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Emotional numbness and detachment


Emu567

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Hi,

I’m a 26 year old student from wales. I hear voices constantly insulting me and bullying me calling me a slag, prostitute blah blah blah

I also feel this intense numbness and apathy . I don’t feel anything and I mean anything . I do not feel happy, sad, anxious, no fear no anger . Nothing! 
It’s an odd feeling , I am completely disconnected from everything and everyone 

I am not currently taking any antipsychotics and antidepressants as I thought that was causing the numbness and apathy . But it still persists after I have stopped taking them 

I have had a complete personality change I feel quite indifferent to my friends and do not feel passionate about my career or anything really 

I feel like an emotionless robot or zombie

anyway rant over . Just wanted advice on what to do ?

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I also feel lack of pleasure in things like eating bathing, massage and obviously sex . I don’t really want to have sex as I am not attracted to people and don’t get much pleasure out of sex 

My scalp is completely numbed out and has no response to touch or massage - can’t feel anything 

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I am too numb to actually feel empathy for other people - it is quite hard as I cannot feel what they are feeling . So I feel like my relationships with other people have been damaged as I’m not the same person . My personality has changed I feel quite boring now  

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My sex drive is zero . Non existent . I do not want sex, do not have sexual fantasies or thoughts , and do not seek sex . I haven’t had a boyfriend in over a year - this is because I do not crave intimacy or sex 

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The emotional numbness has got so great I have started to shout and yell out loud. It might sound counter intuitive but the less emotions I feel the more I shout . So actually I didn’t shout when I had emotions I started shouting and screaming when I lost my emotions 

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I feel so empty . When I’m empty I scream and shout . I have no anxiety no inhibitions no fe at no emotions 

nothing that would stop me from shouting or screaming- do you think I shouted and screamed when I was younger . Do you think I woke up in the morning and shouted and screamed ?

ni because I had feelings- I had emotions like anxiety and fear that stopped me from screaming 

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I heard this voice very loudly as soon as I woke up - I found it very distressing and disgusting and it made me scream because it was such an upsetting vile thing to hear about someone you thought you knew 

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It really upset me it drove me mad actually after I heard it I was so upset by it I started screaming and shouting . I didn’t have time to wake up or come to - I just woke up and there was a female voice harrasing me and calling my ex boyfriend an abuser and calling me a child killer and threatening to rape me and give me drugs 

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I find it really distressing to hear voices telling me 

1) my ex boyfriend is an abuser

2) I’m a child killer

3) I’m being raped and given drugs

4) they have done brain surgery on me

5) loads of men have raped me

i hear all this disgusting insults early in the morning when I wake up 

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Hi Emu I'm sorry you're feeling so bad.  Those are psychotic symptoms and you should try to get them treated by a doctor.  I know what some of that is like.  I was treated for hallucinations (mostly visual) with antipsychotics some years ago.  I'm sorry I don't know your backstory, but what did the docs diagnose you with?  

I hope you feel better soon.  It's a shame DF doesn't have the number of volunteers to respond to hurting people that it once did.  Way back in the day there was no shortage.  

 

 

 

 

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I am also sorry that you are suffering Emu.  The ordeals are you going through and have gone through are so heartbreaking that I am brought to tears just reading about them.  Can't even imagine living them as you do.

AloneGuy has given you such wonderful advice in my opinion.  I hope you will give some thought to it since it could help you so enormously.  There are treatments available that could help you with your mental anguish.  Sometimes it is hard to seek treatment when we are suffering since the smallest things can be an ordeal.  But I hope you will find strength somewhere deep inside yourself to get medical help.  

I know it can be such an empty and feeble cliche, but my heart goes out to you.  I really mean that!

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