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FM08

I Just Can't Talk To Girls

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I'm 17 and at college. I'm not extremely depressed, I was but I am now in a state of contentness and not too depressed, just a little bit. However I have a big problem in my life and that's not being able to talk to girls my age. I don't know why or what it is but when faced with a girl around my age my mind just goes blank, I panic and don't know what to say. I even hide in toilets sometimes to avoid social situations with girls. I'm so self concious. I can talk to women fine usually but I just haven't a clue how to behave around girls. I think it could be because it's a different sex which makes me nervous but I just don't know. I need some conversation tips and advice. Any help/advice would be much appreciated.

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I know where you're coming from. I used to be very much like you. And now I'm in a great relationship. I tihnk the key is exposure, exposure and more exposure. Start off VERY small and work your way up.

I used to get so nervous around girls I'd want to throw up, and that was before I even spoke to them. Even sitting next to a girl on the bus would make me very nervous.

I started first by keeping my head up and looking girls in the eye. Even if you're just walking down the street. Just try looking at them. The you can progress to smiling when you make eye contact. Once you're comfortable doing this, just try saying hello. So whether you're at the check out, or walking the dog, just smile and say hello.

Next step I did was to rty striking up a conversation. So say you're lining up in a que to buy groceries, if you're infront or behind a girl and you're both alone, seize an opportunity to say something. You could say something tongue in cheeck like "I really love lining up".

Stay at each step until you feel more comfortable to move to the next step. Practice it as often as you can. And think of it this way, if the girl thinks you're weird or doesn't feel like talking and doesn't respond, just think to your self "too bad for her, I'll probably never see her again in my life time anyway".

I know it's hard, but I'm living proof that you can get the courage to talk to girls and hang out with them.

I know it's scary at first, but when you get to know them it's not so scary.

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I don't have any tips on how to start conversations with complete strangers, as that is still a problem for me, but if you have any friends who have friends who are ladies, ask them to arrange an opportunity for you to talk to them. Don't go into the conversation focusing on the fact that they are of the opposite sex, just think of them as a random person. You don't need to chat for hours; maybe try making a small comment on something they were talking about...it might seem trivial but it's a start. If it wasn't for my friend who gets along with girls well I would be in the same position. Good Luck :hearts:

Oh yeah, Sorry if the advice was kind of awkward, its my first post on a forum :bump:

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i rarely talk to girls as well. so it is not a problem for me. i am a muslim and in order to preserve or elevate my spirituality i must avoid uncessary contact with girls because it is a door for satin to take advantage of my attraction (sexuality) to girls and corrupt my attempts to purify my thoughts and feelings in order to focus on worship and daily tasks.

for me there will be just one girl in my life which is the one i will marry and will share sexuality, faith, and goods and bads of life

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I think what you have to realize is that the girls are all probably more worried about what you think of them.

Why don't you start by talking to some of the less intimidating looking ones.

Be yourself and be friendly. Think of the girl as more of another human instead of a girl. Humans all share feelings in common.

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Hi there, FM08. Your problem is common. I know that I had this problem for a long time. If you are prone to anxieties, and it sounds like you are, then normal social pressures are amplified. That's in my experience. The good news is that you can totally get past this, man.

I would suggest first looking up someone called David DeAngelo. He produces some videos called Double Your Dating which can be found on the Internet. This may sound like crap advice, but give it a chance. He talks a lot about inner-game and confidence which is something you need. His advice is not too specific about "what to say" but it's a great start.

After that, head over to fastseduction and you'll jump into the fire, so to speak. Keep in mind there is a lot of advice that doesn't translate through text well. Work on how you feel inside and read a lot to get some ideas. Hit me up with any questions through PM.

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