Jump to content

Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


Recommended Posts

@Sandy2016 Welcome to the forum!

Ugh social media is the absolute worst... I think it's pretty damaging in general to be honest, in terms of making people feel rubbish about themselves, but it's especially harmful when you have a CO. I liked what you said about "going CSI" on your CO's photos - it gets like that for me at times too. Only yesterday, I was stressing myself out over some "Instagram models" who had commented on a couple of my CO's photos. After spending a while scrolling through their photos, I came to the conclusion that, no, they don't know him. Not even sure why I thought they did in the first place (actually I do know why, it's because I'm extremely paranoid lol!)

You've made the right choice to unfollow both of your COs on social media - that will give you some peace of mind. The trouble for me is that I get so much information, pictures, videos, etc. of my CO from social media, and I'm yet to come across anything that's really hurt me. So I don't want to stop looking. But on the other hand it makes me so d*mn paranoid and obsessive compulsive that I think it might be doing me more harm then good...

I think "shopping around" for a new crush is a great idea! If you make a new start with a new CO and completely avoid the temptation to check his social media, you'll probably be able to just enjoy the crush without feeling stress and pain. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Sandy2016 said:

I actually think that the access to social media these days is exactly what's creating the problem. By having them sharing all this info, all these personal every day things it makes you feel closer to them, like you actually know them, and it makes it so much harder to disassociate from the situation. It's not like in the 90s when you gave up your crush you just threw out his posters and be done with it, nowadays they creep up back in your life over social media and you get involved in their personal life without even realizing it and soon enough you're following the sister of the neighbor of the hair dresser whose photo he liked and trying to go CSI on his photos just to see who is the blonde girl in the back.  I don't think it's the "official stuff" ( movies and appearances) that's doing the damage, for me it's the damn social media.  I sure hope it gets easier. I find myself trying to "shop around" for a new crush lol I'm watching this show on tv and I'm like "why can't you like this guy instead? At least you live in the same country " :-)

oprahgif.gif

 

On top of that, my CO is a comedian who jokes about his personal life, talks about his personal life on podcasts, has written two (going on three) autobiographies, and is overall way too accessible. He took a very long break from social media and I felt personally offended by it. I'm not kidding. I still feel that way, even though I know it's wrong. I feel like he doesn't care about his fans (the jury's still out on that...I'm bitter, yes). Social media is toxic. It's the worst. I don't like the illusion it creates that we mean more to the celebrity than we actually do. It creates too much of a personal connection that doesn't actually exist. It makes us feel like we're their friends, and that opens the door for rejection. 

Also - about the CO creeping back into your life - there is no way, absolutely no way to avoid my CO entirely thanks to social media. I could come across upsetting information any day now because anyone I follow on Twitter can tweet something about him directly into my feed. I can't control the information other people see and choose to send to me. 

Edited by posie_riot
Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, Sandy2016 said:

 

image.jpeg

Oh yes!!  I did that just yesterday before the update came out...but that doesn't stop me from becoming extremely anxious in these situations!!  It doesn't take much to cause anxiety with me!! LOL (I love the graphic BTW!) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Had a bad night a couple of days ago. First time I was totally defeated by my intrusive thoughts. I forget what exactly I was thinking about, but I was like, "screw it, let me ignore this and just get to sleep," which didn't help since I was still awake in bed 1.5 hours after that. Then I jumped out of bed and went to google, and I had successfully been avoiding doing that for about two weeks now. Anyway, did a lot of that, stood up until about 5 in the morning because I had already ruined my routine, and somehow caught up on all my sleep yesterday." A pretty bad breakdown, for me.

It's not even all about her anymore. Or her ex-boyfriends. Or the show anymore. I could have an image of a random celebrity pop up in my head, and I'd feel uncomfortable, because I'd somehow connect them to one of my Intrusive Topics (Romance, Sexual Orientation or Morality).

It just makes me uncomfortable. And I've had so many good days too.

