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Time Wanted, Space Given


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All I do is catch myself asking consistently (practically begging) for time but as always the outcome is the same with each and every one of them, they want to leave. Space gets pushed right into my face and arms, and I have no choice but to take it as is. I welcome the "loneliness" with a cold shoulder trying to avoid the inevitability, yet all it does is just follow. I lost my friends all due to different reasonings but it didn't help that my past suitors had done the same. I just can't understand what may be so overbearing about me, what about me is what drives others away? I look to others trying to find help for myself and yet I still find myself absolutely stuck. No movement, no changes, just left there. 

I understand that not everyone is meant for everybody, so am I just not meant for anyone? Life has its ups and downs and thats just the way things flow, like an ocean current. It could be a huge wave coming to overtake you and the water could be rough as ever, but the next minute it could smoothen out. But where does it leave me? Still stuck. Is me asking for time just too much for everyone? I dont know, I just don't want to be stuck again or anymore truthfully speaking. But then again who does?

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Time, there is never enough, then there is too much, then its now and we miss the chance. Some people don't seem affected by missing the moment, or planning for it, or remembering it as it was, but for many of us, we do.

maybe you are not missing time, maybe you are, or maybe you could look at it as not being in the same time /space equilibrium up to now. Your time will come, there is somebody for everybody, don’t give up trying, whilst at the same time try not to attach each missed chance to build something, as a failure or your last chance.

stay positive that good will come, its just how to wait out the time until it does. 

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If you want more quality time then that could be your love language or you could have an anxious attachment from attachment theory.

Secure attachment means a toddler is fine when mom goes to work and happy when she returns

Anxious attachment means a toddler clings to moms leg and cries when she leaves and is happy when they return

Avoidant attachment means a toddler does not care when they leave or return

Ambivalent means they act randomly usually means that the child has been abused

I would seek out relationships with people who are either anxious, secure or have quality time love language. I think you will be a lot happier with people who have similar needs as you.

From my personal experience I am anxious attachment and I dated someone who was a cold night shift nurse with avoidant attachment it was very difficult and now I have a helicopter girlfriend instead and I have never been happier.

Edited by Evergreenforst4
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