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Christopher

Mean Comments You Still Think About Years Later

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My best friend once implied that I couldn't be sure about the less-than-normal decisions I was making because I "wasn't in my right mind".

Sounds silly but it honestly hurts.

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Family member said that it was all in my head(always hated that statement) I was merely acting depressed, because I was lazy and didn't want to go to work. I love this person very dearly today and they've come to understand me. Still at times this comes out like a sore on my heart.

Edited by springheeledjack70

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OMG :hearts::flowers: Words fail me.

I was going to stop at post 30, but I wanted to get a full understanding, so I read practically all the posts..

Nothing I say will change anything that has happened or how any of you feel. All I can say is that I have the feeling that those nasty parents/relatives/"friends" just are practically devoid of the capability to understand/sympathise or empathise about delicate matters of the mind. I think you have to TRY and forget their comments otherwise it will consume part of your brain power. Just laugh at their ignorance and their lack of compassion if you can...Even after 10 months off work with many cross-linked symptoms of unclarified ADHD/dysthymic disorder, neurosis/ general anxiety/social anxiety/procrastation/you name it etc and possibly love shyness, I still have to blaze at my mother because she does not seem to get it unless I say it in harsh words..... There have been a couple of times when I had a thought dwelling in my mind that next time mum/stepfather talked crap, I was just going to get a nice sharp knife and open up my arm in front of them and let them have some of that blood, just to shock them. I am not that far gone, fortunately for me ( I think.........)

Some people will never, ever understand our problems. Once our brains go into over/underdrive/cyclic negativity blah blah, it's bad news. I am still currently unclarified with my mental illness, so I will be posting on here in due course (I was meant to post today, but I don't feel like it :/ )

I do bow to the power of the internet and to the people who make sites like this and "Please PM Member for link" a reality, instead of just a procrastination mission like it would be for me. Thanks to all who make the effort. It is much appreciated and I know that there are many out there who are too "lost/confused/distracted/tormented" to even think of appreciation...

In my time off, I have learned a lot about psychological issues/causes/traumas and most of it is not exactly rocket science. Neurotransmitters of course and their correct balance as well as correct hormone levels are really the biggest part of the problem.... not forgetting genetic depression and treatment resistant depression of course......

What really annoys me- about me- is that I don't even know why I am the way I am......Anyway, I will post elsewhere soon I hope.

At the moment, though, I am not in the mood.... :(

Oh, for some reason I do seem to have a thirst for text, when it's put in front of me.....even though I have to absorb information in my own time.....as a result of this, I started reading the first post again, but had to pull myself away. The torment.

When will governments' get wise and realise that psychological issues start from a young age, not just from when someone finally appears at the doctors door crying or dying........ Even schools teaching oppostite genders/races how to get on from an early age would be a boon as well. Shame, no one really cares, it seems, or those who did care once, now have lost the spirit to care........

Oh blah blah, there I go again...........sorry for the waffle.........

My best friend once implied that I couldn't be sure about the less-than-normal decisions I was making because I "wasn't in my right mind".

Sounds silly but it honestly hurts.

Family member said that it was all in my head(always hated that statement) I was merely acting depressed, because I was lazy and didn't want to go to work. I love this person very dearly today and they've come to understand me. Still at times this comes out like a sore on my heart.

Edited by Lindsay
Link Removed as per TOS & Removed multiple emoticons

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OK, I hadn't realised when I was a child that I had anxiety problems but... at school I was a high achiever in a couple of subjects and the school (very supportive headmaster) allowed me take the English comprehension/language tests for each year group to see how far I could go, rather than just stick at the test for my own age group. I think I'm going back to being 6 or 7 years old here.

When I was sat in his office waiting for him to come in to start the tests, I heard the school secretary outside the door, discussing me as if I couldn't hear her "That one's really highly strung, she'll have a nervous breakdown before she's 30". That still replays to this day.

