Celebrity Obsession - Help or Support

[aries_gurl]

Hi there. I am new here. I have never been diagnosed with OCD, but I do suffer from depression and anxiety. I have a problem and I didn't know where else to go.

I'm too ashamed to tell anyone close to me about it because I feel so ridiculous. What initially started as a harmless crush on this male celebrity has turned into something thats

taking over my life. Thing is, this celebrity is really nice in real life and really approachable, so it makes him even more attractive to me. I haven't met him but I know people who have.

I think about him all day, daydreaming constantly, spend hours googling him and checking all the latest news on him online. And if I hear he's dating someone,

I become really jealous and even more depressed. And heres the kicker: I am married to a nice man, who is very good to me. And I still have this horrible obsession on the side!

When my husband is at work, I'll spend the day daydreaming about this celebrity. I'll also watch his movies over and over, and turn on music and dance around, thinking

about what it would be like to be with him. I can't seem to stop! He's famous, he's out living his life, and he doesn't know I exist, and I am married for crying out loud!

What is wrong with me? I know it probably isn't love, it's an infatuation gone out of control and I don't know how to get my life back.

Is there anything I can do to stop this? I would really appreciate any help. Thank you in advance.

[Guest iowa]

Hi aries gurl, If you have a psychiatrist, discuss this with her/him. If you don't have one, now would be a good time to find one. There are medications that can help tame obsessive thoughts. My guess is that you don't have typical OCD but do have obsessive thoughts. OCD is an illness just like any other physical illness like diabetes.

Iowa

[aries_gurl]

I was on Effexor for years, (for depression) but it made me gain so much weight that I had to stop taking it.

Is there really a medication I can take to help this? Hopefully one that doesn't cause weight gain.

I haven't seen a doctor about this, and I feel too ashamed to go.

Edited November 18, 2009 by aries_gurl

[maripapi]

I was on Effexor for years, (for depression) but it made me gain so much weight that I had to stop taking it.

Is there really a medication I can take to help this? Hopefully one that doesn't cause weight gain.

I haven't seen a doctor about this, and I feel too ashamed to go.

Hi

I am going through exactly the same thing as you right now and i know how hard it is. Like you I also have a loving partner but for some reason it has done nothing to cure my obsessions. I'm also obsessed with a male actor and about a week ago I decided I'd had enough of loving someone who doesn't even know I exist so I threw away everything I had of his and stopped reading about him and watching him in an attempt to get over my obsession. But instead of feeling good I just feel really depressed, like I've broken up with a boyfriend. Of course my real life boyfriend has no idea that I'm obsessed with this actor though he does know that I have a big crush on him and there's no way I'd ever tell him about it.

Anyway, you're welcome to PM me or post back on here if you need someone to talk to about this because I completely understand what you're feeling. If you're too embarassed to talk to your doctor about it then have you tried a counsellor/therapist? I tried counselling yesterday and although I was embarassed it was also a relief to tell someone. Counsellors are trained to deal with all kinds of mental health problems so they won't judge you.

Hope you're ok- I know it's been awhile since you posted but I just wanted to let you know that you aren't alone.

Take care,

Mari

[TenaceFemme]

It doesnt have to be ocd. I think personally ocd doesnt give you much of that love feeling or that much feeling at all its just something in your head, the in love feeling reminds me more of like being manic on the bp side. Another thing about ocd is that its fear driven as well, like ocd people are afraid to stop their obbsessing becuase something bad might happen. I think bp obbsessions is more becuase it makes you feel a certain way.

[red_shoe]

This is my first post on the forum, I joined after reading this thread because I too am in the same predicament. Celebrity obsession is something that has plagued me my whole life. Even when I was 3-4 years old, i'd become obsessed with cartoon characters and imagine them being a part of my life. I am now 22, and it has only escalated to actors/singers, usually only one at a time though. I spend stupid amounts to time day dreaming about them, imagining myself as a part of their life. I have a wonderful boyfriend and for about 18 months after i first met him he occupied my fantasies 100% but after that, I started clinging to celebrities again. It's awful because I feel for them the emotions I feel towards other people; jealousy, disappointment, joy, etc. I find it incredibly embarrassing, i've tried talking to a counsellor about it but I think I held back when mentioning the extent of it - i got told it was normal to fantasize. Believe me, this is not normal!

