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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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I'm so sorry @NCC about your friend. That is absolutely tragic. I hope you're okay, and please know that we're here for you.

I have been thinking about you and wondering how things are going with Reina. That sucks that you had to come across that picture, and I know the feeling of having your day ruined over something like that. I know it was just acting, but it makes sense for you to be upset. It's the "reality check" we'd all like to avoid. 

Reina does modelling and a lot of professional photoshoots right? Is there any way for you to only see those kinds of photos? Like, are there certain sources or websites where you could only come across professional photos? If so, that could be an option. I'm not great with this kind of advice, as I'm still avoiding my CO like the plague. 

Edited by posie_riot
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18 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

I'm so sorry @NCC about your friend. That is absolutely tragic. I hope you're okay, and please know that we're here for you.

I have been thinking about you and wondering how things are going with Reina. That sucks that you had to come across that picture, and I know the feeling of having your day ruined over something like that. I know it was just acting, but it makes sense for you to be upset. It's the "reality check" we'd all like to avoid. 

Reina does modelling and a lot of professional photoshoots right? Is there any way for you to only see those kinds of photos? Like, are there certain sources or websites where you could only come across professional photos? If so, that could be an option. I'm not great with this kind of advice, as I'm still avoiding my CO like the plague. 

Hi posie_riot,

I'm doing ok, I've come to accept my friends passing. There's nothing else you can do. It still feels weird that I'll never hear from him again.

As for Reina, she does a lot of modeling and professional shoots. Those are the sites I usually go to. The one with the insidious picture was a site called Modelpress. It has a lot of promotional type pics.  It's a hard one to avoid since a lot of her best pics come from there. I try to be safe, but still you can run into a pic that ruins your day. Some of the best pictures of her come from screen captures. These usually are safe, she does a lot of commercials which are always fun to watch. As for trying to find captures from her shows or movies, I have to tread carefully.  I have some I really like from her shows so stopping isn't an option, yet.   

The other thing I hate, is when someone does post one of those lip lock pictures, a lot of posters seem to love it.  I guess those people really are not obsessed the same way I am. 

Life certainly has its ups and downs. Right now I've hit a big dip in the road.  I hope I see an upward trend, soon. 

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3 hours ago, NCC said:

Hi gang,

Well, when things go bad, things go bad.  First of all, a friend of mine for 25 years died. He went fishing with his young son and another man. They never came back. Last Saturday their bodies were found in 300 feet of water.

With Reina, my CO I could at least find a little solace.  But today I went to one of the sites to acquire more pictures. There was a new one.  It was one from a new show she's in. She was lip locked with someone.  I felt very jealous and it pretty much ruined my day.  Now I know it's only her acting in a show, yet I hate seeing it.  It was just another taunting reminder that is something I'll never do with her. Seeing that makes life suck. Maybe it wouldn't have been as big of a deal if my friend didn't die. That's just added to the stress. 

Sometimes I wish I could be happy with the pictures of her I have already and never look her up online again, yet I feel a need to find more. How many more do I need? I must be closing in a 7000 pictures of her now. I've spent thousands of dollars on the obsession.   I still feel so high when I look at her. I'm hopelessly hooked on her.  I guess I'm going to have to accept seeing garbage like I saw earlier today if I'm going to keep obsessing over Reina.  I can't help but obsess, so I'm stuck. 

Hi @NCC - I'm sorry to hear about your friend.

And sorry that you came across that picture at a time when you probably weren't feeling very strong anyway. It's hard, I know, but on the plus side, it is just acting, just a promo. I try really hard to avoid these kinds of picture of my CO but it is hard. I have no advice for how to do it, unfortunately. I hope you hit an upward part of the road again very soon. 

Edited by perfectcircle77
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On 10/6/2016 at 6:17 AM, perfectcircle77 said:

So I mentioned before about the possibility of seeing my CO on tour early next year and guess what? Three months today, I shall be seeing him on stage, from the front row, with my husband next to me. We're not doing meet and greet (price was a factor but also my husband didn't want to and I really didn't want to push it and raise ideas in his head) but we are front row. I am excited about this but also terrified. I wish I hadn't got front row, I wish we were sitting further back. He can see me on the front row, he is going to see me and not recognise me as the love of his life and I am going to walk out of the arena having been so close to him and not talking to him. I've been pondering presents for all 4 of them - lots of fans do it - but we're not meeting them so I'm not sure how I'd get them to them but also I can just see my husband's reaction at my ridiculousness, so I won't.

I expect to be a whirl of conflicting emotions as it draws closer, I am hoping our impending house move might distract me enough.

