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Don't know what to say here. Looking for some support maybe. 34 male. I've been living with depression as long as I can remember. Looking forward to hopefully talking with some people that understand what its like.

Welcome, Matt.

You're in a very wonderful place here...glad to have you!

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Don't know what to say here. Looking for some support maybe. 34 male. I've been living with depression as long as I can remember. Looking forward to hopefully talking with some people that understand what its like.

Welcome to DF, matt61375

You've come to the right for support. We all know depression well and what it does to us. Make yourself comfort able, join in any room or you may start a topic of your own on the forum.

Sheepwoman

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Hi Everyone.

This is my frist step in talking about my depression.

I been living with depression for approx 10 years, but I have always did my best to hide from family and friends.

Over the last fews years it has gotten very bad and it seems I cannot hide this from people who are close to me.

Also, im very tired hiding this and have the urge to come forward and face this, instead of hiding from it.

I am 34yr old male.

Over the years I found myself getting into a "rut" for a few weeks/months. I would always look to make a major change in my life such as moving to a new apartment or city, but after a short while I would get back into my rut.

I have never gone to the doctor or mentioned this to anyone, specifically becase I never wanted my "issue" documented and I would be on the books as having mental health issues. Also, I am not a fan of perscriptions and realize that I would likely be given this when I go to the doctor.

The last few years it has gotten really bad, I have stopped talking to ALL of my friends.

I have no social life and have cut off everyone important to me except my immediate family members.

Here are a few major things which my depression has affected my life.

~ daily highs and lows, one moment I feel on top of the world and great, but a few hours later I feel very low.

~ I work full time, but outside of work I sleep alot, 10 plus hours a night, plus on weekends I will nap 4-5 hours on sat and sun aswell.

~ I have a high level of anxiety, I worry about things all the time and cannot get things out of my mind. I worry about the most simple things that I worry about for hours/days.

~ A few years ago I moved away from my family and friends for work for 2 years. During this time I went thru a entire 1 year period where I would work...then go straight to bed...approx 14 hours every day....on weekends I would go out for a few hours, but mostly was just in bed the entire time. I did this for a entire year......

~ I have gained ALOT of weight over the last few years and it is now affecting my health.

~ I work full time and my depression is now affecting my job. I find it very hard to get out of bed to work and dread sitting at my desk to work, all I want to do is go back to bed and sleep.

Its gotten to the point where my family MUST know that I have a serious problem and feel that I need to get help.

I am scared that if I do not step forward now and attempt to get help, that my mental health will continue to get bad and my quality of life will be deminished.

I am hoping that taking the steps forward will lead me in the right direction and take control of my life.

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Hi Everyone.

This is my frist step in talking about my depression.

I been living with depression for approx 10 years, but I have always did my best to hide from family and friends.

Over the last fews years it has gotten very bad and it seems I cannot hide this from people who are close to me.

Also, im very tired hiding this and have the urge to come forward and face this, instead of hiding from it.

I am 34yr old male.

Over the years I found myself getting into a "rut" for a few weeks/months. I would always look to make a major change in my life such as moving to a new apartment or city, but after a short while I would get back into my rut.

I have never gone to the doctor or mentioned this to anyone, specifically becase I never wanted my "issue" documented and I would be on the books as having mental health issues. Also, I am not a fan of perscriptions and realize that I would likely be given this when I go to the doctor.

The last few years it has gotten really bad, I have stopped talking to ALL of my friends.

I have no social life and have cut off everyone important to me except my immediate family members.

Here are a few major things which my depression has affected my life.

~ daily highs and lows, one moment I feel on top of the world and great, but a few hours later I feel very low.

~ I work full time, but outside of work I sleep alot, 10 plus hours a night, plus on weekends I will nap 4-5 hours on sat and sun aswell.

~ I have a high level of anxiety, I worry about things all the time and cannot get things out of my mind. I worry about the most simple things that I worry about for hours/days.

~ A few years ago I moved away from my family and friends for work for 2 years. During this time I went thru a entire 1 year period where I would work...then go straight to bed...approx 14 hours every day....on weekends I would go out for a few hours, but mostly was just in bed the entire time. I did this for a entire year......

~ I have gained ALOT of weight over the last few years and it is now affecting my health.

~ I work full time and my depression is now affecting my job. I find it very hard to get out of bed to work and dread sitting at my desk to work, all I want to do is go back to bed and sleep.

Its gotten to the point where my family MUST know that I have a serious problem and feel that I need to get help.