Would love to talk to anyone in a similar situation or someone who can offer advice.

Thanks!

[Gisele]

Hi Red Shoe,

If the amount of crap at the newstands is any indication, I would think you're not alone; perhaps you feel it more acutely than most.

I don't know what might help. In another life though, I had a handful of clients that were quite well known and what I took from that is a person's public persona has more to do with feeding ideal fantasies than what they might be like privately.

Welcome to DF,

Gisele

[red_shoe]

Thanks Gisele,

I know that celebrity culture is running rife, particularly with communication technologies such as facebook and twitter. I honestly feel that mine has reached a point that is unhealthy. It has started to distract me from my own life and I'm not achieving what I want to, rather focusing on that of the particular celebrity. I'm not what you would expect though, in that I'm not outward in my expression - there are no posters on my walls, or pics on my myspace or anything like that. I keep it very much to myself, I'm not a screaming fan who sleeps outside in a line to meet or catch a glimpse of this celebrity! My feelings are introverted

I should also probably mentioned that I have suffered from depression since the age of 13 and have been medicated since I was 16. Perhaps the extreme emotions I experience are a result of this.

Thanks again Gisele,

Red Shoe

[BrokenPieces]

I do this, too. If the celebrity is from another country, I end up being obsessed about their country, too. I had an obsession about Ireland for 12 years (even specialized in Irish history in college because of it), long after I had gotten over the celebrity who was from there.

I "manage" my obsessions by writing stories about these people, sometimes it's fan fiction (if I'm obsessing about a character in a movie instead of the actor), or if they're real people, I sort-of convert them into a similar-but-not-exactly-the-same character in a novel. Of course, the main female character they interact with isn't exactly me, but I "become" her. It's how I "fantasize" about interacting with them. I'm not into erotica or even slimy romance novels, so it's not about sexual fantasizing. I just create a whole different world around these people and "live" in it while I'm obsessing about them. It drives me crazy that I do it, but it just totally seems to me that this is how I "escape" from my own difficult world. I often feel very guilty about it, because I'm a Christian and I don't want to be making "idols" out of fallible human beings, but in all honesty, I can't help it. I used to think it was because I have a huge imagination (I've been doing this since childhood and I'm 47), but as I look back over my life, I realize it's probably a "coping" mechanism for when I can't deal with life. So much easier to escape into my fictional world, where I can think out scenes for the story, than to try to cope with the one I live in IRL.

Makes me feel like a total weirdo, though.

[bonkersinthenut]

I am so glad that I have found this thread and other people who share this problem! Like many here I have had anxiety and depression for a long time and have developed these obsessions with celebrities and with people in my real life for pretty much as long as I can remember.

I would never admit these obsessions to anyone as I feel so embarrassed and ashamed but I long to be free of them because I know how detrimental they are to my life. Once one starts, the feelings are so addictive that I can't let go. I can totally relate to it being a coping mechanism that I use to deal with problems and worries in my life.

My obsession with the person begins to dictate every area of my life. If it is a celebrity I will collect pictures and keep them with me, record and watch every TV programme they are on and watch them repeatedly, look up all the information I can about them on the internet etc. I soon find that almost ALL of my thoughts revolve around the celebrity, whether I am alone, working or socialising. It is like being in a constant daydream where I imagine what it would be like to be their partner, and although I know this will never happen and that the whole thing is ridiculous, the obsession just gets deeper and I end up subconciously doing things to be closer to them somehow.