While front row is awesome, I realize how intimidating it can be. I've been front row once for a concert (the guy had been a former CO but wasn't a CO at the time that I saw him), and I felt super self-conscious like I couldn't dance and enjoy the show because I didn't want to look stupid. Yet I'm sure they love to see fans letting loose and having fun instead of just standing there looking bored and uptight. So I can understand you wanting to be a little bit further back, but I hope you have an amazing time regardless! I am seeing a CO (not my main) in concert very soon and there will probably be a meet and greet as well. I've met him before, but I'm sure I'll still be super nervous and awkward like I always am. I just can't help it!

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4 hours ago, NCC said:

Hi gang,

Well, when things go bad, things go bad.  First of all, a friend of mine for 25 years died. He went fishing with his young son and another man. They never came back. Last Saturday their bodies were found in 300 feet of water.

With Reina, my CO I could at least find a little solace.  But today I went to one of the sites to acquire more pictures. There was a new one.  It was one from a new show she's in. She was lip locked with someone.  I felt very jealous and it pretty much ruined my day.  Now I know it's only her acting in a show, yet I hate seeing it.  It was just another taunting reminder that is something I'll never do with her. Seeing that makes life suck. Maybe it wouldn't have been as big of a deal if my friend didn't die. That's just added to the stress. 

Sometimes I wish I could be happy with the pictures of her I have already and never look her up online again, yet I feel a need to find more. How many more do I need? I must be closing in a 7000 pictures of her now. I've spent thousands of dollars on the obsession.   I still feel so high when I look at her. I'm hopelessly hooked on her.  I guess I'm going to have to accept seeing garbage like I saw earlier today if I'm going to keep obsessing over Reina.  I can't help but obsess, so I'm stuck. 

I'm so sorry to hear about your friend and I hope you are doing ok. I'm sure a lot of us can relate regarding the constant desire for new photos. And yes, it can definitely be difficult to see a photo of a CO with a romantic partner (or even just a pretend romantic partner). But 99% of the time, looking at a photo of a CO makes me happy. My smartphone recently implemented a new "CO detection feature"- it automatically groups my photos into albums based on facial recognition, so now I don't have to hunt through all my photos to find my COs! Of course, it just made it easier for me to drool over certain pictures. I keep coming back to this one in particular. So much beauty in one photo! *sigh*

bk.jpg

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@NCC I'm very sorry to hear about your friend. That's rough. I'm also sorry you had to run into that picture.

 

I know all about running into a toxic picture in a place you expected would be safe...only for me, it wasn't acting or modeling. ?

I recently (symbolically) triumphed over the b!tch. I feel so much better now. I hope you will soon, too.

@HopelessRomantic2011 You mentioned this new facial recognition feature on your phone...recent update to iOS 10 by any chance? As you can imagine, I have mixed feelings...I mean, really, Apple? ? What am I supposed to do? I had all of this discreetly organized...but now, it's obvious my CO is THE most important person in my photo album. I can't even open the Photos app around anyone now because this "people" thing is right on top! ?Does anyone know a way to get rid of that?? 

Oh, by the way...he's very handsome, if you don't mind me saying so. Those eyes!! ??

 

Edited by Audrey822
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5 hours ago, NCC said:

The other thing I hate, is when someone does post one of those lip lock pictures, a lot of posters seem to love it.  I guess those people really are not obsessed the same way I am. 

 

We were having a discussion just yesterday about things like this -- how some fans have over-the-top reactions to "things" and events that break our hearts.  That's exactly what it is...they're not obsessed about that particular celebrity, and they're not mindful of anyone who might be. 

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12 minutes ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

  @Audrey822 Yup, I'm referring to the iOS 10 update! :) I'm not sure if there's any way to disable it. Is it bad that I "favorited" the albums of my COs but not of myself or any of the people who I actually know in real life? lol

Hmmm...I have "favorited" a lot of my CO's pics (of course!) ❤️ I wonder if that's why his are showing up in the "people" album more frequently than people I actually know in real life! I have (adult) children...something about that isn't right!! ????

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1 minute ago, Audrey822 said:

Hmmm...I have "favorited" a lot of my CO's pics (of course!) ❤️ I wonder if that's why his are showing up in the "people" album more frequently than people I actually know in real life! I have (adult) children...something about that isn't right!! ????

Haha, I can see how this new feature might be a problem for some people. Luckily, I don't have the need to be too discreet but I keep my phone to myself for the most part.

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13 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

Oh, by the way...he's very handsome, if you don't mind me saying so. Those eyes!! ??

