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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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28 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

Watching TV....which I hardly ever do...and someone on the show mentions my CO's name unexpectedly. I feel sick :(

 

26 minutes ago, posie_riot said:

*puts on headphones* ...time to tune out the world

(((hugs))) I'm here for a few minutes if you need to talk. 

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Blimey! I've finally worked out how to post that video.!

Hoping some else enjoys it if only to validate my CO.

It's not even anywhere near one if my favourites but it is appropriate as it is about a fantasy love.

The time I have spent awake working out how to do this when I  need to go to sleep as I have a big day at work tomorrow is "so" worth it.

Hyperventilating and about to press send...

 

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@Audrey822 Thanks :) I'll be alright. One side effect that I knew would occur if I tried avoiding him is that seeing him pop up out of nowhere is particularly painful. That's the price I'll be paying. 

Never really thought I'd say this to someone, but I hope it rains all day for you tomorrow :hugs:

Edited by posie_riot
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Thanks Audrey and I don't mind doing it as its a comfort to me.   Don't worry if you don't want to show and say what your OC is as its up to you.  I only did it for myself hoping that someone would give me some sound advice and I got some good positive feedback on it and that its okay as lots of people especially with depression and anxiety go through this as a way of coping and that's my reason for it.  

I'll always be here for you to give you any advice that you may need in times of trouble.   I was looking up this OC issue online and found an article of a woman in her 60's who has a stuffed animal which she carries , sleeps with and she's been doing it since she was a wee , small girl.    So millions of people do this and its okay.    I thought that I was the only one and it felt embarrassing to do it and if someone caught me doing it and now knowing others go through it I feel so much better with my OC issue.    I thank you for that.   All of you in this thread.    It means so much to me.

 

 

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@LibraLady1962 What you said about the woman and the stuffed animal reminds me of the TLC show "My Strange Addiction". I swear, I relate to those people. I connect with them in a way. I remember one episode in particular where there was this man who was in love with various inflatable animals that he purchased. As weird as that sounds, his obsession made sense to me. 

There is this episode too. I'm especially interested in what she says from 1:10 onwards. 

 

 

Interesting enough, my own obsessive behaviour started early in life. It began with a blanket, which then morphed into an obsession with a stuffed cat. I know that probably sounds like normal behaviour for a child but you must understand...I was freaking obsessed. There was major anxiety attached to it. One time my dad drove me over an hour to my grandparents' house and as it turned out, we forgot "Bobby" (my blanket) at home. My dad dropped me off, drove all the way back home, got the blanket, and then brought it back up to my grandparents' house. I don't even think he hesitated. The understanding was that I'd have a nervous breakdown without that blanket. It went everywhere. It became part of my identity. Everyone knew about Bobby. When I became obsessed with a stuffed cat at age 7 or 8, I pretended that the cat "understood" me. I pretended that when I was going through hard times and feeling sad, the cat was also feeling sad. It felt everything I did. Family members still ask about that cat ("Do I still have it?" Answer: Yes). I imagine that a psychologist would have a field day with this. My CO is basically that stuffed cat all over again, to put it as simply as possible. 

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@posie_riot I didn't experience what you did as a child but I get it.

I think some of us are just born with addictive/oobsessive personalities. You've made me reflect on my personality generally. I definitely get obsessed with minor things to a ridiculous degree. For example, after the Brexit vote I was obsessed with what people had to say about it on social media. Personally I felt furious about the outcome and kept feeding that fury in an unhealthy way. I had one friend who voted pro and I couldn't even bring myself to ring her. Looking back I can see how ridiculous that was.

So my current CO is more enjoyable than that!

Anyway, now I have to go and pretend to be a functioning human being for the day (after one more quick YouTube fix, obviously). To make things harder, today I'm re-starting my diet (which means I get to be obsessed with how many calories in a packet of Quavers).

Have as good a day as you can, everyone,  and try to find something in the day which brings you joy and is " normal."

