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My brother is bipolar among other difficult life circumstances and disorders. My life is all about revolving around him while trying to hide the fact that I am, because he will feel selfish and reject help. So it has to be secret help, setting him up for success, even in little ways because the good small things build up. Sometimes his anger and moods get the best of him, he will flush the toilet when I shower, he will hug me really tight when I have a coughing fit, say something mean about an insecurity. But when he sees my face he feels terrible, I know it eats at him he goes into my room at night teary eyed to hug me and apologize. I am not upset when he does something out of a mood swing, I know it isn't a reflection of his true character, I wish he would believe me when I say I'm not upset. It gets hard, but I believe he can improve, I must be patient. Everyone works at their own rate, there comes a time when you must accept it

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1 hour ago, Sandwich_napper said:

My brother is bipolar among other difficult life circumstances and disorders. My life is all about revolving around him while trying to hide the fact that I am, because he will feel selfish and reject help. So it has to be secret help, setting him up for success, even in little ways because the good small things build up. Sometimes his anger and moods get the best of him, he will flush the toilet when I shower, he will hug me really tight when I have a coughing fit, say something mean about an insecurity. But when he sees my face he feels terrible, I know it eats at him he goes into my room at night teary eyed to hug me and apologize. I am not upset when he does something out of a mood swing, I know it isn't a reflection of his true character, I wish he would believe me when I say I'm not upset. It gets hard, but I believe he can improve, I must be patient. Everyone works at their own rate, there comes a time when you must accept it

Hello,

I think with men who are bipolar and have mood swings like this you need to command respect.

It is never okay for your brother to physically harm you no matter how he is feeling. It is a difficult situation because you don't want to escalate to police where force is used on him because thay is family no one wants that but you need to be very firm and establish his respect for you so he remember that respect even when he is having an off day.

You are doing a lot of things to try to help him and it seems like he struggles with guilt. It would be better if he just respected and accepted all of your help without the need to feel guilt.

 

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Most people with bipolar disorder reject help.  That's the truth most people won't say.  If we're going to call this a family issue they reject help because there are no options at this time that exist that help everyone involved so it divides the family most of the time.

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