For example, with my last celebrity obsession I found out which studio he was regularly filming in and began to commute home that way each evening *cringe! cringe!*. I never once saw the guy, but just doing that made me so excited and happy.On another occasion I was somewhere close to the city where I knew he was from. I told myself I would have a day trip there because I had never been before and would like to visit that city...all innocent, but deep down I knew there was only one reason why I was going there, and I was already entertaining fantisies of bumping into him in the street and him falling madly in love with me. Next thing I know, I'm thinking of doing a drama course because I believe it is what I personally want to do, but really I'm completely deluded and only wanting to do it because he is an actor and therefore I want to be too! It's all too embarrassing for words and no way for a grown woman to behave!

I also experience the strong emotions others have mentioned. It is an infatuation, and if I find out he is married or has a partner it destroys everything and I feel as depressed as I would at the end of a real relationship.

I have been single for long periods in my life and I know the obsessions fill the void of loneliness. However, when I have been in the first flush of a real relationship the obsessions stop and are directed at the real man in my life, but like one of the other posters mentioned, after about 18 months when that period wares off, my mind creates an obsession with someone else. I feel very lost and lonely in the periods where I don't have an obsession but I would love to stop having them.

Edited May 31, 2010 by bonkersinthenut

[elbee68]

I am also obsessed with a celebrity. I cannot tell anyone I know about it because of the tremendous shame I feel. This is not the first time this has happened to me. I suppose it won't be the last. I am currently going to a counselor to help deal with it. If the obsession is taking over your life, where your productivity at work has declined like mine has, you need to get professional help.

For the past 2 months, I have thought of this man non-stop. The only relief I get is when I sleep. The moment I wake up the thoughts begin. When I'm on the internet all I want to do is look at pictures or videos of him. When I'm not on the internet, I get anxious because I'm thinking about him and wondering if I'm missing any news about him. My fantasies about him have become rather detailed.

Although I feel elation when I think of him, reality keeps rearing its ugly head. My fantasies will never become real and that leaves me feeling incredibly empty. I know that I have no place in this man's life. I am also anxious because I fear hearing things about him that I may not want to hear. For instance, there are rumors of him dating someone. This makes me feel intensely jealous. Then I feel intensely stupid because I know I have no business feeling jealousy about a man I do not know.

This has taken up the past 2 months of my life. I have spent numerous hours on the internet, at home and at work. When I'm not on the internet, I'm fantasizing. I feel that my life has been consumed by this man. I do not care about having a social life (well, I don't have much of one anyway), I don't care about the daily news, HE is the only one I care about. Now, my work is backed up. I know this is not good. I cannot lose my job.

So, I am getting help. I am going to get over this and get my life back. I told my counselor that I feel such shame about this because I feel so alone. There is so much information and support about drug and alcohol addiction, gambling addiction, sex addiction, etc. But you don't hear much about addiction to a celebrity. I encourage everyone with this problem to seek a counselor if possible. In the meantime, I would love to converse with everyone on this thread. It feels good to know that I am not alone.

Edited June 1, 2010 by elbee68

[bonkersinthenut]

Hi elbee, I am glad you are getting help for your problem. I am going to see a counselor soon and I am going to mention my problem to them. It is going to take some doing though because I am so embarrased!

I think these sort of obsessions do get out of hand because of the wonderful feelings of elation that they bring. In the case of my celebrity crush, I was always aware that I did not know him and that he would never be a part of my life, but I liked to deny it to keep the magic alive. I always held onto the ridiculous notion that one day I would meet him and I would end up being his partner. He lived in my city and he wasn't a major celebrity so I knew meeting him wasn't impossible and he wasn't entirely inaccessable to someone like me. It also meant that I was less likely to come across undesirable information about him (i.e. existence of wife/girlfriend) when trawling the net which was a blessing as far as my obsession was concerned.

Initially, the obsession gave me a lot of confidence and boosted my self-esteem. He was essentially my imaginary boyfriend, providing all of the emotional and sexual support that I needed through fantasy. At work I would think about him all day. At home I had photographs that I would carry around with me all of the time and I'd spend hours just gazing at them, lost in fantasy. I knew it was wrong but I didn't want to stop and frankly couldn't. These things are bad news. In my case a substitute for a real partner and an escape mechanism from life. Time to put a stop to them.

