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What is happening? [part 3 of 4]


Luciano

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When Jane was nine years old her dog died. She was devastated, traumatised and depressed. She could not understand why she continued to feel overwhelmed with sadness. People told her “don’t be silly... he was just a dog... we will get you a new one”. Jane did not want to be “silly” so she looked for other reasons she was depressed. It was the summertime and the city where Jane lived was experiencing a heatwave. “That must be it” she rationalised. “It’s this stifling heat that is making me depressed”. The sadness naturally subsided around the same time the heatwave died down. This reinforced the association. 30 years later Jane starts to experience waves of intense depression. She has tapped into the “hot weather makes me depressed” association recorded in her subconscious. Maybe she went on holiday somewhere very warm, saw a movie about a heatwave or heard a story from a friend about their trip to a destination with stifling heat. Jane has no idea why she feels this way so she goes to see her doctor who prescribes medication. Some days this helps her feel better, other days she feels worse. Jane looks for answers but dismisses something that happened when she was nine years old as a trivial footnote in her life which cannot possibly be related.

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People act the same way when a person you love dies.  They try to push you past it so they themselves don't have to put in the time to help you.  You know for sure nobody cares at all when you lose someone you love.  You will get the oh god you're talking about this again response every time you try to talk about it.  You get absolutely nothing from anyone.

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On 2/11/2022 at 5:12 PM, katiev85 said:

Hey,

I read your post. I was wondering about few things. Dont know whether it sounds stupid. Are people finding a reason to be depressed? Is depression a situation that is created by a person himself?

It does not sound stupid. It is actually a very good question. 

I would use the analogy of someone having a stone in their shoe. It is causing them discomfort. Has that situation been created by that person? Well, we could say they walked somewhere where there were a lot of small stones. Or they did not tie the laces on their shoes tight enough. But this does not mean they have caused the stone to be lodged in their shoe.

We go through life. We interact with the world. We experience emotions as part of life. We record these experiences in part of our minds and they have emotions attached to them.  Sometimes these experiences are mis recorded. Like in the above example where Jane's experience was recorded as "hot weather makes me depressed". But we can untangle and rewrite these records the same way we can take off our shoe, remove the stone and put it back on. 

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