More recently, my partner told me that all our problems were my fault because I had taken a three month holiday from work (my GP, after spending four months persuading me that it was the right thing to do, at one point even jamming his foot against his office door to stop me running out in a panic while he calmed me down, signed me off work for 3 months late last year with severe depression).

Not really relevant to the topic but when my Dad died 10 years ago, my mother sat there while I was taking her out for lunch as she was 'all alone' and told me that my Dad wasn't a natural father (as in it didn't come easily to him), never really was able to love me and never believed that I was his. And she somehow expected me to sympathise with her over this, as it had made her life so hard...

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I was educated in a male only catholic school in southend, england (totally wrong idea) and I remember a few things. Namely where male teachers thought they could control the students by shouting at them......... I remember thinking how pathetic some of these "men" were. How utterly pathetic. A bunch of retards who could not get away with talking like that to adults without getting a smack in the face. I think he really needed a slap big time.. A right bunch of rejects........ One pathetic little man was a choir man and wow did he love shouting at kids.........Still it could be worse, 10 years previous and the cane would be wielded onto our bottoms.....Wow, what an evolution eh?

I think that many teacher's certainly do not have the mental training to deal with delicate students...

Anyway, my point is .....how the hell does a secretary have such a big mouth and secondly how would she know about the possibility of mental breakdown before 30.......Is that just deliberately Biotchy and rude and inappropriate or does she understand something about psychology.?

School's should almost be considered secondary parenting + education zones............ but what do they really offer.........?

What's the difference between a male and female couple with a baby and parents with a baby..........The latter actually look after their child with care and love........a benefit which I think truly makes well rounded children capable to love and love themselves (not too much.....)

Who the hell decided that a male and female should be allowed to have children......? No one at all.......

Yet, in England, if you want to adopt, you go through so many questions...........where is the logic? It's all truly messed up.

OK, I hadn't realised when I was a child that I had anxiety problems but... at school I was a high achiever in a couple of subjects and the school (very supportive headmaster) allowed me take the English comprehension/language tests for each year group to see how far I could go, rather than just stick at the test for my own age group. I think I'm going back to being 6 or 7 years old here.

When I was sat in his office waiting for him to come in to start the tests, I heard the school secretary outside the door, discussing me as if I couldn't hear her "That one's really highly strung, she'll have a nervous breakdown before she's 30". That still replays to this day.

More recently, my partner told me that all our problems were my fault because I had taken a three month holiday from work (my GP, after spending four months persuading me that it was the right thing to do, at one point even jamming his foot against his office door to stop me running out in a panic while he calmed me down, signed me off work for 3 months late last year with severe depression).

Not really relevant to the topic but when my Dad died 10 years ago, my mother sat there while I was taking her out for lunch as she was 'all alone' and told me that my Dad wasn't a natural father (as in it didn't come easily to him), never really was able to love me and never believed that I was his. And she somehow expected me to sympathise with her over this, as it had made her life so hard...

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I never had any friends in high school and I didn't know why- I honestly can't remember a reason ever being said to me. All 4 years of high school I had no friends.

Just recently my dad was here visiting and I had pretty close to a breakdown, and my dad felt the need to come into my bedroom and tell me that my husband was getting really sick of me doing this s*** and that I need to straighten up. This is after being in 3 different mental hospitals in 1 month. We'd always had a good relationship until then, and now that comment won't get out of my head.

I think I need to check myself in to the hospital again.

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"The only interesting conversation I could have offered you had to be wrought with misery or you didn't want to hear it...You have no ambitions. You have no opinions. You have no interests or even cares...How did it never cross your mind that I could so easily get someone so much better than you? So much more motivated? So much more interesting? So much more self-assured? So much more appreciative of me?"

I haven't talked to her (or had a friendly relationship with any woman) since. This was more than a year ago, and it still hurts.

