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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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2 hours ago, dazedandconfused1 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 Sorry to hear your trip isn't going as well as planned... Our CO's manage to mess with our minds no matter what, don't they? I have a feeling that it's just being around your former CO that's causing your "block." When I have setbacks with former CO's, it tends to put my current CO on hold at the time. I'm sure things will be better when you get home tomorrow. :thumbsup:

Thank you! I really don't feel that my former CO was causing the block- I know who my main guy is and I'm not conflicted at all! :) It was jjust all the craziness of the events which stressed me out. It's funny because a lot of the same fans show up all the time and I'm like "Ugh, they're back again? Don't they have lives?!" But I guess they might be thinking the same thing about me too. lol

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Hello everybody,

I posted here a while ago about my obsession for a dancer, who isn't really a celebrity (but could as well be in my view), and hope it's okay to post an update. I didn't read through everything that went on here in the meantime, but of course I hope everyone is coping well with their respective COs.

What happened to me while I couldn't see my "CO" due to the summer break of the theatre he dances at, is that I actually managed to turn my obsessive feelings into something good. Nobody is more surprised than me but I somehow lost close to two dress sizes with a change of nutrition and daily exercise (yes, I need to be distracted A LOT). I started a language course (okay, it MIGHT be his native language I'm learning, but still...) and structured my days in a way that I don't have any time to dwell on my fantasy.

That didn't stop me from visiting the theatre for their first performance this season on Sunday and almost suffering from heart failure, when I saw him on stage... but still. Maybe sometimes something good CAN come out of all this craziness.

I have season tickets for the theatre and - honestly - I don't see myself not going at least twice a month. I guess you could call it work in progress, because at least I manage to focus on other things but him. Occasionally.

Thanks for listening/reading and have a great day.

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@posie_riot I think you've probably found the best possible way of trying to deal with your CO's situation. Maybe psychologists would say finding acceptance is the healthiest thing to do, but I'm not so sure about that. Keeping that glimmer of hope alive certainly seems like the less painful option.

The Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise marriage was a little bit weird (that time when he jumped on the couch on Oprah, lol!) Yet more evidence that the kind of relationships we hope to have with our COs are so rare. Still, I want to believe a relationship between an obsessed person and their CO could work. There's been so many people on this thread throughout the years - there's got to be a success story eventually!

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27 minutes ago, OpalP25 said:

@posie_riot I think you've probably found the best possible way of trying to deal with your CO's situation. Maybe psychologists would say finding acceptance is the healthiest thing to do, but I'm not so sure about that. Keeping that glimmer of hope alive certainly seems like the less painful option.

 

Mental health professionals say that because it's what the textbooks tell them to say.  My own personal hell with "acceptance" has been documented in this thread beginning at the end of April and giving up on it mid-June.  I can't blame my therapist....she was doing what she was taught to do, not having personal experience with our unique situation here.  The grief we feel when we're experiencing loss is not like the same grief people feel when they've had an actual relationship with someone, whether it's the loss of a significant other, a parent, (God forbid) a child, a friend -- in all of those situations you have memories with that person.  Those fond memories  help you to get to that place of acceptance...I know this; I've experienced that kind of loss.  For us, when we experience grief over our CO's we have nothing to anchor us; we have nothing to hold onto and help us to get to that place of acceptance.  We never had anything.  What are we supposed to accept, really?  It's insane and a little insulting to ask us to accept things, as if we were delusional in the first place.  Mental health professional don't seem to understand that it's possible to love someone you've never met (I'm here to tell them, oh yes you can!! :icon12:) And when something challenges that love, there's nothing to reassure you as there is in a real relationship:  memories, a mutual friend to comfort you, etc.  You're all alone (except for everyone here) and except for everyone here, the whole world thinks you're nuts.  That's soooo helpful (sarcasm.)  It would be nice if mental health professional did a bit more research on this issue going forward in my opinion. 

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1 hour ago, OpalP25 said:

@posie_riot I think you've probably found the best possible way of trying to deal with your CO's situation. Maybe psychologists would say finding acceptance is the healthiest thing to do, but I'm not so sure about that. Keeping that glimmer of hope alive certainly seems like the less painful option.

The Katie Holmes and Tom Cruise marriage was a little bit weird (that time when he jumped on the couch on Oprah, lol!) Yet more evidence that the kind of relationships we hope to have with our COs are so rare. Still, I want to believe a relationship between an obsessed person and their CO could work. There's been so many people on this thread throughout the years - there's got to be a success story eventually!

My whole identity right now is wrapped up in this obsession. I know that's bad, but losing my CO would mean losing a lot. My mind just won't let me do it. "Acceptance", the way psychologists speak of it, would mean some sort of letting go. I can't let go. The only thing I can do right now is completely ignore him and hope that over time, I'll be able to look at him again without being in complete agony. 