@Audrey822 Of course I don't mind you saying so! I'm not even into piercings and all that, but I find him ridiculously beautiful regardless. His eyes are amazing. And his nose is perfect. He is prettier than I am. :)

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2 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Haha, I can see how this new feature might be a problem for some people. Luckily, I don't have the need to be too discreet but I keep my phone to myself for the most part.

I've "fixed" this. I now have a Box account and app -- for my CO's pics and (unfortunately) I've had to take his pics out of the Photos app on my phone. Box works like Dropbox, but I couldn't use Dropbox because we (husband, sons, and I) all share files on that service for family and pet photos... I wouldn't want a mix-up to occur. ? It doesn't really matter, the Box app does the same thing as the Apple Photo app, but even more securely. I should have done that a long time ago. 

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One problem I have is having such a bad guilty conscience and right now, it concerns my CO.

I run a Twitter fan page for my CO and yesterday I made the mistake of doing a poll asking whether my support was enough. There's been 21 votes and 81% said yes and the other 19% said no. I then made the mistake telling them to tell me anonymously (on something called CuriousCat) what I'm doing wrong. 2 people messaged saying that I tweet too much and that I probably annoy him. Some came on and claimed I don't but I can't help but feel incredibly bad.

Now I won't lie, that's a fair comment, I do tweet a lot and yes, I tweet my CO a lot too, I imagine that he's fed up of seeing my name in his notifications but now I just feel really bad about it. I'm not the sort of person to just leave Twitter as it's one of the only things that keeps me going but I'm trying to tweet less. But it's really hard, especially over the next few weeks as he's coming back on TV in his new series and I am obviously not going to not tweet during/about that.

I know I brought it on myself by asking in the first place but because of my anxiety and kind of hate criticism, my guilty conscience is really high.

I hate to even think I am annoying him at all. :unsure:

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8 hours ago, NCC said:

  The other thing I hate, is when someone does post one of those lip lock pictures, a lot of posters seem to love it.  I guess those people really are not obsessed the same way I am. 

 

2 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

We were having a discussion just yesterday about things like this -- how some fans have over-the-top reactions to "things" and events that break our hearts.  That's exactly what it is...they're not obsessed about that particular celebrity, and they're not mindful of anyone who might be. 

I think that for me, dealing with the over-enthusiastic fans was often harder than whatever initially happened to upset me. For example, when I found out about "the news" back in May, it was heartbreaking to see all his other fans freaking out and being so happy for him. They were ecstatic like I've never seen them before, and it killed me. On top of that, they actually made fun of another fan behind her back who they thought might be upset about it. I never talked to these people so it wasn't me they were making fun of, but you can imagine how I took it. These fans are awfully obsessed with my CO, but clearly not in the way I am. I'm sure they'd all think I was a complete freak. I prefer to think of myself as a Super Freak, of the Rick James variety. 

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2 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 It took me a minute to figure out who that was. I can't believe how different he looks to me now but wow...I approve!! The scruff really suits him. 

He keeps changing his look though! That picture is from two years ago, I think. He has pink hair right now and I DON'T approve...not that he cares what I think. lol I like him with dark hair and really I prefer him clean shaven, but I can deal with a little scruff. But it hides that cute little mole under his lips that I like so much. :(

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1 minute ago, posie_riot said:

@HopelessRomantic2011 Just checked out the pink hair - yeah, no good. He seems like someone who doesn't like to keep one look for too long, so I wouldn't be surprised if he ends up clean-shaven with dark hair again sometime soon! 

Yeah, it's like he just can't accept that he's beautiful so he keeps doing crazy things with his hair and covering himself in piercings and tattoos. Or maybe it's the opposite where he thinks he's so beautiful that he can just do whatever he wants with his look and he'll still be beautiful regardless. haha

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1 hour ago, posie_riot said:

 

I think that for me, dealing with the over-enthusiastic fans was often harder than whatever initially happened to upset me. For example, when I found out about "the news" back in May, it was heartbreaking to see all his other fans freaking out and being so happy for him. They were ecstatic like I've never seen them before, and it killed me. On top of that, they actually made fun of another fan behind her back who they thought might be upset about it. I never talked to these people so it wasn't me they were making fun of, but you can imagine how I took it. These fans are awfully obsessed with my CO, but clearly not in the way I am. I'm sure they'd all think I was a complete freak. I prefer to think of myself as a Super Freak, of the Rick James variety. 

 I decided to delete my comment....TMI for a public board where who know who is lurking.