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Guest iowa

I took 2 university classes while a senior in high school then a year and a quarter before stopping to get married. I came back a few years later. I was divorced and had a 1-year-old. The financial aid officer told me that I was "hopeless", that I'd never graduate and may not even make it through one semester. Not only do his words still ring in my ears, but also the unbelief of anyone I've told this to!

Iowa

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Guest CH1980
That I was a selfish B**CH

I've spent most of my life trying to please others and do what others want. The first time that I finally started doing what I want (aka: get a divorce), I was told the same thing---that I was a selfish B----.

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That I was a selfish B**CH

I've spent most of my life trying to please others and do what others want. The first time that I finally started doing what I want (aka: get a divorce), I was told the same thing---that I was a selfish B----.

i hope you two dont still think your selfish all becuz of what some A&& said

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Some of mine...

From my Mum, "you're my daughter, I love you, but I don't like you." That's stayed with me for years.

Plus numerous...lazy, selfish, worthless, ungrateful. I must admit I was grateful when my brother started getting in trouble cause it meant I could hide in my room and not bear the brunt of it...I wish I'd been able to help him a bit more. :hearts:

I remember one day when I was quite young, being chased around the house by my 6ft4 father and locking myself in my room with him screaming on the the other side that he was going to break it open if I didn't come out and then I'd really get it.

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After about 3 months of dating my partner a friend of his asked 'Are you with her (Meaning me) because you love her, or because you feel sorry for her?!!' That one bothered me alot as it makes me feel like a charity case.

Another friend of his who was a Paramedic referred to people suffering from Depression as 'Nutters' in my presence despite knowing about my illness.......Needless to say my partner kicked both of these friends to the kerb :hearts:

Edited by Princessrolo

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The worst hurts always come from the ones you love most.

But I've actually gotten quite good at blanking those negatives out of my head. After all, they can't take back what was said anyway, so you either accept it and move on, or you let it poison you for the rest of your life. I am already pretty good at telling myself I'm worthless; I don't need another person there in my head competing with me.

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From my dad when I had to tell my parents I needed counseling (I was 20 and a student at the time, so everything was under their insurance): "I don't think you need this kind of help. I think if you just got out of bed faster in the morning and prayed more, you'd be just fine."

From one of the counselors I saw (whom I stopped going to after about 6 weeks): "You know honey, we all have a choice. In this case you have a choice to be happy or to stay miserable. It's up to you."

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From my dad when I had to tell my parents I needed counseling (I was 20 and a student at the time, so everything was under their insurance): "I don't think you need this kind of help. I think if you just got out of bed faster in the morning and prayed more, you'd be just fine."

From one of the counselors I saw (whom I stopped going to after about 6 weeks): "You know honey, we all have a choice. In this case you have a choice to be happy or to stay miserable. It's up to you."

People can be so critical, they tend to criticise/comment about something and never want to take some of their time to understand people like us. I still remember a comment made by one of my coworker 'everybody has greater problem that you are and they manage to hide it well, your problem is small and you need to snap over it' and how i wish they knew how hard it is to 'snap out of it' or to 'get over it'. But stay strong kayeselle, theres always hope to recover and feel better again, i know its hard, but there is still hope. I hope things are loking up for you

Love

dandelion

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Guest XxButterflyxX

your a skinny Biotch, you think you r better looking and you love yourself etc (my mum and my 2 sisters said that :( )

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your a skinny Biotch, you think you r better looking and you love yourself etc (my mum and my 2 sisters said that :( )

oh tell them that you have good looks and and that you do love yourself! because you should feel like that and i think they are jealous of you (this is from my observation and oh what i had gone through at school everyday where i need to deal with some of my students' problem)

Dont feel bad about it okay =)

love

dandelion

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"You're boring and dull and I don't know why anyone would want to be your friend." --this one really sucks and makes me second guess my friendships/relationships since hearing it...

lazy, selfish, spoiled, stuck up, whiny-- (some of those from a counselor, one from ex-coworker, a few from ex-bfs)

"why aren't you more like you're cousin?" (who is skinny and beautiful) from my gma who would then tell me no man will want me if I'm not skinnier or if I can't clean house and do dishes right.

my dad once told me he didn't know why he let me move in with him, that he wasn't going to let me take advantage of him, told me to go hide in my room like I always do when I couldn't take it anymore. I couldn't get that night of yelling out of my head for some time.

my mom will always "well why don't you lose some weight?" "You should really eat healthier/exercise"

Those words mean to me that what I am now is not good enough for her.

