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xora

Jittery Around People

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This seems like such a minute problem to a few people I've encountered who are not knowledgeable of social anxiety. Unfortunate, it's an issue that has damaged valued areas in my life in one way or the other; work/school, social and intimacy. A professional I speak to once in awhile often points out not to rush to "catch up" with other people in regards to these three things; that there is no race in life. However, being in my late twenties, I can't help but feel humiliated that I am still struggling with social issues. SA has interfered with employment and education, repeatedly, through my life. As for relationships: Over the past five years I've pushed myself in terms of developing friendships, even though currently I only consider a few people as friends. However, I've never been involved with anyone romantically which is embarrassing to admit. Just thinking of the latter brings on a new slew of insecurities and doubts about simple things like dating. Much less the loneliness and depression.

Is there anyone who can relate to this? Often I wish I were able to relax and naturally enjoy myself around other people, even mingle, without feeling awkward and disappointed in myself.

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This seems like such a minute problem to a few people I've encountered who are not knowledgeable of social anxiety. Unfortunate, it's an issue that has damaged valued areas in my life in one way or the other; work/school, social and intimacy. A professional I speak to once in awhile often points out not to rush to "catch up" with other people in regards to these three things; that there is no race in life. However, being in my late twenties, I can't help but feel humiliated that I am still struggling with social issues. SA has interfered with employment and education, repeatedly, through my life. As for relationships: Over the past five years I've pushed myself in terms of developing friendships, even though currently I only consider a few people as friends. However, I've never been involved with anyone romantically which is embarrassing to admit. Just thinking of the latter brings on a new slew of insecurities and doubts about simple things like dating. Much less the loneliness and depression.

Is there anyone who can relate to this? Often I wish I were able to relax and naturally enjoy myself around other people, even mingle, without feeling awkward and disappointed in myself.

I can absolutely relate. Social Anxiety is the root of all my problems. Paxil is specifically made to help combat this disorder. Maybe you could discuss this with your doc to see if it might help you.

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xora,

I have SA when I am around people I do not know. I become rather concerned and nervous. I have been in Therapy for a long time and I have not figured out how to relax around strangers. I choose to think positive, about my ability to communicate and socialize with loved ones and friends. Maybe there is a form of communication that you feel comfortable with?

Doug

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I can absolutely relate. Social Anxiety is the root of all my problems. Paxil is specifically made to help combat this disorder. Maybe you could discuss this with your doc to see if it might help you.

I've never taken Paxil although I have tried a small variety of meds. Some have helped, some haven't. I suppose the problem is being able to sufficiently and consistently combat my own issues as meds can't do everything. :hearts:

Edited by xora

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xora,

I have SA when I am around people I do not know. I become rather concerned and nervous. I have been in Therapy for a long time and I have not figured out how to relax around strangers. I choose to think positive, about my ability to communicate and socialize with loved ones and friends. Maybe there is a form of communication that you feel comfortable with?

Doug

I'm not sure what you mean about being comfortable with a form of communication? Like you, I also get anxious around strangers. Thankfully it seems to diminish once I get to know a person. Still, first impressions go a long way. Not to mention such a thing can be strenuous in a job that requires a lot of customer/people interaction. Usually I try to calm my breath and sort out any irrational thoughts.

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Hey xora

I can relate as others on here can. Im 35 and have social anxiety whne my depression drags me down. Normally i can function well in the world but i still have moments of SA. I have this thing about making a fool of myself, im terrified that i'll faint or vomit or loose control and do something irrational. Its a mix of fear and disapproval. However on the flip side of that is that not only am i out going and loud i also look a certain way that would guarantee that people will look at me. I also start converstaions with strangers and have had some amazing encounters with total strangers.

Sometimes My biggest SA is with people i know, my peer group or sub culture, even my friends. I feel such enormous pressure sometimes to 'behave' even though i never actually act irrationally! My depression makes it so much worse that i was trying to isolate myself and using the credit crunch was a perfect excuse. Im doing better now, on propanolol for my anxiety x 2 day and AD's and manage to stay course last night on a night out. I eventually told my closest friends and they have been very supportive.

It can be difficult for othes to understand but even harder to understand ourselves and i think learning accept that we can feel like this is the first step. Ive been using CBT and it has helped a little bit.

Hope this helps and makes you see your not alone

xFX

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duggie: Yeah, I guess it is a mild meditation. Awhile ago I took a 3-day weekend seminar (free) called the Art of Living. It focused on different breathing techniques that can be beneficial for people who suffer from anxiety. It does calm me so I try to use it whenever I become nervous.

faerie: I wouldn't describe myself as outgoing but I understand what you mean about having a fear of disapproval. I also tend to isolate myself when I'm severely depressed...I'm glad CBT is has helped you. I've never been able to commit to it myself but when I do use it I find it does make a difference.

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I am getting much better with SA. I started with small steps shopping early monday mornings when the crowds where small.

