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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

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Friendly reminder that this thread is located in the OCD subsection of a site called depressionforums.org. Many of the members here have underlying issues with anxiety and depression that led to their celebrity obsessions. Ideally, this is supposed to be a safe support group for us to communicate with others who are going through similar struggles. There are plenty of people here seeking outside psychiatric help. Most of us are aware that our obsessions are problematic and that is exactly what brought us here. 

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46 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

Friendly reminder that this thread is located in the OCD subsection of a site called depressionforums.org. Many of the members here have underlying issues with anxiety and depression that led to their celebrity obsessions. Ideally, this is supposed to be a safe support group for us to communicate with others who are going through similar struggles. There are plenty of people here seeking outside psychiatric help. Most of us are aware that our obsessions are problematic and that is exactly what brought us here. 

Unfortunately, I can only "like" this once, so I'll have to settle for giving your post 5 stars!

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

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Let's say someone decided to post in a support group for people with cancer.  She comes in and brags to the group about being healthy, and then congratulates herself for having the foresight to quit smoking years ago.  Wouldn't you say that's not just rude, but also quite insensitive?

If you were overweight, wouldn't it hurt you if someone came into your Weight Watchers meeting with a tirade of fat-shaming?

If you think the above examples are ill-mannered, consider that people with mental health issues have no more control over what we do and/or feel than the cancer patient or the overweight person.  Those of us with celebrity obsessions are no exception, and for many of us, the celebrity obsession is just a symptom of a larger, underlying mental health issue. That can include abuse (physical and/or emotional), neglect, PTSD, etc. Some of us ARE already under the care of a psych doc and/or a therapist, so to the suggestion that we should seek help?  We're ahead of you. 
 
We thank you for your concern (if you truly were/are concerned.)  I can't help but shake the feeling that we're being trolled, however. 

 

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I want to add this, to speak to anyone who may be lurking -- who may be thinking of joining this board and this thread because you're hurting with a celebrity obsession, but the last couple of posts from yesterday have you holding back.  

Don't let that hold you back.

We're a very supportive group of people here, and we will have your back.  Those people don't speak for us, and if that behavior continues -- well, it won't continue.  The mods won't allow it to continue.  We are not going to be harassed here in our safe place, and that's what this is:  a safe place where you -- and we -- can come to discuss what's on your mind.  We support each other here, we don't tear each other down, and we don't tolerate anyone ridiculing anyone either.  No one understands how sensitive this subject is more than me.   But I'm not going to allow the events of the last 24 hours to stop me from posting either.  We've sent trolls packing before, and we'll do it again if necessary.  

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2 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

Let's say someone decided to post in a support group for people with cancer.  She comes in and brags to the group about being healthy, and then congratulates herself for having the foresight to quit smoking years ago.  Wouldn't you say that's not just rude, but also quite insensitive?

 

*** Not only that, it's also ignorant.  My mother died of small cell and never smoked a day in her life.  Hmmm.  I wonder what that person who won't be dying of cancer will then die of . . . It's funny because you mentioned being overweight and those were my thoughts exactly when I read this earlier:  it's like someone telling me--I have a weight problem--I ought to drop a few pounds by exercising.  Yeah, I guess I do have a problem alright. **** Just here in support.  I'll let you guys be now.  :hugs:

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1 hour ago, gs22 said:

*** Not only that, it's also ignorant.  My mother died of small cell and never smoked a day in her life.  Hmmm.  I wonder what that person who won't be dying of cancer will then die of . . . It's funny because you mentioned being overweight and those were my thoughts exactly when I read this earlier:  it's like someone telling me--I have a weight problem--I ought to drop a few pounds by exercising.  Yeah, I guess I do have a problem alright. **** Just here in support.  I'll let you guys be now:hugs:

You're welcome here anytime. :hugs:Thanks for adding your voice of support. 

