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Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support


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@ddcado,

Meeting a celebrity at a public event isn't really invading his space. If he's willingly meeting fans, then you have just as much right to meet him as any other fan. Of course, you can delete yourself from the interactive part of his fan base if that makes you feel better, but I have a feeling that you are doing it because you somehow feel unworthy. I wish you would reconsider if that's your reason. As for running into his site, you didn't intentionally try to find his personal website, so it isn't your fault. I'm sure that if he's a reasonable person, he would forgive you for seeing his website and realize that he only has himself to blame, (for not hiding it from the public better). You found it by accident and shut it down right away. What more could you do?

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@Seeker you are right that I do feel totally unworthy! No matter how I look ill never be good enough! Im just another number to him.

I'm seriously starting to think about whether I should just let the whole C/O thing go. He used to bring me so much comfort but lately I've been feeling so low about myself and certain aspects of my life that its just making me feel worse! Even my DDs are horrid, always end in rejection. The only thing that is stopping me letting go is there isn't anything else that would fill the void. Hes been in the background of my life for 20 odd years its a long time.

I do still love him to bits that hasn't changed and last night made me think the opposite way of letting him go! I made a right fool of myself! my hubby watches this quite popular tv show and he told me D was in it! He did warn me it wasnt nice how it ended , but I watched it and wished I hadn't because he gets s**t (not sure if i can use that word here) in it, then they show images of him after half covered up! it seemed so real and it was horrible to watch and I cried in front of my hubby who was actually really supportive and just give me a big hug! i know it wasnt real and its super silly because it was filmed months ago and he is very much alive. So I know ill always love this guy!

I'm just so confused right now!!!

Edited by decado
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@decado,

That movie sounds awful! I know I would hate to see something bad happen to my own CO(s) in a movie, but remember it's just a movie. It's nice that your husband was so supportive.

I think it would be best not to try and figure out what you *should* do about you CO at this time. You're still raw from the concert, so give it some time. It's okay if you don't do anything specific about it until you've had some time to heal and process everything.

Edited by Seeker2
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@decado I can only imagine how terrible it must be to see your CO die in a show. Even though they're just acting, it can still be hurtful to watch. I'm glad that your hubby was very supportive, though. It's up to you to decide if you'd feel best about giving up your CO. Do you think that would make you feel better, or do you think it would result in more pain? Also, I'm so sorry that you feel like you'll never be good enough.

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Thank you @Seeker and @Brittasaur for the support! Sorry I'm being a pain!

There is a lot of emotions and stress going on in my head at the moment, about various things. My C/O is normally the one who grounds me, I'm not sure if he is getting caught up in all the other stuff. But you are right about me still struggling since the concert! Don't get me wrong I'm glad I went because it was incredible, but perhaps I should've stayed seated it might not have triggered all these emotions! I honestly don't know at the moment whether life would be easier or harder without my C/O, that's a good question. He's been with me for over 20 years, even when he has a dormant phase, he's still at the back of my mind and something will remind me of him every single day. There has never been a day in all them years that I haven't thought of him even if just for two minutes!

The programme was so awful to watch it was actually Sons of Anarchy! This isn't something I would normally watch, it's a bit much for me! But I gave it a go, the images were very hard to watch because it also showed him with drugs, that was a little much too: as I hate to think of him going through all that stuff when he was younger. even though I know it wasn't real, The image that got me the most was when his cousin bent down to say goodbye and he was all covered up, gosh that was hard.

Anyway I'm sorry I being such a pain lately. Think I'm gonna try and get some help from the doctors!

Edited by decado
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Dear Decano you certainly are going through many emotions. It seems that meeting your CO brought out some of your fears. I agree with Seeker right now you do not have to take any decisions about your CO (let it stay or go).

I do not have any magical tips to give you to cope. I can share with you that when my CO is really bad I try to think that I need to relax, try to have a great life (trying to accomplish something I want) and maybe life will open itself and somehow I will be with my CO one day and he would want a happy woman with him. You have had only one CO I have had many so I also remember previous times when I had similar feelings and remind myself that those feelings are not permanent.

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Therapy has done wonders for me. I feel at peace with myself now. I will never be free of my CO, nor do I want to be, but there is acceptance now of the circumstances for what they are. I used to feel ashamed just as recently as a year ago, before coming here. Thanks to all of you, that's no longer the case.