I am scared that if I do not step forward now and attempt to get help, that my mental health will continue to get bad and my quality of life will be deminished.

I am hoping that taking the steps forward will lead me in the right direction and take control of my life.

:hearts: to DF bkid,

I am sorry you are feeling so down. Maybe a trip to the doctors wouldn't be such a bad idea. Most times meds help to get rid of depression and then it is easier to live a full and happy life. Alot of people do! Hopefully you will read some of the sicess storys here on DF that people have moved on to better happier and healthy lives. I hope you find your way soon.

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Hi Everyone.

This is my frist step in talking about my depression.

I been living with depression for approx 10 years, but I have always did my best to hide from family and friends.

Over the last fews years it has gotten very bad and it seems I cannot hide this from people who are close to me.

Also, im very tired hiding this and have the urge to come forward and face this, instead of hiding from it.

I am 34yr old male.

Over the years I found myself getting into a "rut" for a few weeks/months. I would always look to make a major change in my life such as moving to a new apartment or city, but after a short while I would get back into my rut.

I have never gone to the doctor or mentioned this to anyone, specifically becase I never wanted my "issue" documented and I would be on the books as having mental health issues. Also, I am not a fan of perscriptions and realize that I would likely be given this when I go to the doctor.

The last few years it has gotten really bad, I have stopped talking to ALL of my friends.

I have no social life and have cut off everyone important to me except my immediate family members.

Here are a few major things which my depression has affected my life.

~ daily highs and lows, one moment I feel on top of the world and great, but a few hours later I feel very low.

~ I work full time, but outside of work I sleep alot, 10 plus hours a night, plus on weekends I will nap 4-5 hours on sat and sun aswell.

~ I have a high level of anxiety, I worry about things all the time and cannot get things out of my mind. I worry about the most simple things that I worry about for hours/days.

~ A few years ago I moved away from my family and friends for work for 2 years. During this time I went thru a entire 1 year period where I would work...then go straight to bed...approx 14 hours every day....on weekends I would go out for a few hours, but mostly was just in bed the entire time. I did this for a entire year......

~ I have gained ALOT of weight over the last few years and it is now affecting my health.

~ I work full time and my depression is now affecting my job. I find it very hard to get out of bed to work and dread sitting at my desk to work, all I want to do is go back to bed and sleep.

Its gotten to the point where my family MUST know that I have a serious problem and feel that I need to get help.

I am scared that if I do not step forward now and attempt to get help, that my mental health will continue to get bad and my quality of life will be deminished.

I am hoping that taking the steps forward will lead me in the right direction and take control of my life.

Welcome to the forum and congrats on taking that often difficult first step to start talking about your problems. I can tell you that you are NOT alone in how you feel. You can conquer this! I have lived with depression all of my life..I know it's not something you just "get over" but you will find that talking about it with people that can you can relate to can help you so much more than you have ever imagined. Glad to have you here.

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Hello all. You can call me Adam, I'm 21 years old. I went through a period of my life that was so dark, I blacked it out. It's left me feeling like I'm missing a very important piece of myself. I don't know what brought it on, but it was the most intense sensation I had ever had....I have a thread on the matter.

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Hello all. You can call me Adam, I'm 21 years old. I went through a period of my life that was so dark, I blacked it out. It's left me feeling like I'm missing a very important piece of myself. I don't know what brought it on, but it was the most intense sensation I had ever had....I have a thread on the matter.

HI Adam, :hearts:

Sorry that you've been through so much at such a relatively young age. I really hope you can somehow find this missing piece and start to feel a bit happier. You're very welcome here!

PRT xx

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Well im going to introduce myself.

Im Lauren, im 20 years old.

Ive suffered with Depression and self harm for 8 years.

When i was 12 i was admitted to an psychiatric unit. I spent most of my teenage years there. Until one day i decided that i was going to die in that ward, i decided to run away. I packed my things, left my Mum a note and i got on a plane to another state that night. I stopped taking my meds, i stopped seeing and talking to all of my therapists and my psychiatrist said that because i had left the state she couldnt look after me anymore and if i didnt return after 3 months then i wouldnt be her paitent anymore. They sent the police around looking for me, but they couldnt make me go back. So here i am at the age of twenty, alone and helpless. So much has happened, so much is still happening and i cant cope...so ive come here....

Welcome, Lauren!

I'm pretty new to DF myself, but so far, it's been a great place to find support and help. There are many others here who struggle with the same kinds of things that you do (everyone is different, of course), and they are all very willing to lend advice or just an open ear.