Edited June 3, 2010 by bonkersinthenut

[elbee68]

Hi bonkers,

I can relate to pretty much everything you said. I am feeling somewhat better about my obsession. I know I can get help to stop it, but there's a part of me that doesn't want it to stop. I just love looking at him-- he's so beautiful to me! In my case, I do not live anywhere close to this man, so there is no chance of me meeting him. If I did meet him, I'm sure I'd be disappointed. There's no way he'd be interested in me. I'm a few years older than him and I'm certainly not gorgeous like the Hollywood women he's acquainted with. What I would like to do is stop the obsession, but still remain a casual fan. But I don't know if that's possible.

[Guest march_baby_67]

Hi bonkers,

I can relate to pretty much everything you said. I am feeling somewhat better about my obsession. I know I can get help to stop it, but there's a part of me that doesn't want it to stop. I just love looking at him-- he's so beautiful to me! In my case, I do not live anywhere close to this man, so there is no chance of me meeting him. If I did meet him, I'm sure I'd be disappointed. There's no way he'd be interested in me. I'm a few years older than him and I'm certainly not gorgeous like the Hollywood women he's acquainted with. What I would like to do is stop the obsession, but still remain a casual fan. But I don't know if that's possible.

Hi elbee,

I'm also going through the same thing. I'm 43 years old, married, and I'm totally IN LOVE with an actor. He's pretty much my whole life right now. In fact, I talk about him on my Facebook profile more than I talk about my husband. I use his picture as my Facebook profile pic (same thing on my Myspace profile). I even talk about him at my work. I think of him as my 'boyfriend'. I've made videos of him. I use clips of him from his movies and I add music to it. He's married too, and sometimes it doesn't bother me. But other times I just hate her guts! I get sick when I see pictures of them together. The actor I'm in love with, is 68 years old now. He's been in the business since 1967. I'm in love with the 'younger' version of him. But of course I love the 'older' version too. So when I get jealous of his wife, I say to myself "Well he wasn't married to her when he was young and HOT", so then I fall back 'in love' with him all over again. I have pictures of him from his moveis on my wall. I always use him as my computer background picture. I dream about him every night. So yeah, I'm really into him. The thing is, I don't want to stop this obsession either. I'm having fun with it. I mean, I know I'll never be with him in a relationship. But maybe, if I could meet him and get an autograph and a picture taken with him, that would satisfy me. Would it really though? Who knows. But I don't want the fantasy to end. That was one of the songs I used in a video of him, Mariah Carey's 'Fantasy'. I would like to find women friends who are thinking the same way about their favorite actor. It would be great to have friends who can relate to me. If you would be interested in a friendship, let me know. Maybe we can help each other. But I'm not interested in getting help with this. I don't want it. I want to keep it going as long as I can. I love him too much to let go. I mean, when I watch his moveis, it brings me so much happiness. He was so darn cute when he was younger. He's still handsome today too. Hope to hear from you, or others, please feel free to talk to me.

[bonkersinthenut]

Just reading march baby's post, I thought I'd add that although my obsession with the last actor ended about three weeks ago (found out he was married, was totally devastated etc etc), today I found myself developing similar feelings for another actor who was a) in his prime in the 60's and b) has been dead for 20 years! It all started from seeing his photo in a book. Before I knew it I was on the internet, finding out his name and brooding over other photos. All the familiar feelings came rushing back but it is absolutely ridiculous. It's as if my mind just can't cope without one of these obsessions and will try to create one whether I like or not. Luckily this one can't come to much because he isn't alive!