The biggest and best change is...all anxiety seems to be gone. I'm not rushing through what I need to do, but I am happy to report that last week I felt no anxiety attempting to drive through two "trigger spots" that once caused anxiety for me, and I got through without meds!

I don't know if I mentioned this here yet or not, but a few months ago I wrote out the whole sordid story of what life was like with my mother, and another long bit about my marriage. My therapist said that when I'm ready to put all of that behind me and move forward, I should do something symbolic, like burn the papers. That's exactly what I'm going to do. My mom died on November 14, 2002...,so, on November 14, 2014, I am going to burn all of that and move on. Again, not giving up my CO, but accepting things in my "real" life for what they are, and going forward with a new attitude.

I just needed to say all of that here because if not for finding this thread and all of you, I don't know what would have become of me by now. So, thank you....I love you all!

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Thank you @Alepa for your kind words! It's been very stressful recently! I normally love having my C/O, Im still trying to figure out why it's different now!

I honestly can't image having another C/O, I've had a couple of minor ones over the years but they have come and gone! The only other I had before D was River Phoenix!

D is amazing but he is now a lot more in the public eye than ever before with being a host on a TV show that is currently running and in shows like Sons of Anachry! I realise this is a big clue to who he is but to be honest I'm not that fussed anymore about him or his other fans finding out!

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Audrey I am very happy to read your post. I am glad you are feeling better. I think forgiveness is a big power, the day you burn those pages may bring peace and power to you. The power of feeling that you own your destiny.

I hope you do not leave this thread, but if you do I will understand you. For me also acceptance to the fact that CO is part of whom I am was very liberating, very empowering, that happened early last year, and it open doors to get to know me better.

As I write this, I am in the middle of a party, with a second glass of alcohol. So I may not make any sense. Big hug to you dear Audrey, a toast for you

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It's been about 5 days since I last posted. I've done really good sticking to my goals. I only check the team website, message board and Twitter once a day. I've gotten a ton of work done because I'm not constantly thinking about my crush or refreshing the website. It kind of helps that there hasn't been much news on my crush lately.

In the press conference on Monday, one of the reporters asked the rookie QB about my crush's advice. At first, I was flattered that he was talking about my crush. But that was before I watched the entire press conference. Just about the entire press conference, he went on and on about how helpful the other QB has been - the QB that was injured earlier this year. The only reason he mentioned my crush was because a reporter asked about him. I hate how the rookie seems to completely ignore my crush in interviews. Whenever they ask him which teammates are helping him out, he always mentions the injured QB and rarely mentions my crush. Last weekend, when the announcers said that he couldn't stop talking about my crush, I bet that was because reporters kept asking him questions about him. Ugh! I hope he gets sacked a ton this weekend. Maybe he'll play so badly that my crush will get to play.

The only other news about my crush came today. A local newspaper posted a story about my crush on their website. Basically, they asked my crush if he is going to re-sign with the team next year. The injured QB is signed through next year but his contract pays him starter money. He definitely won't be a starter since the team has the rookie and since his contract is not guaranteed, the team could cut him if they don't want to pay that much money to be a backup. They could re-sign my crush for really cheap and he could be the backup next year. My crush told the newspaper that he has no idea if he is going to re-sign but he will wait until the season is over before deciding what he's going to do. He also said that he wants to be out there playing and he wants to lead the team to a win this year. I hope he gets the chance. It would be awesome if he played well enough to get re-signed with the team. I would love to see him at training camp again next summer.

I'm looking forward to tomorrow - the doughnut club will be posting a pic of my crush plus there will be team travel photos. The team will be traveling to Florida this weekend and I'll be traveling to Florida next weekend. :buttrock:

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Today was awesome!! No, I didn't get to see my crush play but they showed a lot of him on TV which was great. Let's back up. On Saturday, the team posted the weekly donut club picture (apparently it's spelled "donut" and not "doughnut"). That picture was weird. My crush was hugging one of the defensive guys and that guy was feeding him a donut. Talk about strange. That picture was almost as weird as the picture the team posted a few weeks ago where my crush was holding hands with the rookie QB and they were looking into each other's eyes like they were about to kiss or something. Creepy. Anyways, despite the weird pose, my crush looked really good in the donut club pic this week. He was clean shaven and was wearing nice clothes. His wife must be back home and is making him shave and do laundry. That sucks but I really do think my crush looks better when he shaves.