Yeah, I do think I could have some sort of OCD, but I really don't know if my sort of issue would fit.

Ugh, I'm so confused. Lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Sandy2016 For me, the Internet in general is/was the problem....not just social media. (the elder of the group is going to retell her story again...so you youngsters go grab a cold drink or something and come back after I catch @Sandy2016 up with my sad tale.)  I've had the same CO for just over 49 years.  Obviously, 45-49 years ago, there was no Internet, no social media, and I was happy as a clam.  Teen magazines told a PR lie, they said my CO was single; I believed it.  It wasn't until I decided to check him out on Internet 3 years ago that I learned the truth (devastating blow, horrible pain, felt very much betrayed.) I didn't learn the truth on social media.  I found a chapter in a book by digging down to the 12th or 13th page of a Google search of his name (I have OCD and was persistent; that's what I got for it.)  I would have preferred to go on believing the lie.  If not for the Internet, I would never have learned the truth because my CO is no longer someone that magazines would write about. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@buttermybiscuit 

I'm sorry that happened, but don't let one speed bump ruin your whole routine.  You've been doing very well (and congratulations for that!)  Everyone stumbles now and then, even after a good string of days or weeks.  The important thing is to get right back up.  You can do it, and you know you can. You've done it before!  Good luck going forward, and come in for support if you need to....we're walking this road together. 

:hugs:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm new to the forum, but I've read through multiple pages of others' experiences and it seems like I may have finally found the right place. Just to give you a little insight into my "normal" life, I'm a digital artist and have 2 dogs with my fiance. We've been together for almost 8 years, and considering my habit of obsessing over celebrities, we have a generally healthy relationship. We enjoy normal activities (going to the movies, concerts, going out to dinner, etc.), and we're still intimate on a regular basis, so my obsessive behavior hasn't completely taken over. I've even told him about my obsessions in the past in an effort to stay completely open and honest, but I always ended up feeling like telling him about something so silly was a mistake. That's why I haven't told him about my most recent CO, and I'm not sure I will. I'm confident that this obsession (nor any other) has nothing to do with my fiance since I've been this way for about as long as I can remember, but I don't want him to feel like he's not enough to make me happy or that he's done something wrong. He treats me very well, better than I deserve, and I truly love him. My obsessions never really bothered me until I was first with him and realized that it could have a negative effect on our relationship. Annoyed my friends yes, but I'd never considered it a problem until then. The thing is... I've had so many obsessions that I'm concerned about my mental health. I want to be with my fiance, and while I've been attracted to some (but not all) of my CO's, I've never actually wanted to be with them. I feel as though I still have a firm grip on reality and the disruption to my real life is minimal, so I have some hope. I've just had such a wide range of obsessions that I don't know what to think. From athletes to musicians to actors (one of which I was so obsessed with that I dreamt about multiple times and foolishly told my fiance about) and now my current, secret CO... I started watching his show because of the music and guest stars (and my best friend talked me into it.) I watched the entire series with my fiance in a matter of months and I was actually proud of myself for not being attracted to any of the characters because so many other women my age certainly are. So I developed a bit of an obsession with the show, but that wasn't particularly alarming because I rarely find TV shows that I don't lose interest in almost immediately, so it seemed like a good thing. Unfortunately, in the past couple months, I've caught my mind wandering and started noticing more and more how attractive he is. And let me tell you, it's been a long couple of months because  I've done plenty of YouTubing, researching, and watching anything I can get my hands on. I have no delusions about being with him because I'm in a mostly normal, happy relationship. And my CO is married, which doesn't really affect me. I don't feel jealousy or anything like that. I don't feel the need to run away and meet him. But I do feel like I spend an unhealthy amount of time watching his movies, TV shows, etc. It's usually when my fiance is at work or something, so I feel that it's definitely a distraction of sorts, and the frequency that I feel the need to watch or Google him increases when I'm stressed, angry, or upset. And now that I've bored you all to death with my lengthy post, I guess what I'm looking for in this forum is help. Help to understand my obsessive behavior. Help knowing if this is something that I need to stop. And most importantly, how to handle things with my fiance. Do I tell him and try to explain? Or do I keep it to myself because although I'm attracted to my CO, I don't feel like it's damaging my real life relationship because it's fairly innocent and attraction is the only feeling I have for my obsession?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome @dazedandconfused1 I didn't find your post boring at all! I sitting here thinking, as I'm reading your story, that what you have is a very normal life -- you sound happy to be where you are, you have a good life, and your only "problem" is you get obsessed with actors and/or athletes, but not even to the point of getting jealous or wanting to run away with them. I think I'm jealous of you!! ?

