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How To Get Motivated To Take A Shower.


PeacePilgrim

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Well s***, it appears im not the only one. I skimmed through the thread and found alot of patterns going on here. I've been pretty depressed as of late (lost job, seem to be losing friends, just kind of existing) and I'm ashamed to admit I haven't showered in roughly 2 months... I know, completely gross. I just can't seem to do it for whatever reason, although i know i should. It's almost as if i like (or have gotten used to) feeling ashamed of myself. I'm gonna try to do it tommorrow but idk if i really will. I just feel weak mentally, and can't seem to shake the feeling of worthless-ness. I constantly wash my hands, so atleast theres that... I've never liked showers my entire life but this is a record breaker for myself. I don't even see the point of posting this but i guess it feels right. I rarely sleep anymore as well, well atleast not anything near the 8 reccomended hours.. idk if thats due to depression or simply the fact that I enjoy the feeling sleep deprevasion gives. My life is nothing as i once knew and feel i might need medical help, but its not gonna happen. I almost don't care about anything anymore... well im rambling so I'll just leave this here as is.

I've been pretty awful with showering as my depression's gotten worse (so once a week usually), but I don't hate showering. When I was doing it on a daily basis, I usually took 20 minutes, but because I wait so long in between showers, it can take me 45-1 hr. I am too greasy a person to not be showering regularly. My internet addiction isn't helping either - when I'm at home, it's hard for me to step away from the computer for even an hour. My dental hygiene has been absolutely terrible, not even gonna get into that...

Anyways, I have a shower radio that is tuned into a station that just plays stand-up comedy. Using a nice smelling shampoo fills the bathroom with a nice scent that also makes me happy (at least happier than with a shampoo that doesn't have a lot of scent). So distractions help a lot if you'rer not eager to shower. If there's a particular part you like about showering (I like shampooing and using exfoliation gloves on my back - it's like a backscratch) try to focus on anticipating that.

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I'm back to check in briefly...I'm the Peace Pilgrim who started this whole thread. I am not even looking to see when I last showered. I am just saying that I will TRY to get a shower today, preferably sooner rather than later. We'll see what happens...And thanks again to all who join here; it gives me hope.

Peace

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I'm back to check in briefly...I'm the Peace Pilgrim who started this whole thread. I am not even looking to see when I last showered. I am just saying that I will TRY to get a shower today, preferably sooner rather than later. We'll see what happens...And thanks again to all who join here; it gives me hope.

Peace

Okay, so coming here to state commitment worked again.

Got a shower 12:20 noon to One pm. Took a long time and lots of layers of dried skin/sweat to scrub away.

It was a struggle; I am very tired in every part of my body. But it is done for now. I hope that maybe now I can sleep.

I also posted a photo of my shower stall in my photo gallery: I found it hard to open the photo to a full view, so here is a link. The photo was to help someone out who was trying to problem solve some of the physical difficulties for me.

Scroll to the bottom at:

http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/gallery/member/35066-peacepilgrim/

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I finally had the courage to check my previous posts, to see how long it actually been since my last shower: I knew I had probably broken a record unfortunately. So here is what I found in my previous posts:

First of all, it looks like I gave it a good shot about a month ago, but did not make it--

Posted 22 July 2014 - 02:09 AM
For once, didn't work, didn't happen. Lots of "life interference", including car to garage, cat to vet. And most painfully, I thought I had hired someone who could put in a shower sprayer but he bailed on me today...

Second, I finally found the record of my last shower prior to Friday 8/22--

Posted 14 July 2014 - 02:09 AM
"...my last shower was 5/8/2014 at 1:30 AM, so it's actually only a few days over 2 months...."

----------------

So it was 15 weeks and one day (3 months and 3 weeks) between my shower on 5/8 and my shower on 8/22 recorded above. Amazing! The things that helped most on Friday were: doing it in daylight, making my commitment in this forum, not having a lot of other items on the agenda, and my body not hurting and cramping terribly, so I didn't feel in as much danger, although the process was exhausting. Also, I practiced "non-perfectionism" and even though it had been a long time, I made myself be satisfied with "good enough". I have no idea what any of this means for the future, but for now it's done. ~Peace

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Good job! Maybe you can set a schedule. Like start slowly. Once every two weeks, and then once every week, and then once every 3 days, etc. It's hard to go from rarely showering to doing it on a daily basis. I've been showering more often lately, but mostly because I've had to go out more the last few weeks. Probably not a bad thing.

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I'm glad to hear from you. I think about you daily.

but peace pilgrim please dont ever try to break that record. you deserve better care.

here is what i have been doing lately:

I stopped using deoderant. When I begin to smell unpleasant I know that it is time to take a shower.

That has been working for me.

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  • 1 month later...
  • 2 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

Had a bath this morning because I'd not had one all week.

So then I go and exercise at lunchtime..... And am all hot and sweaty.

So I take a shower!

Twice in one day. Is this a record?

Edited by Tessar
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Two recommendations, maybe. Take 'em or leave 'em.

First, think of a shower as therapy. Am sure for a lot of us, depression means a loss of interpersonal contact. We avoid people or are sure people don't want to be around us. Well, not showering often means we've no intention of interacting with others, especially around days 4, 5, 6+. So consider a daily or every two day shower as a first step toward being available for those interactions. Training, if you will. You might even get out of the house - take a walk or go to the store to make a small purchase, just to get out?

Second, "ritualize" this activity. Set an Outlook or Facebook calendar for the same time three times/week or every other day. Set out clean clothes, and be prepared with a post-shower treat that you only allow yourself when you shower. Whatever works for you - cookies or a candy bar or a soda pop or whatever. You can get creative with this, too. Play music, shower by candle light instead of using your bathroom lights. Burn incense. Whatever works. The important things are that this is an IMPORTANT activity for you, and making it fun will make it more attractive for you.

