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Christopher

Mean Comments You Still Think About Years Later

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If I had a dollar for every time my sister told me to **** myself, I would've been able to pay the hospital bills from my suicide attempts... She told me I was worthless, stupid, pathetic, evil, and not only would my life never go anywhere but I was ruining everyone else's around me while I stuck around. And then she told me I was "ridiculous" and "over-dramatic" and an "attention-*****" when I would get back from the hospital/rehab. She still treats me this way and we're both old enough to know better (her to not say things like that when I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and a slew of other things and me to let her speak to me that way). Even when I have nightmares to myself I just have to remind myself over and over again that I am worth it, that I'm here for a reason, and the sun will rise.

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It's so annoying how you just can't make yourself forget these things.. There comes a point where you've thought about a comment so many times that you know you'll always remember it, even though it shouldn't matter. This thread makes me kinda sad too. I hope it makes people realize that the things people have said aren't necessarily true. A lot of what I've read has been said to me, and I think a lot of it can be put down to lack of understanding about the illness. The one I most remember is my dad always telling me to get a life when I was depressed as a teenager. He never asked why I just lay in my room all weekend, just mocked and even seemed disgusted at me for doing so. Also when family/friends came to visit and asked me what kind of things I did, he would always tell them I never went out, which was really embarrassing..

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Guest Lumetar

Yes. It is very sad that I did not understand how they do not have rights to say things like that or treat me like that. And I wish I was understand that sooner. I wish someone was taught me to see how meanless are peoples words.

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It amazes me how much bigotry towards the mentally ill exists in society. It needs to be stamped out. Just like racism, homophobia, etc. are being stamped out (though obviously they still exist. Especially homophobia). It's hard to have a positive view of humanity when you read these comments. Recently I've been realizing though that it's often the case that these people aren't exactly bad. They're just very ignorant (ignorant doesn't necessarily mean you're a jerk. It just means that you aren't very knowledgeable about something and due to mental laziness, you jump to conclusions about people with a certain characteristic.) I'm pretty sure that some of my relatives, friends, co-workers, etc. would have thought I was a "loser" had they not been exposed to my positive qualities first and made their judgment based on my condition and the flaws that come with it.

Edited by derrickb

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Some people call me selfish, and that hurts me so very badly because I always put everyone else before myself. I've never done anything for myself so that hurts the most. I truly love helping others. My grandfather says that my entire family hates me, I'm selfish, I'm a burden on my family etc.

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One night my mother was having a allergic reaction and I took her to the hospital she thought she was having a hart attack they gave her some medicine but she couldnt drive home so I took care of her and got a taxi for us. She wanted to lie to the doctors and say we had a ride so she could drive home. I know she wasn't in the "right" mind but she when I helped her out of the car she pushed me away saying that I was what was wrong with her life and that she never wanted anything to do with me. Sometimes when I spiral more downward on bad days I think about that.

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Guest forgettingsociety

Let's see. I have completely lost trust in anyone i meet or know now...and fear i will always be afraid to become social again, mostly because:\

From high-school coaches: "You will never make it in college, you're a *****, you overreact too much"+... (I ended up all city, all state, and all american my senior year, got a good scholarship to a huge school)...but that was just the beginning of the depression and i still think about what they've said

College coaches: You will never be good enough to play division 1 ncaa sports, you should just quit, why did we ever sign you and give you a scholarship (if i'd perform well one day in a game or practice, no sympathy or a pat on the back, but all the "favorites" would get hugs and high fives all over)

Friends: You have no reason to be depressed, (i wanted to, and am now a DJ) "why don't you go **** timbaland or flo-rida or just **** yourself", it's no one elses problem but your own, you need to go to church, you need the bible (i've lost literally every friend i have to this because i became anti-social...even ones who have been my best friends for years)

Church members: (i don't attend the church i used to, for about 2 years now) and i still hear from them "he's become rebellious, he is into drugs..."

