WhyAreWeHere Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 In retrospect over the past few years because of therapy and talking to a professional, ESPECIALLY the past few weeks, I notice I'm getting more angry about my life and allowing myself to be pushed around, belittled, disrespected by everyone from family to friends and everyone in between. I grew up in a very broken family, terrified by seeing my parents physically attack each other. My cousin sexually assaulting me at the age of 7, he was 15, thankfully nothing happened, but the mere fact that he tried - that obviously did something to me, not sure how it affected me. Bullied and picked on through my grade school and high school years. A drunk father who terrorized me for a decade easily. Jealous friends whenever I was with a girl (they were gorgeous) but the comments from my one "close friend" condescending.. It just never ended.. Here I am at 48, my life isn't anything to be proud of. I'm struggling to keep my sanity and my life together. The point in all this, I just wish I had never realized what happened to me in my life because I'm hating myself for not standing up for myself. The obvious reason I didn't was, because I never felt I was cared for or loved by my parents, even though they had their "moments" which in retrospect was probably more abou them in the moment than actual "love" ---whatever the fk that means. Anyone else with me in thinking it probably is best to not have dug deep in their own history and just let it be.. because looking back really hurts and makes me wish more I wasn't alive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!Register a new account
Already have an account? Sign in here.Sign In Now