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@Miss Pedantic What you said describes me as well. I get obsessive about my beliefs sometimes and can become quite furious over nothing (although the Brexit outcome certainly is not nothing!). I get anxious when someone I like has a different view than me on something that I think is important. I really do feel it as anxiety, which is probably a bit odd. I have to routinely tell myself to let it go and that it's not a big deal, otherwise I'd be unfollowing people on Twitter left and right :laugh: 

Have a good day at work today and eat all the Quavers :smile: (had to google those...they look delicious)

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@posie_riot You never know, maybe you will have the opportunity to meet your CO one day. Those sorts of "gut feelings" that something will happen often turn out to be right. I'm a big believer in trusting one's intuition!

I hope so too that I can see my CO again in better circumstances. Ideally I'd like to see him this November, but university's going to get in the way of that (how annoying)! As to how I'd act if ever got the chance to meet him, I dread to think... Of course I imagine myself being very charming and alluring lol, but in reality I just know I'd turn bright red and forget how to speak. Very attractive - not! Still, you're right, he'd probably prefer that to being stalked at the airport!

I laughed at what you wrote about your CO's fans seeing him as the second Jesus. The fans of mine aren't so bad as that, but like you, I see a big difference between them and myself. Actually, just today one of them wrote something like: "Of course I'd love to date him but I'm realistic. When he finds someone, I'll be really happy for him." Whereas I could never be happy for him if he was with anyone except me. Which makes me feel a bit mean, because he deserves someone much better than me... but all the same, I don't think anyone else could love him as much as I do. I suppose that's why we're here, and those other fans aren't. What you said about the attraction being all too real for you is so relatable...

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@Miss Pedantic I'm another one who can be a bit obsessive about their beliefs. Don't worry, I was mad as h*ll about the Brexit vote too (I actually had a bit of a rant on here when it first happened), and I think we have every right to be angry about it!

One thing I haven't mentioned on here is that I also have a huge obsession with the country my CO comes from, and I'd like to live there one day (when I marry him lol). I love visiting it and I think I'd fit in much better there than in British society. The latest thing I've been quite annoyed about is the British media constantly bashing this country and dismissing its culture, values and political system. But you're right that it's not healthy to get too upset about these things, and it's best to just let it go!

Good luck with your diet (I'm also trying to be more healthy at the moment, and failing a bit lol). Hope you have a great day too! :)

 

Edited by OpalP25
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@Audrey822 Hope you're feeling okay today. Remember to do something nice for yourself to take your mind off things. xxx

By the way I think writing a blog is an amazing idea! It's so important to have more information out there on this subject, because there's really nothing worth reading about it on the internet at the moment, except for this thread. I found one book about celebrity obsession on Google, but the bits available to read seemed to just be a long description of the author's own COs. Which isn't really helpful, except for any people who share one of those COs! If you do decide to start the blog, I'd be more than happy to put some input in (if you want me to of course). :)

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@Miss Pedantic @posie_riot @OpalP25 The obsessive, addictive behavior patterns all of you are describing, I have them too...it's OCD. People tend to think of someone with OCD as that person who washes their hands 100x a day, or can't leave the house without checking to see if the stove is turned off 20x, and checking that the door is locked 15x. It's that, too...but it's also what we do. Ruminating on things, becoming so obsessed with certain things that those things almost become a part of you (for me, and forever, it was my football team, the Dallas Cowboys. I can't divorce myself from them. Everyone who knows me in real life associates them with me, and me with them, and I get teased mercilessly when they have a bad season. Like now.) 

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@posie_riot....omg! That is sooo me! I was thinking about what you said about the blanket and the stuffed animal. What can I say? It´s true...that IS me! I had an imaginary friend when I was a kid. It started when I was like 3 or something. my parents thought it was cute. They kind of supported me in this behavior. He (everyone called him a "he" although in my head it originally started with a girl....) felt the same things I felt. And when we went somewhere, my parents asked me if he was there too, if he had fun... and things like that. Later I had stuffed animals and I played with them, like they are real animals. it wasn´t always the same animal, but I always had at least one with me. My father always fed it (like you can see it in the video) and spoke for the animal, like it was talking to me... it was just fun for him, but I´m not sure if it was good for me.