Edited June 10, 2010 by bonkersinthenut

[baley]

I do this too, I always have. But 99% of the time it makes me really happy. Which is probably happier than a lot of real boyfriends would make me. I don't like reading about his girlfriend but he just tells me it's the tabloids making up rumours and it happens to all celebrities. And then after a day or so I don't mind anymore. He's really kind and loving, I don't usually get lonely when he's around. We talk all the time but we talk about what I'm doing, about this site, about what I'm doing in the next few days. He helps me with stuff like my degree and hugs me when something bad happens and reminds me to do things and tells me to go to bed when it's late and I'm still on the computer. I don't google him because it embarrasses him, it feels weird googling him right in front of him. (Not that I'm really in any position to say what's weird and what isn't.) Often when I've loved someone like this I've often met them and had a real friendship with them too and I'm still friends with some of them but that's actually okay. It's almost like they're two different people.

[elbee68]

Hi bonkers,

I can relate to pretty much everything you said. I am feeling somewhat better about my obsession. I know I can get help to stop it, but there's a part of me that doesn't want it to stop. I just love looking at him-- he's so beautiful to me! In my case, I do not live anywhere close to this man, so there is no chance of me meeting him. If I did meet him, I'm sure I'd be disappointed. There's no way he'd be interested in me. I'm a few years older than him and I'm certainly not gorgeous like the Hollywood women he's acquainted with. What I would like to do is stop the obsession, but still remain a casual fan. But I don't know if that's possible.

Hi elbee,

I'm also going through the same thing. I'm 43 years old, married, and I'm totally IN LOVE with an actor. He's pretty much my whole life right now. In fact, I talk about him on my Facebook profile more than I talk about my husband. I use his picture as my Facebook profile pic (same thing on my Myspace profile). I even talk about him at my work. I think of him as my 'boyfriend'. I've made videos of him. I use clips of him from his movies and I add music to it. He's married too, and sometimes it doesn't bother me. But other times I just hate her guts! I get sick when I see pictures of them together. The actor I'm in love with, is 68 years old now. He's been in the business since 1967. I'm in love with the 'younger' version of him. But of course I love the 'older' version too. So when I get jealous of his wife, I say to myself "Well he wasn't married to her when he was young and HOT", so then I fall back 'in love' with him all over again. I have pictures of him from his moveis on my wall. I always use him as my computer background picture. I dream about him every night. So yeah, I'm really into him. The thing is, I don't want to stop this obsession either. I'm having fun with it. I mean, I know I'll never be with him in a relationship. But maybe, if I could meet him and get an autograph and a picture taken with him, that would satisfy me. Would it really though? Who knows. But I don't want the fantasy to end. That was one of the songs I used in a video of him, Mariah Carey's 'Fantasy'. I would like to find women friends who are thinking the same way about their favorite actor. It would be great to have friends who can relate to me. If you would be interested in a friendship, let me know. Maybe we can help each other. But I'm not interested in getting help with this. I don't want it. I want to keep it going as long as I can. I love him too much to let go. I mean, when I watch his moveis, it brings me so much happiness. He was so darn cute when he was younger. He's still handsome today too. Hope to hear from you, or others, please feel free to talk to me.

Hi March baby,

It sounds to me like you have a good handle on your fantasy. If it doesn't harm your personal life, then maybe everything's okay?

On the other hand, I'm pretty upset right now because the guy I'm crazy about seems to be dating someone. And I generally like the person he's dating, but the fact that they ARE dating makes me feel horribly jealous and now I want to dislike this woman. I hate feeling like this. That's why I want my obsession to end, because I can't seem to just look at my fantasy as strictly a fantasy. I wish I could. I want to be able to enjoy fantasizing about him without getting so wrapped up in his personal life.

[Guest march_baby_67]

Hi bonkers,

I can relate to pretty much everything you said. I am feeling somewhat better about my obsession. I know I can get help to stop it, but there's a part of me that doesn't want it to stop. I just love looking at him-- he's so beautiful to me! In my case, I do not live anywhere close to this man, so there is no chance of me meeting him. If I did meet him, I'm sure I'd be disappointed. There's no way he'd be interested in me. I'm a few years older than him and I'm certainly not gorgeous like the Hollywood women he's acquainted with. What I would like to do is stop the obsession, but still remain a casual fan. But I don't know if that's possible.