Back to today. The rookie QB was kind of bad but not nearly as bad as the last two weeks. He should have been much, much better because he was playing against the worst defense in the NFL. The team only scored 19 points and the rookie had a ton of passes batted down, overthrown or almost intercepted. The play-by-play announcers were talking about how the team has had 20 quarterbacks in the past 30 years and they mentioned my crush. Then they showed him standing on the sidelines for a minute while the announcers talked about him. I was sitting next to my dad and I totally started smiling when I heard his name and I could tell that I was blushing as soon as they showed him. I tried to look away so my dad wouldn't notice but I'm pretty sure he did. I'm sure he thinks something is up. Why would a woman watch and pay such close attention to a football team? Plus, I get really excited when my crush plays and I'm always talking about how the other QB's are horrible, yet, my crush isn't very good either and I never say anything bad about him. My dad even asked me once why I always defend him when other people criticize him. Yeah, I'm pretty sure my dad knows I have a crush on him. Okay, back to the game. During one series, the rookie QB dumped the ball to the RB well short of the first down line (he did this a lot) and when the rookie came back to the sidelines, my crush started to lecture him. I've never seen him do that before. It was so hot! He was pointing to the field and gesturing as he was talking to the rookie. I'm sure he was telling him not to checkdown for 2 yards when they needed 15 yards. My crush looked so good today! I recorded the game on the DVR and I'm going to re-watch it before I go to bed tonight. I actually got into the game for the first half and forgot to keep an eye out for my crush. LOL! That's why I recorded the game. So I can go back and see if I missed my crush doing anything funny or stupid or interesting. I feel like a stalker when I'm watching his every move on the sidelines though.

Unless something big happens with my crush in the next 3 days, this will probably be my last post for a while. I'm leaving on Wednesday night to go to Miami. I'm going on a 7-day cruise which means I won't get to see my crush play this weekend (I will be recording the game to watch when I get home). I'm going to try not to think about my crush at all while I'm on vacation. Hopefully this two week break from my crush will be enough to make me not as obsessed. I think my obsession is kind of going away a little anyways. I only checked the team website once a day this week which is totally not like me. I used to check it at least once per hour. Maybe this obsession will go away at the end of the football season and I can start focusing on areas of my life that I've neglected.

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Hey All,

Been away for a bit but I'm back. Our play finished it's run and it was AWESOME!!! On our last show one of my lines not only got the biggest laugh but even a bit of applause to go along. I love being on stage! But now it's back to reality. I'm hoping to audition for a couple others soon.

Ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Anyone? That "maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday soon I'm going to learn something I don't want to. I'm going to see an article out of the blue that upsets me and brings all my CO dreams crashing down around me in a heap. Maybe that's my subconscious way of telling myself it's time to let them go?

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Hey All,

Been away for a bit but I'm back. Our play finished it's run and it was AWESOME!!! On our last show one of my lines not only got the biggest laugh but even a bit of applause to go along. I love being on stage! But now it's back to reality. I'm hoping to audition for a couple others soon.

Ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Anyone? That "maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday soon I'm going to learn something I don't want to. I'm going to see an article out of the blue that upsets me and brings all my CO dreams crashing down around me in a heap. Maybe that's my subconscious way of telling myself it's time to let them go?

Congratulations on the play! I'm so happy that you had a good time!

I have that feeling all the time! I'm trying very hard to stay away from the fan base of my C/ O for this reason! I'm doing well so far, just over a week now and it's been hard but I haven't been googling either! I'm still struggling with whether or not to let me C/O go or not? I'm very undecided and I offen wonder whether it's my subconscious telling me that same thing too! So I can relate!

Hope everyone else is ok too! I have just had a meeting with my family worker and I'm taking the steps to now go and see a therapist, so well see how it goes!

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Hey All,

Been away for a bit but I'm back. Our play finished it's run and it was AWESOME!!! On our last show one of my lines not only got the biggest laugh but even a bit of applause to go along. I love being on stage! But now it's back to reality. I'm hoping to audition for a couple others soon.

Ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Anyone? That "maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday soon I'm going to learn something I don't want to. I'm going to see an article out of the blue that upsets me and brings all my CO dreams crashing down around me in a heap. Maybe that's my subconscious way of telling myself it's time to let them go?

I'm glad that you had such an awesome time! It sounds like you had a lot of fun. I get that feeling commonly. It makes me feel miserable. And I even get the same thoughts like, "what if this is just my subconscious telling me to just let go?" Ironically, I was feeling this way all day today, and I was even wondering if anyone here felt the same way. And then I logged on and saw your post, haha. But yes, I definitely understand how you're feeling.

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Hello everyone! :laugh:

I stumbled upon this forum and I started from page one and read many posts. I'm so glad celebrity obsessions aren't that uncommon! I decided to make a account on here so I could post and talk to some of you guys.

I have a pretty unhealthy celebrity obsession myself...but with multiple celebrities. They are all varying levels of obsession and very different from each other. My strongest one right now is one a certain person in a band. I've listened to all of his songs and watched all of his performances and interviews, have tons of posters of him, and have multiple shirts with him on them. He's seventeen years older then me ( :ermm:) and has a girlfriend. I feel crazy even saying this, but I know other people feel the way I do.

It's hard to explain and I know it's irrational, but I feel like I have a otherworldly connection to him. Like the universe has destined for us to be together. I have never met him or been to any of his concerts, so I know it's crazy and he's probably different than he seems. I've tried blocking every thought of him out, taking down all his posters and stop listening to his music, etc. but nothing helps. It just makes me very sad and hopeless.

But I know I need to do something about this obsession. It's causing me to get bad grades and it's ruining my real relationships. I just love him so much and while the thought of him makes me happy, it also distracts me and causes me to be in a constant daydream-y state. I need advice or just someone to talk to. I asked my mom if I could see a therapist and she's thinking about it.

I have very serious jealousy issues. And I have ever since I can remember. Even thinking of him dating his girlfriend makes me feel physically ill. I don't have low self esteem at all. It's more that I feel like I deserve to have him more then his actual girlfriend does. I know it's ridiculous but thinking of him being in a relationship with someone who isnt me makes me feel extremely stressed and sick. :verysad3:

Does anyone have advice or want to talk?

Edited by anchordown
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@anchordown,

Wow! I'm seriously impressed! You started this thread from page one! That is quite amazing! I'm glad you found it so interesting.

It sounds like you're still quite young, so it's actually very normal to have celebrity obsessions/crushes at a young age. I wouldn't worry about it being too unhealthy yet. If you get to be a lot older and you're still having celebrity obsessions, then perhaps it's time to start wondering, lol! I am in my mid 40s and I am still obsessed with celebrities. At the moment I have two, a spiritual guru and a singer. I thought I was over the guru, but I saw him again recently and I realize that I still feel deeply about him. I don't think I will ever get him out of my system. I feel like I have a deep, spiritual connection with him which goes way beyond a normal CO fixation. However, the situation with him makes me so unhappy, so I was trying to distract myself with the singer, but now the singer is starting to cause me a lot of problems as well! I guess there is no real way to solve problems with a CO because COs can never satisfy ones personal needs. So using one CO to solve the problem of another just doesn't work. All you get are two COs and that's twice as bad as one, lol! :)

I don't have any advice for you, except to say that you seem to be in an age range where having a CO isn't really so unusual, (although people can have them at any age). I think you will probably meet someone soon if you keep your heart open. The only advice I can give is to try not to compare everyone else to your CO, which is easy to do sometimes. I've done this myself and I shut down potential dates or good connections because I was so fixated on COs, I wasn't open to anyone else. I would caution you not to go down the same path I did. This is not to say that you don't feel deeply about your CO. I totally understand how that is, but I also think it's possible to meet nice people in real life. They may not be like your CO, but they can be special in their own way.

I can totally relate to the jealousy thing, btw. :) In my case, I'm not just jealous of my CO's significant others, but even other fans who want to meet them and get their attention, etc. I feel like it's some kind of stupid competition and I think I get even more jealous of other fans than I do over CO's spouses, or whoever they are with, etc. I think the only cure for that is to find someone in 'real life' and let go of imagining what a CO is doing with other people, etc. In the meantime, keeping very busy with hobbies and projects also helps. :)

Edited by Seeker2
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Hi Anchordown, nice to meet you!!

