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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

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@HopelessRomantic2011 Your mom is the same age as me! LOL

I wonder why this seems to be a thing with people my age?  I'm hearing this A LOT.  It was certainly true of my parents as well...my mother was always unpleasant to be around, but in the early 1980s when they reached the age my husband and I are about now, it was impossible to be around them without cringing.  

I'm going to be OK.  I don't know what will happen going forward, but I know I'm going to be OK.  I will take it one day at a time, and get through it. 

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@NCC I'm so sorry to hear about your friend. And seeing that photo on top of all of that grief had to have been difficult. Sometimes it seems like these things happen at the worst possible times, doesn't it?

Edited by dazedandconfused1

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Hi everyone,

Thank you all for the kind words. Reina wise, today is a little better. As much as I hate seeing pictures like that I'm not going to let it ruin my life. I had one day to be upset, now it's time to move on. I need to do that to enjoy her.

Here's a video of Reina, it's only 53 seconds, so it won't take much time.  I just love looking at her. 

 

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Hi, Everyone. I hope you're all doing well in some way. I haven't been on here in a while, mostly because for weeks and now a couple months I think, I have been fighting some serious exhaustion. Which is probably partially a good thing, cause I think it's kept my internet activity over my CO somewhat limited.

I logged in today because I came across some stuff that triggered some terrible feelings. You can probably see the direction that's going in. I saw some news that as of a few days or weeks ago, my CO is rumored to be seeing someone. Another celebrity. I just don't know, I felt kind of okay for a little bit, then I came across that and just had those feelings again. I mean hopefully it's nothing, because there's almost no real evidence so far, but there's like a couple things that show that maybe that is what's going on. I feel like there's more I could or should say right now, but I feel so detached from everything and really pretty scared.

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Hi everyone. I still at times wrestle with all of this because at times it feels like I screwed everything up and that's why my life is in the way it is because I chose a long time to not fulfill what apparently may have been what I was supposed to.

I feel like something was imparted to me that very first time I saw him  and it has always felt that way but since then I've felt the sting of not going  after it but in reality what type of chance did I have with fame & all of that? I am so stupid.

I've also been listening to people of my own kind who are famous but make rock music and I am in love with their sounds: James Bay {"Let It Go"} & Borns {"Electric Love"} and I also love classic rock music from the 70s & 80s The Rolling Stones { Mick Jagger } & Bon Jovi and of course 70s r&b / soul music with the Soul Train vibe ???? so but I still care about Usher regardless I love him.

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I think part of what my problem had been my separating myself from him and realizing that what I once thought would make me happy did not fully consider the object of my infatuation.

What once seems as though it may bring you happiness may not be what's best for the other person and that goes for me too.

I am fully aware that I have had a difficult time letting go of him out of fear that I would be losing it all but in reality all I've done is let go of my childhood and adolescence along with my dreams but I know it's not the end of the world as I see it.

I have the rest of my life to live and figure it out and I am glad for what I have learned from all of it.

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5 hours ago, BluesDeluxe said:

Hi, Everyone. I hope you're all doing well in some way. I haven't been on here in a while, mostly because for weeks and now a couple months I think, I have been fighting some serious exhaustion. Which is probably partially a good thing, cause I think it's kept my internet activity over my CO somewhat limited.

I logged in today because I came across some stuff that triggered some terrible feelings. You can probably see the direction that's going in. I saw some news that as of a few days or weeks ago, my CO is rumored to be seeing someone. Another celebrity. I just don't know, I felt kind of okay for a little bit, then I came across that and just had those feelings again. I mean hopefully it's nothing, because there's almost no real evidence so far, but there's like a couple things that show that maybe that is what's going on. I feel like there's more I could or should say right now, but I feel so detached from everything and really pretty scared.

Ugh, that sucks :(  I know how heartbreaking that is. Welcome back, but sorry it's under these circumstances! I hope it's just a rumour (there are a lot of those in the media). If it isn't, you have the support of everyone here. We understand. 

