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Out Of Work And Very Depressed -- Am I Doomed?

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I'm 23/m, live in Bronx, NY with my girlfriend. She's a working nurse aide, we only have two bills to pay and each have plenty of money saved up in our banks. Quick Note: My true calling is to be in the filmmaking business as an actor/writer/director/producer, I am currently working on that dream while all this is happening, I'm going to start by filming a few shorts next month, I have all the gear already. I even talked with this author in London about optioning his poltergeist book (for $2000) for a film and collaborating with him on the script together, he's all fine with it. Also, I enrolled in a couple of back up Job plans for security purposes (these are jobs I don't mind doing): 1) I signed up for a six month EMT class, it's 3 nights a week. 2) I took the city sanitation test last year and passed it, but I have to wait until a year is up (June 2008) for them to call me to work.

But in the meantime, while i'm waiting for all that to fall through...

Ok, I had a job at a cable company ($13/hour) for three months which I left recently for an opportunity in the doorman business, I was started off as a maintenance guy ($15/hour) and boy oh boy did I make a HUGE mistake. This place, there's no security cameras there but everyone rats you out over the smallest things and if you don't do overtime or work your days off when asked, you WILL get penalized for it. Also, the super is ALWAYS around you, you're constantly running into him and if you don't have something to do, you're in trouble and man let me tell you, when you've done all your work that has to be done it's like pulling teeth trying to find something to do when this guy's around. I was so stressed I cried while mopping the floors of the back staircases by myself.

So here I am now, I've been unemployed for 1 day so far. I applied to about 75-100 jobs on craigs list in the surrounding area (all in 2 days time), all in the admin/office, file clerk, data entry, and customer service categories since that's all I'm apparently good for according to my resume. And already I'm going out of my mind, I've had 3 responses so far, 2 of them were nigerian/foreign country scams, the other involved selling stuff.

My work exp. consists of:

*Nov. '07 - Jan '08: Cable company.

*Sept. - Oct. '07: Security guard.

*Aug. - Sept. '07: Elevator operator.

*Feb. - May '07: Data Entry Librarian.

*Mar. '06 - Jan '07: Call Center Representative.

Before that, it was retail jobs, like H&M, Bloomingdales, and I stayed at those about 1 year each. Now mind you, I tweaked my resume a bit so that it looks like I worked for the cable place longer than 3 months, those other jobs I had between May and October were basically temp.

I know it's early to jump the gun because I applied to like 100 jobs in 2 days, but I feel very discouraged right now, probably because I'm not used to being unemployed, I've been working since I was 17 years old. My girlfriend is very supportive, she tells me to just relax and wait, give it like a week, because usually I get jobs like a week after the other (somehow, I don't know), it's happened ever since I met her a year ago.

Oh and just in case you're wondering, I don't have any college exp, maybe a few months but that doesn't count. See I messed up early in life between 18-20 years of age, I got married to someone else (I'm divorced from that girl now though), she was illegal, talked me into dropping out, getting my GED (which wasn't even a real GED, so I had to re-take the real one), and talking me into doing this online business scam. I was stuck with that girl for 3 years. I could have got an associates or bachelors in something back then but look at me now :( I suck. I just hope my filmmaking dreams come true. I hope God doesn't hate me. Everytime I see someone with a degree or a good job, I envy them like crazy now. I think God does hate me. This world makes no sense, everyone wants everyone else to be broke, it's like you got one shot to do everything and if you don't, you're gone. I'm so depressed right now I can't even do anything.

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Posted · Report post  

Hi Steve

I'm sorry that you are feeling really depressed right now. You have a lot on your plate and maybe it is good for you just to take time out for yourself for a change, as you say, your money situation is not bad and it looks like your filmaking is promising in the future.

It may be a good thing to just take care of you right now, even if its just for a few weeks or a month.

You are not a failure, because you don't have a college education and you sound like you are really hard working and positive.

You have sent out 75-100 resume's, so something is bound to come back eventually.


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Posted · Report post  

This world makes no sense, everyone wants everyone else to be broke, it's like you got one shot to do everything and if you don't, you're gone. I'm so depressed right now I can't even do anything.


It took me over 6 months to find my last job, I couldn't even get an interview anywhere. I searched online and in the newspapers everyday (are you checking, etc.?) and my depression got so bad, I didn't think I was going to make it. Unlike you, I had no money saved and was deep in debt. Then one day, I got called by two employers (I had applied for these jobs months before and had completely given up and forgotten about them) for an interview and both offered me positions at the same time. It was like a miracle because I was at the end of my rope. Its harder to find a job when you don't have one but please try to hang in there. You might investigate applying at a temp agency, it often leads to a permanent position.

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