If I were in your shoes, I think I'd keep this to myself. Why rock the boat? You're not doing anything harmful. I really don't think you're doing anything out of the ordinary...you're doing what those of us in this thread do, but we've taken it to an extreme that I don't think you have. For us, the celebrities we obsess over take the place of a significant other in our lives...at least that's how it feels for me. (I don't want to speak for anyone else.)

If I were you, I wouldn't worry about what you're doing unless it becomes a problem for your fiancé (it probably won't if you don't tell him anything.) 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I appreciate your kindness, @Audrey822. I realize that my situation isn't as severe as some other members on the forum are experiencing, I just wanted to put my story out there and try to make some sense of things. I'm afraid that my fiancé is eventually going to catch on. I talk about the show quite a lot because I can't help myself, and I talk about my CO quite a bit more than any other actor/character. And I assure you, there's nothing to be jealous of. My mind is in a strange place a lot of the time. ? 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome @dazedandconfused1 - I think you sound quite similar to me. I have been married for 11 years and have had various COs in that time, although none have hit me as hard as my current one. My husband has no idea at all. I don't want to tell him, partly because I don't think he'd really understand and also because I don't want to hurt him, I don't want him to feel he's somehow lacking. Slightly differently though, my husband is a big fan of the show my CO is on and so for me to talk about him and watch the show is OK to do around him without him getting suspicious. 

I agree with Audrey, it sounds as if you're in a really good place with this and as long as that is the case, I am all for enjoying the obsession.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

So I took a (big for me) step this morning - I stopped following a bunch of my COs fans on Twitter. I know this sounds like a minor thing but it feels big right now. I followed them because I thought it might help me feel normal, that other people like him, or it might provide some bit of info, some pic I haven't seen yet. But all it provides me with is stress as they pretty much try and get his attention all the time and get all dramatic if he doesn't like or respond to their tweets for a few days. I cannot deal with that, I get angry that they are so attention seeking but then also jealous because he has noticed them in the past and that is what I long for. 

So I unfollowed them and now I have massive fear of missing out. I feel like the world's most pathetic 39 year old.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@perfectcircle77 I agree... We do have a bit in common. And my fiancé enjoys the show my CO is on as well, so some talking about it is no big deal. I just feel like he's eventually going to notice that I talk about my CO more than anyone or anything else from the show. It's terrifying to me that I might hurt the man I love because of the weird way that my mind works. I do think that having an outlet (such as this forum) could be a tremendous help to me, so that I don't have to bother my fiancé with it. Seeing so many people that are in similar situations... Some better, some worse... And reading so many posts that I can relate to has already made me think that there's hope that I can manage this, but it's also causing me to start rationalizing it a little bit and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. Also, congrats on unfollowing some of your CO's fans. It's a big step, whether it lasts or not. I was in the same boat with a former CO a few years ago. I struggled with Twitter in particular. Eventually I did get over that obsession,  but unfortunately, it was mostly due to the fact that he cheated on his pregnant wife with multiple women and I decided that he was a terrible person. Lol.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 hours ago, Audrey822 said:

