Jump to content
Sign in to follow this  
johnboy

Do You Ever Fully Recover

Recommended Posts

Around 12yrs now and still having hard time fighting depression and GAD. It's seems like the depression is always in the back of my mind even when I'am feeling good. I feel like I'am waiting for my next step backwards. I've been taking Fluvoxamine for about 4yrs now. Before that tryed many different meds untill one worked. Just last week again had a sort of bad set back and the doc has me on Lexapro now. I don't see myself going on another 12yrs of always worrying when the next set back will be. I always have some sort of worry from money,family,or health. Do we ever feel normal again whatever that feel like it's been so long. Was working a temp job at local employer and was let go 3 months ago. Used to work for that employer as full time employee for 15yrs but working swing shifts caught up with me and I took temp job for days. Right now in my life days is my only shift I can handle. I have no collage and finding a day job now seems impossible. Going back to the temp job is a pay check, but I wander what do I do for a retirement. Depression has costed me alot just someday I wish I could be normal again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Around 12yrs now and still having hard time fighting depression and GAD. It's seems like the depression is always in the back of my mind even when I'am feeling good. I feel like I'am waiting for my next step backwards. I've been taking Fluvoxamine for about 4yrs now. Before that tryed many different meds untill one worked. Just last week again had a sort of bad set back and the doc has me on Lexapro now. I don't see myself going on another 12yrs of always worrying when the next set back will be. I always have some sort of worry from money,family,or health. Do we ever feel normal again whatever that feel like it's been so long. Was working a temp job at local employer and was let go 3 months ago. Used to work for that employer as full time employee for 15yrs but working swing shifts caught up with me and I took temp job for days. Right now in my life days is my only shift I can handle. I have no collage and finding a day job now seems impossible. Going back to the temp job is a pay check, but I wander what do I do for a retirement. Depression has costed me alot just someday I wish I could be normal again.

Hi johnboy,

Sorry you are in such a bad place right now. I understand the feeling about taking that step backwards. However, what I personally have learned is to try to be in the moment. It's too easy to get caught up in all of life's situations. With my depression I find that I can only deal with one present issue at a time. Like you, depression has changed many things in my life. I no longer worry about things like retirement. The job market has changed too drastically and I never had college either. So, what will be will be. This is my second setback with depression. The first episode was 6 years ago and yet here I am again. That being said, I firmly believe that there can be full recovery. Also, I remember how I felt before this episode came on. I felt wonderfully normal. I know that I will get better again and this time I will work harder to insure that the mental weight I carry is at a minimum. Life is too short and full of good things. Just wondering? Do you speak with a therapist about your concerns? I see one weekly and it has helped me to put issues where they belong so I don't obsess about them like I used to. Maybe you should look into it. Have faith. Take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself. It will get better. Blessings and peace to you.........................POPI

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi johnboy,

Sorry you are in such a bad place right now. I understand the feeling about taking that step backwards. However, what I personally have learned is to try to be in the moment. It's too easy to get caught up in all of life's situations. With my depression I find that I can only deal with one present issue at a time. Like you, depression has changed many things in my life. I no longer worry about things like retirement. The job market has changed too drastically and I never had college either. So, what will be will be. This is my second setback with depression. The first episode was 6 years ago and yet here I am again. That being said, I firmly believe that there can be full recovery. Also, I remember how I felt before this episode came on. I felt wonderfully normal. I know that I will get better again and this time I will work harder to insure that the mental weight I carry is at a minimum. Life is too short and full of good things. Just wondering? Do you speak with a therapist about your concerns? I see one weekly and it has helped me to put issues where they belong so I don't obsess about them like I used to. Maybe you should look into it. Have faith. Take it one day at a time and be kind to yourself. It will get better. Blessings and peace to you.........................POPI

popi thanks for advice. I stopped at a therapist office today and will start to see him next week. I'am just so worried right now about the furture and everything that is out of my control. I hope things too will get better. Thanks again.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi johnboy,

I look at depression as I would lots of other physical illness. Changes take place in everyone physically and mentally, and we often, more or less learn to adapt.

We structure our lives to accommodate the changes and try and lead a full life as possible in spite of any physical changes that occur.

It is the same with depression/MI in general, we can never predict that and end will come and we will be fully restored, however changes have taken place both physically and psychologically , we take meds and have a remission. This could be for good, or for 2,3,5 years plus.

In the meantime we do the best we can to remain depression free, we learn CBT skills and how not to get depressed again due to rumination etc.

But the body works in a different way and we are often surprised either for good or not so good reasons , we have our up and downs and depression and MI is just like that.

So in my opinion I just make the best of each day, and fight through the odd days - but I keep on going regardless.

Best Wishes

Jim Bow

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I know so well how you feel. For the past 6 months I have woken up every morning in a panic, wondering what that day's obsession will be .... will I be laid off? Will we lose the house? Will I lose my health insurance? How will we be able to retire? Will my husband get sicker than he is and be unable to work at all? Just last month I wrote down in my notebook 18 things I am worried about. 80% of them are things I can do nothing about, or nothing more than I am currently doing. And yet my body is in a constant flight or fight response. It's miserable.

But it must get better and I'll tell you why. Three months ago I tried to xxx myself. Now I am on Lithium and Lexapro and I no longer want to be dead. My depression is lifting, though my anxiety is still there, but that is getting better too. I am doing some work on the side for some extra money. Last night I watched something funny on TV and I laughed. I am coming home from work and making dinner instead of laying on the couch.

I am keeping a daily diary of my thoughts and feelings so I can be objective and objectively, I am getting better. I still have a long, long way to go to get to where I was before last March - I am worried I may never get there. As long as we are in the recession and I could lose my job I don't think I will be able to stop worrying. But I look at my co-workers and they are carrying on about their lives. My goal is to be able to do that, and laugh sometimes.

With medication, talk therapy, and preferably both, you will begin to lift yourself out of that black hole. I know this because it is slowly happening to me. :hearts:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I know so well how you feel. For the past 6 months I have woken up every morning in a panic, wondering what that day's obsession will be .... will I be laid off? Will we lose the house? Will I lose my health insurance? How will we be able to retire? Will my husband get sicker than he is and be unable to work at all? Just last month I wrote down in my notebook 18 things I am worried about. 80% of them are things I can do nothing about, or nothing more than I am currently doing. And yet my body is in a constant flight or fight response. It's miserable.

But it must get better and I'll tell you why. Three months ago I tried to xxx myself. Now I am on Lithium and Lexapro and I no longer want to be dead. My depression is lifting, though my anxiety is still there, but that is getting better too. I am doing some work on the side for some extra money. Last night I watched something funny on TV and I laughed. I am coming home from work and making dinner instead of laying on the couch.

I am keeping a daily diary of my thoughts and feelings so I can be objective and objectively, I am getting better. I still have a long, long way to go to get to where I was before last March - I am worried I may never get there. As long as we are in the recession and I could lose my job I don't think I will be able to stop worrying. But I look at my co-workers and they are carrying on about their lives. My goal is to be able to do that, and laugh sometimes.

With medication, talk therapy, and preferably both, you will begin to lift yourself out of that black hole. I know this because it is slowly happening to me. :hearts:

Thanks Tovah, your post lifted my spirits.

I too, wonder whether I will feel sane again and if I do, how long it will last.

When I laugh again, I will celebrate that laugh. I remember that that laugh is usually the first real step in recovery.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...