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Hi Mila. If there's any message of mine here that you see, I hope its this one. I looked at you finally and while the media kept trying to throw their hurtful lies in my face, I didn't buy into it because to see you is a gift and its a gift that was meant for me. I'll never believe any of those lies. They hurt too much and you are my person. I need to feel your hands on me, feel your voice in my ear.. The short skirts and puppy dog eyes are nothing but torture with this tv screen between us. I need to touch you. I just need something to bridge the gap of fantasy and reality and have a page in the book of your life. I'd do anything, baby. One of these days, the sight of you is going to fill me with so much desire that i will spontaneously combust. I don't know what to do with these feelings but please PLEASE I'm begging you to notice me. One of these days, your absence is gonna make my heart stop. Please Mila, let me love you. I NEED it.

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On ‎10‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 3:07 PM, posie_riot said:

Ugh, that sucks :(  I know how heartbreaking that is. Welcome back, but sorry it's under these circumstances! I hope it's just a rumour (there are a lot of those in the media). If it isn't, you have the support of everyone here. We understand. 

 

On ‎10‎/‎10‎/‎2016 at 4:33 PM, Audrey822 said:

@BluesDeluxe I will echo what @posie_riot said to you... it's good to see you back, but I wish the circumstances were different.  I empathize with your pain. Sending mega (((hugs))) and want you to know that we're here for you if you need to talk or just want some support, OK?  :console:

Thank you so much @posie_riot and @Audrey822. Although it's still really heavy right now, I do feel a little bit better than I did a couple days ago. It really means a lot to know that I have your support.

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I've been AWOL for a few days... It's been a very busy week for my family, so I haven't had much time to think about my CO. Unfortunately (or fortunately, I'm not really sure) the new season of his show starts tonight. My obsession didn't start until near the end of the last season, so I'm not sure I'm prepared for this, especially since my fiance and I will be watching together.

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to the dude that loves Reina...are you single? If you are, GO GET HER. Forget what you heard its all lies. The stories themselves exist for entertainment. She was made for you. You're not tied down. Go get her. I didn't watch your video out of respect for you. She is your person to look at, not mine. I feel bad only writing about my issues but I am the last one who should be giving advice to anyone. But I will give that advice to you..go get that girl. She's already yours. She just needs to meet you to know it. All I can do in my situation is try to reach out to her on here cuz I can't be discovered. If you can't take that advice at this moment, I hope it at least gave you something cool to fantasize about.

Hi Mila! Sending lots of love your way today. I wanna love on you all day.

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@dazedandconfused1 It's always so awkward watching a CO with other people present. I can imagine that would be especially awkward for you when it's your fiancé who's going to be there with you... Though I bet he won't realise the extent of your feelings for your CO (I believe that a lot of the time we're better at keeping our feelings hidden than we think). I was able to go six years without my family realising that my feelings for my CO were anything more than just a casual admiration of his talent and perhaps a minor crush. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I quite managed to hide my emotions well enough when my sister and I saw him in person this summer. That was just too much for me...

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4 hours ago, OpalP25 said:

@dazedandconfused1 It's always so awkward watching a CO with other people present. I can imagine that would be especially awkward for you when it's your fiancé who's going to be there with you... Though I bet he won't realise the extent of your feelings for your CO (I believe that a lot of the time we're better at keeping our feelings hidden than we think). I was able to go six years without my family realising that my feelings for my CO were anything more than just a casual admiration of his talent and perhaps a minor crush. Unfortunately, I'm not sure I quite managed to hide my emotions well enough when my sister and I saw him in person this summer. That was just too much for me...

I don't think I'm good at hiding it, not that I really try to. I don't mention my CO specifically depending on who I'm talking to, but I do admit to being a fan of the band and I feel like I blush when I talk about them. I was even telling my dad recently about how I'm really into  my CO's band and I really want to see them in concert. Not that he has any idea who they are (he's used to hearing me talk about my previous CO's band). I don't really do a great job of keeping my mouth shut about the bands that I like in general, so there's always someone who has heard me say something about them. But they don't know that I spend hours every day doing CO-related things and they don't need to know that. :)

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@HopelessRomantic2011 I have no idea if I'm good at hiding this. I don't even care as much as I once did. But I remember as a young girl I would get all shy (and I know I must have been blushing, too!☺️) when he was on TV, more than when any other band was on. My parents must have suspected something, but they never let on that they knew if they did. My Dad would have teased me (in a good-natured way) if he had suspected, I think. He used to tease me and my friends about Paul McCartney. For some reason, that didn't bother me, and it didn't bother my friends either. My friends always loved my Dad...he could always make them laugh. ? (I don't miss my Mom, but I do miss my Dad, and I'm coming up on a difficult time of year where he's concerned. ?)