@Sandy2016 For me, the Internet in general is/was the problem....not just social media. (the elder of the group is going to retell her story again...so you youngsters go grab a cold drink or something and come back after I catch @Sandy2016 up with my sad tale.)  I've had the same CO for just over 49 years.  Obviously, 45-49 years ago, there was no Internet, no social media, and I was happy as a clam.  Teen magazines told a PR lie, they said my CO was single; I believed it.  It wasn't until I decided to check him out on Internet 3 years ago that I learned the truth (devastating blow, horrible pain, felt very much betrayed.) I didn't learn the truth on social media.  I found a chapter in a book by digging down to the 12th or 13th page of a Google search of his name (I have OCD and was persistent; that's what I got for it.)  I would have preferred to go on believing the lie.  If not for the Internet, I would never have learned the truth because my CO is no longer someone that magazines would write about. 

I would have loved to be around or growing up 49 years ago, I absolutely idolize the 70s. The clothes, the music, how everything seemed to be so much easier. I don't know if it's something only my generation does (i'm in my 30s now) or if it's something that everybody goes through. I would literally love to have a time machine, I'd go back in time and never return here. 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

4 hours ago, dazedandconfused1 said:

I'm new to the forum, but I've read through multiple pages of others' experiences and it seems like I may have finally found the right place. Just to give you a little insight into my "normal" life, I'm a digital artist and have 2 dogs with my fiance. We've been together for almost 8 years, and considering my habit of obsessing over celebrities, we have a generally healthy relationship. We enjoy normal activities (going to the movies, concerts, going out to dinner, etc.), and we're still intimate on a regular basis, so my obsessive behavior hasn't completely taken over. I've even told him about my obsessions in the past in an effort to stay completely open and honest, but I always ended up feeling like telling him about something so silly was a mistake. That's why I haven't told him about my most recent CO, and I'm not sure I will. I'm confident that this obsession (nor any other) has nothing to do with my fiance since I've been this way for about as long as I can remember, but I don't want him to feel like he's not enough to make me happy or that he's done something wrong. He treats me very well, better than I deserve, and I truly love him. My obsessions never really bothered me until I was first with him and realized that it could have a negative effect on our relationship. Annoyed my friends yes, but I'd never considered it a problem until then. The thing is... I've had so many obsessions that I'm concerned about my mental health. I want to be with my fiance, and while I've been attracted to some (but not all) of my CO's, I've never actually wanted to be with them. I feel as though I still have a firm grip on reality and the disruption to my real life is minimal, so I have some hope. I've just had such a wide range of obsessions that I don't know what to think. From athletes to musicians to actors (one of which I was so obsessed with that I dreamt about multiple times and foolishly told my fiance about) and now my current, secret CO... I started watching his show because of the music and guest stars (and my best friend talked me into it.) I watched the entire series with my fiance in a matter of months and I was actually proud of myself for not being attracted to any of the characters because so many other women my age certainly are. So I developed a bit of an obsession with the show, but that wasn't particularly alarming because I rarely find TV shows that I don't lose interest in almost immediately, so it seemed like a good thing. Unfortunately, in the past couple months, I've caught my mind wandering and started noticing more and more how attractive he is. And let me tell you, it's been a long couple of months because  I've done plenty of YouTubing, researching, and watching anything I can get my hands on. I have no delusions about being with him because I'm in a mostly normal, happy relationship. And my CO is married, which doesn't really affect me. I don't feel jealousy or anything like that. I don't feel the need to run away and meet him. But I do feel like I spend an unhealthy amount of time watching his movies, TV shows, etc. It's usually when my fiance is at work or something, so I feel that it's definitely a distraction of sorts, and the frequency that I feel the need to watch or Google him increases when I'm stressed, angry, or upset. And now that I've bored you all to death with my lengthy post, I guess what I'm looking for in this forum is help. Help to understand my obsessive behavior. Help knowing if this is something that I need to stop. And most importantly, how to handle things with my fiance. Do I tell him and try to explain? Or do I keep it to myself because although I'm attracted to my CO, I don't feel like it's damaging my real life relationship because it's fairly innocent and attraction is the only feeling I have for my obsession?

