when those who aren't in the relationship least expect it. That's just how life goes. 

I'm going to go listen to that One Direction song :happy:

 

Edited by posie_riot
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@sv14 I agree with @posie_riot...social media is poison (I should include that in my sig line...seriously.) I'm so sorry for what you're going through. :console:

I need to hear that One Direction song. It may not literally be true that I "loved him first" but it sure feels like I did ❤️....and any woman getting in the way of that feels like a betrayal to me. 

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1 hour ago, Audrey822 said:

It may not literally be true that I "loved him first" but it sure feels like I did ❤️....and any woman getting in the way of that feels like a betrayal to me. 

Hold on....I did love him before Charred Poster Girl. ? I had to come back and correct myself on this very important point. 

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Thank you so much @Audrey822:hugs:

Yes, I suppose I do need to be careful what I wish for. 2017 could well end up being worse than this year, as unlikely as it seems. For one thing, I will know for sure in January whether there really is something going on between my CO and this female celebrity. I'm 90% sure there isn't, but...paranoia. I actually quite like this woman as a person, but I just can't imagine her and my CO making a good couple. Yeah, I know, I'd probably say that about him and anyone who's not me, lol! But they really do seem to be two very different people.

You're right that social media is poison. I wish it wasn't the main place to get information about my CO, but I guess it's the main place for info about pretty much everything these days... The group of my CO's fans on Twitter are quite nice people in general, even though they don't seem to have a filter! I suppose other more famous celebrities would have much more angry and aggressive fans, so I'm lucky in a sense.

Don't worry, I definitely don't blame all Americans for Trump's victory, especially as more people voted for Hillary than they did for him. It's ridiculous really that this could happen in a so-called democracy. :(

@sv14 I don't normally listen to One Direction (I tend to go for cheesy 00s boybands like Blue and 5ive, lol!), but I enjoyed the song you mentioned, and understand why it's so relateable for you... From what you say, it sounds like your CO's girlfriend is just with him for the fame, and doesn't truly have feelings for him. It must be awful to see her stringing him along like that, when you know you care for him so much more than she ever could. :console:

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Loved You First

Girl, it should be me
Driving to your house
Knocking on your door
Kissing you on the mouth
Holding on your hand
Dancing in the dark
'Cause I was the only one who loved you from the start

But now when I see you with him it
Tears my world apart

Because,
I've been waiting
All this time to finally say it
But now I see your heart's been taken
And nothing could be worse
Baby, I loved you first.
Had my chances
Could've been where he is standing
That's what hurts the most,
Girl, I came so close
But now you'll never know
Baby, I loved you first (I loved you first, loved you first)

Girl, it should be me
Calling on your phone
Saying you're the one, and that I'll never let you go
I never understood, what love was really like,
But I felt it for the first time looking in your eyes
But now when I see you with him
My whole world falls apart

Because,
I've been waiting
All this time to finally say it
But now I see your heart's been taken
And nothing could be worse
Baby, I loved you first.
Had my chances
Could've been where he is standing
That's what hurts the most
Girl, I came so close
But now you'll never know
Baby, I loved you first

The first touch
The first kiss
First girl to make me feel like this
Heartbreak
It's ki11ing me
I loved you first, why can't you see?

I've been waiting all this time to finally say it
But now I see your heart's been taken
And nothing could be worse
Baby, I loved you first.

Had my chances
Could've been where he is standing
That's what hurts the most
Girl, I came so close
But now you'll never know
Baby, I loved you first

Baby, I loved you first
Baby, I loved you first
Oh, yeah
Baby, I loved you first

 

Read more: One Direction - Loved You First Lyrics | MetroLyrics

I have to say...some of those lines tug at my heartstrings.  Tugging hard. :broken_heart:

Edited by Audrey822
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6 hours ago, OpalP25 said:

Thank you so much @Audrey822:hugs:

Yes, I suppose I do need to be careful what I wish for. 2017 could well end up being worse than this year, as unlikely as it seems. For one thing, I will know for sure in January whether there really is something going on between my CO and this female celebrity. I'm 90% sure there isn't, but...paranoia. I actually quite like this woman as a person, but I just can't imagine her and my CO making a good couple. Yeah, I know, I'd probably say that about him and anyone who's not me, lol! But they really do seem to be two very different people.

You're right that social media is poison. I wish it wasn't the main place to get information about my CO, but I guess it's the main place for info about pretty much everything these days... The group of my CO's fans on Twitter are quite nice people in general, even though they don't seem to have a filter! I suppose other more famous celebrities would have much more angry and aggressive fans, so I'm lucky in a sense.

Don't worry, I definitely don't blame all Americans for Trump's victory, especially as more people voted for Hillary than they did for him. It's ridiculous really that this could happen in a so-called democracy. :(

 

If we had a true democracy, Hillary would have won....she won the popular vote.  But we have what's called a "democratic republic" -- whichever candidates wins overall in 48 of the 50 states gets all of that state's electoral votes, and the electoral votes are split proportionately between the candidates in the other 2 states.  This is to prevent large cities like Los Angeles and New York City from having too much influence in the elections.  Usually, it works....and we'll survive this.  Haters gonna hate, but those of us who don't hate will continue to love one another.  As far as that's concerned, nothing will really change but the occupant in the White House in January.  

I wish social media would disappear and that we could all understand that we don't need to know all this stuff we have with the push of a few keystrokes today.  I wish I could allow all of you a peek into my CO world from almost 50 years ago, so you could see how much happier it was when I was gleefully ignorant and didn't expect to know anymore than I did at any moment in time.  (Sure, I would have loved to know everything...but I didn't expect to, and it's a good thing I didn't/couldn't.  Right??)  I wish I'd never taken to the Internet with that man's name.  

Edited by Audrey822
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Hi gang,

Well, I've come to accept my friend's death, there's nothing else I can do.  I do have memories, so there's that.

As for Reina, that horrid picture I mentioned seems to be disappearing.  I know where it is, so I avoid it.  The other thing with this obsession I have for Reina it doesn't let up at all. I still feel the same about her.  When I see her, I get an instant buzz. I have this one picture of her, it's from a screen capture from an ad she made. I found it about 4 months ago. This  picture I find spectacular. I've looked at everyday since then and I still feel all high from the love drug, like the first time I saw it. The picture never gets old or boring. I love it to death. 

Now i've found a treasure trove of videos from the latest show she's in  I know i'll be looking for more screen captures. There's 7 episodes to sift through. I don't know if it's sad or a good thing, but I feel a need and a desire to do this.  I look for new pics everyday.  I like doing it, so at this time it's not a problem. Reina can consume my life. 

The one thing that's different now then before. When I look at Reina I feel like she's my wife. I'm so familiar with her face that I feel like I know her. I see her everyday and I still can't get enough.  A picture I've seen a million times looks fresh and exciting.   

I love Reina and I hope I can enjoy her presence in my life, for years to come. 

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