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Long time sufferer - been ok for years now not so sure


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Long long history going back 25+ years.... Used to be a member of this forum.

Had some bad times over the years but been med free for prob 7-8 years....

Its been OK. Some tough times famiy wise but been married 26 years now. Love my wife to bits but its been hard recently. Shes had fibromyalgia for 8-9 years now so struggles with it (in pain every day) - now shes into the menopause. It makes our relationship difficult.

I've tried but I don't cope well with it. Maybe I need the attention all the time I dunno. Anyway for months and months I've thought it was all her - you know she needs to control it better. Theres no doubt shes not the best but maybe I could do better.

Last month or two I've really been thinking maybe some of it is me. There is no doubt she is hard work lol, but I just wonder. I find it nigh on impossible to have ANY patience and ignore her. I speak to friends who basically just say "yeh let her be a bit and she calms down". She'll do something and it'll play on my mind and annoy the heck out of me - more than it should. I just can't seem to let things slide if you know what I mean... I get irritated too and shout at the kids then - its not right.

Last few months I've noticed as wel I'm sort of "waiting for it" if you know what I mean. My mind seems ready to jump on her as soon as she does one little thing which is probably not the best plan. This is one of the things that got me thinking that maybe at least some of the problem is me. Im getting obsessed with "she shouldnt have spoken to me like that"

I remember catastrophising from my depression days - wow I realised I'm back to that. Taking things personally- wow I think I must be a nightmare to deal with.

Ideally I just want to have more patience rather than none at all. I want to be able to ignore her moods - give her space if you know what I mean. Shes going through a lot and I get its a chemical thing as well like depression but I just can't let it go. Probably fair to say that my wife doesnt handle pain or her menopause moods well but then I dont think I handle my reactions well either! so somethings got to change. Been married a long time so dont want to bail out really.

Wondering if its time to get myself to GP and go back on meds? Its tough because I've been ok for so long....

Any opinions? To be honest, my GP who I won't know personally anyway, will take a look at my record, and say, well you know how things are its all up to you.

Previously took Sertraline. Which seemed ok. Bit less side effects than others (I've tried nearly all of them).

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I'm so sorry you are going through such a rough time!  Heartbreaking just reading about it and can't imagine what it is like to be living it day to day.  Pretty sure I cannot really be impartial since I have to be on medication all the time or I will sink back into darkness. 

I fear giving "advice" since it is so easy to give bad advice or make someone feel worse than they already feel.  Maybe others here who are not so timid will see your post and respond to it with something practical and really helpful to you.  Wish I knew what to say that would really help.

My heart goes out to you and I hope your situation improves!

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Thanks Epi for your kind words.....

To be honest, I think I've sort of decided I need to speak to my GP and go back on medication - it can't go on like this, I'm just so stressed.

My oldest leaves today for college and thats suddenly hit home for me. Hes really excited and his GF is going with him and Im sure he'll have a great time. But thats made me REALLY REALLY sad.

I know a bit sad is normal but this is way much.....

Then again hes less than 3 hours drive away (hey thats one side of the country to another in wales!). His year is like 30 weeks so he'll be home quite a lot......

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