I agree with what Seeker said to you! When your younger you can get away with C/O's but it does become a lot harder to explain when you start getting older. I'm 32, married with two kids, so you would think that it would make my C/O go away, but no at the moment he is staying with me stronger than ever before. I know this is because I'm having a lot of stress and emotions from other areas in my life at the moment! He though seems to be causing me more stress aswell. But I can't walk away no matter how hard I've tried over the past two months ever since a saw him in concert that threw up so many emotions that I never thought were possible that I'm still trying to deal with. I have also taken on some new hobbies to try and help, I've taken up horse riding with my eldest and I love it just for half an hour a week I'm D free!!

I understand that it is affecting your life and school which is very important. Have you tried setting time limits for when you could do your day dreaming? This is certainly what I have to do. I work 4 days a week and have a family, so what I try and do is go to bed a bit earlier and then I can have my time to think about D or have a look though my photos on my phone. Or if I'm at work and I'm doing something that Is safe and I can let my mind slip like typing or photocopying I can have a sneeky few minutes! Perhaps you could try at lunchtime or break time, but it is still importantly to make time for your friends and family and it can be hard to find the right balance, but it can be done.

Do you think this Obsession is helping you though certain things in you life? That is what it is like for me! I can't image what it must be like to have multiple C/O's though! I've had a couple of other minor ones during my 20 + years with D but they have only come When he has a dormant phase. but he was always in my mind, even the small things will trigger a thought of him! like being in Tescos and someone would be wearing a top that said Los Angeles, I'd instantly think of him - lol! It's funny the things we do!

I really can relate to you on the otherworldly connection, I believe this too, not so much us being together , but I would love to be his friend! It's heartbreaking that I will never have the opportunity to get to know him in that way. The jealousy thing is always a hard one with C/O's and I'm afraid to say it doesn't get any easier to deal with, if I had a magic wand I'd make sure that none of us felt those awful feelings of jealousy! With my C/O's it's both the other fans and his G/F's because he only picks the Hollywood babes and that's a real kicker, If I could think of a solution to help you, lovely, I would but just remember your not alone and we are all here to help you!

I too am starting therapy soon, so maybe we can work though it together!

Hope everyone else is ok! I have been really embarrassed today when I tried to take a photo on my phone and it said no memory I looked at my photos and I've got almost 1500 photos just of D that is really bad! I hadn't realised I had so many!! Hope no one ever sees my phone!!

Edited by decado
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Hi anchordown and welcome welcome!!!

I can SO relate to the jealousy thing as well. My current CO is an actor and I'm really involved in local theater where I live. I feel like he and I would have so much to talk about. But he's where he is and that is no where near where I am so here I am. It got so bad after I read a story on his new girlfriend that I latched onto another actor which basically gives me two CO's.

We're all here when you need us so come on in, get something to eat or drink, sit down and we'll all do what we can to get all of us through this.

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Hello everyone! :laugh:

I stumbled upon this forum and I started from page one and read many posts. I'm so glad celebrity obsessions aren't that uncommon! I decided to make a account on here so I could post and talk to some of you guys.

I have a pretty unhealthy celebrity obsession myself...but with multiple celebrities. They are all varying levels of obsession and very different from each other. My strongest one right now is one a certain person in a band. I've listened to all of his songs and watched all of his performances and interviews, have tons of posters of him, and have multiple shirts with him on them. He's seventeen years older then me ( :ermm:) and has a girlfriend. I feel crazy even saying this, but I know other people feel the way I do.

It's hard to explain and I know it's irrational, but I feel like I have a otherworldly connection to him. Like the universe has destined for us to be together. I have never met him or been to any of his concerts, so I know it's crazy and he's probably different than he seems. I've tried blocking every thought of him out, taking down all his posters and stop listening to his music, etc. but nothing helps. It just makes me very sad and hopeless.