If you're having fun with it, and it doesn't hurt anybody (or yourself) then what's the problem? 

I would say just keep a close eye on things. That's how it started for me, just watching stuff and interviews and passing time and looking at photos and soon enough I found myself at 4 in the morning crying because my CO followed some girl on instagram. As long as you keep it fun, and keep it easy going, then there's no harm. Just.... make sure it doesn't get to a place where it starts making you feel bad. Because that's when you will have a problem. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, perfectcircle77 said:

So I took a (big for me) step this morning - I stopped following a bunch of my COs fans on Twitter. I know this sounds like a minor thing but it feels big right now. I followed them because I thought it might help me feel normal, that other people like him, or it might provide some bit of info, some pic I haven't seen yet. But all it provides me with is stress as they pretty much try and get his attention all the time and get all dramatic if he doesn't like or respond to their tweets for a few days. I cannot deal with that, I get angry that they are so attention seeking but then also jealous because he has noticed them in the past and that is what I long for. 

So I unfollowed them and now I have massive fear of missing out. I feel like the world's most pathetic 39 year old.

Actually, I think it is the smartest move. For the record - I don't have twitter, never had, never even understood how this thing works. In my country it's not that common so at least I have that to be thankful for. 

And think of it as the first step, unfollowing them. You can always follow back, so what do you have to lose? just try, at most you will give up and follow those fans again. That's actually what I told myself when I stopped smoking, I didn't go all out on "I'll never smoke again" or "this is the last one", I just said "ok, let's try it. if it doesn't go well I can always start again, so what do I have to lose?"

I think the most important thing is to not be hard on yourself and to not make promises or commitments (that you may not keep). Just go into it in a "yeah I'll try, if it's too hard I can always go back" mentality.

 

BTW, I stopped smoking in December 2014. Still going strong. (minus two cigarettes I managed to sneak in during those 2 years)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Sandy2016 said:

I would have loved to be around or growing up 49 years ago, I absolutely idolize the 70s. The clothes, the music, how everything seemed to be so much easier. I don't know if it's something only my generation does (i'm in my 30s now) or if it's something that everybody goes through. I would literally love to have a time machine, I'd go back in time and never return here. 

 

 

Me too. ❤️ But not quite the 70s. It would forever be 1967, and time would never move (I'd want to be about 10-12 years older than I was at the time though...and I'd like to see a little into what my future was going to be like so I'd make better choices right then and there. And if the universe could grant me just two more wishes, I'd like be in the same city where my CO was, and I'd like him to be single and available.) Am I asking for too much? ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, Sandy2016 said:

Actually, I think it is the smartest move. For the record - I don't have twitter, never had, never even understood how this thing works. In my country it's not that common so at least I have that to be thankful for. 

And think of it as the first step, unfollowing them. You can always follow back, so what do you have to lose? just try, at most you will give up and follow those fans again. That's actually what I told myself when I stopped smoking, I didn't go all out on "I'll never smoke again" or "this is the last one", I just said "ok, let's try it. if it doesn't go well I can always start again, so what do I have to lose?"

I think the most important thing is to not be hard on yourself and to not make promises or commitments (that you may not keep). Just go into it in a "yeah I'll try, if it's too hard I can always go back" mentality.

 

BTW, I stopped smoking in December 2014. Still going strong. (minus two cigarettes I managed to sneak in during those 2 years)

Congrats on your continuing success without cigarettes!! ? For me, it's been 29 years...I had tried and failed so many times in the 80s, and was approaching my longest record ever when I was forced to keep going because I'd gotten pregnant. By the time I got through that, I didn't even think about smoking anymore. 

