Moving house with depression

[Sophy]

Hi... it's been a long time since I posted here last...

I'm currently moving house (in part because of my depression).

I've been living on a farm and the living situation here has made my depression worse and with my depression being bad, I've not been able to put in the necessary work to keep the farm running as it should.

As yet, I haven't got a new place to move to yet, which feels scary, but hopefully I may be able to rent a place nearby... maybe...

Today, I'm trying to tidy up here because I've got 2 real-estate agents coming to look at the farm tomorrow and 2 more on Thursday.

With depression being really awful, housework's not exactly been a priority.

So there's more to tidy up than I can acutally get done.

So I'm trying to just focus on the most important things.

A part of me wants to just leave everything laying around as it is and honestly say "I'm sorry, I have really bad depression, that's part of the reason we're selling the farm and I just can't cope atm, so I'm sorry but I've not tidied anything up at all."

I wonder what would happen if I just did exactly that?

[Sophy]

Well, I've tidied a bit of the yard, a bit of the sun room, a bit of the hallway and a bit of the attic (cos the real-estate agent will want to look at that too). Going to have a break and then tidy the bathroom.

I'm feeling stressed by it, but also relieved that I got some tidying done.

Also feel a bit of calmness due to being tired from the physical exercise of so much tidying.

I don't much look forward to the real-estate agents coming here, but I also don't feel as stressed as I usually would. I'm being a bit fatalistic atm and will just be glad to have these tasks done and be able to move on to other stuff.

One thing I'm mildly looking forward to is that this move gives me the opportunity to purge a lot of stuff. Just throw stuff out, sell stuff, donate stuff to charity... just get rid of a whole lot of stuff, really.

[sober4life]

If I like the place I like the place it's that simple.  I sure wouldn't expect things to be perfect if someone is still living in the home.  They didn't clean up this place really when we came to take a tour of the place.  Honestly I'm not even sure how you would get a farm perfectly clean.  Is it possible or wanted by the people looking?  I'm not sure.  I know I wouldn't expect it and I'm someone that would love to have my own farm.🤔

[Sophy]

Heh, thanks @sober4life that made me laugh.

No, you can't get a whole farm perfectly clean.

I guess I meant more that I don't want it to look so neglected that it's obvious to any onlooker than the owners are struggling with depression...

But yeah, whoever buys it is going to buy it cos they like the farm as such and not cos of how tidy our living room is...

[surfcaster]

4 hours ago, Sophy said:

Well, I've tidied a bit of the yard, a bit of the sun room, a bit of the hallway and a bit of the attic (cos the real-estate agent will want to look at that too). Going to have a break and then tidy the bathroom.

I'm feeling stressed by it, but also relieved that I got some tidying done.

Also feel a bit of calmness due to being tired from the physical exercise of so much tidying.

I don't much look forward to the real-estate agents coming here, but I also don't feel as stressed as I usually would. I'm being a bit fatalistic atm and will just be glad to have these tasks done and be able to move on to other stuff.

One thing I'm mildly looking forward to is that this move gives me the opportunity to purge a lot of stuff. Just throw stuff out, sell stuff, donate stuff to charity... just get rid of a whole lot of stuff, really.

Having moved recently it was my experience that the people looking at the house didn't care about the cosmetic condition because they were looking at how they were going to customize to their taste anyway, i broke my body trying to make it look new for nothing, and the agent pretty much said it wouldnt matter

[Sophy]

Well, the first real-estate agent has been and gone again.

It wasn't as bad (as invasive) as I thought it would be.

I thought he would be really nosy and insist on seeing "all" parts of the house/ farm, but he was happy to have me show him around and just point out the most important things.

He did say that when potential buyers come to look at the place, later on, they will want to see everything.

Which is fine - I'll have things tidied up enough by then.

The next real-estate agent is coming in 10 minutes.

Hope he's as polite and easy-going as his colleague...

 

[surfcaster]

good luck, my experience is that most of them are nice, they want your money so 

[Sophy]

2 hours ago, surfcaster said:

good luck, my experience is that most of them are nice, they want your money so 

Heh yeah... Well, they'll get a share of whoever buys the farm's money, but you're right, it's in their best interest to be nice.

Having said that tho... It's in most people's best interest to be nice (at least in a lot of business situations) but that doesn't mean that they necessarily are.

Some ppl are just pushy asshats because that's what they're like.

So I'm still relieved... And doubly so, because the 2nd real-estate agent was very nice too.

The farm is old (the main building is almost 100 years old) which means it's got lots of historical value and charm, but it also desperately needs and overhaul.