Blessings,

Clementine

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I have no freaking idea why I'm even here. There is no reason for me to be here. I have awesome friends and family without whom I would be even worse then I have been. While I've never been officially diagnosed with depression there is little doubt in my mind what the prognosis would be. I'm 19 going on 20 in August and quite frankly have absolutely no self-esteem at all. I hate who I am and sometimes think everyone I know would be better off without me. I'm not self destructive (yet) but I'm self-Apathetic. Until something actually goes right in my life I feel like I just don't have any energy to try anything anymore. I've tried over and over again to make something positive happen with my life but I never get anything that sticks. No matter what I do it seems like my life is stuck on a constant loops and is going absolutely nowhere.

Here is what is going for me:

1.) I'm a student at one of the top universities in my state

2.) People (supposedly) think I'm a great person but I don't know why

3.) My friends know the state I'm in and choose to have me around anyways

4.) I'm not autistic like my younger brother.

5.) For the most part I can see the good in other people, at least I would like to think.

But then there is this other side of me that keeps telling me what a failure I am. I was always one of the top students in high school with a GPA of 3.8 so of course my perfectionist ways make me feel like I'm a loser for only getting about a 3.0 gpa. I had to give up on my first plans at a higher education and as a result the stupid side of my family who has never taken an interest in my life is suddenly looking at me as a ticket to their retirement but looks down on me even though the (explicatives) never even went to college, let alone graduated high school.

And then of course there is the whole male pride issue which always beats me. I'm nearly 20 and have never been in a relationship of any kind. One fling which was enough to let me know what I was missing out on, but didn't last nearly long enough to make it really feel like I had something for any period of time. What's worse is practically all my friends are in some sort of relationship and all I can do is sit back and smile saying "I'm happy for you" when in reality I'm envious of each and every one of them for what they have. But I'm a GUY. I'm not supposed to have these thoughts and feelings am I? I really hate it when people tell me by not knowing loss is better than having feelings and losing them. I don't care what anyone says. For me, it ISN'T. I just want to be able to be somewhat romantic around a woman I care about, but the older I get, the more my hope dwindles and the more my lack of self-confidence builds which only serves to feed my depression, and the less likely I am to ever act on any impulse of attraction.

To make things worse I'm currently living without the internet. And since the net is the standard method of communication now, I just feel like I fall off the face of the planet when I go home from college. The only reason I can post this is because I'm staying with friends right now who have internet access. In 5 days I'm going to lose that and fade away back into obscurity. I just figured I may as well post this now so I can at least bookmark the page and try to vent something. I just hate being a constant cloud that drags a room down with me. I'm depressed and because of that my parents feel like failures when in fact there are times when they and my friends are the only people who keep me going. (Even though I am completely envious of their freaking relationships :P). I'm even MORE depressed because I'm depressed and know it. This constant feeling seems often times cyclic and I feel like there is no way out.

I'm losing hope for anything to ever simply make me happy. I don't know why my friends stick with me. I'm not a fun person to be around these days. There used to be a time where I was confident in myself to a degree where it was borderline arrogance. Where I thought I knew what I was doing and where I was going in life. Now I just don't know anymore and I don't want to be a burden to my friends anymore. I just hate my life and the person I have become. I feel like I have no redeemable qualities.

I know there are people in SO much worse situations in life than me. So why do I still feel so miserable all the time?

Welcome Doorless_Hallway!

You sound like an absolutely wonderful person who's going through some tough depression. Depression can strike anyone, no matter how otherwise healthy or accomplished they are. You will find many others here who have similar feelings (not the same, probably, because everyone's different) and can help you in many different ways. Also, have you tried to see a doctor or a counselor? Colleges usually offer counseling services for free or very cheaply.

One last thing: depression does not make you a failure. It is a serious mental disease that can hurt every part of an affected person's life. If you feel like you're failing in life, that's the depression talking--you yourself are NOT a failure.

Blessings,

Clementine

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Hi there,

I'm Jorge, 21 y/o, I dont feel like i should be here, because i know there is people here with actual depression, but i do have some questions.I really don't know if I'm depressed, I don't think I am, I'm actually a pretty happy person, i hate being mad, i hate negativity, co-workers have actually gotten mad at me for always having a smile on my face, but sometimes i just don't feel the need to live...i just dont want to, i do think about committing suicide quite a bit, I have had these thoughts for a very long time. Its not as if I'm a lonely person or anything, I have friends and stuff, i love my job, I love my family. But why do i feel this way? why do i have these thoughts? Ive thought that the only reason i havnt acted on my thoughts is because i cant obtain the resources that i prefer to act with, and the reason im really happy is to cover something up, but what? Any advise would be great, just msg me.