Hi elbee,

I'm also going through the same thing. I'm 43 years old, married, and I'm totally IN LOVE with an actor. He's pretty much my whole life right now. In fact, I talk about him on my Facebook profile more than I talk about my husband. I use his picture as my Facebook profile pic (same thing on my Myspace profile). I even talk about him at my work. I think of him as my 'boyfriend'. I've made videos of him. I use clips of him from his movies and I add music to it. He's married too, and sometimes it doesn't bother me. But other times I just hate her guts! I get sick when I see pictures of them together. The actor I'm in love with, is 68 years old now. He's been in the business since 1967. I'm in love with the 'younger' version of him. But of course I love the 'older' version too. So when I get jealous of his wife, I say to myself "Well he wasn't married to her when he was young and HOT", so then I fall back 'in love' with him all over again. I have pictures of him from his moveis on my wall. I always use him as my computer background picture. I dream about him every night. So yeah, I'm really into him. The thing is, I don't want to stop this obsession either. I'm having fun with it. I mean, I know I'll never be with him in a relationship. But maybe, if I could meet him and get an autograph and a picture taken with him, that would satisfy me. Would it really though? Who knows. But I don't want the fantasy to end. That was one of the songs I used in a video of him, Mariah Carey's 'Fantasy'. I would like to find women friends who are thinking the same way about their favorite actor. It would be great to have friends who can relate to me. If you would be interested in a friendship, let me know. Maybe we can help each other. But I'm not interested in getting help with this. I don't want it. I want to keep it going as long as I can. I love him too much to let go. I mean, when I watch his moveis, it brings me so much happiness. He was so darn cute when he was younger. He's still handsome today too. Hope to hear from you, or others, please feel free to talk to me.

Hi March baby,

It sounds to me like you have a good handle on your fantasy. If it doesn't harm your personal life, then maybe everything's okay?

On the other hand, I'm pretty upset right now because the guy I'm crazy about seems to be dating someone. And I generally like the person he's dating, but the fact that they ARE dating makes me feel horribly jealous and now I want to dislike this woman. I hate feeling like this. That's why I want my obsession to end, because I can't seem to just look at my fantasy as strictly a fantasy. I wish I could. I want to be able to enjoy fantasizing about him without getting so wrapped up in his personal life.

Hi Elbee!

I tried to send you a message, but I don't think it was sent. I would like to talk to you about this, so please send me

a personal message, my name is Doris. Hope to hear from you soon!

Edited June 12, 2010 by iowa
Personal Details Removed as per TOS

[Guest march_baby_67]

I think we can help each other deal with this issue. As I said before, I don't want to stop my fantasy about HIM. I enjoy it too much to give it up. Sure, there are plenty of times when I get so depressed that I can't be with him, but then I try to overcome that by asking myself, "What is it about him that makes me happy?". So then I go through all the reasons in my mind, and I fall back in love with him all over again. And that's a wonderful feeling. If I wasn't 'obsessing' over him, I really wouldn't be happy. He's my life 24/7, and I can cope with this. I'm here to help anyone who would like help with coping with their 'fantasy'. Send me a PM through here if you are able too. If not, leave me a comment on my profile page.

[elbee68]

I think we can help each other deal with this issue. As I said before, I don't want to stop my fantasy about HIM. I enjoy it too much to give it up. Sure, there are plenty of times when I get so depressed that I can't be with him, but then I try to overcome that by asking myself, "What is it about him that makes me happy?". So then I go through all the reasons in my mind, and I fall back in love with him all over again. And that's a wonderful feeling. If I wasn't 'obsessing' over him, I really wouldn't be happy. He's my life 24/7, and I can cope with this. I'm here to help anyone who would like help with coping with their 'fantasy'. Send me a PM through here if you are able too. If not, leave me a comment on my profile page.

Hi march baby,

I would be interested in corresponding further with you. I'd like to hear your point of view. It's late at the moment, so I will contact you by email tomorrow.