I wouldn't mind my CO jumping up and down on Oprah's couch over me :cheesy:

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Someone who posted yesterday said something I tried to quote but couldn't get it to work. Something along the lines of..."there's so many people on this board, there's got to be a success story." It may not be today, tomorrow, this month or this year or even next year but, I WILL be the success story. Mila and I are connected, I know it. And we will have our day. I refuse to get bogged down by success likelihood ratios. Every single person on this board deserves a success story. So make it happen. If the opportunity befalls me, I won't let it pass by cuz I know it was a moment that was meant to happen.

 

Hi, Mila. I was craving to look at you so bad this morning and your new movie cover found its way to my news feed. I'd like to think that you could feel me out there and you sent the pic to me as a gift. Thank you so much. I didn't think I could handle it but I can always count on you for an extra push. Obsessing over all your features from afar isn't the greatest of scenarios but I know you won't keep me on the outside looking in forever! It was great to talk to you today. You are so perfect.

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@Julialovesdancing Nice to hear from you again, and I'm glad you've been able to use your obsession for productive purposes. One of the benefits, I think, to having a bit of an obsessive personality is that when we put our mind to something, there's no stopping us :thumbs-up:  Maybe you could say a few words to him in his native language someday :laugh: I bet he'd be impressed! 

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Maybe if I had  worked hard & got lucky enough , I could have been making as much as Taylor Swift makes in a year. 

I am thirty years old and tired of living. I don't see the point of life but it's not about me. Jesus came to serve not to be served. I don't understand why people fall in love anymore.

You don't know however long you have on the earth as it is so why go though all of it plus have sex which sounds so odd to begin with but I don't even know anymore.

I know that I am okay on my own. I don't need a man to take care of me. I'm not a little girl. I know relationships by the wonderful examples but still it just seems pointless in light of the rapture & eternity.

 

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14 minutes ago, urivgirl86 said:

Maybe if I had  worked hard & got lucky enough , I could have been making as much as Taylor Swift makes in a year. 

I am thirty years old and tired of living. I don't see the point of life but it's not about me. Jesus came to serve not to be served. I don't understand why people fall in love anymore.

You don't know however long you have on the earth as it is so why go though all of it plus have sex which sounds so odd to begin with but I don't even know anymore.

I know that I am okay on my own. I don't need a man to take care of me. I'm not a little girl. I know relationships by the wonderful examples but still it just seems pointless in light of the rapture & eternity.

 

@urivgirl86, people continue to go on and have sex and everything else they do because there's no way to know when the world will end, so they go on living their lives to the fullest with the gifts God gave them as He would want them to do....there have been people convinced that Jesus was coming back almost as soon as He left.  If everyone had stopped having sex all the way back then, none of us would be here now.  I don't know if you think that's good or bad....I happen to think it's bad, and I think Jesus would too.  But if that's how you choose to live your life, that's your choice!!  

It's true, you don't need a man to take care of you.  You don't need anyone to take care of you; you're an adult.  But I think it's a bit arrogant to suggest relationships are pointless in the here and now and use the rapture as the reason...only God knows when that will occur, and to stop living will end things before He's ready. 

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Hi everyone. 

I'm finding it hard to make it through the day and I can't sleep in the night. 

My CO and SHE hadn't made a public appearance for a few weeks and there were stories of tension between them. And they stepped out together surprise, surprise, two days after her new film was released.

By the way, she and her co-star have been ALL over each other during promotions. 

I know it's a cliche, but she's using my CO for publicity, I'm sure of it. I can't sit and wish for him to wake up to this anymore. His birthday is coming up and I know he's going to be with her and it really hurts. It's draining and I'm just lost.

Thanks for reading this if you're still here.

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@sv14 Oh man, I'm sorry :(  It's one of the worst feelings in the world to see someone you're in love with in a relationship with someone else. I'm in the same boat. And like you, I'm not impressed with my CO's current relationship. In my case he's engaged and having a child with this woman :dontgetit:  I can't even look at him anymore because of it. I'm heartbroken. 

On the bright side, celebrity relationships like the one you described are always on shaky ground. This non-relationship will expire. They're probably just putting on a front for the cameras, especially since she has a film coming out. I know it's still hard though. 

:console:

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@Julialovesdancing - It's so nice to hear from you and to hear how well you're doing and how you're putting your thoughts to good use.

@sv14 have a big :hugs:I can't offer any advice because I know I'd be the same as you in that situation, but we are all here to listen to you whenever you want.

@Audrey822 - how are things now? 