Very Respectfully,

Jorge

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Hi there,

I'm Jorge, 21 y/o, I dont feel like i should be here, because i know there is people here with actual depression, but i do have some questions.I really don't know if I'm depressed, I don't think I am, I'm actually a pretty happy person, i hate being mad, i hate negativity, co-workers have actually gotten mad at me for always having a smile on my face, but sometimes i just don't feel the need to live...i just dont want to, i do think about committing suicide quite a bit, I have had these thoughts for a very long time. Its not as if I'm a lonely person or anything, I have friends and stuff, i love my job, I love my family. But why do i feel this way? why do i have these thoughts? Ive thought that the only reason i havnt acted on my thoughts is because i cant obtain the resources that i prefer to act with, and the reason im really happy is to cover something up, but what? Any advise would be great, just msg me.

Very Respectfully,

Jorge

Hi and Welcome Jorge

You are more than welcome here no matter what you feel like. Thoughts of suicide are a sure sign that you need professional help and I am no professional, but that pretty much is a huge part of depression. Many people with depression wear a mask and seem happy on the outside. Please seek help for this. There is help. Making a doctors appointment is the best place to start. You can feel better, there is help.

Trace

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Hi there,

I'm Jorge, 21 y/o, I dont feel like i should be here, because i know there is people here with actual depression, but i do have some questions.I really don't know if I'm depressed, I don't think I am, I'm actually a pretty happy person, i hate being mad, i hate negativity, co-workers have actually gotten mad at me for always having a smile on my face, but sometimes i just don't feel the need to live...i just dont want to, i do think about committing suicide quite a bit, I have had these thoughts for a very long time. Its not as if I'm a lonely person or anything, I have friends and stuff, i love my job, I love my family. But why do i feel this way? why do i have these thoughts? Ive thought that the only reason i havnt acted on my thoughts is because i cant obtain the resources that i prefer to act with, and the reason im really happy is to cover something up, but what? Any advise would be great, just msg me.

Very Respectfully,

Jorge

Hello and welcome to DF, Jorge. I agree with what Trace says..I think you should seek some sort of help..You don't necessarily have to be constantly sad and low in order to have depression. Something is going on.

Wishing you the best.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hi

I am 39 and have been living with Social Phobia and Depression since the age of 15. I have become very socially isolated in the past 18 years and rely upon my Dad for a place to live. I have had a girlfriend since the age of 22, who I met during my first hospialisation post suicide attempt, but we do not live togethor as she does not work due to a rape that ended her career.

I have managed to work since I was 14, and have completed a bachelor degree, but I don't have the confidence to use my qualification. I work away on oil rigs as a semi skilled labourer, but I am still broke. I have a work history where I cannot stay in a job for more than 2 years, I either breakdown or try to find something that pays more. I have contemplated suicide a great deal during the past 4 years, but cannot seem to bring myself to do it.

I have great days where I feel optomistic and positive, then s*** seems to happen and remind me that any success I experience is quickly followed by failure.

I have been told that I am quite clever, but being clever does not help me feel better about myself, nor my future. I get sick of trying and things failing. I have this horrible nagging image/thought that my destiny is to end up living on the streets. I do not know where this maladaptive pattern of thinking/behaviour arises from, but it is driving me slowly insane.

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Hi

I am 39 and have been living with Social Phobia and Depression since the age of 15. I have become very socially isolated in the past 18 years and rely upon my Dad for a place to live. I have had a girlfriend since the age of 22, who I met during my first hospialisation post suicide attempt, but we do not live togethor as she does not work due to a rape that ended her career.

I have managed to work since I was 14, and have completed a bachelor degree, but I don't have the confidence to use my qualification. I work away on oil rigs as a semi skilled labourer, but I am still broke. I have a work history where I cannot stay in a job for more than 2 years, I either breakdown or try to find something that pays more. I have contemplated suicide a great deal during the past 4 years, but cannot seem to bring myself to do it.

I have great days where I feel optomistic and positive, then s*** seems to happen and remind me that any success I experience is quickly followed by failure.

I have been told that I am quite clever, but being clever does not help me feel better about myself, nor my future. I get sick of trying and things failing. I have this horrible nagging image/thought that my destiny is to end up living on the streets. I do not know where this maladaptive pattern of thinking/behaviour arises from, but it is driving me slowly insane.