Edited June 13, 2010 by elbee68

[soonamee]

hi all,

I'm amazed! So many people seem to be going through this, and I really thought I was the only one! I have had countless obsessions, some celebrities and some people I knew in real life. I even got involved with some of the real life people, which led to a lot of heartbreak. Turns out sleeping with someone you're obsessed with is not a good idea. It was so easy to convince myself that these people must feel the same way about me, but usually they just wanted sex.

I can totally relate to the jealousy, the constant reading of information on the internet, collecting thousands of pictures, and staring at photos for hours! I even had imaginary conversations with these people. Whenever I was thinking to myself, I would imagine I was talking to him. Strangely enough, though, I sometimes imagined conversations with people that I wasn't attracted to, but that I admired. I don't know how many people have done this!

Facebook has made it so much easier to obsess over people in real life, too. They kinda become like celebrities because you can look up all their information, you can stare at their photos, and you can follow all their updates. I even stalk their friend's pages. It's ridiculous.

Before adolescence I was obsessed with celebrities in a non-sexual way, so it was mostly females that I admired. Since then I've had serious obsessions with at least 7 male celebrities, plus many other brief obsessions. Also about 8 major, all-consuming obsessions with people I knew. The first 3 happened when I was young. I got involved with all of the last 5 of them, all leading to terrible heartbreak. That was all in a 2 year period of being single. One of those obsessions was actually maintained over the whole 2-year period. It was the worst. After being obsessed with him for 2 years, I found the perfect drunken opportunity to sleep with him and then he never called me again. Hmmm... why did I expect any different?

All that I managed to fit into my 24 years!

Luckily I'm in a stable relationship now and I don't have to deal with all that anymore.

I don't know where these obsessions come from, but I think it's a combination of idealising people and getting addicted to the high of being "in love". Maybe I never had any other way to find meaning in my life.

Anyway, wow, I can't believe I have actually opened up about this...

[bonkersinthenut]

Hi soonammee,

Welcome to the obsessives club lol Yes it seems there are more of us than you might think, which is a relief! Interesting that you say you obsess about celebrities and people in your real life as this also happens to me. Of all my real life obsessions, only one of them turned into anything. I had a wonderful three-year relationship, but it fizzled out. Otherwise I've been too afraid to make a move for fear of rejection or fear of him not living up to my expectations. This has probably caused me as much heartache as getting them then being disappointed would!

I once had an obsession with a single friend for three years but never breathed a word! I eventually admitted that I liked him to some friends and instructed them to tell him how I felt but they wouldn't do it. In the end he moved away, still oblivious and I was devastated! During those three years though, my feelings never ebbed. I was stuck permanently in that heady high that you get in the first months of a real relationship before it starts to wear off. That's why the obsessions are so addictive. Beats illegal drugs I suppose.

[sober4life]

I've had obsessions with celebrities most of my life. It goes from one to the other usually for years each but I don't think there's anything wrong with it because it just seems like being in love with anyone else. I just wish for some miracle to happen to make it so I can be with them but I know it will never happen. I think to be really in love with someone you have to be obsessed with them so what's the difference?

[bonkersinthenut]

Hey that's the age old question. I'd say my obsessions are lust. I don't think I have ever actually been in love. To me, love is still wanting to be with the person once the initial lustful feelings have worn off. I've never got to that point.

[AllYouNeedIsLove]

Just by admitting that you have this problem, and are aware that it is not normal, shows that you still have a grip on reality. We all get celebrity crushes from time to time, thinking, "Wow that's exactly the kind of person I want to date- why couldn't I have met him/her through some friends or at a coffee shop instead of having to hear about them on tv?" It just doesn't seem fair.

I wonder though- and forgive me if this is out of line, but it's just a thought so correct me if I'm wrong- but are you really in love with your husband? Or has the flame seemed to have burned out? Just a thought- but perhaps you find it so easy to become infatuated with someone because your real life is lacking the romance you crave.