Brother: you have serious issues, you need to learn to get over it

sister: the only reason you act like this is because you were babied as a child (i'm the youngest) and you don't know how to cope in society (even though i live 1500 miles from home and she is dying to move back to the same city as my parents as a 30 year old)

and i feel like everyone, even people i don't know just stare at me when i walk into a store or out of my house to walk my dog. I know they probably really aren't, but i've lost trust in everyone and it's almost like...well this is a bad example, but let's say you smoked some pan and went in public. Your'e going to think, "everyone knows, everyons is staring at me and talking about me" when they probably aren't. But I feel like that 24/7, without the high

I haven't had a major tragedy in my family, my parents say they understand but i dont think they really do (they say they do because it runs in my family, and i used to be pretty popular); so it seems like i really shouldn't have a problem to everyone else, even on this forum because so many people have had worse things happen and said to them...

....who is left to trust? i guess no one...i don't want to die, but i just don't want to exist anymore

Edited by forgettingsociety

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I think what we should take from this thread is the amazing strength that we all have.

Not only do we have to deal with mental illness (which is hard enough) but add to that the lack of understanding and compassion from the ones we love the most is awful.

And every single person who replied has survived and is surviving.

That gives me so much hope and appreciation for this site and its incredible members.

Best wishes to you all

jaclyn

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I can't think of any comments specifically besides, " Why don't you " keel " yourself? " But, the one moment in my life that still haunts me is when I was 10 years old and my mother just flat out said I wasn't her son anymore and disowned me for no reason at all. From that point on, I had to take care of myself which.. I wasn't used to. I basically grew up in a day and because of that, I had no enjoyable youth or anything which I think really made me more depressed than I would have ever been without it.

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Hmm lemme think... Loser, failiure, a waste of space, wish you were d**d, why don't you **** yourself.. That's just from within my "family"

Many more I'm sure. These things used to really get to me, but now as a result of constantly being put down, I couldn't care less. Sure they're all comments from people I'm supposed to love, but that word alone is pretty much d**d to me let alone having the capacity to feel it.

Hehe now because of my general disregard for everything and everyone I'm called heartless, cruel and sick. Ironic really. :)

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"get over yourself. anxiety attacks aren't accepted in the real world. you should just stop going to college now."

basically everyone's been telling me to get over it or myself.

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When I was a child my grandmother would tell my mother she didn't know what was wrong with me and my mother needed to send me back.

One comment that doesn't have to do with mental illness but was said by my brother on my wedding day. He said "When your kids look at your wedding photos their going to ask "mom, dad why are you so fat"" What a thing to say on your wedding day... too bad I actually invited him.

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My brother used to call me a fat b**** all the time.

My only ex-boyfriend, who cheated on me with two other girls, and also sexually abused me called me a slut. He also said things like, "I'd be mad if you'd lose your virginity to anyone but me". I broke things off with him, but I am still having trouble dealing with that.

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Three really stand out.

"I knew when I got involved with you what your mother was like, so I was kind of expecting this." (My mother is bi-polar, BPD, physically & mentally abusive - I have mid-grade depression and ADD. That hurt.)

"I love you, but I don't really like you..." (father-in-law, a German "suck it up" old-school guy who thinks depression is a personal defect)

"You're trying hard, I see that, but... I just can't." (former friend)

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My parents have said a lot of hurtful things, but the ones that really stuck are "lazy" and "stop pushing it on other people".

I was in the hospital recently and as they walked me upstairs the crisis worker said "it's a type of personality disorder. it's called asking for attention" and they taunted me about "playing games" the whole way there. I was unbelievably glad to get my sedative later on. I've always worked so, so hard so that no one ever told me I was playing games or attention seeking or working the system, and I got really sick and it crumbled to bits.

A lot of people have told me that I'm weak-willed and that psych meds are just crutches I lean on to support my weakness.

It's hard not to believe them when people are telling you these things so consistently, I think it's something I'll have trouble with for a long time.

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I can clearly remember when I was in 6th grade, my own mother telling me that I must be mentally ill when I brought home a bad report card from school. Still cuts like a knife when I think about it.

Edited by JerseyFrank

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I grew up in a very reserved family. No hugs or kisses. My mom told me my birth was a mistake.

Years later, I asked my father to help me come up with ideas for a new job. He had given me a suggestion once before which I didn't follow because it would mean leaving my partner and moving to another state. So his reply was "I'm not going to suggest anything. I tried that before. People don't take advice from others; they do what they want to do". Never asked for anything from him again.

That didn't bother me so much as the time shortly afterwards when I was having a hard time at work and my partner was leaving me, I became very depressed and was trying to get support from family whom had I drifted away from. I finally got up the courage to tell my mom "I love you", and her reply was, "I don't believe in love. It's a transient thing. If I love for a little while, I don't need to say it because I know it will soon be gone". I've never said those words again, to anyone. Nor have I loved anyone.