Edited by Audrey822
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2 hours ago, HopelessRomantic2011 said:

Yeah, it's like he just can't accept that he's beautiful so he keeps doing crazy things with his hair and covering himself in piercings and tattoos. Or maybe it's the opposite where he thinks he's so beautiful that he can just do whatever he wants with his look and he'll still be beautiful regardless. haha

I'm strange..."people" (read: those in my house who think they know me best...they don't know me at all) try to pigeonhole me. They think I have a type. If you've seen my CO (some of you have) you might assume all men I find attractive look like him. Nope. I've liked guys with tattoos, piercings, light-skinned, dark-skinned, blondes, dark-hair, dreads, (one thing I have to say: I've not yet fallen for a guy with no hair...LOL) I haven't seen pink hair yet, but I can't believe it would make the guy in your picture any less HOT. ?

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5 minutes ago, Audrey822 said:

I'm strange..."people" (read: those in my house who think they know me best...they don't know me at all) try to pigeonhole me. They think I have a type. If you've seen my CO (some of you have) you might assume all men I find attractive look like him. Nope. I've liked guys with tattoos, piercings, light-skinned, dark-skinned, blondes, dark-hair, dreads, (one thing I have to say: I've not yet fallen for a guy with no hair...LOL) I haven't seen pink hair yet, but I can't believe it would make the guy in your picture any less HOT. ?

Oh, I hear ya. I'm flexible in what I can be attracted to also, but I DO have a type and it has never and will never include pink hair! (I know his twin brother would never dye his hair pink though, so I can always just fantasize about him when I need to. LOL)

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8 hours ago, SophieViolet95 said:

One problem I have is having such a bad guilty conscience and right now, it concerns my CO.

I run a Twitter fan page for my CO and yesterday I made the mistake of doing a poll asking whether my support was enough. There's been 21 votes and 81% said yes and the other 19% said no. I then made the mistake telling them to tell me anonymously (on something called CuriousCat) what I'm doing wrong. 2 people messaged saying that I tweet too much and that I probably annoy him. Some came on and claimed I don't but I can't help but feel incredibly bad.

Now I won't lie, that's a fair comment, I do tweet a lot and yes, I tweet my CO a lot too, I imagine that he's fed up of seeing my name in his notifications but now I just feel really bad about it. I'm not the sort of person to just leave Twitter as it's one of the only things that keeps me going but I'm trying to tweet less. But it's really hard, especially over the next few weeks as he's coming back on TV in his new series and I am obviously not going to not tweet during/about that.

I know I brought it on myself by asking in the first place but because of my anxiety and kind of hate criticism, my guilty conscience is really high.

I hate to even think I am annoying him at all. :unsure:

I don't use Twitter but it would bother me too if I thought I was annoying a CO. I don't make attempts to communicate with any of them online at all. One of them occasionally posts on their website message board and other fans will direct comments to him and send him private messages (which he responds to), but I don't. 

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On 10/2/2016 at 8:23 AM, Audrey822 said:

Thank you both so much, @posie_riot and @OpalP25

I don't know what I can do (but I've been thinking about options, and not for the first time.) Thing is, I don't have a job, and it's been a very long time since I had one that brought in decent money. Age is going to be a factor there as well...how would I support myself if I leave? Along those lines, this was a thought I had last night: I wonder if he realizes this too, and he doesn't bother to make the effort to treat me better because what can I do about it anyway?

I wish these things wouldn't happen right before a therapy appointment (tomorrow.) I know I'm going to be tempted to talk about this when she asks how I'm doing...and I never know if it's a mistake, if I'll be opening a can of worms by bringing up something like this.  Will she try to talk me into couples counseling again? (do not want) ...tell me it's because I've been "stepping out on my marriage" with my CO? (? I wish.) 

I have a lot of thinking to do.  My sons will never understand this either. There's that to deal with. 

@Audrey822 I don't mean to rehash things, but I was reading back a few pages and I'm just now seeing this. I'm sure it's a very tough situation to be in. My mom is 60 and she complains to me about my dad every day and has wanted to leave him for a long time but she can't leave for financial reasons either. I really don't think my dad is a bad guy but they're just not a good romantic match for each other.  I don't think she was ever really in love with him, to be honest. Even at 60, my mom still gets attention from men and there is actually some guy she likes who is trying to pursue her now (she tells me everything even when I don't really want to hear about it). But it would basically just be her going from being with my dad who she's known for almost 40 years to some guy who she really doesn't know very well at all. Could this guy be the love of her life? Maybe, but I doubt it and it's easy for the grass to seem greener when you're not happy with your relationship. She feels like my dad ignores and neglects  her too but I don't think that leaving him at this point would be the best thing to do. Of course it's her decision though. But she's been talking about leaving him for at least 20 years now. I'm sure a lot of people aren't happy in their relationships and that is unfortunate. I hope that you are able to do whatever is best for you!

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