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How To Get Motivated To Take A Shower.


PeacePilgrim

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My husband does NOT get why it's so hard for me to shower and frankly...neither do I. I average about once a week and I know it's not enough and it's always a huge effort to get me in there. It just takes FOR-EV-ER, even if I do a no frills (no shaving, just the basics) shower. And it's not just the shower that takes forever, it's combing out my long hair afterwards and putting lotion on...the whole production. It's easily an hour or more. It just rarely feels worth it. I'm glad to hear I'm not entirely crazy, I seriously thought maybe I was the laziest person on earth.

Hey there, I actually thought no one would be worse than me in not showering. But I understand depression can make peoples not do anything. Luckily I have a short hair just like a guy. I didn't even blow my hair after shower. I just let it dry on it's own.

Edited by lim1988
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It is bizarre but very understandable how this ritual grips us.

I know that sometimes I struggle with this - I only shower when I have to leave the house. During a good week, that's maybe five times/week. Other weeks, inertia sets in, I don't need to go anywhere, and I can go five-six days. Sometimes I make personal plans - I'll go work out and hit the grocery store afterward, and when that day comes, it's "well, gee... I can go one more day without getting more groceries... I can open a can or two of something". I'm a good excuse-maker.

When in reality, after a shower most of the time I feel pretty revitalized and energetic. Who wouldn't want that?

Could it be that this event has bigger meaning to some of us? Not those of us with physical limitations, but for us "depressed people". Taking a shower means removing a huge obstacle from our interacting with the world. Oh, can't say I can't go do something or see someone because I haven't showered...

In fact, why can't we take this simple activity, which others perform once or twice/day, and rally around it? "I showered today, so I'm ready to move on. I showered, and that's the first step to acceptability to the outside world. I'm groomed and ready for anything! I'm going to go do something, anything because I CAN."

Being grubby, on the other hand, represents inertia, doesn't it? Giving in to the depression. Why shower? Why do this? I don't want to feel any differently than I do now? (Or maybe, I don't want to enough?) Showering, drying off, styling my hair, trimming my nails, represents making an effort. Represents a kind of rejection of those feelings that I've lived with for years. And I've grown comfortable with them. I don't have the energy or mental makeup to change that now. Thus I'll sit here, sans human contact, and continue my old ways. Willpower successfully stifled.

That's just my take folks. I know my limitations. I'm pretty "high-functioning", but I constantly fight this, too. Just need to fight harder, I guess.

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The most frequent was 2 years ago when I took showers 3 or more times a day. The longest was a few years earlier when I used to go for a few weeks without one. It almost became a game to see if I could lower my self esteem into a bottomless pit. Did a pretty good job, that's for sure.

Nowadays it's usually every other day so I'm back on a schedule.

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The most frequent was 2 years ago when I took showers 3 or more times a day. The longest was a few years earlier when I used to go for a few weeks without one. It almost became a game to see if I could lower my self esteem into a bottomless pit. Did a pretty good job, that's for sure.

Nowadays it's usually every other day so I'm back on a schedule.

Good job to you. I'll be glad if I can shower at least 3 times a week.

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I don't know why, but I'm still procrastinating taking a shower that I mentioned yesterday here. God I'm so lazy. Even though I know it will be therapeutic, something I can do that costs nothing. I don't even have to leave the house or talk to anyone, and it's pretty much guaranteed to lift my spirits and make me feel better. What's not to like? Yet here I sit. Okay, I just talked myself into it, be back later.

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It's not that I haven't showered--well, I did yesterday and I'm thinking of doing it this evening because we're going out to eat.

I don't shower when I first get up. I put on some clothes, make coffee for myself and feed the cat or let him out or in. Then I write a bit. Then after breakfast is when showering and putting on clean clothes occurs. Unless I'm going to the gym. Then it's gym clothes.

After that is showering and clean clothes. But sometimes it's a real chore.

I usually like showering. I have some nice-smelling soap and shampoo. But then again...it's more comfortable sometimes not to take my clothes off and get wet. Sometimes in my brain it represents a kind of "giving in" to the establishment...the kind of tyranny of thought that I shouldn't be like anybody else. As if being clean is copping out...

depressive brain makes all kinds of excuses!

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It's been Sunday since my last shower. Will shower later this morning. Shower seems to be a chore for me. I'm just lazy I guess. Btw for those who are celebrating Christmas I hope you guys will be happy and hopefully for those who are depressed will felt a little better. I'm not celebrating btw.

Edited by lim1988
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Oh my gosh! I had no idea there were so many of us. Just this thread being here makes me feel so much better. I struggle with showers as well. It just seems like so much work for something I need to repeat every day. I could never figure out why I fight taking showers. I still can't. There has to be something more to it than just, " I don't wanna!"

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It's been months since PeacePilgrim(TS) last post. I hope she is doing fine with her life.

Hi Lim1988 and thanks for your thoughts! It's been a rough time (and still is) so that's why the silence. Also no shower; pretty much stalled over that. Tried to get help from VNA but I think that's falling apart too. I only have Medicare for insurance here in USA and that's a problem in limiting access to a lot of things.

Also, I WISH that this board would send me emails when someone updates this thread. It's been at least a year since it has done so, even though I am officially signed up to "follow" this topic. I am glad to see this board so active, but just wish I would be kept in the loop. Not being so brings me down even more. I addressed the technical issue to at least 2 different moderators: one did not respond and one brushed the issue aside by saying the board was quiet and when there was a post here, I would hear about it through automated email (NOT true, obviously because I have missed a couple months of messages that I am signed up to receive). I wish someone would help at least with this.