Hi Hamsta, welcome to DF! :hearts:

Things sound pretty tough for you. Social phobia can limit your life more than most things, but I'm glad you have some people there to support you. I am like you with the work issue. Have no confidence even though I have a degree and a postgraduate qualification. I also get itchy feet after a year or two and can't stay there any longer. I'm glad that you can't follow through with hurting yourself, it ould be such a waste.

It sounds like you're internalising a lot of these 'failures' which may actually not all be down to you but down to external circumstances.

Anyway, have a look around the site, I hope you find it useful.

PRT xx

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  • 2 weeks later...
This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF.

If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! :hearts:

Hello,

I have depression and probably a whole bunch of personality disorders! I wanted to join because I am curious about other depressed people's lives and about depression in general and I would like to have a place where I can anonymously get things off my chest. I also hope to meet some nice, kind people here.

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Hi and welcome Mizz_B! :hearts:

Depression is a terrible thing to live with everyday, but this is a place where we can share experiences and gain knowledge and insight into our conditions. Check out the Personality Disorders room, there's all sorts of stuff in there. Have you been to your doctor at all?

Take care xx

This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF.

If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! :flowers:

Hello,

I have depression and probably a whole bunch of personality disorders! I wanted to join because I am curious about other depressed people's lives and about depression in general and I would like to have a place where I can anonymously get things off my chest. I also hope to meet some nice, kind people here.

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This is the place to introduce yourself in Depression Central and to tell us what brings you to DF.

If you have any questions, please send a PM to any moderator as we look forward to getting acquainted with all of you! :flowers:

Hello,

I have depression and probably a whole bunch of personality disorders! I wanted to join because I am curious about other depressed people's lives and about depression in general and I would like to have a place where I can anonymously get things off my chest. I also hope to meet some nice, kind people here.

Welcome, Mizz B!

:hearts:

This is a great place to make friends and read about others' lives and how we all relate to each other in some way. It's great to have you here.

xo

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Hi,

My name is Kim and I've been battling depression for 20 yrs.

I'm happy to find a place, where I can be open and honest about my depression.

I'm looking forward to not only learning, but also sharing my experiences with depression. :hearts:

Hi and Welcome to DF Kim

It is great to have you here and DF is a safe place, where you can be yourself and not be judged.

I am looking forward to reading your experiences.

Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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hello, I've been on DF before but I didn't stay too long, and I cannot for the life of me remember why. Anyway I decided

to try it out again and umm... I can't believe how it's grown... massive. Enormous. Etc.

So.. I have depression, PTSD, Anxiety attacks, Social Anxiety, I self-harm, and I think I am bi-polar, but I have yet to have this one diagnosed... I am waiting for an counselling appointment at the moment.

My conditions/illnesses have worsened recently.

well that's me.

me

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Hi, Sepultricpete!

Welcome to the forum, or rather welcome back to the forum :)

It`s a pretty big community, there are a lot of different people here supporting each other. I`m sorry to hear that your condition has worsened, but it`s good that you`re having a counselling appointment!

If you have any questions, just PM any moderator.

ChrystalR

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Hi, Sepultricpete!

Welcome to the forum, or rather welcome back to the forum :)

It`s a pretty big community, there are a lot of different people here supporting each other. I`m sorry to hear that your condition has worsened, but it`s good that you`re having a counselling appointment!

If you have any questions, just PM any moderator.

ChrystalR

Thanks

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Hi. I'm 20, and I've been struggling with things for as long as I can remember. I dropped out of school at 16 due to social anxiety and mostly isolated myself since then. I've just lost a relationship that saved my life and gave me hope, but ended unbelievably bitterly and has left me wanting to die. I don't work, and have no one to turn to. I have no confidence in myself, ambition, or plans for my future. All I do is sit in bed all day thinking about the love of my life and the abusive guy she's with now.

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Hi. I'm 20, and I've been struggling with things for as long as I can remember. I dropped out of school at 16 due to social anxiety and mostly isolated myself since then. I've just lost a relationship that saved my life and gave me hope, but ended unbelievably bitterly and has left me wanting to die. I don't work, and have no one to turn to. I have no confidence in myself, ambition, or plans for my future. All I do is sit in bed all day thinking about the love of my life and the abusive guy she's with now.

Hi and Welcome mr kaplan

I am so sorry that your relationship ended, that is a huge trigger for depression. I hope we can help you find the motivation that you need to find yourself and feel better. You may also find the Relationship Room beneficial.

Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

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