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Feeling worthless


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Hi all not posted in a while, but just recently i have felt like my life isnt worth anything. As i feel like i have wasted my life, My husband is always boasting how well his life is and what great thing she has done over the years and boasts bout it to everyone we meet. but not once has he ever said anything bout my life. Im 34 years old, i have a 11 year old daughter, i started a catering business up in 2011 and obviusly due to covid we havent had much work. so just before covid in 2018 i started a buy and sell business in summer i sell kids toys and in winter i sell xmas jumpers. But not once has he said how proud or well done to me.

I just feel so worthless next to him as hes worked with disney and helped make computer games when he was younger and now he builds movie props, He alwasy just boasts how great he is and u can see people look upto him, where im in background like a doormat and no one seeems to care what i do.

 

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I'm sorry you are suffering these feelings.   I have felt similarly although our circumstances are different. 

I am often wrong about things, but I tend to think we are all "works in progress", and that it is possible to make little moves that often have inestimable value.

I found these Forums when I was going through a deep depression and I decided to use my free time to try to help others going through similar unhappy situations.  To be honest, I did not have much to offer in the way of wisdom.  And I was kind of reduced to offering small things like empathy, compassion, encouragement, consolation and understanding. 

To my surprise I often got messages here from others; messages saying that my words helped them feel less isolated and alone with their distress.  A couple of times, to my utter shock, people messaged me that they felt I had helped saved their lives.

I am mobility limited and so the computer is my main connection to the outside world.  But feeling that at any time, I can log on to this site and offer a little kindness gives my life meaning.  What is that old saying?  "Better to light a small candle than curse the darkness."

There are people here who literally saved my life when I was in my darkest hour and I don't think there is anything greater than saving someone's life.  I think that is the most noble and heroic thing a human being can accomplish.

There is a place on this site called "How do you feel today?"  It is an active thread.  People read each others posts and offer a little kindness and encouragement. 

I don't know if this would help you.  It helps me a lot. 

There is a homeless woman in my town who many would consider a complete failure in life.  She lives day to day by begging money by street intersections.  But she does something special.  Whatever money she gets each day she puts a little in those little charity boxes at gas stations and convenience stores.  Perhaps you've seen those little boxes:  March of Dimes, American Red Cross, St. Jude's Children's Hospital and so on. 

I admire this lady.  Her misfortunes in life have not triumphed over here.  She transcends her difficulties and I imagine she has self-esteem issues when she compares herself to others.  But heroism doesn't have to be some extraordinarily difficult feat.  There are opportunities for heroism everywhere.

There was a man named Oscar Schindler.  He failed at so many things in his life:  businesses, relationships, virtues.  But at one point in his life he became a Holocaust Rescuer.  He saved lives.  And nowadays no one remembers him for his losses or failures or weaknesses.  After the Second World War he was reduced to near poverty and lived by selling light bulbs door to door.  But he is not remembered for this.

You mention that you are the mother of an eleven year old daughter.  That alone and all by itself shows me that you are a person of stature, nobility and heroism.  There are few things in life requiring as much as motherhood does so please, if you can, try not to sell yourself short.  There is a lot more to you than you think and I believe there are more chapters to be written in your life.

Please forgive me if my words have not been helpful.  It is so hard to know what to say to someone that will be helpful.  Hopefully others here will see your post and respond with better words than my poor words. 

I am going to stop typing now since I have pain in my hands, but I want to tell you that I admire you and that I hope you will learn to admire yourself.  You are worth it!

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  • 2 weeks later...

My condolences toward your suffering. Having Depression is threatening on its own. But when one starts to compare themselves with others, the Depression is exacerbated, and what stable ground turns to blight and decays. It's a truly atrocious feeling.  

I sincerely hope your stable ground remains stable. I can most certainly relate. I merely recommend, never compare yourself to others. For they do not burden the dark chaos that sweeps the mind. They know not what it truly means to function in the absence of light. And do tread lightly, pain from perceptive can very easily become resentment. I wish you only the best. 

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