It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I like it.

And I'm feeling so stressed and thin-skinned about the whole selling and moving process, that I'm not very good at dealing with people who are pushy or rude atm.

So, definitely grateful that both appointments went smoothly and were pleasant.

I realise that a real-estate agent's visit is not really a "big deal" in the grand scheme of things.

But depression always makes everything seem so much harder and more painful and more exhausting and more stressful, you know?

[surfcaster]

2 hours ago, Sophy said:

Heh yeah... Well, they'll get a share of whoever buys the farm's money, but you're right, it's in their best interest to be nice.

Having said that tho... It's in most people's best interest to be nice (at least in a lot of business situations) but that doesn't mean that they necessarily are.

Some ppl are just pushy asshats because that's what they're like.

So I'm still relieved... And doubly so, because the 2nd real-estate agent was very nice too.

The farm is old (the main building is almost 100 years old) which means it's got lots of historical value and charm, but it also desperately needs and overhaul.

It's not everyone's cup of tea, but I like it.

And I'm feeling so stressed and thin-skinned about the whole selling and moving process, that I'm not very good at dealing with people who are pushy or rude atm.

So, definitely grateful that both appointments went smoothly and were pleasant.

I realise that a real-estate agent's visit is not really a "big deal" in the grand scheme of things.

But depression always makes everything seem so much harder and more painful and more exhausting and more stressful, you know?

Yeah, depression is like a giant magnifying glass making everything bigger, I'm sorry you're losing your farm but i hope your new adventure brings exiting things to enjoy

[Sophy]

Well, the third real-estate agent was here this morning.

He did behave like an asshat.

He was "polite" but he behaved like crap, in a polite way.

He was our bank's real-estate agent... not sure if that's why he behaved like that.

I have a bank appt tomorrow, to discuss taking out an interim loan on the property, until it's sold.

It'll be interesting to see how that goes.

Sigh...

Anyway, I'm taking a break now, then taking the dog for a walk and will then meet with the 4th real-estate agent.

 

[Sophy]

Hmm...
I'm still really unsettled from this morning's meeting with the bank real-estate agent.
It was so strange. I disliked and mistrusted him, right from the first phone call.
I feel like he is trying to trick me.
I can't even explain it right, but it felt fraudulent, somehow. Fishy. Like he was trying to trap me.
He was polite. It wasn't that he was obviously rude.
But he was playing power games and trying to intimidate me.
Which, omg, I need like a hole in the head right now.
This whole process of selling and moving is triggering the shit out of me already, anyway.
I wonder whether tomorrow's bank appointment will be Part Two of being played.
Ugh.
I've got another appointment with another real-estate agent coming up in half an hour.
No idea how to get myself re-regulated enough to be professional for that appt... Sigh...
I may have to change banks... I really, really, really dislike this guy.

 

 

[Nightjar]

19 hours ago, Sophy said:

may have to change banks... I really, really, really dislike this guy.

I think you should trust yourself on this one and find someone else. The stress of moving is all about the people you have to deal with (amongst many other stresses). If you have good people to work with your job will be a lot easier. 

[Sophy]

7 hours ago, Nightjar said:

I think you should trust yourself on this one and find someone else. The stress of moving is all about the people you have to deal with (amongst many other stresses). If you have good people to work with your job will be a lot easier. 

Thank you for this  🌺

I had my appointment with the bank lady today... the one that works with the bank's real-estate agent.

She was fine... she was polite, neutral, supportive and seeking a win-win outcome.

So that reduces my weird/ paranoid feeling a bit about the appointment yesterday with the bank's real-estate agent.

I will be making sure not to hire him as our real-estate agent tho!

Anyway, I'm feeling a bit calmer and more settled about the whole process atm.

I'm sure there will be hiccups and stressors along the way and I may have some more sleepless nights ahead of me yet.

But today, I'm feeling calm and glad that I got the 4 real-estate agent's appointments and the bank consultant's appointment done.

Thank you for the support so far.

These things can seem so much scarier and overwhelming than usual, when viewed through the lens of depression.

I have a fun work outing with colleagues tomorrow - I'm acutally looking forward to it, because the colleagues I have at this new job are a really nice bunch.

This job is actually the main reason I'm looking for a new place to live around here locally. If it weren't for this job, I'd relocate elsewhere. But honestly, this is the most fun job, with the kindest colleagues I've ever had and I'd hate to lose the job, because of moving away...

So I'm going to try and focus on having some light-hearted fun tomorrow and relaxing after a really strenuous week.

[surfcaster]

good to hear things went well , glad you are going to have a fun day