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Thank you for your well thought-out posts, @Audrey822. I think most of us feel the same way you do. It's not that I feel attacked or anything (maybe I should), I'm just wondering why someone would come to a thread specifically for this topic just to berate us as a group. That doesn't seem like particularly healthy behavior to me, but hey... I'm not a psychiatrist and I assume that this person isn't, either. I have more to say, but I'll be the bigger person and keep it to myself... Except for this: Why would you come to what was a safe place for people to discuss this issue and get help from peers and not only try to insult and mock us, but to actually discourage people from coming here for help by making it seem like a hostile environment? Sorry, but that sounds like a typical troll to me. :thumbsup:

Edited by dazedandconfused1

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Now that we've gotten all this out of the way, it's time to get back to doing what we do here: discussing the ups and downs of having a CO in our (fantasy) lives. How's everyone doing with that this weekend? 

I'll go first: still in love, happy. ❤️

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Ive gotten into a pretty comfortable place with the CO stuff for right now. My fiance and I watched the first episode of the new season of his show without incident, so that took a lot of pressure off for the time being. I was a little worried that it would start a whole chain reaction of new things to obsess over (that's happened to me more than once with previous CO's... It only takes one scene. Lol), but I guess I'm safe for now. I've had a lot of distractions this past week or so, so I'm hoping it won't all hit me like a ton of bricks later.

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@Audrey822 My weekend has been really good - I came home from university and had a lovely time with my family. There hasn't been much news about my CO over the last week or so, but that doesn't bother me like it used to. Even as soon as 6 months ago, I'd get frustrated when that obsessive compulsive urge to see what he was up to went unfulfilled. But that's not so much of an issue anymore. It's strange... I think the last few months have seen a definite change in this obsession. It's like I'm seeing everything from a clearer and calmer perspective now.

@dazedandconfused1 I'm glad to hear that watching your CO's show went smoothly, and that you're in a good place with your obsession. Really hope that continues!

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Hi all.

Not doing so good CO wise. I'm coming up on the one year anniversary of being unceremoniously dumped by Steven. Still hurts. I just want things to be back on good terms with us. I would personally and honestly like to know if he hates me or not. I think that's the only way I can get through this.

So what did I do after being dumped last year? I went on the ultimate Christmas music bender. I downloaded almost all the digital radio apps, listened to all the Christmas music and went on the quest to download it all. Will I do it again this year? I want to, but it doesn't feel right yet. Maybe it's too early. I don't know. I know that I don't have all the time on my hands that I had last year, with my physical therapy, my counseling and my doctors' appointments. I wish I could just throw myself into the hunt like I did before.

Otherwise, I'm still surviving. Had a nasty fall almost 2 weeks ago. Landed on my chest and banged up my finger pretty badly. Thankfully, it's not broken. Been seeing my new second counselor every week, and she's getting me on the road to liking myself a little bit. TTYL

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7 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

Now that we've gotten all this out of the way, it's time to get back to doing what we do here: discussing the ups and downs of having a CO in our (fantasy) lives. How's everyone doing with that this weekend? 

I'll go first: still in love, happy. ❤️

Well, my fantasy life is going great! I've been having fun with the new story that I'm writing thanks to my current CO being such a great muse. I also read one this weekend that someone else wrote about him that was really good and creative. I'll probably never actually finish mine since it needs to be long enough to cover a 10 year time period and I probably don't have the attention span for that, but at least it's giving me something to do. It's keeping me occupied enough that I'm not even counting down the days to seeing my former CO in concert like I normally would be. He's the one who I used to obsess over and write about (and when I say "used to", I mean like a few months ago) and I haven't really thought about him much at all lately. Of course I'm still a huge fan. I mean, I'm flying to another city to see him so obviously I'm dedicated, but my thoughts are completely on someone else and I wish I was going to see that person instead. Maybe one day it'll happen... But it will be a fun time regardless and I'm looking forward to it! :)

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@dazedandconfused1 and @HopelessRomantic2011 Good to hear things are going well for both of you!

@OpalP25 Seeing everything from a clearer and calmer perspective is good.  I think I'd describe myself that way, too. 

@fabulousrockstar anniversaries are rough.  (((hugs))) Sorry to hear you banged up your finger, but glad to hear you're making good progress with your new counselor! 