I also made the habit of saying to people when i walk by "hi How are you today" they usually say fine and walk on but it help me out alot to be able to talk to strangers. it was a little step now i can make small talk all the time to a fault.

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I have pretty bad social anxiety. Going to school every day and feeling the anxiety emotionally and physically drains me. I also hate going anywhere in public because people trigger my negative/worried thoughts.

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Yep, I too get jittery and nervous. Even around acquaintances. Before I came down with anxiety I was very outgoing. But now when I'm out my chest knots up for about 10 minutes. usually I can ride it out and after a bit I'm OK. but sometimes I have to excuse myself. It's got better over time provided you face it and gradually work your way up so to speak. Hiding, which I did for some time , made it much, much worse. I think what sets me off is the fear of a panic attack hitting me hard in a public place and causing a scene which can be humiliating.

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Yep, I too get jittery and nervous. Even around acquaintances. Before I came down with anxiety I was very outgoing. But now when I'm out my chest knots up for about 10 minutes. usually I can ride it out and after a bit I'm OK. but sometimes I have to excuse myself. It's got better over time provided you face it and gradually work your way up so to speak. Hiding, which I did for some time , made it much, much worse. I think what sets me off is the fear of a panic attack hitting me hard in a public place and causing a scene which can be humiliating.

I can totally relate to that!!!

I found that being ques use to really freak me out aswell as public transport. I would feel like not only was i hemmed in but i would make an absolute ***** of myself which send me into a spiral of nausea and sweats.

what helps me now is breaking it down and looking at the evidence of the threat i feel. I also just tell myself that i am a free person and i can just leave.

xFx

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I have pretty bad social anxiety. Going to school every day and feeling the anxiety emotionally and physically drains me. I also hate going anywhere in public because people trigger my negative/worried thoughts.

Same here. Not having problems with SA wouldn't fix my depression, but SA does inhibit making relationships.. and once you're alone, depression can seem much much worse.

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Same here. Not having problems with SA wouldn't fix my depression, but SA does inhibit making relationships.. and once you're alone, depression can seem much much worse.

I feel even more alone now that social anxiety caused me to push away the friends I did have.

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Hi xora,

I can relate to what you're saying so you can take confort in the fact that you're not alone.

You said you've tried a few meds, maybe you could talk with your doctor about giving them another go. I know theres a stigma attached to taking medication to able to hack your life, but they really are a life saver for some.

Send me an IM in you ever want someone to talk with.

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ive been shy most of my life and it developed into socail phobia i hardly ever go out and find it really difficult to mingle with people actually ill do anything to avoid it i get ideas about people in my head and get afraid they will think negatively of me and worry about it and it will snowball and ill avoid confrontation all together

i havent been into a shop for years at times i find it hard to step out the house-its difficult because i have a 7 year old son and a ortner i dont drive- but my partner does even going outside and getting into the car to go somewhere with him makes me anxious hell go shoppiong and ill just stay in the car and if im feeling really s***ty ill sit at the back because theres tinited windows at the back!!

yea does this sound really crazy? writing it i think it does but it feels so REAL the fear feels so real

i also have problems with my weight i hate the way i look im not obese just carrying extra pounds and i hate it! ive had this weight obsession and body image problem for ages

a few years back i joined a womens gym it was the hardest thing ive had to do in years i started forcing myself to go regularly i think i started getting obsessed with it id walk there do like a 2-3 hour workout then walk home i lost abit of weight and got really skinny and felt great but inside i was starting to feel the strain and burden of making myself go every day i had to burn a certain amount of calories everything i was controlling severely i ended up backing off then stopped going entirely

i tried going back but it was too hard and i was really embarrased about the weight i had put on-now i wouldnt dream of going back-i made a few freinds which was surprising for me but lost contact with them

i dont have any freinds -it can be lonelthe last time at the gym was september last year

id find going in the most nerve wracking for me because i never knew who would be at the front desk and i would get really nervous swiping my gym card in and saying hello and also leaving and saying goodbye

feel free to email me

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The last relapse I had with depression came with a ton of anxiety and socializing was impossible. What helped was getting on an ad, and getting my mind to stop with all the negative 'chattering' is was doing. I had the thing where you start telling yourself that you aren't good enough, where your self esteem takes a dive and you start thinking people will find you odd.... a real negative idea to combat when you're feeling depressed. The anxiety about saying the wrong thing or making some kind of social blunder were really a figment of negative ideation as I'm fairly restraint around people unless I know them really well. It took lots of positive self statements on top of the meds to get me back out there. Saying to yourself that you can do...... really helps. It's so difficult to change negative thinking once it starts and you're fighting the urge to just throw in the towel and say home.....

Maybe taking small steps is where it's at for social anxiety. Just going to the grocery store was such an anxiety-provoking act for me. I had to get food in the house, but the urge to leave the cart vs. standing in the checkout line was so strong. I think about how anxious I was back then and know my brain chemistry was out of wack!

Jackie

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