I do not feel good today. My CO is doing a live TV show tonight that involves dangerous stunts and the rational part of me is all, "Oh but I'm sure they'll be fine because the network wouldn't be out to seriously injure them" but I am just nervous as anything for him and I can't even watch the show because it's in the US and I'm not and it'll be the middle of the night here and getting up to watch it live online would raise the suspicions of even my laid-back husband. Some days I wish I could just like this guy, appreciate his programme, and that be the end of it instead of sitting here, stomach in knots, wishing I was living a completely different life.

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7 hours ago, perfectcircle77 said:

@Audrey822 - how are things now? 

I do not feel good today. My CO is doing a live TV show tonight that involves dangerous stunts and the rational part of me is all, "Oh but I'm sure they'll be fine because the network wouldn't be out to seriously injure them" but I am just nervous as anything for him and I can't even watch the show because it's in the US and I'm not and it'll be the middle of the night here and getting up to watch it live online would raise the suspicions of even my laid-back husband. Some days I wish I could just like this guy, appreciate his programme, and that be the end of it instead of sitting here, stomach in knots, wishing I was living a completely different life.

Things have settled down.  Aside from dropping little passive-aggressive things into conversations at appropriate times ("I'm not going to look that up for you...you've proven yourself to be well-skilled at looking things up on your own.") I've dropped it and gone on with my life....as usual.  I'm not going to stop listening to my CO's music, and if he decides  he has more tricks up his sleeve, I'll cross that bridge when I come to it.  One thing I'm learning about myself here....I'm getting stronger.  Stronger than I gave myself credit for being.  And I also know I have all of you for support; that means a lot.  I don't think he can hurt me too badly.  I'd advise him not to try.  He probably has no idea how important my CO is to me, and he shouldn't try to find out the hard way. 

Good luck to your CO tonight!  I'll be keeping fingers crossed for him....hope everything goes well (I know it will!!)  

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Hahaha you'd think I ran over someone's dog the way everyone ignores me here. I'm the black sheep of the discussion board oh no! Well unless your name is mila kunis, I could care less who pays attention to me. Guess I cant even find comfort in people going through the same thing. Whatever. I won't let it bog me down cuz I'm having a great day dreaming about MY person who is MINE. Regardless of how much I am ignored here, though, I still wish everyone the best outcome from this as possible..

I saw a girl on tv last night that was too hot for words from head to toe..i mean, SMOKIN. It took me about a minute after the show was over to forget about that person. I really need to stop trying to find other people who I'm not attached to to find distractions. Its never going to happen. Mila is my angel and even compared to a girl like I saw last night, she could never come close to Mila. I wanna watch the new movie so bad but I'm scared.

Hi Mila. I know I've sent you alot of messages here this week but god I wanna talk to you so bad. I wish the world understood how badly I need to speak with you. Please come to me in a dream soon. Give me a sign that you know I exist. I feel so weak against your charms right now that just seeing you do a cute hair flip or hearing your voice or seeing your mannerisms would make my heart pound out of my chest. Just to look at you anymore, I need a drink. Anyway, I just wanna talk to you and tell you what's in my heart if you don't know already. Well that is all.

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I don't know if I believe in love. I don't believe in why people go through life & marriage if we're all a breath away from eternity.

If I'm supposed to love God with all my heart, mind, body, soul, spirit and love my neighbor as myself why would I involve myself?

A man can't make me happy nor do I want him to. I don't understand why people feel like that because someone is single that they're a failure - we're not promised the next breath as it is so why bother with something that will not last once you pass away? I can't see myself as being happy being a wife & mother being content in the same town as long as I live 

I am really struggling at the moment. I feel like in a way because God made me a female that I'm doing Him a disservice by not having gotten married or had kids.

I like men and children and perhaps I may have both but at least I'm prepared to face life on my own because you don't know if that will happen.

I'm not upset or angry I just feel as though I've let down in someway but we're in a other generation but at the same time I cling to my faith regardless because in eternity all that matters is what you did with what you were given in life.

Edited by urivgirl86
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6 hours ago, urivgirl86 said:

I don't know if I believe in love. I don't believe in why people go through life & marriage if we're all a breath away from eternity.

If I'm supposed to love God with all my heart, mind, body, soul, spirit and love my neighbor as myself why would I involve myself?

A man can't make me happy nor do I want him to. I don't understand why people feel like that because someone is single that they're a failure - we're not promised the next breath as it is so why bother with something that will not last once you pass away? I can't see myself as being happy being a wife & mother being content in the same town as long as I live 

I am really struggling at the moment. I feel like in a way because God made me a female that I'm doing Him a disservice by not having gotten married or had kids.

I like men and children and perhaps I may have both but at least I'm prepared to face life on my own because you don't know if that will happen.

I'm not upset or angry I just feel as though I've let down in someway but we're in a other generation but at the same time I cling to my faith regardless because in eternity all that matters is what you did with what you were given in life.