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I went through a rough patch this past week. My CO restarted his online show, which came as a huge shock to me. I wasn't expecting that at all. I thought that show was over for good. I had to unsubscribe from his YouTube channel. There's no way I can watch him. I also had to clear my whole YouTube watch history and internet search history to stop the new episode from showing up in my "Recommended for You" videos at 3 o'clock in the morning. Apparently 3am is as good of a time as ever to recommend triggering videos to me while I, an insomniac, am trying to wind down and get some sleep. I also installed Adblock Plus to avoid the numerous baby diaper advertisements that constantly show up on every site I visit. I don't want to see anything baby-related. I figured out that I'm probably seeing these ads all the time because I'm subscribed to a few family vloggers on YouTube. I hate Google algorithms. Hate them. 

Other than that I'm doing okay. Still (obviously) avoiding my CO. I recovered from the whole YouTube drama faster than I thought I would. It's upsetting to me that I'm still this sensitive to merely seeing his face, but things could be worse. 

Edited by posie_riot

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Up and down Audrey, thanks for asking. I had a breakdown a week ago at 4am in the morning. Just cried and cried and banged my head against a wall until I managed to write a massive expletive laden rant to my counselor through my online therapy IM service. Often writing stuff down makes me feel better. This time it didn't and the only thing that did make me feel better was looking at my CO. This lead to a conclusion: Trying to get her out of my head is the wrong idea. I need her.

Basically having a CO isn't my main problem. My problem is my inability to concentrate on any activity fueled by the feeling that everything is pointless which is in turn fueled by very low self esteem. It seems that no activity is easy enough for me to not find it a struggle and I panic I won't be able to do things like get my VISA sorted or get on a teacher training course before I'm off travelling. 

My CO is NOT the best strategy to take my mind off my "life". It feels pathetic and ridiculous, reddit would have a field day with it , I cringe reading most of my messages here and no matter how many times I'm told otherwise I know she'd still find it as sad and creepy as anyone else would. Also the more amazing she seems the more worthless I seem in comparison. BUT - it is the strategy that my mind has chosen and I'm realizing I should just enjoy her and focus on sorting out my productivity.

On the plus side my productivity, at least with regard to my game, is slowly improving. It's frustrating that all the changes I've made to my game over the past few months are not even visible they are so small! Mostly tiny bug fixes. I've just got to accept that even though the ratio of time spent to amount achieved is absurd it is at least something.

Glad things seem to be going better for @dazedandconfused1 , @OpalP25 , @HopelessRomantic2011. Enjoy seeing your old CO HopelessRomantic! Maybe I'm in the same place as @fabulousrockstar - having a CO can be rough, unfortunately its something we have to live with while we put the real energy into sorting out the real problem - liking ourselves. Glad your getting there in that respect.  @posie_riot well done for still managing to avoid your CO. Can't say much except that adblock is probably the right approach. That and spending time away from computers all together and disconnecting from the web. That's what I need to do anyway.



 

Edited by MysteryName

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@posie_riot The Internet (not just social media) is a blessing and a curse.  Obviously without it, we wouldn't be here supporting each other.  But there's so much that goes along with it that can hurt...the possibilities for hurt are endless it seems.  I'm glad you took the steps that you did.  Everything you can do to take control is a good thing. 

@MysteryName  Trying to get her out of my head is the wrong idea. I need her.  

You're the best judge of that, not your therapist.  Having a CO isn't a problem for everyone. It's not a problem for me; I'd be lost...I'd be sick...much worse off, without mine.  I think therapists think there's only one way to be "normal" and who even knows what "normal" is.  For me, normal is loving that man who I saw on the back of his band's 3rd album cover.  Anything else would not be normal.  You have your "normal" too, and it's not for your therapist to decide.  Not reddit either.  Only you can do that. 