Had an ex-step father tease me as a little kid (at the most I was probably 9 or 10), "fatty fatty, 2 by 4 can't get thru the kitchen door" and then just grin in my face like it was the best joke ever.

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My high school vice principal once said to me "Why are you even bothering to apply? People like you don't get into college", that really stung. (I did get into college by the way, showed her :shocked: )

the other one that I dwell on is my dear little sister telling me that she thought I was a loser and that it was no wonder I didn't have any friends, family can be so cruel.

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Your thoughts and opinions do not matter

You're starting to scare me, I really think you need mental help

Stop being a drama queen (whenever I cry)

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"You only feel bad because you enjoy it." ***?! I was afraid that the doctor would say the same, so I didn't go there for over 10 years.

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"well if you did not lay there and spread your legs. Your cousins and half brother would not have sexually molested you!" From a mother to her daughter.

BTW I was only 4yrs old when the first cousin started sexually molesting me....

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"You never stick at anything do you? You have no desire to achieve anything with your life, you drop out of everything as soon as it gets a little hard" - my ex fiance, upon me dropping out of college because they put me in a class I found way too hard and refused to move me even after I asked for help.

"It's always about you isn't it? Would it **** you to say something nice to ME once in a while, to show you love and care for ME rather than thinking about yourself all the time?" - from my current boyfriend, nearly everytime I go to him for help. Sometimes I don't kow why I am still with him.

"Jesus, SHE'S the one you need putting into care or locking away in a mental hospital!" - my brother, after I slammed my bedroom door since I had work in the morning and he had been up all night getting drunk and making hellish noise with my brother and father. This door slam resulted in me becoming homeless because I had a short fuse because I was exhausted.

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3 year relationship, engaged. It was my first time staying with her at her new place on uni campus (I shared the rent to stay there with her and work.) Had just moved up there, in bed 4 days in:

"I can't do this anymore."

*stunned* "What do you mean?"

"I just can't get over all the things in the past." (I had introverted for several months, literally unable to symp/empathize with people and I didn't realise. She knew this.)

"But we spoke about those things, so many times, for so long... Why would you stay with me if you can't forgive me for that?"

"Because you hurt me more than you were hurting."

That cut me deep. Real deep. I haven't had a relationship since. The ignorance despite all the things I taught her about it afterwards. Still burnt into the front of my mind. 3 years ago, lol. Madness.

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''You're a ******* loser'' - My father

''You... you really have a mental problem.'' - My mother, with a face half between disgust and surprise, after I laughed about something very inappropriate during a serious conversation.

''You tell me nothing's wrong, but here, Alex (my brother), ask me if anything's wrong with me.'' *Mother mimics a depressed face and sighs*

''What's wrong with you?''

*Sighs dramatically* ''Uh, nothing. Nothing.''

And then they both laughed.

''You're ******* useless, you're a loser, staying in here like you know everything about life but you can't get your *ss up and get a job.''

''Dad, it's too hard for me to go to work. I get depressed.''

''Well, you're gonna have to stop whining and get a job like everyone does. At your age, I was doing my own thing, and look at you, you're playing music and drawing all the time. Grow the **** up.''

''How can you **** yourself, you didn't even get to have sex yet.'' - My brother, after I tried to talk to him about my suicidal thoughts. After realizing he'd never take it seriously, I just shut up.

And then there's 'Selfish B*tch', 'Hypocrite', Spoiled', 'You don't know what real problems are like', etc. etc. All from my family again.

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