Maybe later I replaced the imaginary friend and those stuffed animals with my CO. actually the person inside my head, the person I dream about, has always been the same, with the same personality, only his looks are different with every new CO. I had a few COs in my life. Looking back their behavior and personality has always been the same in my fantasies. I guess the reason why I am so disappointed in my CO right now, is that his true personality is so different from what it was like in my fantasy world. Ok and he did some really stupid things too....
 

@OpalP25 speaking of gut feelings....Yep! I totally agree with you. My intuitions have always been right, especially concerning my CO!

I think it´s "normal" to be a little obesses with the country or city your CO comes from. I´ve been to "his" city too and I felt very much at home there. Also it´s undeniable that it´s a beautiful city, I don´t know if i would have the same feelings for it if he wasn´t from there...

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5 hours ago, posie_riot said:

Have a good day at work today and eat all the Quavers :smile: (had to google those...they look delicious)

@Miss Pedantic I had to Google Quavers too (especially after the above endorsement!) They do look good...wish we had them here! Good luck on your diet, and have a good day at work today! 

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2 hours ago, OpalP25 said:

 

One thing I haven't mentioned on here is that I also have a huge obsession with the country my CO comes from, and I'd like to live there one day (when I marry him lol). 

 

Yes, me too. I have always wanted to visit New York but I have become way more obsessed with this since discovering my CO. I now follow blogs and Instagram feeds that have photos of the city. My best friend and I have talked about going to NY together in the next couple of years (she does not yet know about my CO) and I think about it loads. 

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1 hour ago, perfectcircle77 said:

@Audrey822 - thinking of you today, hoping it rains all day for you. I shall be on and off here all day if you want to talk xx

Thank you... :hugs:It's sunny right now, but that doesn't matter.  Thunderstorms are in the afternoon and early evening forecast. That's when I'll need them the most. ⛈

I started writing the outline for a story last night. I'm going to write the story today. This, being my project for the day, will help a lot

This one is a bit strange...it would have to qualify for the sci-fi genre (maybe.) I'm not sure if the correct terminology for this is "time warp" because I'm not a big fan of sci-fi stuff, my only experience with the genre was the show Fringe, which I loved (I won't spoil it for anyone who hasn't seen it, but it caught my attention when my son was watching when he still lived at home; I had to go back and watch from the beginning. Those familiar with it might figure out why I liked that one so much. ?)

Anyway, in this story, time does some weird things.... as I've always wished, we get to time-travel back to 1967. I don't know if this is accurate, but I'm writing it in anyway: his time with #1 is coming to an end, and he will not have met #2 yet (and in this story, he never will) so he's available. And I am going to find him. But as I've said 1000x before, there was one problem...one big major illegal problem in reality in 1967: I was 11 years old. Well, no longer in this story! Problem solved, because I will come across some kind of magic potion, the sort of thing Alice found to make her (temporarily) bigger and smaller in that story. The potion I find will make me permanently 10 years older.  As I said, all problems solved...nothing standing in my way now. Today will be the day I write the story that makes my dream come true (my alter ego won't feel betrayed by that.)

1 hour ago, OpalP25 said:

@Audrey822 Hope you're feeling okay today. Remember to do something nice for yourself to take your mind off things. xxx

By the way I think writing a blog is an amazing idea! It's so important to have more information out there on this subject, because there's really nothing worth reading about it on the internet at the moment, except for this thread. I found one book about celebrity obsession on Google, but the bits available to read seemed to just be a long description of the author's own COs. Which isn't really helpful, except for any people who share one of those COs! If you do decide to start the blog, I'd be more than happy to put some input in (if you want me to of course). :)

Thank you...:hugs:

If I start that blog, I definitely want you to contribute. I just remember a lot of new members said something when they signed up here, and I can vouch for it because I noticed the same thing...that when they searched for help on this subject there was not a lot out there that really "fit" except for this thread. This thread is great, there's no substitute for the support we get here, but there's a lot of good information that takes so long to get to, because it's 300+ pages long by now. I would certainly link to this board on that blog if it happens, too. 

