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Hello everyone. TW: Sensitive topics


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im new to the site so i thought i might tell you stuff that happened recently.

So when i was 3-4 i was raped by some guys my mom always had over. she was too busy doing drugs to pay attention to what was happening at home but i still love her regardless. Fast foreward a couple years (i was 6) i had been bullied and went to my mom about it, but she didnt care and told me, "their probably kidding [insert my name]." i hadnt thought mush of it so i went to my room and listened to music. an hour after i got home my mom and dad had a big fight and i had gotten scared so i was curled up in my closet when my dad came in and told me that me, my brother and him were going somewhere so we had left. after that i had stopped expressing my feelings and talked less. fast foreward a few years (now 15) i had gotten a therapist because of an attempt. she suggested i get back in tough with my mom. so i did and now i have a meeting with her soon and im a little scared on what might happen. if anyone has any advice id love to hear it.

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Hi and welcome to the Forums.  It is very nice to meet you.

First I want to tell you how very sorry I am for the terrible abuse you have suffered.  It is just heartbreaking. 

Hopefully your meeting with your mother will go well. 

I wish I had some great advice to offer you, but sadly I am at a loss. 

When I am facing a possibly uncomfortable meeting or conversation with someone, I try to have some standard answers I can use if things get rough. 

If someone says something hurtful to me I usually just use the question "what?" in response.  This gives the other person a chance to rephrase what they said.  If they still say something hurtful again, I just say "what" again. 

The question "what" is a way to be assertive in a conversation without either backing down or starting a fight in many cases.  Sometimes it doesn't work but I find it helpful to me.

Another trick I use is to say "I'll need to think about that" if someone is asking me something difficult or putting pressure on me.  People often try to force an artificial sense of urgency on things and it helps me to have a standard answer ready for any kind of pressure.

I don't know if these things would be helpful to you.  They might do more harm than good.  Since I am not in your shoes it is really impossible for me to give advice.  

Often things that seem scary and cause anxiety end up being not as bad as one expects. 

In any case, I hope others here on the Forums will see your post and respond to it with better words than my poor words.  I hope things go well.  I am rooting for you!  Please let us know how things go.  We are here to support each other.  Wish I could write more but I have a painful hand injury.  Sorry.

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10 hours ago, Epictetus said:

Hi and welcome to the Forums.  It is very nice to meet you.

First I want to tell you how very sorry I am for the terrible abuse you have suffered.  It is just heartbreaking. 

Hopefully your meeting with your mother will go well. 

I wish I had some great advice to offer you, but sadly I am at a loss. 

When I am facing a possibly uncomfortable meeting or conversation with someone, I try to have some standard answers I can use if things get rough. 

If someone says something hurtful to me I usually just use the question "what?" in response.  This gives the other person a chance to rephrase what they said.  If they still say something hurtful again, I just say "what" again. 

The question "what" is a way to be assertive in a conversation without either backing down or starting a fight in many cases.  Sometimes it doesn't work but I find it helpful to me.

Another trick I use is to say "I'll need to think about that" if someone is asking me something difficult or putting pressure on me.  People often try to force an artificial sense of urgency on things and it helps me to have a standard answer ready for any kind of pressure.

I don't know if these things would be helpful to you.  They might do more harm than good.  Since I am not in your shoes it is really impossible for me to give advice.  

Often things that seem scary and cause anxiety end up being not as bad as one expects. 

In any case, I hope others here on the Forums will see your post and respond to it with better words than my poor words.  I hope things go well.  I am rooting for you!  Please let us know how things go.  We are here to support each other.  Wish I could write more but I have a painful hand injury.  Sorry.

thanks anyways. also that was good advice even if you never saw that it was

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