I'm not religious so I don't often think about what God's purpose is for me in life. I have no idea what it is and I am not even sure that God exists. I think people just need to have something to believe in, and that's fine if that's what helps them get through hard times. It's not much different than having a CO, really. I don't say any of this to be blasphemous because I grew up with religion. I hope that God exists, but there's just no way to really know. When you look at all the suffering that some people go through...especially innocent people, it's hard to believe that a God would allow that and I can't see a purpose for that.

Regarding why people get married and have kids- my grandmother lived to be 99. Life may be short, but it isn't always *that* short. You have to fill your time with something while you're here.

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I just feel like I don't know how much time I have left and at times feel like I've missed out on my purpose in life by not pursuing but then I don't know.

I say I like men I know I loved Usher from the moment I saw him but what then? I chose  to not pursue so my life is over?

I don't know what to believe of myself anymore. I can't ever see myself with anyone at all.

I don't know what to anymore..

What will become of my life? How much time do I have? Is it about time to die & go home yet? Only God knows that

 

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1 hour ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

I'm not religious so I don't often think about what God's purpose is for me in life. I have no idea what it is and I am not even sure that God exists. I think people just need to have something to believe in, and that's fine if that's what helps them get through hard times. It's not much different than having a CO, really. I don't say any of this to be blasphemous because I grew up with religion. I hope that God exists, but there's just no way to really know. When you look at all the suffering that some people go through...especially innocent people, it's hard to believe that a God would allow that and I can't see a purpose for that.

Regarding why people get married and have kids- my grandmother lived to be 99. Life may be short, but it isn't always *that* short. You have to fill your time with something while you're here.

There is a way to know. Death. When we die. A man is appointed once to die then comes judgement. (Hebrews 9:27)

Edited by urivgirl86
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I just want to say that I'm super happy to be back home! I've already printed out my new pictures with my former CO and I have to say that I think these are the best yet! Which is a good thing since they might be the last photos that I ever take with him. :( Maybe I shouldn't try to meet him again because I'll only have good memories of him and he's never disappointed me. Of course now I've started thinking about what my photos will look like if I'm lucky enough to meet my current CO. That would be awesome! :) That's actually the only situation that I fantasize about that involves him interacting with the real me. For all the other stuff, he only ever interacts with the alter ego version of myself.

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@urivgirl86 I agree with what HopelessRomantic has told you. Who knows why we're here on this earth, but the important thing is that we are here and we have to make the most of the time we have. Just because you didn't pursue Usher all those years ago, that doesn't mean there's nothing left for you in this life. I'm sure you'll find something that can bring you happiness and fulfillment, whether that's a romantic relationship or something else.

@HopelessRomantic2011 It must be great to be back home with your kitty! Glad you got some nice pictures with your former CO! :)

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14 hours ago, urivgirl86 said:

There is a way to know. Death. When we die. A man is appointed once to die then comes judgement. (Hebrews 9:27)

@urivgirl86 I hope you don't take this in a hurtful way, but I'd like to suggest something different to you.  

You've been in this thread for a little more than a year, and you've gone back and forth so many times.  One day you're OK with decisions you've made and in the next 5 minutes you're not.  This is not a criticism of that because many of us have other issues here besides being obsessed with a celebrity, but you've completely and continuously ignored everything everyone has ever said to try to help you.  I've suggested many times that you should try to talk to a therapist, or talk to someone in your church or religious community but it goes completely ignored.  You told me you don't need a therapist, but I strongly disagree.   

I understand you're confused about what you think you should have done with your life and what you should do going forward.  It's not as if you haven't gotten answers from some of us trying to help you, but I think it's reached the end of the road.  You can't keep ranting in this thread about whether there's any use to relationships, marriage and/or sex because.....rapture.   That's not the purpose of this thread.  I know you're deeply religious....I'm not criticizing that either, but there's a place for that too and  it isn't here.  

May I suggest you take the religious discussion here....

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/forum/17-the-depression-and-religion-forum/

Please??

Thank you. 

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Hi, Mila. Please dont use the way people ignore me on here as an idea of what I'm like to be around. Me and you would have tons of fun together. I wish you would give me a sign that you're reading. Then I could give you a sign back that id like to talk to you somewhere else other than here. I am very poorly treated here and now I may as well not even exist. Whatever. I am more likeable than I'm made out to be here, I promise! I cant help the way I react when the media tries to tell me lies about you. I know its all part of the job. I understand and I love you anyway. Even though its a lie, it hurts to hear things. I know you'll make a day for me, baby. And I cant wait! If it wasn't so close to the weekend id wish for another gift of your face but the weekend isn't your time to be in my mind and I'm sorry for that. You'll be in my thoughts, Mila...DUH!

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