Just some thoughts.

Best to all!

{edited out a couple of mistypes!)

Edited by RatBoy
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I don't know if I can make it today, because of massive depression and also because of not feeling secure physically about my body's mobility issues (fear of falling is increasing: twice recently almost fell off a stool). But I would like to cautiously at least try, so first step is coming here to state my intent. PeacePilgrim

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The good news: I DID get a shower, my first shower since 22 Aug 2014, so two months and three days since last shower--an improvement over the three month three-week time span the last time.

The bad news: The shower was reasonably scary; I notice a subtle but definite physical deterioration since the last time I tried. I wish I could find a resource here in the USA to help improve my quality of life: I have been trying, but places I have approached have either been overbooked or not interested. Any thoughts anyone?

In any case, here is my shower report:
6:28 PM 10/25/2014 Just out of a difficult shower:
don't know exact start time, but i am guessing maybe 6pm?

Before shower, I turned up heat 2 degrees frrom 67 to 69,
stripped off first layer of outerware,
had yogurt and ate portion of energy bar.
I also ran the water to heat it up while getting my pre-shower yogurt ready.

And before all of the above, I not only posted my intent to the depression forums thread, but also phoned a support line to a woman who was even willing to stay on the phone with me until I was ready to get into the shower. That part did not work however, because I was on a corded landline not a headset phone. But even her offer did help the depression portion of resistance to showering.

I did manage to squeeze the shower in just before dark, so I made my daylight goal. It was dark by the time I finished, but by that time I did not really notice.

The shower was reasonably scary; as i said above, I notice a subtle but definite physical deterioration since the last time I tried. I was on alert the whole time that I was standing, and was even very careful when I went to sit on the shower stool not to get off balance. I felt insecure and unstable the entire time. Out of necessity, I do not feel that I got a complete shower by any means. I did get my hair washed for sure: that was probably the most thorough thing that I did, half standing and half sitting. For the rest, some was done with soap and scrub brush, some with scrub brush only, and some areas I know that I missed. But wisdom finally said that it was time to get out before I had an accident. I have decided that it would help to add a plastic cup and sheets of paper toweling to my shower to help in the rinse-off process next time.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello everyone,

This is my first time posting. I found this forum while searching the internet to see if I was the only person that's gone a few days without bathing. To my surprise, it seems to be an issue that I'm not alone in. I'm currently on my second set of going 5 days in between showers. My husband comes home after work and says, "Wow honey, you still haven't taken a shower?" Why does this seem like such a daunting task nowadays? When I was younger, I went thru a teen stage when I didn't want to bathe, but that time is long passed. Now I have a child of my own who depends on either me or my husband to give her a bath, and I find myself always trying to pass it off to him. Heck, I can't manage to get myself clean, much less someone else.

I feel bad though, because she and I have both been sick this week and have done nothing but lay in bed the whole time. Neither of us have had a bath/shower since Tuesday. I feel guilty because she likes taking baths, but I don't have the energy to give her one sometimes... I also believe I'm entering another phase of depression. I just lost my job this week so now I have even less of a drive to get motivated unless I'm going somewhere, to shower.

I've asked my husband at times if he would come talk to me while I'm in the shower, and he's like, "Just go get in and get it over with, you don't need me to come talk to you."

Since when did this shower thing become such a problem for me?? It's so frustrating!

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  • 2 weeks later...

I like what Ratboy said about thinking of it as therapy. My doctor mentioned that too, since he's always trying to get me to see a therapist but I won't go, I'm like "Just write the prescription". He's great and has helped me tremendously with Zoloft, but I do still struggle with this occasionally, whereas before the depression hit I was pretty much the opposite, so find it kind of fascinating. I wonder if there's a name for it?

Peacepilgrim, I hope you're doing okay and will check in soon. If you can, put in a plastic shower chair and lower the hand-held to a comfortable height. This worked well for my dad, and he was happy not to need help from one of us girls. I was really sweating that one, hehe.

I was reading the biography of Montgomery Clift, and apparently he also had this bad in later life. He went months, and his friend said he reeked so bad that he really put time and effort into coaxing him into a tub, but it wasn't easy.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello everyone, I would love to join in the thread as well. This thread might motivate me to shower more. Because I'm unemployed for years(severe social anxiety) so I don't feel the need to shower everyday since I don't go out and I'm lazy as well. But because I'm from the tropical country it's hot and humid and my body'll smell if I don't shower for more than two or three days I tried to shower at least twice or three times a week. The longest I had gone without showering this year is a week and I felt horrible. So I just shower yesterday night and I felt quite good. I'll skip shower today and will shower again tomorrow evening.

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I just shower an our ago. I said that I'll be showering at Sunday evening but instead I'm showering at Monday morning. The next shower day should be this Wednesday because I'm going for my psychologist appointment but maybe I would not go because I don't really know what to said to the psychologist. If I'm going I'll be showering again in two days.

Edited by lim1988
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I believe most peoples who posted here don't have the energy/desire or motivation for showering but I think you'll still feel a lot better by washing your face. My face is so oily so I need to at least wash my face at least once a couple of days even if I don't shower for many days or even a week.

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My husband does NOT get why it's so hard for me to shower and frankly...neither do I. I average about once a week and I know it's not enough and it's always a huge effort to get me in there. It just takes FOR-EV-ER, even if I do a no frills (no shaving, just the basics) shower. And it's not just the shower that takes forever, it's combing out my long hair afterwards and putting lotion on...the whole production. It's easily an hour or more. It just rarely feels worth it. I'm glad to hear I'm not entirely crazy, I seriously thought maybe I was the laziest person on earth.

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