Wishing I had better news, but did want to check in. Thanks to all for keeping this forum and board alive, PeacePilgrim

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It's been months since PeacePilgrim(TS) last post. I hope she is doing fine with her life.

Hi Lim1988 and thanks for your thoughts! It's been a rough time (and still is) so that's why the silence. Also no shower; pretty much stalled over that. Tried to get help from VNA but I think that's falling apart too. I only have Medicare for insurance here in USA and that's a problem in limiting access to a lot of things.

Hey PeacePilgrim, welcome back. Hopefully all will be better for you this year. Happy new year to you and everyone who post in here.

This morning I'm showering because I'm going out with my dad.

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This is the thread that inspired me to join this site!

When I'm going through a rough time with depression/anxiety, my hygiene is usually the first thing to go.

Taking a shower is just....exhausting. And then the process afterwards: blow drying my hair, lotion, and if I'm going out, makeup and such. UGH! It's usually an hour and a half at least. I don't understand people that shower daily. How do they have time for anything else?

If I'm "highly functioning," I shower every two or three days. I don't go out much so it's easy to get away with it (at least, I hope it is and no one has noticed).

When I'm "low functioning," I usually only shower once or twice a week and even then it's not because I "want to", it's because I don't want my family to notice or say anything.

And shaving my legs? Forget about it! From early October through New Year's Eve I didn't shave my legs at all. I couldn't be bothered. But this New Year's Eve I decided I would shave my legs, at least my calves, so I could go and get a pedicure without feeling self conscious about it. [side note: I am a feminist and I believe that women shouldn't have to shave if they don't want to, but I still feel self conscious about my leg hair.] It took three razors, the Schick Quattro kind with four blades each, to get the job done. And that wasn't even my whole leg, just my calves! AND when I got dressed and went out, it turns out the nail salon was closed anyway for the holiday. So the entire thing felt stupid and pointless and reinforced my depression. A first world problem, I know. It was just so aggravating.

Edited by KayElle
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PeacePilgrim, sorry you aren't getting email notifications. I'm not a computer whiz, but I wonder if somehow on one of the maintenance or updates of the site somehow your notification preference got lost. Anyhow, it's an easy thing to check---just click on your name at the top, click on "my settings", and then go into the notifications and see if email is still selected. You may have already checked that, but thought I'd mention it just in case. Would be nice if it was something that simple, huh? I've noticed that some of the threads I followed a long time ago have fallen off my lists so maybe after a certain time that happens if we haven't commented on them for quite a while.

I had a shower for the holidays. I do alright being clean enough without actually getting a shower. I don't wear perfumes or scented anything and I don't look or smell unclean---nobody would have a clue how long I go between showers unless they lived with me and noticed that I never got in the shower. It's not like in old times where they carried nosegays and wore extreme perfume to cover up noxious odors.

Anyhow, since it's usually a choice between making sure I eat or doing other things, feeding myself comes way before showers. I was denied home care help so that's how it goes.

Best Wishes.

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Did anyone here not brushing their teeth everyday beside not showering? I used to brush my teeth a few times a week only but now I'm scared periodontitis and I tried to brush my teeth at least once a day. Twice if I felt like it. I already had some early signs of it(gingivitis).

Edited by lim1988
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I can understand the depression making you not want to take a shower or brush your teeth, but can I ask you guys how you put up with the physical discomfort caused by not doing these things?

If I go for more than a day without brushing my teeth, I feel the fuzzy build-up of plaque on my teeth and the disgusting, fermenting gunk on my tongue. It makes eating and drinking far less enjoyable, and all I can think about is all the bacteria in my mouth and how gross it feels. So I have to brush my teeth when I start to feel that; the discomfort is what motivates me.

As for showering, I usually do it twice a day, if not more. If I go for more than a day without showering, I feel oily and sweaty and I start to smell. Also, I suffer form male pattern baldness and need to apply this topical solution to my scalp twice a day to prevent my hair from falling out. In order to apply it, I need a clean, dry scalp, which means having a shower twice a day and drying my hair. So if I don't shower, I'll lose my hair. That's probably a bigger motivation for me than the feeling of being dirty or malodorous.

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I am so glad I finally googled "hard to take a shower," because it brought me to this forum. It feels like it is simply too much of a task to actually take my clothes off and get in the shower. This has confounded me for a long time. I hate feeling like this. I am on disability, and I can't work, so I have nowhere to go on a regular basis, which I think is one thing that has de-motivated me. But I feel lethargic and unmotivated as a rule anyway. I know I would feel better and look better, and just might be motivated if I was clean and shiny, but it just does not seem to matter. I hate that!! Anyway, I am so grateful for everyone who has posted before me and has opened up about this issue. It is embarrassing and hard to talk about, but I feel better knowing at least I am looking for a solution!! That doesn't mean I am jumping in the shower in a minute, however. Maybe soon tho. :)

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Saliency,


Depression and other MH issues affect everyone differently. Some who don't shower regularly and don't have other ways of being clean don't deal with it and don't feel good about it---I think that's part of the bonus points of this thread---to help people not feel so bad about it and to be encouraging for them get motivated. It is a major accomplishment for some.

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