I think I know about the book you're speaking of. The author used to post in this thread during the summer of 2015, if it's who I'm thinking of (it's the only book on the subject I'm aware of.)

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@Audrey822 Hi I hope you're doing ok today! I'll just echo what everyone said about their being so little info out there! I think the blog is a wonderful idea! I'll be happy to contribute!

Well... I'm sinking again. It all seems a bit pointless. Dreams of meeting my CO, looking after myself, exercise, trying to socialise, everything. It is all completely pointless if I can't get a job and right now I'm making no progress towards getting a job. I haven't even started. I've sunk again to wasting most of my time after improving for one day. I've actually done better at avoiding my CO but the problem is that I click on youtube coz I want to watch videos of her and I manage to check myself in time, to force myself not to finish typing in her name or whatever I'm looking for or click on one of the suggestions which is usually of her, but once I'm on youtube I will always end up clicking on something. Or I do the same with social media - I will always end up clicking on something. If I'm slowly replacing CO addiction with general web addiction it doesn't help me. I still think about her a lot anyway.

update: halfway through writing this message I did end up back on all her sites. I then ended up reading through all the messages from guys crushing on her. The hard part is a mixture of the initial reaction plus the resulting shame at the fact this bothers me. How weird would anyone else regard that!? A grown man being bothered that many others crush on the same celeb he does?! I mean half the time I look at her and wonder how anyone in the world (male or female hah!) DOESN'T have a crush on her! She's like a ray on sunshine - lights up anything she's involved in. I have seen a few stalkery messages. That makes me feel worse and she'd be aware of them so it would make her reaction far more negative to my own obsessing. arrgh

But all irrelevant, whether or not I beat addiction, why even try, if I just can't get a job anyway. My best friend came over today. I experienced the only time since getting back when I felt any sort of real happiness about my actual life (i.e. not CO happiness that always leaves me embarrassed afterwards) when he tried out the half finished computer game I've been writing slowly for years and really enjoyed it and kept on asking to play it more and asking me about it! But then he discovered really hard bugs which my weakened mind unable to focus doesn't stand a chance at fixing. He also said when he went on a careers interview years ago and it really didn't help, which I already suspected. Different situation but still - as I said if I can't make steps towards getting a job everything is irrelevant and booking a careers interview is the only step I've made! No use having a good game if I can't finish it, no use having anything if I can't get a job.

@Miss Pedantic hahaha! I loved that video! The end really made it "I... met. a girl"
It's been a while since I watched their show and I haven't watched all episodes but I know exactly what you mean about the irony of being an obsessive fan. I guess I know which character you relate to! Not that they seem to mind her much when they initially get over her craziness, even actually asking her at one point to switch her obsession from one to the other, I think to your CO, when he's feeling low! I guess it's a good show to watch to cheer up those of us who are worried about how our CO's would react.
Also, yes! She's absolutely unforgettable in everything she's been in! And in everything she's in her music will appear somewhere, even if she doesn't play it. Thank you! 

Thanks for your advice also about mental health. I haven't even managed to book a therapists yet. Scared of finding out I can't get help for months because they're always busy and then scared of the process. I find it makes me so self conscious. If I'm feeling better when I go to an appointment I feel as though I shouldn't be because that means I'm just whining - taking up a slot that should go to someone with real problems not just someone who wants to go on and on and on about their celebrity crush like a teenager. I have a friend who, without going into details, is currently suffering a REAL very very real personal tragedy, and I'm whining about something like this where the solution is simple - turn off the internet and get on with it - but I can't! 

@posie_riot You know it really made me smile the thought of my CO's music helping someone else with their CO. I think I can guess which song too! There is one which is perfectly appropriate! Thank you! 