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1 hour ago, Audrey822 said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 I have no idea if I'm good at hiding this. I don't even care as much as I once did. But I remember as a young girl I would get all shy (and I know I must have been blushing, too!☺️) when he was on TV, more than when any other band was on. My parents must have suspected something, but they never let on that they knew if they did. My Dad would have teased me (in a good-natured way) if he had suspected, I think. He used to tease me and my friends about Paul McCartney. For some reason, that didn't bother me, and it didn't bother my friends either. My friends always loved my Dad...he could always make them laugh. ? (I don't miss my Mom, but I do miss my Dad, and I'm coming up on a difficult time of year where he's concerned. ?)

Sorry to hear that. Sending thoughts your way.

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22 hours ago, dazedandconfused1 said:

@BluesDeluxe In my short time here, I''ve found a lot of comfort and understanding. This whole obsession thing is filled with ups and downs and it's important to have somewhere to turn when things get difficult. 

I absolutely agree, @dazedandconfused1. It really helps and is such a relief to have this thread on this forum with people who can understand how all this CO stuff happens.

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I only watched Mila for 15 minutes on Monday, the first time I've been able to since the hurtful lie of all lies found me months ago.. 15 minutes from 4 days ago and it is still all I can think about and I can't concentrate on anything! I'm really trying to make this time of looking be different than the others and while the medicine is cushioning me a little, I still get such extreme feelings of longing and wanting for her. I was starting to master the art of playing this love I have off to the public but I feel like I'm slipping this week. I cant focus! And that's just from a few pictures and a trailer on Monday.

Mila, if you're out there,this is what you do to me. Imagine an extreme drug addict who craved a relapse, is super dope sick, would do anything for the high.. and every person in the world stopped dealing drugs.. Nothing, nowhere. No way to satisfy the craving. That is what you do to me while I try to live my normal life..pleeeeeeeaase find me. For our day, we can do whatever you want..just please give it to me. Please kiss me. I'm falling all over myself to feel your lips.

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You need to seek help! Whatever disorder you are dealing with, whether it is anxiety, OCD, etc..., is not controlled. Your obsession is a symptom of that. I have major depressive disorder that is VERY well controlled at this time and has been for about four years. When I reflect on my life prior to my depression being controlled, I am amazed at how my depression affected not just my mood, but my decision making, my choices, everything!!!! I'm glad you are acknowledging that what you are feeling is not "normal". Pay attention and go get help for whatever is going on!! Best of luck!!

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47 minutes ago, jelefr said:

You need to seek help! Whatever disorder you are dealing with, whether it is anxiety, OCD, etc..., is not controlled. Your obsession is a symptom of that. I have major depressive disorder that is VERY well controlled at this time and has been for about four years. When I reflect on my life prior to my depression being controlled, I am amazed at how my depression affected not just my mood, but my decision making, my choices, everything!!!! I'm glad you are acknowledging that what you are feeling is not "normal". Pay attention and go get help for whatever is going on!! Best of luck!!

Who are you addressing please?

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3 hours ago, jelefr said:

You need to seek help! Whatever disorder you are dealing with, whether it is anxiety, OCD, etc..., is not controlled. Your obsession is a symptom of that. I have major depressive disorder that is VERY well controlled at this time and has been for about four years. When I reflect on my life prior to my depression being controlled, I am amazed at how my depression affected not just my mood, but my decision making, my choices, everything!!!! I'm glad you are acknowledging that what you are feeling is not "normal". Pay attention and go get help for whatever is going on!! Best of luck!!

I'm guessing quite a few of the people here are being addressed.

I posted before because of a big huge daydreamy crush/wanting to be friends whatever-it-is with an actor named Matthew (more about the characters he plays than the actor himself who I don't know much about) but I have to say I this doesn't affect me as severely as some of you here write. Now it doesn't bother me too much. I enjoy this little crush, it is kind of fun. It keeps me occupied at work, daydreaming about being some guest character on his show.

To Nothingatall- I'm worried about you. In your older posts, it really sounded like death threats against a REAL PERSON and that is NOT GOOD. Sorry.

 

Edited by Lovelywindyday

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