I'm like you about Twitter. I have an account, but I rarely use it. When I do, it's usually to get information on a real-time news event from the point of view of those who are there....that's about it. I follow a few athletes, but I don't check in on them every day or even every week. I don't think I "get" Twitter for daily social media use. LOL

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Sandy2016 I appreciate your input. I wish I could just take everyone's advice and just have fun with it, but I feel so guilty. I'm not at the point of depression or anything like some are, but I feel bad because I'm keeping a secret. My rationalization is that most men (my fiancé included) look at porn, so why shouldn't I be able to look at my CO? Probably not a very healthy outlook, huh? Anyway, congrats,on your continued success kicking such an addictive habit. If you can stop smoking, I have no doubt that you can achieve anything you want to! ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

After reading your post again,@dazedandconfused1 it's got me thinking, this is what my life would look and feel like if I weren't living a double life in my head. 

I'm analyzing the difference between my the way I approach my two favorite artists: one being the band my CO is in, and the other being Earth, Wind & Fire. ? ?? It could very easily be said that I'm totally obsessed with both. But obsessed in a totally different way. My husband knows I'm a fan of both, but he probably thinks I'm more obsessed with EWF than my CO's band. And if we're comparing the 2 bands, that might be true. I don't mind saying at this point that my CO's contribution to his band, (along with one other song) is their main appeal for me now. I probably would have totally forgotten about them if not for him because I don't listen to their other music anymore, and I did admit to walking out on one of their concerts when my CO wasn't on stage with them in 1995. So yeah...it's all about my CO with his band, but my husband hasn't figured that out. ???

I became a fan of EWF in 1975 when I heard their song "Shining Star" but I became obsessed in  1978 when I heard "Fantasy" and I bought the album "All 'N All." I've been to many more of their concerts than my CO's band, even traveled across 3 states to see them. I could tell so many stories about them, there's no denying I'm definitely obsessed with EWF too...but the stark difference with this obsession is that there is ZERO jealousy. I belong to 2 EWF Facebook Fan groups, one of the groups includes band member Verdine White's wife (she's now my FB friend ?) and a few of band member Philip Bailey's children some of whom have also accepted my friend requests. ?Also included in the group are several personal friends of former founding member Maurice White (RIP ?) The pictures from the family members and stories other fans tell of meeting them don't bother me at all...I enjoy all of that. I especially enjoy Maurice's friends' stories. I can't even say how many tears I've cried reading things like that since February when he passed away. It's so different from my experience in the fan group of my CO's band where I'm holding my breath NOT to read things like that. 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@Audrey822 It's interesting how some obsessions can affect us so differently to other ones. I've already mentioned here that I used to have obsessions with TV and book series before my COs started, which did cause me quite a lot of pain on a few occasions. The worst time was around the age of 10, when I was crazy about a particular TV series and one of its female characters (I liked to imagine myself as being her). When she left the show, I was actually devastated for several weeks. I tried to carry on watching the series I had once loved so much, but I gave up after one or two more seasons because without "my" character in it, I felt "left out". I was an odd child!

However, although I still have regular obsessions with books, TV shows, musical artists/bands, etc., they don't cause me any sort of pain at all these days (that's exclusively CO territory now).They're just healthy obsessions, if there is such a thing. I suppose that's the stage I want to get to with my CO (realistically speaking obviously - ideally I'd be at a very different stage with him!) Pain-free obsessions that don't completely take over the obsessor's life can only be a positive thing in my opinion. It certainly sounds like your EWF obsession is a very positive thing for you. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@buttermybiscuit 

 

Ugh, I'm sorry that happened :( I've had many a night like that. And I know what you mean about intrusive topics too. I have my own. I have OCD and it affects me in so many more ways than I've talked about here. Excessive ruminating over and worrying about my life, my problems, my future etc. There's a normal amount of worrying that everyone experiences, and then there's obsessive thinking that takes over and overpowers you. Recurring intrusive thoughts usually cause the latter, and these thoughts can easily be triggered by seemingly "innocent" external stimuli. I wish I had more advice but all I can say is, don't beat yourself up over one setback. You have to somehow fight the urge to release that obsessive energy that's building up inside of you, as impossible as it seems. Just remember that it's not impossible. The energy will go away on its own, eventually. It'll come back, but you just have to sit with it again until it goes away. Every second that you're not googling is an achievement and a step in the right direction. Be proud of yourself!