But I know I need to do something about this obsession. It's causing me to get bad grades and it's ruining my real relationships. I just love him so much and while the thought of him makes me happy, it also distracts me and causes me to be in a constant daydream-y state. I need advice or just someone to talk to. I asked my mom if I could see a therapist and she's thinking about it.

I have very serious jealousy issues. And I have ever since I can remember. Even thinking of him dating his girlfriend makes me feel physically ill. I don't have low self esteem at all. It's more that I feel like I deserve to have him more then his actual girlfriend does. I know it's ridiculous but thinking of him being in a relationship with someone who isnt me makes me feel extremely stressed and sick. :verysad3:

Does anyone have advice or want to talk?

Hi Anchordown,

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down about your celebrity obsessions. I think you are very wise in looking towards getting yourself some therapy - I hope your Mom agrees to it because it may be able to help you a lot.

I don't care what age a person is when they have celebrity obsessions, they can be 15 or they can be 45, if you are feeling the way you are describing, it is not something to be written off as normal or something that you will grow out of. I didn't 'grow out of it'. If I had tried to deal with my obsessions when I was younger then its highly likely I wouldn't be dealing with them still 20 years later. If you let it sit, it will not go away and you will still be dealing with it many years from now - I can guarantee it.

I'm just going to repeat a few of the things you mentioned: "Its causing me to get bad grades"; "it's ruining my real relationships"; "I'm in a constant daydream-y state"; "I have very serious jealousy issues"; "It just makes me feel very sad and hopeless"; "thinking of him dating his girlfriend makes me feel physically ill". If someone you knew said those things to you, how would you feel? Wouldn't you want them to get better so they could be the best person they could be? Maybe take a little time to focus on yourself and ask yourself what kind of person you want to be. Someone who is dealing with obsessions and the negative side effects they bring, or something different. I think it will take effort on your part, but you can make strides in dealing with this if you want to.

PM me if you ever want to talk :-)

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Ever get that feeling in the pit of your stomach? Anyone? That "maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow but someday soon I'm going to learn something I don't want to. I'm going to see an article out of the blue that upsets me and brings all my CO dreams crashing down around me in a heap. Maybe that's my subconscious way of telling myself it's time to let them go?

Yeah, I still get those feelings. I had some last week. I actually want to see some news like that in order to try and shake me from the CO's grip! It's kinda funny, I actually want to be hurt so it will catapult me into getting rid of the CO!

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Hello everyone! :laugh:

I stumbled upon this forum and I started from page one and read many posts. I'm so glad celebrity obsessions aren't that uncommon! I decided to make a account on here so I could post and talk to some of you guys.

I have a pretty unhealthy celebrity obsession myself...but with multiple celebrities. They are all varying levels of obsession and very different from each other. My strongest one right now is one a certain person in a band. I've listened to all of his songs and watched all of his performances and interviews, have tons of posters of him, and have multiple shirts with him on them. He's seventeen years older then me ( :ermm:) and has a girlfriend. I feel crazy even saying this, but I know other people feel the way I do.

It's hard to explain and I know it's irrational, but I feel like I have a otherworldly connection to him. Like the universe has destined for us to be together. I have never met him or been to any of his concerts, so I know it's crazy and he's probably different than he seems. I've tried blocking every thought of him out, taking down all his posters and stop listening to his music, etc. but nothing helps. It just makes me very sad and hopeless.

But I know I need to do something about this obsession. It's causing me to get bad grades and it's ruining my real relationships. I just love him so much and while the thought of him makes me happy, it also distracts me and causes me to be in a constant daydream-y state. I need advice or just someone to talk to. I asked my mom if I could see a therapist and she's thinking about it.

I have very serious jealousy issues. And I have ever since I can remember. Even thinking of him dating his girlfriend makes me feel physically ill. I don't have low self esteem at all. It's more that I feel like I deserve to have him more then his actual girlfriend does. I know it's ridiculous but thinking of him being in a relationship with someone who isnt me makes me feel extremely stressed and sick. :verysad3:

Does anyone have advice or want to talk?

Hi Anchordown,

I'm so sorry you are feeling so down about your celebrity obsessions. I think you are very wise in looking towards getting yourself some therapy - I hope your Mom agrees to it because it may be able to help you a lot.