I think you're like me about this.  If I tried to quit my CO (or someone tried to take him away from me -- my therapist  took me through a very confusing period for about 6 weeks between the end of April until mid-June) I would be -- I was miserable.  I wouldn't be very productive either.   Yes, allow yourself to enjoy that lovely CO of yours.  Stop focusing on what she would think if she knew what we're saying right now.  This is a support thread. We're here pouring out different emotions in different ways than we would if we were speaking to our COs.  This is not the place where I would want my CO to learn about me or find out about my feelings about him...there's much I would like to say to him if I had the opportunity, but not the way I've said them in this thread!!  I can't think of anything specific that I've said that's embarrassing, but I know it wouldn't take me long to find something!!  So, you're not alone there either, and I don't think either of us are creepy.  

Even though you think your progress with your game is small, you're right...it's something.  Just keep looking ahead and moving forward, even if it's baby steps.   You're doing great!! 

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@fabulousrockstar I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time right now. Sometimes not knowing how someone feels can drive a person a little crazy, so I can certainly sympathize. Having too much time on your hands generally isn't a good thing for those of us with CO's because that's usually when things can so easily get out of hand, so perhaps the fact that you no longer have that will work in your favor. Also wishing you a speedy recovery from your fall! :hugs:

@posie_riot Unexpected triggers are the absolute worst. We have no way to prepare or avoid it, so we're just kinda stuck. It sounds like you've taken some big steps toward keeping it from happening again, though, so hopefully it helps.

 

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Well, my being in a somewhat good place with my fantasy, as always, got ruined last night cuz someone put the person I hate more than anyone on my facebook. Then I had to sit next to my fiancee and fight the urge to cry and throw sh*t at walls and everything else I wanted to do. Another bleak realization came to my mind that just depresses me more.. If this person died like I wish for him to every day, even THAT would cause me pain cuz then he'd be on all these magazines being praised for...whatever it is people think he has contributed to the entertainment world..which by the way is NOTHING..and not to mention how much more they'd push the media's lies. I will NEVER believe it. NEVER! I'm trying to be "less offensive" with my feelings since people like to report me in my darkest hours..but I am so full of hate I could explode. I will never dignify your existence by giving you a name, but in the event that YOU are the one out there reading, know this..you are so deeply hated there are no words to describe it. I dont interrupt your perfect little bullsh*t life with my face so get your face and your horrible lies out of my face. You will never be good enough for her and I hate you more than I've ever hated anyone. And I hate alot of people. You cause pain just by existing, you pathetic excuse for an actor. If even 10% of the ill wishes I have for you came true, I promise you'd hate being alive. I want to see you and your entire life and career destroyed. I HATE YOU. Mila is MY person. She always has been and always will be. Get your horrendous face out of my head NOW. You have no right to touch her you will never be worthy. I hope something terrible happens to you today.

From here on out, anyone who triggers me, especially with that loser, is off my facebook and out of my life. SEE YA BYE.

While I'm in rant mode, somewhat unrelated..one thing im really getting sick of is seeing celebrities give their two cents about the election and world issues. Like ANY of it effects you or will interfere with your perfect little lives or your perfect little paychecks. Just put the silver spoon back in your mouth and shut up. Let us ordinary people whose dreams will always just be dreams and have REAL problems worry about the issues. It also irritates me that we have someone running for president who has NO qualifications..just..you guessed it.. FAME. If a celebrity gets to run this country, im out of here.

Mila, sorry I can't even bring myself to speak to you today. My heart is in shambles. But you're good for doing that to me.

 

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My ex-CO (not even my most recent ex-CO) posted a sweet picture of his wife and child on Facebook to wish her a happy birthday. Several of my COs are married with children, so I'm used to it and not all that bothered by it, but for some reason, I'm still petty when it comes to this particular CO's wife. I don't know much about her but she seems like a nice person and he obviously loves her a lot. But normally, I just ignore anything he posts about her. Well today, I decided that I was going to be a better person and "like" the photo even though my initial reaction was jealousy. lol I mean, heck, he's not even my current CO! When another ex-CO of mine recently posted a picture on Facebook regarding the birth of his first child, I sincerely congratulated him so I'm not sure why I have selective jealousy regarding this one ex-CO.