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There were a lot of nasty things said to me as a child, but the thing that cut me to the bone was about 2 years ago when I was visiting my parents. My mom's dog dragged some of the contents of my bag of toiletries out into the room, and my mom gathered them up read the pill bottles. There was Wellbutrin and at the time, Lamictal. I had never mentioned my problems to them and felt kind of busted, but didn't expect the reaction I got because my mom is depressed as well.

She just made this bitter laugh and asked what reason I could possibly have to be depressed, and what was Lamictal for anyways? SHE had a reason to be depressed for years, she had me and my brother and was always a "hard working woman". But what the hell was my problem? Tan uneven or something like that? And told me what a ridiculous person I turned out to be.

People can call you cuss words and says all sorts of horrible things, but when your own mother finds you ridiculous, it's beyond painful.

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All throughout elementary and junior high school, the kids use to call me a moose or a horse because I have a big nose. This greatly affected my self-esteem though I did go on to graduated from college and have a successful career. But it was hard for me to accept compliments from men even when I may have even thought I looked niced. I just felt like men didn't find me attractive when some many have given me such wonderful compliments. I'm still learning to love me and I do.

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Psycotic, delusional, living in another world, incapable of doing anything right. Want to hear more, I can tell loads more, all said to me by my mother. All of which are not true about me.

Trace

Just from your postings, I can tell you're a genuinely caring person who wants to help others. You choose your words very carefully, and you're very consistent. You wouldn't be able do that if your mother was right!

I know you know she was wrong, but I wanted you to know it's obvious, even to people who've never met you.

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My Dad would tell me ... " You can't do it that way " over and over and over again about anything that was my own idea. Either it was his idea or it just wouldn't work. He also asked me what "my" problem was and sent me to therapists as a kid to figure out what "my" problem was, even had an arrangement where the therapist(s) called him after the sessions and told him what I said... for which I was yelled at for whatever I said to the therapist.

He told me one day that if he was to buy the gun...would I do everyone the favor of shooting myself ?

I translated most of what he said that I was dumb and stupid, a worthless piece of garbage incapable of doing anything on my own. If I didnt ( and don't ) follow "his" plan, then whatever plan I had just wouldn't work. Everything "I" did ( and do ) is worthless and meaningless, and several things I did complete were merely a waste of time.

When I was a kid, I built a model airplane, and spent alot of effort and time on it, when I showed my Dad, he called it horsedung and smashed it against the wall.

Even though I live 1200 miles away, he still calls me to provide me with his weekly dose of " You're a loser " screaming pep talk.

I fall for his traps of when he says he is sorry and then lays out some cash as a gesture of his "good" intentions, and then I end up worse than before...obligated to his "generosity".

What a horrible excuse for a parent. You are amazing for continuing to give him a chance.

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Psycotic, delusional, living in another world, incapable of doing anything right. Want to hear more, I can tell loads more, all said to me by my mother. All of which are not true about me.

Trace

Just from your postings, I can tell you're a genuinely caring person who wants to help others. You choose your words very carefully, and you're very consistent. You wouldn't be able do that if your mother was right!

I know you know she was wrong, but I wanted you to know it's obvious, even to people who've never met you.

Hi Lori

Thanks. :flowers:

Trace

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Before my mental problems were officially diagnosed (but when they were glaringly obvious), my abusive ex-boyfriend liked to make fun of me. "You'll wear mascara tomorrow just so everyone knows when you're crying" was one of my favorites.

After I was diagnosed, he toned it down a little bit, especially after he started taking Prozac.

We broke up a long time ago, though this year he made it his mission to drunk dial me with the most hate-filled comments he could think of.

His "best of" collection:

"Why should I be talking to you? You're a ****ing nutcase."

"You're worthless; no wonder you tried ******* yourself."

"You should've finished the job." (Referring to the above quote)

The last one got him blocked from my phone -- about two years too late, but hey.

Two of his close friends had statuses about being "bummed" the other day, and for a moment I'd hoped he died.

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Kids uses to call me big nose. I still think about today. I'm ok with it. They have called me worst. I was very quiet and would just let them. Not like that now. I will speak up for the most part.

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