I don't care what age a person is when they have celebrity obsessions, they can be 15 or they can be 45, if you are feeling the way you are describing, it is not something to be written off as normal or something that you will grow out of. I didn't 'grow out of it'. If I had tried to deal with my obsessions when I was younger then its highly likely I wouldn't be dealing with them still 20 years later. If you let it sit, it will not go away and you will still be dealing with it many years from now - I can guarantee it.

I'm just going to repeat a few of the things you mentioned: "Its causing me to get bad grades"; "it's ruining my real relationships"; "I'm in a constant daydream-y state"; "I have very serious jealousy issues"; "It just makes me feel very sad and hopeless"; "thinking of him dating his girlfriend makes me feel physically ill". If someone you knew said those things to you, how would you feel? Wouldn't you want them to get better so they could be the best person they could be? Maybe take a little time to focus on yourself and ask yourself what kind of person you want to be. Someone who is dealing with obsessions and the negative side effects they bring, or something different. I think it will take effort on your part, but you can make strides in dealing with this if you want to.

PM me if you ever want to talk :-)

@DoggyMama, Are you trying to quote me or make a reference to what I said in my post? I did not say any of that stuff, (in bold), so if that was how you read what I said, then perhaps I wasn't clear enough, or there was a misunderstanding. All I meant to do was reassure her that it is much more 'normal' at a young age and that is was okay to feel that way. I didn't say she should "write it off" or that she'll "grow out of it". Also, I didn't say celebrity obsessions only happened to young people. But is is true that they do happen more often with young people and it is very normal to get celebrity crushes up to the mid twenties. After that, among older people, it isn't (considered) normal, but it can (and does) happen, more often than many people believe. (I am one of them, so I know that people can get COs at any age).

@Everyone in general: If someone does not understand what I meant to say, please do not quote me, or assume anything. ASK me first if you are unclear about my meaning. (I am addressing this to everyone.) I am having a BIG CO problem right now and I am not in a good place!!! I am anxiously planning a trip (and I have no idea if anything about it will work out or not). I am depressed about another CO I was trying to let go of and now my new CO is giving me a different kind of problem that I never anticipated. I don't really want to discuss it at this time. I am signing off for now.

Edited by Seeker2
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Seeker2:

I'm just going to be frank - I think your post clearly intimated that anchordown was young and that celebrity obsessions/crushes when young are normal and therefore she did not have to worry about her celebrity obsession yet. I disagree with that idea, so I stated what I believe to be true: that anchordown was right to look for help so she could try and get over something that is not normal and has many negative side effects (the ones I quoted her telling us about). Crushes and obsessions are two separate things so I believe its not a good idea to lump them into one. Teenagers have crushes and that is normal; obsessions that cause bad grades, physically sick feelings, stress, and constant daydreaming is not. And that is what you highlighted in bold in my post, along with the fact that I said I did not grow out of my obsessions.

Someone coming here and asking for help, saying they think their obsession is unhealthy, and telling people here openly about the pain and stress they are going through, and saying they have asked to see a therapist should not be told "I wouldn't worry about it being too unhealthy yet" (yes, I quoted you there, because I do not think I misunderstood your sentiment at all). That is minimising their experience, and that is not helpful to them. Their thoughts and feelings should be acknowledged and taken seriously - as seriously as they themselves have taken their problem.

There is one more issue I have that I will bring up, and that is: encouraging people who have problems with celebrity obsession to try and meet and contact their CO's is probably the last advice I would ever give anyone. It's like telling an alcoholic to get a job working in a liquor store. Now, other people might not agree with me but that's fine, we're all adults here and I don't have an issue with people disagreeing with what I say. At the end of the day, someone saying they think I'm talking a load of bull is not the end of the world.

I won't be here at the forum any longer because ultimately I feel that the people who are here now are a lot more happy and comfortable living with CO's than I am, and that's kind of at odds with where I want to be. I want a life free of CO's and will continue trying to get there, just not from here any longer. I'm pleased to say I'm making progress very slowly, but surely.

The very best of luck to all of you here with getting to where you want to be! I hope that anyone coming here and asking for help in trying to get rid of COs from their life is given the respect and full encouragement to do so that they deserve. if anyone wishes to talk about this post then please feel free to PM me as I won't see a response that you write here.

Take care, all! :smile:

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