Edited by posie_riot
Link to comment
Share on other sites

@dazedandconfused1 Welcome! :smile:  I have to agree with the others here - your obsession doesn't come across to me as problematic. I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about either. It's normal to crush on celebrities, and we're living in an age now where, thanks to the internet, it's beyond easy to indulge in a celebrity crush. If you like someone, it makes sense that you'd want to find out more information about them, watch YouTube videos, etc. I know you said that you use this celebrity as a distraction for dealing with stress, but I think that's relatively normal too. It's a distraction because it's fun and stress-free. The real issues start when the obsession begins to cause you stress and you can't stop. As @Sandy2016 pointed out though, you do have to be careful. It can be a slippery slope if you're feeling unsatisfied in your real life in a major way and are using the CO as a fix. But if you have no jealousy, and this is fun for you, I wouldn't worry. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

12 hours ago, perfectcircle77 said:

So I took a (big for me) step this morning - I stopped following a bunch of my COs fans on Twitter. I know this sounds like a minor thing but it feels big right now. I followed them because I thought it might help me feel normal, that other people like him, or it might provide some bit of info, some pic I haven't seen yet. But all it provides me with is stress as they pretty much try and get his attention all the time and get all dramatic if he doesn't like or respond to their tweets for a few days. I cannot deal with that, I get angry that they are so attention seeking but then also jealous because he has noticed them in the past and that is what I long for. 

So I unfollowed them and now I have massive fear of missing out. I feel like the world's most pathetic 39 year old.

It's not minor at all...congrats!! I went through the same thing. Avoiding my CO's fans was the first step in the right direction that I made, as they were a toxic influence on me for various reasons. You're not pathetic. I can tell those other fans probably are though :rolleyes: All you're missing out on is stress. Remind yourself of that. You're on to better things! 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@posie_riot All of these replies to my posts have actually made me feel a little better. When it's me rationalizing it, it's hard to tell if it's okay or not because of course I'll take my own side. But when people in similar situations point out why I probably shouldn't spend so much time worrying, it carries a lot more weight. As I said before, I think just having somewhere to turn when something happens or I'm feeling bad about it and need to talk it through will make it a lot easier on me. And obviously if I can help anyone else with anything they're dealing with, I'm happy to do that, too. Having somewhere to talk openly is something that I've never had concerning a CO. 

And @OpalP25, I think we have a lot of similar behaviors regarding obsession. I've been through it with books, bands, movies, TV shows, etc. as well, all with varying degrees of obsession. It's just something you can never get used to because it's different every time.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I've made a step in trying to overcome my anxiety.

Off to college for a few hours a week doing Functional Skills Maths and GCSE English. 

When I was at school, my anxiety stopped me doing my exams (or at least getting a decent/useful result in them), I only managed about 2 months when I attempted college 3 years ago.

I start Monday and go in 2 times a week!

I am really excited to attempt to do this properly this time! :smilingteeth:

 

I know this isn't particularly related to having a CO but I sort of expect it to take them out of my head for a few hours a week. Though right now both of them appear to be going through a bit of a lull. They've both gone rather minor at the moment, I expect them to ramp back up again soon though. I watch my recent CO on TV more than my older one because I am still overly obsessed with one of his shows more than my older one at the moment. My daydreaming isn't all that much at the moment either but they become a lot bigger when I'm having anxious periods and I pretend that my CO is helping me through them. But they do still happen when I'm just randomly watching TV and I feel the need to get up and act it all out.

 

Another little random thing is that I came across an idea on Tumblr. I came across this picture recently of my recent CO holding up a piece of paper saying 'Breathe'. It was for a mental health charity based in Ireland and the persons Tumblr post said that when they feel anxious, they look at the picture and just imagine him telling them to "Breathe".

So whenever I feel anxious, I try and look at this picture and imagine it in my head too and try and breathe. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...