The buzz I get now that people know who my CO is and have said things about her is amazing! Lifted me up a little when I'm starting to sink again. I was also lifted up by being told I'm not a creep and that you don't think men aren't here just because don't get CO's on the whole. This forum helps in so many different ways! But I will need to tone down response length/frequency again for a bit... I still read everything though.

Also @posie_riot when you said about how much you adore him and how it only makes sense that you should meet - that's exactly how I feel. I love her so much how can I not see her some day? It's like it doesn't even make sense that she doesn't know I exist, the contrast with my own feelings are too great, but then as soon as I leave the meet and greet she will once again not know I exist (I mean - being one fan among so many who she met very briefly is essentially the same as not knowing I exist). 

I wish I had fallen in love with a fictional character, not a real person. With real life crushes though: the fact is that while my life is such a mess I couldn't pursue anyone so I suppose it is better falling for someone truly unobtainable rather than being reminded that the ONLY reason I can't pursue a girl I like and actually know is that my life is such a mess. That'd be a different sort of frustrating and one I don't think I could handle. I guess there are good things to this sort of obsession while we're in our down phases of our lives. Maybe that's why our mind does this to us. Of course none of this is relevant if I can't get a job and the down phase proves to not be a phase but be permanent. 

 

Edited by MysteryName
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@anonym12345 and @perfectcircle77 I'm glad I'm not the only one who obsesses over their CO's country! I've been to the city where my CO lives, and it was an amazing experience - definitely my favourite city in the world. He was actually there at the time, and I was on the lookout for him lol (didn't see him though). My next goal is to visit the region where he originally comes from! 

@perfectcircle77 I really hope you and your friend get to visit NY. It looks like an incredible city!

@Audrey822 I agree that a blog is a better format for viewing all this information - it takes ages to read through this whole thread. And yes, we're definitely thinking of the same book. I had a feeling that the author and a former poster here were one and the same person. Now my suspicions are confirmed lol. I'm sure the book has probably helped some people who have this issue, but the part of it that I read was just a very detailed description of a celebrity and his career. Of course reading about other people's experiences is useful (I've learnt so much from the other people here), but this was more of a piece of writing about the celebrity himself, rather than the author's obsession with him. To be fair though, if I was writing a book about COs, I'd probably end up writing pages and pages of information about my CO too!

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@MysteryName I'm doing surprisingly well (thanks :hugs:).  I think writing this story I'm working on is helping a great deal to keep my mind focused where I want it to be and not where I don't want it to go.  This afternoon about 3-4 p.m. my time will be the real test.  I may have to get out of here -- might be a good time to do the food shopping -- because being home would be too much like it was that day.  Changing the scenery, even if it's a grocery store, will help.  And I hope I'll need to bring the umbrella. ☔️

After I finish this story, I think I will get started at least working on some preliminary introduction for that blog.  And I will welcome input from anyone who wants to contribute.  

The kind of thing I'd like it to focus on:

The introduction would just be to say what we know celebrity obsession is and what it's not.  And to let those who are experiencing it know they're not alone.  That post may also (probably will) include a link to this thread.

Personal stories  (I'm thinking, anyone who wants to contribute can have access to post their story as a separate blog post.)

Causes (why we do this, if you feel there's a reason)

I'd like to cover limerence in a separate blog entry...I think it's relevant, even though for limerence to "qualify" some think you have to actually know the "object of your desire." 

I'd like to cover, in separate blog entries (maybe) maladaptive daydreaming, my experience with having an alter-ego, OCD/obsessive addictive personality traits, personality types prone to this, social anxiety, (I'm not sure that all of these things would be separate entries or if some could be combined with others...brainstorming here.

Positives and negatives when meeting COs

What you should do (distract yourself,  and suggestions for how) when things (searches, or the obsession itself) get out of hand

The ugly side to this...because not that this is us, but there is an ugly side to this, and I think it needs to be addressed because we shouldn't sweep it under the rug:  stalking, violent thoughts -- and actions --  toward COs and the significant others of COs

Add to this if you think of something I'm overlooking.....

 

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