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4 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

My ex-CO (not even my most recent ex-CO) posted a sweet picture of his wife and child on Facebook to wish her a happy birthday. Several of my COs are married with children, so I'm used to it and not all that bothered by it, but for some reason, I'm still petty when it comes to this particular CO's wife. I don't know much about her but she seems like a nice person and he obviously loves her a lot. But normally, I just ignore anything he posts about her. Well today, I decided that I was going to be a better person and "like" the photo even though my initial reaction was jealousy. lol I mean, heck, he's not even my current CO! When another ex-CO of mine recently posted a picture on Facebook regarding the birth of his first child, I sincerely congratulated him so I'm not sure why I have selective jealousy regarding this one ex-CO.

Is it possible you still have latent feelings for him? Even if not, hatred and jealousy are very powerful emotions, not easily turned off with a switch. Getting over him doesn't (necessarily) mean you'd automatically change the way you feel about her...in my opinion. 

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10 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

Is it possible you still have latent feelings for him? Even if not, hatred and jealousy are very powerful emotions, not easily turned off with a switch. Getting over him doesn't (necessarily) mean you'd automatically change the way you feel about her...in my opinion. 

Latent feelings for him? I still think he's gorgeous but I am more emotionally attached to other COs. I definitely don't hate his wife and I never had the slightest chance of being in her position nor do I think I'd be any better for him than her, so I'm sure I'll get over it one of these days. I even have a picture saved in my phone of another ex-CO, his wife, and their army of kids and it doesn't bother me to look at it because I think they're a cute family. Well actually, looking at the photo does make me a little sad- not because she's with my ex-CO but just because I know I'll never have my own cute little army of kids with anyone.

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10 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

My ex-CO (not even my most recent ex-CO) posted a sweet picture of his wife and child on Facebook to wish her a happy birthday. Several of my COs are married with children, so I'm used to it and not all that bothered by it, but for some reason, I'm still petty when it comes to this particular CO's wife. I don't know much about her but she seems like a nice person and he obviously loves her a lot. But normally, I just ignore anything he posts about her. Well today, I decided that I was going to be a better person and "like" the photo even though my initial reaction was jealousy. lol I mean, heck, he's not even my current CO! When another ex-CO of mine recently posted a picture on Facebook regarding the birth of his first child, I sincerely congratulated him so I'm not sure why I have selective jealousy regarding this one ex-CO.

That's understandable. You're probably still experiencing a bit of underlying jealousy towards the wife, and I don't think that sort of thing ever goes away completely. I'm going through something similar with my second most intense CO (second to the one I have now). When that CO got engaged, and then later married in 2010, I was heartbroken. Nothing like what I'm going through now, but it was still a bad scene. I was extremely jealous of my CO's wife and I thought he made a huge mistake by marrying her. Obviously wanted to marry him, and of course she was so beautiful and the perfect example of everything I wished I was. I was 16 years old at the time and this woman was what kids nowadays might call "life goals" to me. 

Flash forward to now. I follow both my old CO and the wife on Instagram. They've had two children, and I see lots of lovey-dovey family photos of them all on a weekly basis. It doesn't bother me on any sort of a deep level, but I do find myself rolling my eyes occasionally. I'll look at a particularly pretty photo of the wife and think: "Goddammit..."  It's not like it's hurting me to see the photos, but it does get a bit annoying. Now you might be wondering why I'm following them, and I can't even answer that question lol. It would just be weird to unfollow them at this point, especially since I'm still curious about their lives. 

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 @Audrey822 Even if I could find a guy, I'm not sure I could have a baby and definitely not multiple babies. The thought of giving birth really scares me!

@posie_riot Yeah, I was initially jealous when all of my COs got married but I became ok with it after awhile. This particular one has been married for less than two years and I feel like he only married her because she was pregnant (and now she's pregnant again) but they seem happy so I should be happy for him. At least Bill won't publicly talk about his relationships at all or even specify the gender of his partners, so I appreciate that. Ignorance is bliss! :)

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